Hating the attention I'm getting....
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There's a woman at work who is a feeder. She would constantly offer me food, and say things like "With all that running you do, you can eat the calories." I finally sat her down in my office and told her I have an eating disorder, and she needed to stop offering me food. Do not feed me. Do not comment on what I'm eating. Ever.
That's clear! How's it working?
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kshama2001 wrote: »There's a woman at work who is a feeder. She would constantly offer me food, and say things like "With all that running you do, you can eat the calories." I finally sat her down in my office and told her I have an eating disorder, and she needed to stop offering me food. Do not feed me. Do not comment on what I'm eating. Ever.
That's clear! How's it working?
Perfectly. She stopped completely, and doesn't comment on anything I'm doing, like eating or training. When I first told her she was a little overwhelmed and surprised by it, but nodded a lot and said okay.0 -
I get this a lot. It's irritating as hell. When I was 60lbs overweight, no one said a word. Drop some pounds, they come out of the woodwork commenting about what they think you should eat, when, why...
"Is it okay for you to be eating that?"
"You are getting too skinny."
"You are wasting away."
Mind you I'm 5'6" and 160 lbs at maintenance. I'm NOT at risk of starving to death.
There's a woman at work who is a feeder. She would constantly offer me food, and say things like "With all that running you do, you can eat the calories." I finally sat her down in my office and told her I have an eating disorder, and she needed to stop offering me food. Do not feed me. Do not comment on what I'm eating. Ever.
I'm so glad to have so much company with this issue. LOL! I identify with a lot of this. I've lost 20lbs, and am 5'4 and at 137 now. No starving here either! I've never had an eating disorder but this does make me want to go off and hide with my food so I can eat my cottage cheese/yogurt/boiled eggs (I'm all about protein!) in peace!
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I get a lot of comments on my weight loss, at least a few every day. It doesn't bother me at all, but no one has been rude or passive aggressive about it...just complimenting. But I do feel awkward when I respond, and never really know what to say.0
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I'm so glad to have so much company with this issue. LOL! I identify with a lot of this. I've lost 20lbs, and am 5'4 and at 137 now. No starving here either! I've never had an eating disorder but this does make me want to go off and hide with my food so I can eat my cottage cheese/yogurt/boiled eggs (I'm all about protein!) in peace!
Here's the thing you nailed, I just want to eat my lunch. Occasionally, yes it's great to get a "good job". The other day I was wearing a new sweater. Someone said the color looked wonderful on me, and they loved it. I don't mind those comments. Enough of my life is focused on what I'm putting in my body, I don't need the negative commentary.0 -
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Most of my friends just are rah-rah, you go girl, types. And besides, there are other health goals yet to be conquered. This is merely one.
But the ones who crack me up are the competitive types. My gosh, coworker loves now to tell me how much weight she has lost, and she "can't be bothered with counting calories." lol I truly hope she does lose the weight. More power to her, and I couldn't care less how.
But that competitive thing that people cannot hide? I get embarrassed for them, actually. I can't imagine not having a good social filter.0 -
I've been maintaining for 20 years and I STILL love the attention I get, for being in better shape than I was in my teens, or just for being in shape. I also don't take it as anything more, or less, than a compliment.0
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I think it helps if you can look behind the actual words and think about the person actually making them at the time.
If they are genuinely nice people and the words they have used are not laced with some ill intent or sarcasm then it was probably meant as a compliment and if they knew that they were causing you discomfort or embarrassment they would be appalled.
Over the years I too have struggled to deal with random comments on losing weight and the changes others see; as @PeachyCarol has said, sometimes these issues aren't about the person making the comment, they are about us, our life and our outlook.....I did what Carol has suggested and looked inwards and found my answers.... from there on it was much easier to deal with unsolicited comments on my appearance.
That said, I still have NOT mastered the comments like...."OMG you are fading away"....."You are SO tiny, you must need to run around in the shower to get wet" and a doozey of a one where a no longer friend said the following - "My God you look like a walking skeleton...Yuck." None of those people making the comments cared a damn that I am not well and struggle at times to keep weight up, none of them cared (and they knew) that the chronic illness was really bad and flaring....
So Yeah, it is all about intent....but that doe not mean that your feelings are any less important either.
I wish you the best as you navigate this area where the World seems determined to constantly suffer from foot in mouth syndrome.0 -
It's interesting to see how many people react differently, but I guess really to understand we would all have hear the tone and intent of the comments.
I generally wouldn't even comment to someone I didn't know reasonably well anyway, and if I do I try not to pass advice, judgement, input, etc, but just let them know it was noticed.
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It is usually impolite to comment on someone's body.
Some people at work say, "you look great." I say, "thank you" and move on to something else. Only three people at work asked a little for details.
The first I referred to the app, the second I told I was eating less but she did not really believe me and let it drop, the third is a scientist who pushed for details so I told her I was tracking calories and being consistent. She was happy for me.0 -
I get teased by my coworkers now
"You know that has calories right"
"Can you eat that? Calories!"
"Calories calories!"
"I thought you're on a diet?"
"You cant eat that you'll get fat!"
"She cant eat that its not healthy, shes on a diet."
"Stop losing weight it'll look bad!"
Try to ignore honestly. It's what I do...or try to0 -
I can't relate..I get a lot of comments and questions from people I know about my weight loss and I love telling my story and sorting out any questions they may have..Maybe cuz I'm a dude and because I'm just a ham..
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I can't relate..I get a lot of comments and questions from people I know about my weight loss and I love telling my story and sorting out any questions they may have..Maybe cuz I'm a dude and because I'm just a ham..
Not a dude, but I love answering questions too. I'm thrilled if I can be a good influence.0 -
kshama2001 wrote: »There's a woman at work who is a feeder. She would constantly offer me food, and say things like "With all that running you do, you can eat the calories." I finally sat her down in my office and told her I have an eating disorder, and she needed to stop offering me food. Do not feed me. Do not comment on what I'm eating. Ever.
That's clear! How's it working?
Perfectly. She stopped completely, and doesn't comment on anything I'm doing, like eating or training. When I first told her she was a little overwhelmed and surprised by it, but nodded a lot and said okay.
That's wonderful! Hooray for clear and effective communication!0 -
I've just started my healthy eating and working out etc, and one thing that is annoying more than anything at this stage is the peer pressure, mocking kind of thing.
I play in a band, so as you may expect we have had a drinking and partying culture. So now I am cutting out the drink for a bit there's a lot of "boooo, wheres the old Ton gone?"
Mostly it is just playful, but it could aid in falling off the wagon in future. We have a fair few gigs upcoming to the end of the year so I will need to keep a lid on it and stay strong to resist temptation!!
It goes beyond just my band mates though. I have other groups of friends, and family, and my "I'm off the beer" talk is met with a lot of scepticism and a sense of "yeah right" or "don't be a tart".
Sod them all though, I am here to better myself
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^^
That's exactly what I'm talking about. I'm going to follow everyone's lead and just keep on keepin on with what I'm doing.
I will say one thing with regards to people telling me not to lose too much though. I just put on Halloween makeup because my son thinks it's fun when I dress up with him. I took a pic of my face to send to someone because I've truly succeeded in making myself look ridiculous. LOL! Looking at the pic...I see how much I've lost through my face and shoulders, and that's what people are looking at..... What they don't see is the lower half of me, which is what needs a major overhaul (scrubs hide a multitude of flaws).
I don't feel I should have to explain that while I'm small on top, I carry all my weight from the waist down. Ok. I'm just gonna stop now. Thanks all! 0 -
Its just the way people are wired. Start losing weight and you'll see people observing what you eat, making comments, questions, etc. It's annoying yet probably unavoidable.0
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I get comments about my weight loss, and how/what I eat. The same people also make comments about my hair if I change the colour or get it cut, or if I wear a new outfit. I always thought of comments of that nature as people making conversation and notice that I made a change. Never thought to be offended. It's a conversation starter. Change topics if you're not comfortable. Personally, I enjoy when someone takes an interest in something I'm doing.0
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sunparakeet wrote: »Just dont worry about it. Getting defensive or argumentative makes you stand out even more. Say something like "I'm proud of the way I look!" or "I just feel so much better since I've started eating more healthy foods!". When my co-workers say something about me being "so skinny" I tell them that actually I'm not skinny, I'm a healthy weight for my height.
And not to sound rude or hateful, but fat people often want to sabotage the health/nutrition/exercise efforts of others, because seeing other people succeed forces them to look at their own failures.
Your true friends want you to be healthy and happy.
That. It happened to me years ago when I lost weight and my neighbor told me I was skinny. Of course I wasn't and it was a genuine compliment but it freaked me out. Now when people comment or compliment I just say thank you or I'm working on it and I keep it pushing. Don't overthink it.0 -
Yes! I hate the comments too! I've lost 75 pounds and I would say pretty much every day I get comments from at least one person (unless I don't leave the house!). On the one hand, I'm proud of my weight loss and I don't mind sharing with people how I've lost the weight. It feels good to have my hard work recognized. But mostly I just don't like the attention. I'm a shy person so it makes me uncomfortable. I'm not doing this for other people... I'm doing this for myself.0
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FWIW, for every thread from someone who feels uncomfortable receiving comments or having people notice their weight loss and wants people to keep quiet, there is another thread from someone bemoaning the fact that no one has noticed their hard work and resulting weight loss.
To each his own, I suppose.0 -
It matters what type of work place, because in a profession setting, people do not comment on each other's bodies.
If someone is gauche or socially stupid, it is good to ignore them.
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people just like to comment. Especially if they see someone succeeding at something. I get told"stop losing weight you're disappearing" too - from two larger ladies here at work. Not from the slim women mind you. I am nowhere NEAR disappearing - seriously. I just go "hm hum." and continue on with my life.
One of them told me "aren't you going to stop that gym stuff now? You've already lost all the weight to need to lose you can stop now" - ok - so I stop and then I gain it all back?? No thanks!
Then I get the diet commentators - "oh! you are eating carbs! Aren't you on a diet?" yes - yes I am, and I got carbs on my meal plan baby! and "aren't you doing that Paleo thing"? no, no I'm not. And then the looks on faces when I am carrying my loaded plate to my desk you can see the brains going "how has she lost weight but is eating two massive meals during the work day?"
I am just waiting to see what the comments will be when I start to look more muscular early next year (I'm in my first month of comp prep for next year...)0
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