1220 calories - Morbidly obese (obese Class 3) Male - Meal Suggestions - Assistance Needed.
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My only suggestion would be to get him out of bed and into a bariatric wheelchair. Moving his weight around by wheeling will certainly add exercise while he waits for his ankle to heal. For his diet he needs professional help- not a well intentioned friend.0
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I'm still wondering why you feel obligated to do this? Are you his caregiver? Why isn't his wife participating in overseeing his health and diet?0
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Lots of red flags. He has to want this for himself. I pity him in his plight, but seriously... I think you need to back away from this one.0
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Calliope610 wrote: »I'm still wondering why you feel obligated to do this? Are you his caregiver? Why isn't his wife participating in overseeing his health and diet?
I'm curious about this as well. I'll admit to wondering if the wife has thrown up her hands in frustration.0 -
Calliope610 wrote: »I'm still wondering why you feel obligated to do this? Are you his caregiver? Why isn't his wife participating in overseeing his health and diet?
It's not an obligation, as much as if I don't help him he will end up having diabetes in a couple of years from now. While having a poor quality of life.
His wife can do as much as he allows her to. She cannot force him what to eat and what not.
If I give him a weekly meal plan he will stick to it for the most part. His wife is willing to cook everything and weight stuff as long as she has preset product list and quantities.
They don't know basic nutrition.
For example pork side baked would mean as much as chicken breast if in the same quantity for them.0 -
Calliope610 wrote: »I'm still wondering why you feel obligated to do this? Are you his caregiver? Why isn't his wife participating in overseeing his health and diet?
It's not an obligation, as much as if I don't help him he will end up having diabetes in a couple of years from now. While having a poor quality of life.
His wife can do as much as he allows her to. She cannot force him what to eat and what not.
If I give him a weekly meal plan he will stick to it for the most part. His wife is willing to cook everything and weight stuff as long as she has preset product list and quantities.
They don't know basic nutrition.
For example pork side baked would mean as much as chicken breast if in the same quantity for them.
Does he have a disability or condition that prevents him from learning about basic nutrition and meal planning? Or is he simply uninterested? If the latter, why are you more invested in his health than he is?0 -
If I give him a weekly meal plan he will stick to it for the most part. His wife is willing to cook everything and weight stuff as long as she has preset product list and quantities.
Not true, as evidenced in your original post>For example, I prepared his food yesterday and even tho that he said that he wouldn't eat anything besides what I would give him,when he asked me to make the meal plans for him, he went ahead and ate a piece of fruit when I wasn't there. I was not in his apartment for only like 4 hours yesterday and most of that time he was sleeping.
Today, he started his day with coffee and a piece of bread before i arrived at his place.
When I asked him if he ate anything today when i gave him his breakfast he said no.
Then I asked him if he drank anything and he mentioned the coffee. And then he mentioned the bread..
When i told him that he should have not eaten extra he acted as if bread or fruit had 0 calories and it was nothing(meaning it wouldn't hinder his weight loss).
'For the most part" won't cut if for successful weight loss. That "least part" can make or break any success.
I fear that you will become the scapegoat when he does not lose weight as a result of not adhering to the meal plans you have painstaking researched and prepared for him. It won't be his fault (once again I'm sure), it will be your fault he can't lose weight and develops further health problems.0 -
I'd ask him how fond he was of his feet and lower legs. The path he's on will lead to amputation and eventually death. He's an adult. If he wants to lose weight, he will get off his current path, use a scale and learn how many calories are in food. Period. Someone that size does not even need to track all that well. Just track. I started at a higher weight than him. So I'm not saying I don't have sympathy. Or, he can pay for a professional to do it for him. I would not volunteer to help someone who seems so reluctant to help himself unless I was getting paid to put up with his shenanigans.0
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Calliope610 wrote: »I'm still wondering why you feel obligated to do this? Are you his caregiver? Why isn't his wife participating in overseeing his health and diet?
It's not an obligation, as much as if I don't help him he will end up having diabetes in a couple of years from now. While having a poor quality of life.
His wife can do as much as he allows her to. She cannot force him what to eat and what not.
If I give him a weekly meal plan he will stick to it for the most part. His wife is willing to cook everything and weight stuff as long as she has preset product list and quantities.
They don't know basic nutrition.
For example pork side baked would mean as much as chicken breast if in the same quantity for them.
Does he have a disability or condition that prevents him from learning about basic nutrition and meal planning? Or is he simply uninterested? If the latter, why are you more invested in his health than he is?
No disability. He is the kind of person that is uninterested till something clicks in. He is usually afraid of trying something because he thinks he will fail at it. That leads to anxiety so he doesn't get involved right away with many things.
I know that nutrition is something that would interest him, as long as I'd "force" him the first month.
But he will not stick to it unless he has a preset meal plan. I am sure that daily slip ups will happen. But at the same time that those will happen, he will have the required deficit to lose for example if not 1kg/week then 0.8kg plus the initial water weight, that will make him more interested at it.
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Calliope610 wrote: »I'm still wondering why you feel obligated to do this? Are you his caregiver? Why isn't his wife participating in overseeing his health and diet?
It's not an obligation, as much as if I don't help him he will end up having diabetes in a couple of years from now. While having a poor quality of life.
His wife can do as much as he allows her to. She cannot force him what to eat and what not.
If I give him a weekly meal plan he will stick to it for the most part. His wife is willing to cook everything and weight stuff as long as she has preset product list and quantities.
They don't know basic nutrition.
For example pork side baked would mean as much as chicken breast if in the same quantity for them.
He can learn basic nutrition if it is important to him.... obviously it's not.0 -
I didn't read all that (I kind of skimmed) because I figured something out pretty quickly: If he really wanted to lose weight, he would be looking into it instead of you looking into it.
People who cannot be bothered to see the see the doctor really don't care that much about their health. That's cool. That's most people! It's their choice and we have to respect their choice. But if he doesn't care, he doesn't. Suggest that he see the doctor for a physical and get a referral to a dietitian while he's there. Tell him that you're not qualified to help him, but they are. Tell him that losing weight is hard work and that he needs to start doing it (!) and that the place to begin is the doctor's office.
There is no reason for you to knock yourself out trying to keep him healthy if he won't even bother to visit the people who are qualified to give him GOOD advice. You shouldn't be doing more work than he does!
When he's truly motivated to lose weight, he will seek the advice of people who are qualified to help him. Until he's really motivated, I'd wash my hands of the whole business. Adult people make their own choices. We cannot save them from themselves.0 -
You are very kind and well meaning but this is ridiculous. He has to have special coffee, he doesn't like to eat the same thing two days in a row, people have to wait on him. He sounds like a baby. You can try all you want but you can't help him. He has to help himself. The picture you have painted for us is one of a meek and simple wife with a demanding and petulant husband. The weight and poor health are simply one small part of a dysfunctional relationship.. He needs to see a therapist (for anxiety if nothing else), a physician (to deal with the ramifications of his kidney situation), and a dietician who can educate him about nutrition. If he really wanted to lose weight, he could eat a bowl of cereal every morning, a turkey sandwich every day for lunch and chicken and vegetables for dinner. The weight would fall off but obviously that's not what's going to happen. Save yourself misery and politely remove yourself from this situation!0
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Tblackdogs wrote: »You are very kind and well meaning but this is ridiculous. He has to have special coffee, he doesn't like to eat the same thing two days in a row, people have to wait on him. He sounds like a baby. You can try all you want but you can't help him. He has to help himself. The picture you have painted for us is one of a meek and simple wife with a demanding and petulant husband. The weight and poor health are simply one small part of a dysfunctional relationship.. He needs to see a therapist (for anxiety if nothing else), a physician (to deal with the ramifications of his kidney situation), and a dietician who can educate him about nutrition. If he really wanted to lose weight, he could eat a bowl of cereal every morning, a turkey sandwich every day for lunch and chicken and vegetables for dinner. The weight would fall off but obviously that's not what's going to happen. Save yourself misery and politely remove yourself from this situation!
The reason people behave this way is because they are allowed to. Somehow they get through life without anyone ever saying to them, "Hey, your behavior is unacceptable." OP, if you give in to his demands you're just reinforcing this behavior even more. Send him to doctors just as suggested above.0 -
Are you sure you put his stats in correctly? You put 1.58 cm on here.
Yes he is 1.58cm 107.6kgRuNaRoUnDaFiEld wrote: »Did they remove the gland as well as the kidney?
I have no idea about that. He was diagnosed with kidney cancer and had his kidney removed 3years ago but his weight loss issues go back way before that.
1.58 cm is less than 1 inch. That can't be correct.
1m58cm... I thought it was pretty obvious?
That's like 5.18 in feet/inches
It's funny how you thought it was sooo obvious that you meant 1m58cm, and then you go ahead and incorrectly write his height in feet/inches..lol. Not that easy to correctly interpret a system with which you are 'obviously' unfamiliar, is it? Think about it from the other person's perspective.
Anyway, you can only help someone so much. If he wants to keep living his life that way, what can you do? You can try to teach someone and encourage them, but in the end, he is the one in control of his body. If a person wants to destroy himself, he will do it. It's good of you to want to help, but you can only do so much before it starts stressing and destroying you in the process.
Also, with his complicated situation, this sounds like something that requires a professional. You may want to suggest that to them if you haven't already.0 -
Calliope610 wrote: »I'm still wondering why you feel obligated to do this? Are you his caregiver? Why isn't his wife participating in overseeing his health and diet?
It's not an obligation, as much as if I don't help him he will end up having diabetes in a couple of years from now. While having a poor quality of life.
His wife can do as much as he allows her to. She cannot force him what to eat and what not.
If I give him a weekly meal plan he will stick to it for the most part. His wife is willing to cook everything and weight stuff as long as she has preset product list and quantities.
They don't know basic nutrition.
For example pork side baked would mean as much as chicken breast if in the same quantity for them.
Does he have a disability or condition that prevents him from learning about basic nutrition and meal planning? Or is he simply uninterested? If the latter, why are you more invested in his health than he is?
No disability. He is the kind of person that is uninterested till something clicks in. He is usually afraid of trying something because he thinks he will fail at it. That leads to anxiety so he doesn't get involved right away with many things.
I know that nutrition is something that would interest him, as long as I'd "force" him the first month.
But he will not stick to it unless he has a preset meal plan. I am sure that daily slip ups will happen. But at the same time that those will happen, he will have the required deficit to lose for example if not 1kg/week then 0.8kg plus the initial water weight, that will make him more interested at it.
His health isn't enough to make the need to change his ways "click in"?
What makes you so special to this guy that you'll get through to him? You actually believe that?0 -
Calliope610 wrote: »I'm still wondering why you feel obligated to do this? Are you his caregiver? Why isn't his wife participating in overseeing his health and diet?
It's not an obligation, as much as if I don't help him he will end up having diabetes in a couple of years from now. While having a poor quality of life.
His wife can do as much as he allows her to. She cannot force him what to eat and what not.
If I give him a weekly meal plan he will stick to it for the most part. His wife is willing to cook everything and weight stuff as long as she has preset product list and quantities.
They don't know basic nutrition.
For example pork side baked would mean as much as chicken breast if in the same quantity for them.
Think about it though - you're not the only one that knows this and can act on it. He does, too. He should be the one doing all of this if he cares about his health, not you. You need a lot of stamina to complete this task. You cannot do it for someone else
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I hope he pays you for all this effort you put into a project that will fail.
This lazy, selfish manchild is obviously good at manipulating, so this will go nowhere.0 -
He doesn't need people to help him diet. He needs a tough-love-style intervention. If someone is addicted to drugs you don't do rehab for them. They need to do it themselves, and not be helped every step of the way. It's his responsibility, not anyone else's.
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If he is unwilling to do at least some of the work himself, than he is not ready to make this journey. He should not be putting this on anyone else, this is his life and his journey. I would suggest high fiber high protean foods and to drink lots and lots of water, in fact drink only water, I am 240 lbs and drink between 12 to 18 cups of water a day.0
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