1220 calories - Morbidly obese (obese Class 3) Male - Meal Suggestions - Assistance Needed.
bloody88
Posts: 120 Member
Sorry for the long post, there's a TL:DR version at the bottom, but it would be great if you could take the time to read everything and then respond.
Help me to help him would be an alternative title..
A relative of mine, has asked me help him, to lose weight.
A couple of things about him..
His Stats are the following:
Activity: Sedentary
Height: 1.58 cm
Weight: 107.6 kg
Age: 41
BMI: 43.1
MFP calorie suggestion for 1kg/week: 1220.
Health Issues: Broken ankle, 1 kidney extracted.
Exercise besides walking is not possible, and for 1.5 month not even walking is possible.
I thought that men aren't supposed to go below 1500-1600 cals/day.
How can I keep his 108kg body full with the suggested mfp calories?
He is bedridden atm, since he broke his ankle, and he will continue to stay on bed for at least 1.5 more month.
He is/will be doing thrombosis injections due to his weight/lack of physical activity for as long as he will be staying on bed.
He has crush dieted numerous times in the past and he packed all the weight back up plus more.
He is not active normally and crowded places cause him anxiety due to his weight, which makes me want to help him, but..
I don't want to babysit him everyday if he is overeating or not.. I want him to have full responsibility on his overeating.
I'd like to give him a weekly meal plan and then if he doesn't follow it, to know that it was his fault that he didn't lose weight, and not mine for setting unrealistic meal plans or simply because I wasn't there to find out the calories for the specific food he wanted to eat that day in order to restrain him from eating it.
Eventually what I want to achieve with a set meal plan is that if he won't follow it this week, he will the next one or after a month.
I am not a dietitian nor a nutritionist and he will not go to one either. Which is the reason I am asking you guys for help.
I am facing difficulties tho creating meal plans for him due to some restrictions which am listing below:
1. He says he wants to lose weight, but he won't weight his food unless someone else does it for him and serves him the food.
His wife can add the weight in part to her daily obligations, but she is not an internet user so accessing nutritional info through it would be impossible for her.
He on the other hand won't bother with it unless he gets interested at the part of nitpicking for nutritional values of food which it doesn't seem to be any time soon.
I have found a solution to that, which is to find the products myself and just tell his wife what to buy and the required quantities to give him in order to lose weight.
2. He wants to have variety. Like 2 daily repeated meal plans for the week even if practicable are unlikely an option to him , since he will ask his wife to make him something else for lunch/dinner and she will do so.
3. Two of the seven days of the week need to NOT include meat or dairy due to religious reasons.
5. He wants at least one (if not two) coffee(s) every day with 2 tbsp of sugar and unknown quantity of foam milk to be worked in his calories(I calculated that to be approximately 156 calories)
Which leads to me having less room to create his meals.
5. He is impatient. He wants the weight gone.. Yesterday!
When i mentioned the 1kg/week loss he says he can eat less, if it's to lose more in a week. Like he wants to lose 17 kilos at start in a month..
I don't doubt he can lose something like 8 - 12 kg the first 4 weeks due to the starting water weight if he stays to the suggested 1220 calories from MFP, but I just don't think he will stick to such low calorie allotment.
Reason is because I know that his perspective when eating stuff.
Eating something out of the meal plan when he feels like it. Like a piece of fruit, or a piece of bread, or an extra coffee, or anything for that matter, is supposed not to harm his diet. But that might and will happen daily.
For example, I prepared his food yesterday and even tho that he said that he wouldn't eat anything besides what I would give him,when he asked me to make the meal plans for him, he went ahead and ate a piece of fruit when I wasn't there. I was not in his apartment for only like 4 hours yesterday and most of that time he was sleeping.
Today, he started his day with coffee and a piece of bread before i arrived at his place.
When I asked him if he ate anything today when i gave him his breakfast he said no.
Then I asked him if he drank anything and he mentioned the coffee. And then he mentioned the bread..
When i told him that he should have not eaten extra he acted as if bread or fruit had 0 calories and it was nothing(meaning it wouldn't hinder his weight loss).
Yesterday he was asking me what's in for tomorrow, and when I told him that I hadn't created a different meal plan for every day of the week and that he had to either eat the same lunch or look for alternatives through a site that i gave him which had a nutrition search tool(and i am not saying the name in case people think it's advertising), I explained it to him twice how to use it but he just didn't bother with it.
He just looked at the image that i sent him with the different cuts of pork, in which i analyzed him which one had the least calories(due to the reduced amount of fat content in it).
This was his meal plan yesterday:
I was thinking of almond milk for one of the non dairy/meat days and some vegetable or lentil/bean soup.
But feel free to link me your ideas and/or meal plans that you have daily.
Any help appreciated.
TL:DR:
Help me to help him would be an alternative title..
A relative of mine, has asked me help him, to lose weight.
A couple of things about him..
His Stats are the following:
Activity: Sedentary
Height: 1.58 cm
Weight: 107.6 kg
Age: 41
BMI: 43.1
MFP calorie suggestion for 1kg/week: 1220.
Health Issues: Broken ankle, 1 kidney extracted.
Exercise besides walking is not possible, and for 1.5 month not even walking is possible.
I thought that men aren't supposed to go below 1500-1600 cals/day.
How can I keep his 108kg body full with the suggested mfp calories?
He is bedridden atm, since he broke his ankle, and he will continue to stay on bed for at least 1.5 more month.
He is/will be doing thrombosis injections due to his weight/lack of physical activity for as long as he will be staying on bed.
He has crush dieted numerous times in the past and he packed all the weight back up plus more.
He is not active normally and crowded places cause him anxiety due to his weight, which makes me want to help him, but..
I don't want to babysit him everyday if he is overeating or not.. I want him to have full responsibility on his overeating.
I'd like to give him a weekly meal plan and then if he doesn't follow it, to know that it was his fault that he didn't lose weight, and not mine for setting unrealistic meal plans or simply because I wasn't there to find out the calories for the specific food he wanted to eat that day in order to restrain him from eating it.
Eventually what I want to achieve with a set meal plan is that if he won't follow it this week, he will the next one or after a month.
I am not a dietitian nor a nutritionist and he will not go to one either. Which is the reason I am asking you guys for help.
I am facing difficulties tho creating meal plans for him due to some restrictions which am listing below:
1. He says he wants to lose weight, but he won't weight his food unless someone else does it for him and serves him the food.
His wife can add the weight in part to her daily obligations, but she is not an internet user so accessing nutritional info through it would be impossible for her.
He on the other hand won't bother with it unless he gets interested at the part of nitpicking for nutritional values of food which it doesn't seem to be any time soon.
I have found a solution to that, which is to find the products myself and just tell his wife what to buy and the required quantities to give him in order to lose weight.
2. He wants to have variety. Like 2 daily repeated meal plans for the week even if practicable are unlikely an option to him , since he will ask his wife to make him something else for lunch/dinner and she will do so.
3. Two of the seven days of the week need to NOT include meat or dairy due to religious reasons.
5. He wants at least one (if not two) coffee(s) every day with 2 tbsp of sugar and unknown quantity of foam milk to be worked in his calories(I calculated that to be approximately 156 calories)
Which leads to me having less room to create his meals.
5. He is impatient. He wants the weight gone.. Yesterday!
When i mentioned the 1kg/week loss he says he can eat less, if it's to lose more in a week. Like he wants to lose 17 kilos at start in a month..
I don't doubt he can lose something like 8 - 12 kg the first 4 weeks due to the starting water weight if he stays to the suggested 1220 calories from MFP, but I just don't think he will stick to such low calorie allotment.
Reason is because I know that his perspective when eating stuff.
Eating something out of the meal plan when he feels like it. Like a piece of fruit, or a piece of bread, or an extra coffee, or anything for that matter, is supposed not to harm his diet. But that might and will happen daily.
For example, I prepared his food yesterday and even tho that he said that he wouldn't eat anything besides what I would give him,when he asked me to make the meal plans for him, he went ahead and ate a piece of fruit when I wasn't there. I was not in his apartment for only like 4 hours yesterday and most of that time he was sleeping.
Today, he started his day with coffee and a piece of bread before i arrived at his place.
When I asked him if he ate anything today when i gave him his breakfast he said no.
Then I asked him if he drank anything and he mentioned the coffee. And then he mentioned the bread..
When i told him that he should have not eaten extra he acted as if bread or fruit had 0 calories and it was nothing(meaning it wouldn't hinder his weight loss).
Yesterday he was asking me what's in for tomorrow, and when I told him that I hadn't created a different meal plan for every day of the week and that he had to either eat the same lunch or look for alternatives through a site that i gave him which had a nutrition search tool(and i am not saying the name in case people think it's advertising), I explained it to him twice how to use it but he just didn't bother with it.
He just looked at the image that i sent him with the different cuts of pork, in which i analyzed him which one had the least calories(due to the reduced amount of fat content in it).
This was his meal plan yesterday:
(the 2 tbsps of sugar and the ml on milk on extras are estimations of what his coffee consisted of since he orders it instead of making it at home.)
I was thinking of almond milk for one of the non dairy/meat days and some vegetable or lentil/bean soup.
But feel free to link me your ideas and/or meal plans that you have daily.
Any help appreciated.
TL:DR:
Can you give me daily suggestions to help me make a weekly meal plan, with two days of non dairy/meat.
Calories available: 1064 for normal days.
Calories available: 1164 for the non dairy/meat days.
Daily allotment: 1220 and the above values are with coffee in them.
Calories available: 1064 for normal days.
Calories available: 1164 for the non dairy/meat days.
Daily allotment: 1220 and the above values are with coffee in them.
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Replies
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Are you sure you put his stats in correctly? You put 1.58 cm on here.0
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Did they remove the gland as well as the kidney?0
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Are you sure you put his stats in correctly? You put 1.58 cm on here.
Yes he is 1.58cm 107.6kgRuNaRoUnDaFiEld wrote: »Did they remove the gland as well as the kidney?
I have no idea about that. He was diagnosed with kidney cancer and had his kidney removed 3years ago but his weight loss issues go back way before that.0 -
Are you sure you put his stats in correctly? You put 1.58 cm on here.
Yes he is 1.58cm 107.6kgRuNaRoUnDaFiEld wrote: »Did they remove the gland as well as the kidney?
I have no idea about that. He was diagnosed with kidney cancer and had his kidney removed 3years ago.
Then no-one can help you safely and you can't help him safely either. Potassium and sodium need to monitored if the gland was removed.0 -
Are you sure you put his stats in correctly? You put 1.58 cm on here.
Yes he is 1.58cm 107.6kgRuNaRoUnDaFiEld wrote: »Did they remove the gland as well as the kidney?
I have no idea about that. He was diagnosed with kidney cancer and had his kidney removed 3years ago but his weight loss issues go back way before that.
1.58 cm is less than 1 inch. That can't be correct.
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He is not paying attention to his sodium nor potassium. Doctors didn't mention anything about monitoring those two. Which would make sense since it affects how kidneys function.
He is only paying attention to what medications he should not get(like for example aspirin)and not his diet.
His current diet habits, consist of quite some salt if I must say.
Doctors have warned him to lose weight, because he had high blood sugar a couple of times but if he doesn't get help he can't make it on his own.0 -
Are you sure you put his stats in correctly? You put 1.58 cm on here.
Yes he is 1.58cm 107.6kgRuNaRoUnDaFiEld wrote: »Did they remove the gland as well as the kidney?
I have no idea about that. He was diagnosed with kidney cancer and had his kidney removed 3years ago but his weight loss issues go back way before that.
1.58 cm is less than 1 inch. That can't be correct.
1m58cm... I thought it was pretty obvious?
That's like 5.18 in feet/inches0 -
You can't fix him.0
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The best way to go about this would be to talk to his doctor or a dietician. I know you've said he wont go and see one, but I think you need to sit him down and explain to him why he HAS to talk to one. You really need some sort of professional advice given that, as Runaround said, none of us can give you safe advice. Once you've spoken to a nutritionist or his doctor, you can always come back on here to ask for more specific help (Ie meal ideas that fit into a plan his doctor has set out for him). At the end of the day if he really wants to do this he'll get the help he needs (whether that means going to a dietician or not).
What you're trying to do is very admirable though, you must have a lot of patience to deal with someone elses weight loss issues, especially someone with so many requirements and complications!0 -
Bloody88, you wrote 1.58cm.
Centimeters. Less than an inch. Not likely that he is the size of an insect. So if you put 1.58cm in mfp, of course it gave him only 1220 calories. Make sure you get the meters in there. It thinks you're trying to make a cricket lose weight.
Put in his actual height and you'll get far more calories.0 -
He is not paying attention to his sodium nor potassium. Doctors didn't mention anything about monitoring those two. Which would make sense since it affects how kidneys function.
He is only paying attention to what medications he should not get(like for example aspirin)and not his diet.
His current diet habits, consist of quite some salt if I must say.
Doctors have warned him to lose weight, because he had high blood sugar a couple of times but if he doesn't get help he can't make it on his own.
He may not be but he should be, people with one kidney due to removal are a completely different kettle of fish to someone born with only kidney. Their other kidney grows larger to cope.
If the gland is in tact (Which they try to leave it) then it is less worry as his potassium and sodium levels will still be getting balanced as will his total electrolytes.
He really needs to see a dietician or Dr to help with the meal plan as it can be very easy to over eat potassium and over do water when you are trying to eat more naturally, which is no doubt the type of foods most people would put on a meal plan for weight loss. You do not want to negatively effect his GFR.
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Bloody88, you wrote 1.58cm.
Centimeters. Less than an inch. Not likely that he is the size of an insect. So if you put 1.58cm in mfp, of course it gave him only 1220 calories. Make sure you get the meters in there. It thinks you're trying to make a cricket lose weight.
Put in his actual height and you'll get far more calories.
Feel free to make a new account if you wish so.
The stats are correctly set.
For a 41 y old male, 158cm, 107.6kg and Sedentary lifestyle it gives 1220calories/day. If he was like 13years younger it would give him 1310..0 -
RuNaRoUnDaFiEld wrote: »He is not paying attention to his sodium nor potassium. Doctors didn't mention anything about monitoring those two. Which would make sense since it affects how kidneys function.
He is only paying attention to what medications he should not get(like for example aspirin)and not his diet.
His current diet habits, consist of quite some salt if I must say.
Doctors have warned him to lose weight, because he had high blood sugar a couple of times but if he doesn't get help he can't make it on his own.
He may not be but he should be, people with one kidney due to removal are a completely different kettle of fish to someone born with only kidney. Their other kidney grows larger to cope.
If the gland is in tact (Which they try to leave it) then it is less worry as his potassium and sodium levels will still be getting balanced as will his total electrolytes.
He really needs to see a dietician or Dr to help with the meal plan as it can be very easy to over eat potassium and over do water when you are trying to eat more naturally, which is no doubt the type of foods most people would put on a meal plan for weight loss. You do not want to negatively effect his GFR.
Thanks, I will inform him about that and make sure he will go to a doctor in case the one that supervised the surgery forgot to inform him about it.0 -
Try re-entering his info with the correct information... Scooby says 1800 calories with a 25% deficit at sedentary...0
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OP...I admire your determination and compassion. However...you can't help someone that won't help themselves.
I tried once...he ended up taking his own life and I was left with the guilt of that I didn't do enough. It has taken many years to get beyond those feelings. I am still paying the price however of all of those years of feeling unworthy and the abuse of neglect to my own well-being.
Looking back...I would have done things differently.0 -
I think this situation is much more than a layman can handle; this requires professional guidance and monitoring.
ETA: I see a lot of "he wants, he wants", not a whole lot of "he is willing to do". That isn't much of a formula for success.0 -
Babysitting is for babies, not for adults. He can lose weight when he is ready to make some compromizes, not before. There's nothing you can do for him now, diet wise.0
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You lost me at #1. I would tell him to see a registered dietician. He doesn't want to lose weight and be healthy. He wants somebody else to lose weight for him and make him healthy.0
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Wow. Wow wow wow. I mean I just knew you were a significant other of some sort. Then to find out he has a wife. And neither of them wants to do this. So you'll do it for them?? It's not a recipe for success. Just continue to be a good example, and when he's ready, you'll have the info. You can't do this for him, you'll just wind up ripping your hair out when the excuses start to pile up.0
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My only suggestion would be to get him out of bed and into a bariatric wheelchair. Moving his weight around by wheeling will certainly add exercise while he waits for his ankle to heal. For his diet he needs professional help- not a well intentioned friend.0
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I'm still wondering why you feel obligated to do this? Are you his caregiver? Why isn't his wife participating in overseeing his health and diet?0
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Lots of red flags. He has to want this for himself. I pity him in his plight, but seriously... I think you need to back away from this one.0
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Calliope610 wrote: »I'm still wondering why you feel obligated to do this? Are you his caregiver? Why isn't his wife participating in overseeing his health and diet?
I'm curious about this as well. I'll admit to wondering if the wife has thrown up her hands in frustration.0 -
Calliope610 wrote: »I'm still wondering why you feel obligated to do this? Are you his caregiver? Why isn't his wife participating in overseeing his health and diet?
It's not an obligation, as much as if I don't help him he will end up having diabetes in a couple of years from now. While having a poor quality of life.
His wife can do as much as he allows her to. She cannot force him what to eat and what not.
If I give him a weekly meal plan he will stick to it for the most part. His wife is willing to cook everything and weight stuff as long as she has preset product list and quantities.
They don't know basic nutrition.
For example pork side baked would mean as much as chicken breast if in the same quantity for them.0 -
Calliope610 wrote: »I'm still wondering why you feel obligated to do this? Are you his caregiver? Why isn't his wife participating in overseeing his health and diet?
It's not an obligation, as much as if I don't help him he will end up having diabetes in a couple of years from now. While having a poor quality of life.
His wife can do as much as he allows her to. She cannot force him what to eat and what not.
If I give him a weekly meal plan he will stick to it for the most part. His wife is willing to cook everything and weight stuff as long as she has preset product list and quantities.
They don't know basic nutrition.
For example pork side baked would mean as much as chicken breast if in the same quantity for them.
Does he have a disability or condition that prevents him from learning about basic nutrition and meal planning? Or is he simply uninterested? If the latter, why are you more invested in his health than he is?0 -
If I give him a weekly meal plan he will stick to it for the most part. His wife is willing to cook everything and weight stuff as long as she has preset product list and quantities.
Not true, as evidenced in your original post>For example, I prepared his food yesterday and even tho that he said that he wouldn't eat anything besides what I would give him,when he asked me to make the meal plans for him, he went ahead and ate a piece of fruit when I wasn't there. I was not in his apartment for only like 4 hours yesterday and most of that time he was sleeping.
Today, he started his day with coffee and a piece of bread before i arrived at his place.
When I asked him if he ate anything today when i gave him his breakfast he said no.
Then I asked him if he drank anything and he mentioned the coffee. And then he mentioned the bread..
When i told him that he should have not eaten extra he acted as if bread or fruit had 0 calories and it was nothing(meaning it wouldn't hinder his weight loss).
'For the most part" won't cut if for successful weight loss. That "least part" can make or break any success.
I fear that you will become the scapegoat when he does not lose weight as a result of not adhering to the meal plans you have painstaking researched and prepared for him. It won't be his fault (once again I'm sure), it will be your fault he can't lose weight and develops further health problems.0 -
I'd ask him how fond he was of his feet and lower legs. The path he's on will lead to amputation and eventually death. He's an adult. If he wants to lose weight, he will get off his current path, use a scale and learn how many calories are in food. Period. Someone that size does not even need to track all that well. Just track. I started at a higher weight than him. So I'm not saying I don't have sympathy. Or, he can pay for a professional to do it for him. I would not volunteer to help someone who seems so reluctant to help himself unless I was getting paid to put up with his shenanigans.0
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Calliope610 wrote: »I'm still wondering why you feel obligated to do this? Are you his caregiver? Why isn't his wife participating in overseeing his health and diet?
It's not an obligation, as much as if I don't help him he will end up having diabetes in a couple of years from now. While having a poor quality of life.
His wife can do as much as he allows her to. She cannot force him what to eat and what not.
If I give him a weekly meal plan he will stick to it for the most part. His wife is willing to cook everything and weight stuff as long as she has preset product list and quantities.
They don't know basic nutrition.
For example pork side baked would mean as much as chicken breast if in the same quantity for them.
Does he have a disability or condition that prevents him from learning about basic nutrition and meal planning? Or is he simply uninterested? If the latter, why are you more invested in his health than he is?
No disability. He is the kind of person that is uninterested till something clicks in. He is usually afraid of trying something because he thinks he will fail at it. That leads to anxiety so he doesn't get involved right away with many things.
I know that nutrition is something that would interest him, as long as I'd "force" him the first month.
But he will not stick to it unless he has a preset meal plan. I am sure that daily slip ups will happen. But at the same time that those will happen, he will have the required deficit to lose for example if not 1kg/week then 0.8kg plus the initial water weight, that will make him more interested at it.
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