How to talk about weight loss without being a jerk?

tsamples23

I'm not sure this is the best place for this, but sometimes when I talk about weight loss success or my goals, I feel I'm coming off arrogant or I feel that they feel put down because they haven't had success. How can I talk about my fitness goals/success while still being sensitive to others that are struggling with it?

Liftng4Lis

Don't talk about it unless asked?

Sarajvz

Liftng4Lis wrote: »

Don't talk about it unless asked?

This, I don't talk about it unless someone specifically asks me.

I_Will_End_You

Your success has nothing to do with their failure, and you shouldn't feel bad about it if it comes up in conversation.

Need2Exerc1se

I agree it's best not to mention it unless it comes up in conversation. When it does, I briefly say what I've done and don't go on and on unless I'm asked for more details. I also always point out that while what I do works for me, people are different and someone else might my find my methods unsustainable. There are many paths to a goal.

AspenDan

Liftng4Lis wrote: »

Don't talk about it unless asked?

^^

kaylajane11

I_Will_End_You wrote: »

Your success has nothing to do with their failure, and you shouldn't feel bad about it if it comes up in conversation.

+1

jlahorn

99.9% of people could not give less of a &*^% about your fitness success/goals. It's a boring topic unless it's something the other person is also actively working on.

For those people who do actively inquire, be modest about your success and make sure you ask them how it's going for them. Then give NO ADVICE unless they ask for it. "What's working for me is x. I enjoy y and have seen some success with it", not "You should do x and y".

Soopatt

I struggle with the same thing.

It is all very well to say "don't talk about it unless asked", but does that mean we are not allowed to celebrate our achievements or talk about our new lifestyle in any way when it would be natural and normal to do so? On Facebook all my friends get to go on and on about how they made a cake for their kids party or their night of drinking, but if I talk about the healthy meal I made or an exercise session I am being a jerk? Why is my life less appropriate to humble brag about than theirs?

I don't think we should be ashamed about talking out our eating habits and our lives - I feel you OP.

Talking and sharing is not the same as preaching. If I talk about the salad I made or the run I went on, I am not telling anyone else to eat a salad or go on a run, any more than someone talking about their kids party is telling me to have kids, or telling other parents they organize horrible parties.

MarcyKirkton

I'm always surprised by how my own successes in life, whatever they are, can cause other people resentments. Is it fair? Heck no. Those folks just are eaten up with envy in life. God bless them.

I avoid discussing it too except with people who make it fun and I'm sure that they are at ease.

Need2Exerc1se

Soopatt wrote: »

I struggle with the same thing.

It is all very well to say "don't talk about it unless asked", but does that mean we are not allowed to celebrate our achievements or talk about our new lifestyle in any way when it would be natural and normal to do so? On Facebook all my friends get to go on and on about how they made a cake for their kids party or their night of drinking, but if I talk about the healthy meal I made or an exercise session I am being a jerk? Why is my life less appropriate to humble brag about than theirs?

I don't think we should be ashamed about talking out our eating habits and our lives - I feel you OP.

Talking and sharing is not the same as preaching. If I talk about the salad I made or the run I went on, I am not telling anyone else to eat a salad or go on a run, any more than someone talking about their kids party is telling me to have kids, or telling other parents they organize horrible parties.

I totally agree with this.

Francl27

I don't talk about it.

tsamples23

I appreciate the comments, It feels like I spend hours and hours every week working on this and so its a freaking huge part of my life. So I feel like sharing that part of my life with my friends/family, just like I would if I spent a couple hours at a movie or whatever I did that weekend. But I feel like just by mentioning that PR'd yesterday is somehow offensive.

DeguelloTex

Some people are going to feel put down no matter what. You can't control that. There's no reason to hide your life.

sarab920

Same here. I'd love to talk about weight loss, working out, training etc etc with my friends but it's pointless so i just wait until they ask about it. I need more fit friends lol

knelson095

Soopatt wrote: »

I struggle with the same thing.

It is all very well to say "don't talk about it unless asked", but does that mean we are not allowed to celebrate our achievements or talk about our new lifestyle in any way when it would be natural and normal to do so? On Facebook all my friends get to go on and on about how they made a cake for their kids party or their night of drinking, but if I talk about the healthy meal I made or an exercise session I am being a jerk? Why is my life less appropriate to humble brag about than theirs?

I don't think we should be ashamed about talking out our eating habits and our lives - I feel you OP.

Talking and sharing is not the same as preaching. If I talk about the salad I made or the run I went on, I am not telling anyone else to eat a salad or go on a run, any more than someone talking about their kids party is telling me to have kids, or telling other parents they organize horrible parties.

+1 I wouldn't make it if I couldn't share.

I can't say much for casual acquaintances or coworkers and whatnot, but as for family, you will find out who wants to hear. I talk about it a lot with my mom, brother, and husband, but my sister just doesn't want to hear it. I tried to help her with weight loss, bit she's still in the 'quick fix/magic pill/extreme diet' mindset, and CICO is not something she wants to consider yet. She has recently started asking me questions when we talk, so hopefully she will come around.

I don't have a lot going on other than my lifestyle changes, so I know I can go on and on about it. I told them they can tell me to shut up at anytime. And they have.

Also, I think sometimes I project my own insecurities into my interactions with people. So they might not be feeling bad about my success, I'm just worried about offending or bothering them so much that I feel like they are, or that they don't care. If that makes sense.

ninerbuff

Like religion, unless asked about it, preaching about success in weight loss to those who don't really care is more an annoyance than advice.
If someone does ask, stick to the basics: Eat less move more because it's the truth.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Kalikel

People who aren't losing weight have very little interest in what you're doing, how you're doing it, etc. if you don't bring it up, they'll probably leave it alone.

If they have different ideas, just listen to them. Respect that everyone is entitled to an opinion. Even if they're doing something ridiculous, stupid and unnecessary, let them do that without having a fight about it. You don't have to correct everyone, you know?

If they think that cutting applesauce will make them lose weight or eating lots of applesauce will give them big muscles, just let them do that. Different strokes!

jemhh

tsamples23 wrote: »

I appreciate the comments, It feels like I spend hours and hours every week working on this and so its a freaking huge part of my life. So I feel like sharing that part of my life with my friends/family, just like I would if I spent a couple hours at a movie or whatever I did that weekend. But I feel like just by mentioning that PR'd yesterday is somehow offensive.

I think it's fine to be happy about and mention hitting a goal or PR. "I hit 25 pounds lost!" or "I lifted 100 pounds!" or what have you is not anything that another reasonable person should be offended over any more than they would be offended if you said "My team won the tournament!" or "My book is being published!" I wouldn't go into detail unless asked but mentioning it is not being a jerk.

Sarajvz

Soopatt wrote: »

I struggle with the same thing.

It is all very well to say "don't talk about it unless asked", but does that mean we are not allowed to celebrate our achievements or talk about our new lifestyle in any way when it would be natural and normal to do so? On Facebook all my friends get to go on and on about how they made a cake for their kids party or their night of drinking, but if I talk about the healthy meal I made or an exercise session I am being a jerk? Why is my life less appropriate to humble brag about than theirs?

I don't think we should be ashamed about talking out our eating habits and our lives - I feel you OP.

Talking and sharing is not the same as preaching. If I talk about the salad I made or the run I went on, I am not telling anyone else to eat a salad or go on a run, any more than someone talking about their kids party is telling me to have kids, or telling other parents they organize horrible parties.

I didn't do anything to celebrate milestones, because for me losing the weight that I gained in the first place, isn't a big thing to celebrate. I actually felt pretty sheepish about the whole thing. I'm not ashamed about talking about how I eat, I just think it's kind of odd that I would. I don't care how other people eat, so why would other people care about how I eat?

I think it's just a personality thing-I'd never bring up what I'm eating or how I'm exercising, and I could care less to hear about these things from other people. When someone asks me I'll tell them what I did but otherwise it's really not that big of a deal to me. I'm in maintenance now and really, it's not that exciting