Joint bank accounts for couples?

GetSoda

We're married, of course everything is joint.

VorJoshigan

My wife and I have a joint account which we each direct deposit money into with each paycheck to pay the mortgage, bills ect.. But then we each have our own accounts for our own bills (we each of CCs) and our own personal money. We take turns buying groceries or it comes out of the joint account...it has worked out great for us. I don't hound her about what she spends her money on and she doesn't hound me.

With a baby on the way we are going to add more money to the joint account for obvious added expenses.

This. Defeat the tyranny of the OR.

Iron_Lotus

We have our own accounts but when the money goes into his account I do an email transfer and deposit it into my account and all of the bills, rent, shopping, whatever are done by me and from my account. Not really sure of the percentages but it works for us

OBXbound4me

Joint accounts in both marriages.

First time around I controlled and paid everything after she tried and bounced 2 checks. Never an issue.

This time she is very detail oriented and anal about getting stuff paid on time so she does everything. Works fine too. She makes more than I but I did in first marriage and it was never an issue either time as long as we are both working and not being lazy.

Just for me, if I am going to spend my life with someone, I should be able to share an account with them. Good luck.

MercenaryNoetic26

WE, my husband and I, like to "keep it separated". The house we live in is under his name only. I have a condo we rent out under my name. We have separate credit cards and accounts... His credit is ****ty (due) to a foreclosure on one of his properties, so it came in handy having my accounts with outstanding credit. It also helps with giving each other space. If I'm suspicious I make his *kitten* show me his bills (but I got nothing to be suspicious of 'cause we're happy).

HeidiMightyRawr

Neither. We have separate bank accounts, but all the bills get paid from those and the spare money split half and half. We did this because we used to earn quite different wages and half the rent would've meant a lot more to one person than the other (which is why we never split bills half and half)

However, it would be a TON easier for us just to get a joint bank account as at the moment some bills come out of mine, and some out of his, and I spend a lot of our paydays shuffling it about online accordingly, along with the spare we have (half into mine, half into his) If we had a joint one, bills could just be paid from that, and our personal ones could be used for spare. The only reason we don't have this is because I'm lazy and haven't got round to it yet.

NJD2885

We have a joint account, both paychecks go in to it and all bills come out of it. Everything we own is in both of our names, I manage the money but discuss everything with him. we've been married for 8 years and it is working well for us

4_Lisa

This is how I see it (my own opinion); you're either committed - together - one - married or your separate. And that means EVERYTHING. If you are committed and IN the relationship you shouldn't hold anything back, if you are....you aren't 100% committed. We agree on what we're spending money on and if I go out and buy something he didn't "budget", yeah he may jump up and down for a minute, but he gets over it, as do I when he does it. It's give and take.

I've been married going on 24 years and my husband and I share EVERYTHING; we have NO secrets....seriously.

I totally agree with this. Been with my hubby for 20 years, you are either all in, or you're not. We do have our own savings accounts, but those are basically just whatevers left at the end of our month. It has allowed me to save a little to surprise him with a vacation 2 years ago, and hopefully another next year.

elvensnow

Joint account full-stop.

Honestly I can't imagine being in a relationship where you wouldn't share 100% of finances. I guess maybe if one of you had a spending problem... but then I wouldn't be with someone like that, or I would help them fix it.

I guess I am different though too because for a while I was the only one making wages (together since high school and I got a job right out of college while he did not). And it didn't bother me in the least to pay everything. Now that he has a job, it's just more money for us to spend/save. I don't even think of it as his money vs my money. To me that seems unhealthy. But I guess everyone has their ways, and if it makes your relationship WORK then that's what you should do.

_noob_

all our money is married.

4_Lisa

I don't even think of it as his money vs my money.

My hubby and I always joke that since he was the bread winner while I was home with the kids, his money is our 'expense' money, and my money is the 'play' money. Since we comfortably live on his wages alone.

branson101

A friend of my mother's learned the hard way. SHe and her husband only had joint bank accounts. BUT the house and cars were exclusively in his name. Right before he left her he transfer the cars and home into his girlfriend's name and cleaned out the bank account. She was left broke and homeless. Upshot....everyone should have their own set of finances along with a joint account.

tomomatic

We used to keep separate accounts because our jobs required us to do reimbursements for travel and expenses keeping that tracked was hard enough. But then we had the mortgage and kids and left that job. Our lives and finances just became more and more intertwined. It was a hassle to always be moving funds all the time. It wasn't about control, freedom or anything like that. It was about working together as a team. It just made sense to join the accounts. We still have different investment accounts because we don't agree on the same investment strategies... but that's money we won't touch for a long time anyways. Good luck.

MercenaryNoetic26

My hubby and I have separate bank accounts. It's easier that way. Nobody to nag you about spending money on this or that. We take turns paying whatever bill is due and if one of us needs money we just hand it over. It's worked out great.

Exactly! There's no nagging! My husband pays most of the bills... okay, well all of them anyway. WTF do I care if we have joint accounts? I got it made. Sometimes I have more money than him and he doesn't tell me he's struggling. I told his *kitten* he better ask me for money before he asks his mom (which I can't stand, btw).

You don't have to ****ing share bank accounts to be committed. That is such backwards thinking. LMAO. That's something my mom would say and she's like 60yrs old...haha! And she's oldschool.

I offer to pay bills every now and then to help out and take him out to dinner with MY own money to show him my appreciation. It means that much more to him.

kts3639

I have had 2 long term relationships (a 4 year relationship and now my marriage), and have/had joint accounts for both. I don't work now, since we've had kids, but even when I did work, we had a joint account. I figure it's not his or my money, it's ours.

mistyblu13

bf and I have separate accts- he pays mortgage and his own personal bills- I pay groceries, utilities and my own bills and then we split the fun stuff:) We are building a house mostly of cash together and its whatever we each can dump into it from each check -seems to be working for us:)

indyducks

I was married for 14 years, and we had a joint checking account the entire time. She was a SAHM, so I made most of the money. She did make some money on the side from various odd jobs (babysitting, selling Mary Kay, etc.). I thought this worked wonderfully, but found out later that she had been "embezzling" to the tune of about $25,000 over a couple of years to finance her and her boyfriend's fun. I know I should have probably scrutinized more heavily, but I trusted her when she told me she took out $100 cash to do things for her or the kids......

If I ever get in another long term relationship, we will have a joint account for paying shared expenses, and have our own accounts separately. I learned the hard way, and will never ever ever turn over full access and control of my finances again.

rosellasweet

This is how I see it (my own opinion); you're either committed - together - one - married or your separate. And that means EVERYTHING. If you are committed and IN the relationship you shouldn't hold anything back, if you are....you aren't 100% committed. We agree on what we're spending money on and if I go out and buy something he didn't "budget", yeah he may jump up and down for a minute, but he gets over it, as do I when he does it. It's give and take.

I've been married going on 24 years and my husband and I share EVERYTHING; we have NO secrets....seriously.

My sister is on her 3rd marriage; this one isn't that stable and they have separate bank accounts, her husband is always giving his son from a previous marriage money (and he buys drugs with it and he doesn't work and he's in his late 20s...a loser, sorry and he's enabling him).....not a good situation. They have their "own' bills they are responsible for paying.

My parents used to have separate accounts...they got divorced; they are now back together....they no longer have separate accounts. I'm hoping that means they are not trying to "hide" things from one another any more.

Just a couple of examples and....my opinion.

I'm glad you added that this is your opinion and a few examples of people you know.

My husband and I have been together for almost 9 years and married for 2 of those. We've never merged bank accounts. If he overdraws his account, I happily hand him money and vice versa. We've maybe had a fight or two about money but I really can't remember. But even people with joint accounts have fights about money. He pays all the rent and I pay my student loans, credit cards, and car payments. I buy the groceries too and I can tell you that the rent is more than all of my bills combined. Everything that is mine is his. He used to ask if he could "borrow" the car, but I always gave him funny looks and say, "It's your car too! Why would you ask to drive your car?" Anyway, if you're assigning the strength of your relationship to whether or not you join your money (which is something mankind created and assigned value to) then you're missing something.

My parents were what many people think is the "typical" couple. Met in high school, got married, my Dad went into the Air Force, Mom stayed at home and took care of us, and then they divorced. Same bank accounts and everything. But they had deep seated issues that no amount of secret sharing or joint checking could fix.

OP, do whatever works for you and your family! Everybody's different and one of my motto's is whatever floats your boat

emergencytennis

A friend of my mother's learned the hard way. SHe and her husband only had joint bank accounts. BUT the house and cars were exclusively in his name. Right before he left her he transfer the cars and home into his girlfriend's name and cleaned out the bank account. She was left broke and homeless. Upshot....everyone should have their own set of finances along with a joint account.

You have hit upon the point of the whole thread.


Do you trust your spouse?


If you do, and they are trustworthy, then yay do what you want. Look for all of those tax breaks you can.


If you do, and they are a dog, then noooo, keep separate accounts. Except, you have trusted them and they have cleaned out your accounts. Damn.


If you don't trust your spouse, then keep your own accounts, simples. Not sure you should have married someone you don't trust with your bucks, but each to their own.

mamosh81

boyfriend and i have one account together since we been together for 1 year but thats cuz money was never an issue with us we both live by the "whats mine is dine" style