Joint bank accounts for couples?

traceytwink

We have a joint account which all out money goes into but I do have my own account which is money I put by for the tax man so I guess that doesn't count cos it's not really my money ????

fannyfrost

I am married for 19 years and we put our accounts together when we got married. It helped us budget the money and for a long time DH made much more than I did. We broke even a couple years ago. But for us it has worked. There were times he has been a pain in the butt when money was tight. Like the time he told me I was spending too much money on groceries and he went to Costco and spent $300 2 days later, I said "that doesn't go against my grocery bill" and he said "but I bought dinners" my answer "what do you think I buy?" Other than having to put him in his place like that its all been good.

Right before Christmas one year he told me I spend way more money than him. I said "OK so when the kid needs clothes you can take her and you can buy all the Christmas gifts for your family" that shut him up fast.

nightengale7

We have joint checking and savings. Both me and my hubby are impulse buyers, but knowing that we can see each other's spending at any time helps keep us in line. I am considering opening "fun money" accounts once we have our credit cards paid off so that we can buy extras and gifts without worrying about what each other thinks, but it would be a very small portion of our income that would go into those accounts.

Lovdiamnd

Don't join them unless you are married is my opinion. Dave Ramsey has the best advice on finances.

chubbard9

My boyfriend and I(been together 2+ years), have a joint account, but only ended up getting it because he had checks he couldn't cash because he didn't have an account at the time, and I just added him to mine so that he was able to get his money... But, we now use the account routinely, and found out that things work out better for us with the joint account-we save more money(it seems) because we are aware of what we have in total and are trying to move out of this apartment... I think joint-accounts work easier, plus we're both aware of how much each of us have put into it, so if there's any issue/argument, we know what's going on... And it's not like "his money" "my money" it's "our money" so we don't have to be like "well, i paid for this" - there's no need to argue about anything.

Faery_Dust

We are married, living together and all the main expenses are handled by our joint account.
We have main joint account and a savings account.
For a long time this was it. It worked well, except I always felt a teeny weeny but guilty when I splurged on myself. (he never made me feel like this...I just had trouble spending "our" money on "me")
So we opened "fun" accounts for both of us. We put a set amount in the accounts each paycheck and that is our splurge money. Now I can buy shoes without guilt! Since it is specifically for fun stuff. YAY
As for bills, groceries etc, we talk about it together and plan each week. Money has never been an issue with us, even when we were totally broke.

Thanks everyone for your views on it.

I think I feel a little like this person mentioned. If it's my money then I don't have any trouble spending it on something I want, I work hard for my money. But if it's our money, I will probably feel guilty.

I earn more than him so will probably go with the % of salary in to a shared account to cover all bills and expenses, and then each of us get to keep so much money at the end of the month for spending or saving, whatever we want to do with it.

amyk0202

We have a joint account. When we first started dating, my husband just started giving me his paychecks because he was so bad about bouncing things. Once we moved in together, we opened a joint account & it's been that way for over 20 years now. I think it would be exhausting to have separate accounts. A friend of mine had her finances all separate from her husband. She was always keeping track of how much she spent on groceries or on the kids & saying that her husband owed her for this or that. I would hate that. Anyway, my husband makes more than me & probably always will since I quit my real job to take care of the kids. He works for a public school system & we have 4 kids--there is never any "extra" money for us to fight about :happy: . We have what we need & we talk about what we want to accomplish & we don't make any large purchases without looking at our budget spreadsheet first.

Athena53

I earn more than him so will probably go with the % of salary in to a shared account to cover all bills and expenses, and then each of us get to keep so much money at the end of the month for spending or saving, whatever we want to do with it.

Really, either system works if you're both on the same page financially. If you have very different savings/spending philosophies, neither will work!

All of my first husband's discretionary income went to stuff- mostly nice things for himself. If he had any credit card limits left, hey, that was money he could spend. I was a saver, and willing to forego a lot in exchange for the security of having a financial cushion. Well, if the house needed a new roof, or the water heater died, guess where the money came from.

Current DH and I have a similar system but it's worked superbly. He has modest tastes and we tend to agree on the big things (do we need new mattresses, where should we go on vacation). I have my extravagances but I've never walked in the door with a $1,000 bracelet that he didn't know I was getting. I tell him I'm thinking of spending about $X on myself for whatever and his answer is always "Good". He knows I'm not raiding the retirement accounts or neglecting the bills and have figured out how to pay for it.

kf4vkp

When I was married, it was joint account that all money went into, bills, gas and groceries were accounted for and remainder was either split for fun money, or saved for something we both wanted... we discussed our money. If it was split and one of us wanted to save our fun money, we had separate accounts that could go into.

Alex_is_Hawks

i have done the joint account thing....i hated it....however it's practical...

the pit of joint accounts is that after a while everyone sees the balance left over as theirs....you'll go to spend it and it's gone...they will go to spend it and it's gone...

it was resentful and stressful...

I am in a relationship that is slowly moving into long term and joint...we will probably have a joint account for common things....mortgage, bills etc...but we will both maintain a private account for our personal spending....

this I think is the perfect compromise.

my paycheque will come into mine and I will transfer funds over...his into his...and the same...

we both know what each other makes...we are both salary....(I make more, I also have a daughter and he does not so he in theory makes "more")

so there is no risk of hiding money or hoarding....we are also two responsible adults that pay bills first and us second...

ninjakitty419

Ive been married 5 years and we have seperate bank accounts. We each pay for designated things. I'm not sure that this is the best way for us, but it is how it is, and I doubt he would ever considered having a joint one. Sometimes it is a bit irritating when something out of the ordinary comes up how to decide who pays for it, or figuring out "I paid for daycare so you have to pay for the formula and diapers" etc. I also dislike the fact that he is in charge of buying the food, which means he buys what HE wants and is willing to spend money on rather than what I want, so if I want to buy healthy things for myself, I dip into my budget for gas, or daycare, or whatever. I personally think it would be easier FOR US to have them together, but we dont, and probably never will, and it works mostly.

SoViLicious

The only reason I have a joint account is because I am married to him, also it makes it easier for me to embezzle his money into my secret hair weave account.

EatClean_WashUrNuts

It comes to mindset of the union, not of the money for which is in.

You are either completely one, or not.

kms1320

Yes, when married. No, when dating.

Timshel_

Married and definitely joint finances.

Athena53

the pitfall of joint accounts is that after a while everyone sees the balance left over as theirs....you'll go to spend it and it's gone...they will go to spend it and it's gone...

it was resentful and stressful...

Yeah, that would drive me crazy! As I said, I'm a control freak. Even as sensible as DH is, I'd have a hard time sharing an account with him for just that reason.

labeachgirl

I think this is more than just a simplistic problem. You need to know the law in your state. In mine, if I was married and my spouse did something that would render a lawsuit being pursued against him, then, in order to gain restitution, anything that had his name on it could be attached to settle the debt. That is why here it is so important to keep assests separate: houses, cars, bank accts, 401Ks etc. Don't just do something because you're married and you think everything about you should be joint. Make an informed decision to protect your assets for you and your family.

401(k)s cannot be attached to debts except for a government debt.

LMT2012

It comes to mindset of the union, not of the money for which is in.

You are either completely one, or not.

nic_ci

Separate accounts...I've been married for 15 years...we split 5 years ago because we always fought about money...we now have separate accounts and split the bills...we have never been happier!!!

LMT2012

It comes to mindset of the union, not of the money for which is in.

You are either completely one, or not.

Not. I think even married people should have a few privacies. Joint account is practical for house stuff, but each should have a separate "mad" money account.

QueenE_

Yes we do.

Maribel_1986

Living together/engaged ... separate accounts, but he wants to have an account together once we are married and still have our own too