Gloom, despair, and agony on me

Sabine_Stroehm

Now that song is in my head.

lthames0810

First...sarcastic thanks for getting that song stuck in my head.

But seriously...I think you're looking at this big mountain and the long twisty trail ahead of you. It's intimidating and looks hopeless.

Maybe, just a suggestion: Log every thing you normally eat now without trying to lose weight. Then figure out how much you have to cut down to get into a weight losing mode. It may not be as bad as you expect and the obvious places to cut calories may become apparent to you.

Then take one day and plan to cut something out...you don't have to cut drastically...maybe a calorie laden coffee or something. Just for that one day, eat according to that plan. Then the next day, do it again. Then the next day...

Once you get some success under your belt (success being defined as sticking to that day's plan) you may feel better about this. Over time you can adjust your food intake further as needed in baby steps and maybe add a little exercise. Don't look ahead too far. Be kind to yourself.

fatgottago

Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »

Now that song is in my head.

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IKR

fatgottago

@lthames0810 awe thanks. I already feel better! Its been a rough year. I mean rough. I have a lot of stress that is really not my stress but my family tends to make me stressed. I can't control everything and everyone... I need to worry about myself more! Thanks everyone.

wilsoncl6

It might also help to get some counseling as it seems that your issues with weight, health and fitness in general may be a learned thing. You have to change your thought processes if you want to change your body to fit what you want to achieve. Both have to happen or you're going to end up yo-yoing like that the rest of your life. You have to commit to a certain lifestyle and make it you norm, not just focus on it as a temporary fix to achieve a certain goal. Everybody here can give you advice on what you should do, but only you know what you're capable of. Just my two cents. Seems like you need to work on the mental as well as the physical. Coming here for support is a good step but you might need a little more help than that.

totaldetermination

how about a treadmill in front of the tv ? go whatever speed you can and build up from there.

riffraff2112

need to start with a first step. Don't expect huge payoffs in a few weeks either. Just be consistent and think of how you will look in the future. It wasn't until I saw the new me in my mind that I knew I was going to get there.
I would definitely recommend using MFP, and keeping up with the community, You will learn a lot and logging will become pretty easy once you get into the habit. Get control of your eating, and more importantly snacking and you will definitely see some results.
You don't have to radically change your life, or start running 3 hours a day. Just get a grip on your intake and good things will happen.

lthames0810

fatgottago wrote: »

Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »

Now that song is in my head.

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IKR

I had to sing the Gilligan's Island theme song to blast it out of there, but now I'm stuck on that.

42firm03

It took me medicating the depression I wouldn't admit I had to finally be able to tackle my weight. I'm middle aged and lost a lot of time to that pride. Brilliant choice, eh?

You have to like yourself to care for yourself. When you are depressed this is near impossible.

Take care of yourself!

bwogilvie

The thing about wanting to lose weight is that it is a frustratingly distant goal. It took me 2 years to lose 65 pounds. What I found helpful was to think about weight loss as a desired outcome, but to make my goals much more immediate: stay active, log exercise calories accurately (which usually means fewer than machines or MFP's database), log my food as accurately as possible (with a food scale), and maintain a consistent calorie deficit every week.

Those were things that I could track in the here and now, whereas weight loss is more elusive. (A website like TrendWeight.com can help identify whether you're actually losing, despite fluctuations, but it's still not perfect.) If, at the end of every month, my results weren't matching my expectations, I reviewed how well I was doing and adjusted accordingly. (For instance, I initially set my activity level to "moderately active," but my logs suggested that "sedentary" was more accurate.) Losing 47 pounds in the first year was a consequence of sticking to those measurable goals and adjusting them based on results.

Exercising more and eating a good diet also both have positive effects on your health and mood, even if you don't lose weight.

I would recommend that you read The Diet Fix, by Dr. Yoni Freedhoff. (If your public library doesn't have it, ask them to order it.) It has a "ten-day reset," which is a bit gimmicky, but the ideas are good even if you don't do them over 10 continuous days. Freedhoff emphasizes that for your lifestyle change to succeed, you have to find it satisfying; if you deprive yourself, eventually you'll give up. But he also points out that when you have a treat, you can ask yourself how much you need to be satisfied, and eat only that.

He also makes the same point about exercise, with this mantra: "Some is good. More is better. Everything counts."

EmmieBaby

I hear ya sister. I've been gaining/losing the same 10lbs for a while

I do well, eat well, workout...the lbs drop and I feel fantastic
then something happens (I don't even know what the trigger is yet)
I stop working out, I eat crap, I gain weight, I feel like junk
rinse, repeat

I found what motivates me is to remind myself everyday why I am doing this. whether its looking at an old picture of me, telling myself one thing I love about me, finding a motivational quote/picture.

feel free to add me if you want someone who will push you (and promise you will do the same to me)

bluestarlight19

Could you try something like getting a fitbit? My husband just got me a fitbit charge HR for an early christmas present and I'm already in love with it.

I am like you, been over weight my whole life, overweight parents, docs never said anything, someday I'll lose the weight. In my 20s, I actually did and felt great. But then I had kids and a husband and gained it all back up to 248lbs, put the last 10lbs on after my dad died 2 years ago. He had everything under the sun, heart disease, COPD, diabetes. He was confined to the house mostly on oxygen for the last 3 years of his life and it really took its toll on all of us to see him like that. But even that and seeing it kill him wasn't enough to make me lose weight. Kept on with "oh I'll lose it, when things calm down". With kids, things never calm down. Then I started having vision problems. Weird whooshing in my ears, hmmm...thought I was anemic and it turned out I was. But then I developed a blind spot in one eye. Went to the eye doctor. Diagnosed with intercranial hypertension. The most effective cure: lose weight...or go blind. Guess which one I picked.

However its still hard and now I see 3 different doctors and it still doesn't seem real sometimes. I've lose 23lbs this year since then and have stalled out since september. My husband gave me my present early because he know how important this is to me and us that I stay healthy. They are expensive, but maybe it could give you some motivation and be a guide to get started.

angelexperiment

I was exactly in that frame of mind when I was at that point and weight! I made a goal I would lose something (no number) from my birthday to next and walk every single day.

I set the goal of completing a 5k (this helped me stay motivated) and I did a c25k a cool glory one and ran the whole thing! I was by then in my 230s.

I attempted to walk everyday but that I didn't succeed I worked out in any capacity I could (mowing lawn, intense cleaning etc) cleaning organization pulled me out of a few depressing times.

I started to feel better, I started to feel pride in what I look like, I started to care! So I changed my diet and the weight finally start coming off real nice! I learned about counting calories, portions, servings and weighing my food on a digital scale.

So far I'm at almost 50lbs down 20 was pre mfp. My clothes are loose and I can't believe the body I have now! Or what I can do now I couldn't have! And I met my birthday goal. Now I'm so close to 200 I just can't wait!

But I've had to address my relationship with food and it's still a struggle for me as I too like to relax w food or stress boredom or feelings eat.

fatgottago

@bluestarlight19 That is great. 23 pounds!!!!! I think I would like a fitbit! Maybe I will buy it for myself for Christmas, heck this Christmas I will give myself a gift ...losing 10 pounds. There folks that is my goal. Lose 10 pounds by Christmas!!!!!!!! That is doable.

urloved33

it happens one day at a time. do not look at the future...get off the scale and stop looking back today...today walk for 1/2 at a brisk pace, before you go drink a glass of wAter...and when you are done drink a glass of water. Start w that..its easier than you think.

lemurcat12

fatgottago wrote: »

You are right! I get bummed out and just give up within a week. I started today. I know that being lonely and eating late at night is the culprit. Maybe I can stop that and start exercising?

You have to believe you can do it, and come to an understanding of where your calories are coming from. It's not as hard as you are currently thinking -- so many people see it as all or nothing and think it's going to require this drastic horrible unpleasant change.

I'd recommend starting some kind of exercise, like walking, which would help with stress too, and start logging your food. After a week look back at your diet and you will likely see some easy ways to change things up and cut calories without it being too difficult.

Also, realize you can start with baby steps and add more things over time. One of the best things I did when I started back in January 2014 (I lost 95 lbs, from 220 to 125) was not going too extreme -- in the past I'd wanted to be perfect and quit when I wasn't, I'd put unreasonable expectations on myself, especially for exercise, and then found it miserable and not continued. This time I decided to walk as much as possible and then to add in 30 mins of exercise 3 times a week (stationary bike or swimming, since it was winter) and then moved up as I felt ready. I ended up enjoying it.

(The calories are most important, but getting into healthy habits and thinking of it as a positive path toward fitness can help with motivation -- it's not just about disliking your body but doing what you can to improve your overall health.)

You can do it!

incisron

fatgottago wrote: »

Yea I know its that Hee Haw song. This is how I feel today. I have tried...let me rephrase that... I have thought about losing weight for 30 years. Literally. I think about it ever night and every morning but I never do anything about it. What is it going to take to wake my lazy butt up and actually start really caring about losing weight? I am miserable! Absolutely miserable! I am so unhappy with myself which in turns makes me unhappy with others. I think one time 10 years ago I managed to lose weight with weight watchers. Since then I have been losing and gaining the same 5 pounds over and over and over.

So this brings to right here and now. I am almost 250 pounds. I have NEVER reached 250 but I am like right there at it. OMG in my mind I don't look that big, but I seen a picture that was posted on facebook and I was in the background. I almost fell out of my chair. I had no idea I was that big! it was so depressing. Here is the thing, if I wanted to change I would. So why can't I change? Why do I eat my emotions? I say I don't eat that much but I must be or how else would I really get to almost 250 pounds?

I am at the point where I have to *kitten* or get off the pot. I just found out my Dad has another bad spot on his foot from diabetes. It is because he hasn't taken care of himself. They may have to cut it off. His other big toe is gone. My Mom is not healthy either and she is only 57. I don't want this! I want to be healthy for my kids and grandson.

SO that is my question.... HOW come I can't stick with it??????? What is wrong with me? Am I just a quitter, destine to be fat the rest of my life? I hate hearing that I am a disgusting fat *kitten*. That is what someone called me this morning. After seeing that picture...I am. The profile pics are all lies... its just the angle the picture was taken in.

I need help..... yep.

You're really pretty and you're not disgusting.

MacHaloC

I hear you! I was nearly 250 at my breaking point. I lost my dad unexpectedly at age 57. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I wasn't mentally ready to lose the weight. If someone had told me that I would have thought they were crazy. But they would have been right.I got scared, then I got mad. That led me to happier and healthier. One day I saw my dad's face in the mirror instead of mine. That terrified me. I asked friends about buying an cardio machine for my house. All but 1 told me I wouldn't use it. That made me mad. So I decided to prove to them and myself that I could do this! Every pound lost led to more motivation. I am not done yet, and really I never will be because this is a lifestyle change. But 70 lbs later, I know I can do this. I know, when you are good and truly ready, you can do it too. Don't give up! You are worth so much more!

Jmgkamp

I think most people here can identify with you and where you're at currently. I know I can. I'm 5'2" and in March I weighed myself under duress and I was 219 lbs. I almost died. I had NO IDEA I was that heavy, I avoided mirrors and pictures like the plague.

I finally figured I'd give it a shot. Not dieting. Just counting calories. In my mind there was a huge distinction. For whatever reason I wanted the "right" to eat whatever I wanted as long as I watched calories. Even cheesecake. For some reason I used cheesecake as something I could eat (I didn't, but damnit... I could have!).

After 4 weeks I added exercise. First it was walking along to these YouTube walking videos I found. Seriously. I walked in my house, not even outside. I gradually added bike rides and finally the YMCA.

Now, it's 8 1/2 months later and I'm ~ 75 lbs down. A lot, I know. I'm quite strict with my calories and I exercise practically every day. Maybe I've missed 10 days total? I love it. I either do a fun class or I watch TV on my tablet while running. Only time I can watch MY tv and not kids shows.

I have "cheated" though I don't consider anything cheating. But I've eaten outside of my calories, however I plan in advance or make it up via exercise or deficits over the next few days.

I weigh myself every day and have grown accustomed to crazy swings. I ate tons of dark chocolate milky ways on Halloween and I "gained" 9 pounds. NINE POUNDS. They were gone in a week, but I could've thrown in the towel except I've seen spikes before - though not that much. That's gotta be some sort of record:

You CAN do this. So go for it. You've got time. There's no rush. And there's no finish line. Just do it.

azulvioleta6

You might benefit from some counseling to figure out these issues.

The only advice that I can offer is to start setting SMALL goals and rewarding yourself to help establish some better habits.