Helping parents lose weight

SunnyOutlook08

Hi all, I really want to help my parents lose weight. They belong to a weight loss group but it's more like a social gathering for them. They also see a nutritionist but I don't think it's helping them any. They eat out a lot and don't know how to cook so they eat a lot of processed foods. They've read books on healthy eating, especially my dad who has diabetes, but they never get motivated enough to make any major changes. It's like they're interested in being healthy but enjoy the convenience of eating out and being social more.
Any suggestions on how I can help them eat healthier and change their lifestyle? I thought about hiring a personal chef who can teach them how to cook. I also thought about ordering nutisystem for them but not sure they'd use it. Any suggestions welcome. Ty.

lynn_glenmont

If they haven't asked for your help, any assistance you offer is not likely to be acted on. Learning to cook, for instance, is a pretty big commitment to expect from someone if they haven't expressed an interest in doing so, especially from someone who has been not cooking for decades of adult life.

Have you lost weight yourself? (You may never have needed to; I'm trying not to make any assumptions here.) If you have, you could say, "Mom, Dad, I hear you talking about losing weight. Are you interested in hearing how I have done it?" If you haven't, you could say, "Mom, Dad, I hear you talking about losing weight. I found this website, MyFitnessPal, that has a good tool for tracking your calories and a really active user community that might be able to give you helpful advice if you want it."

All that's required for weight loss is to consume fewer calories than your body uses, so it's possible to lose weight eating out and eating processed foods.

Lucille4444

It may be that they have in fact made an informed choice, and they are happy the way they are, and are not as you described, motivated enough to change. However, this is a good site and you are here, it certainly would be ok to invite them here.

LastingChanges

Print out/write out very simple recipes for them to make. Basic things, even for salads write out what to put in it. Make a weekly meal plan for them that includes these recipes and what type of snacks they should have. If it is all laid out in front of them, might be easier to follow.

They can still go out to eat sometimes but maybe point out to them what are the healthier/less calorie items in their favorite restaurants.

I also hate to cook, what helps me is to cook mostly everything in one day for the entire week.

pstegman888

Do you cook, or can you take a few lessons (even from a friend if no cooking classes are available)? Maybe you could cook a meal for them occasionally and thus show them that healthy low-cal meals can be easy and delicious. If they really like the social aspect of eating out, it will be a challenge to get them to change that. But maybe you can help them research some better choices at their favorite restaurants. Or if they were interested in having their friends over once or twice a month instead of going out, your idea of a personal chef/caterer to prepare a healthy choice may work. Maybe it would spur them to get involved in food preparation.

rainbowbow

I don't know the area you're in, but there are usually always fun couples or individual cooking classes on the weekend. From my experience, it's usually the organizations that offer classes for learning other hobbies like knitting, painting, sculpting, etc.

It might actually be a nice social experience for them or a fun couples thing to do together as well.

If you can't find any in your area, i suggest you guys try watching something together and trying to recreate the recipes.

My suggestions: Watch Good Eats.
With 14 seasons he has made over 600 dishes. He is informal and tells you how things work, why things work, how to prepare, cook, pick cooking hardware for the job, etc. It's incredibly informative and fun to try. Something like "Okay, each week we'll watch a new episode and create the dish"

Getting interested in food is amazing because you start to actually care about what you're eating. You no longer want to go out and order fast food because you can make something yourself, feel pride, and it tastes better and is usually cheaper!


They also have to want to change. My suggestion would definitely be to suggest MFP and teaching them, again, about calories, macro and micro nutrients, how things work, etc.

EDUCATION is the most important thing for long lasting health.

Encourage them to find a hobby or something that they can do and be active. Like maybe they ride a bike, or go hiking together, or just go on walks. Anything to get them moving.

Best of luck!

Also, apparently, there's a guy on youtube (where you can find all of the good eats episodes) called AdamAndAlton where he cooks the dishes learned in episodes. pretty cool.

LastingChanges

rainbowbow wrote: »

I don't know the area you're in, but there are usually always fun couples or individual cooking classes on the weekend. From my experience, it's usually the organizations that offer classes for learning other hobbies like knitting, painting, sculpting, etc.

It might actually be a nice social experience for them or a fun couples thing to do together as well.

If you can't find any in your area, i suggest you guys try watching something together and trying to recreate the recipes.

My suggestions: Watch Good Eats.
With 14 seasons he has made over 600 dishes. He is informal and tells you how things work, why things work, how to prepare, cook, pick cooking hardware for the job, etc. It's incredibly informative and fun to try. Something like "Okay, each week we'll watch a new episode and create the dish"

Getting interested in food is amazing because you start to actually care about what you're eating. You no longer want to go out and order fast food because you can make something yourself, feel pride, and it tastes better and is usually cheaper!


They also have to want to change. My suggestion would definitely be to suggest MFP and teaching them, again, about calories, macro and micro nutrients, how things work, etc.

EDUCATION is the most important thing for long lasting health.

Encourage them to find a hobby or something that they can do and be active. Like maybe they ride a bike, or go hiking together, or just go on walks. Anything to get them moving.

Best of luck!

Also, apparently, there's a guy on youtube (where you can find all of the good eats episodes) called AdamAndAlton where he cooks the dishes learned in episodes. pretty cool.

great show, I wish it never ended

Lounmoun

SunnyOutlook08 wrote: »

Hi all, I really want to help my parents lose weight. They belong to a weight loss group but it's more like a social gathering for them. They also see a nutritionist but I don't think it's helping them any. They eat out a lot and don't know how to cook so they eat a lot of processed foods. They've read books on healthy eating, especially my dad who has diabetes, but they never get motivated enough to make any major changes. It's like they're interested in being healthy but enjoy the convenience of eating out and being social more.
Any suggestions on how I can help them eat healthier and change their lifestyle? I thought about hiring a personal chef who can teach them how to cook. I also thought about ordering nutisystem for them but not sure they'd use it. Any suggestions welcome. Ty.

First- Do they really want to lose weight? Sounds like they have had help but aren't doing anything with it. You can't help if they don't really want it.
Second- They don't want to learn to cook. They are grown ups. They can eat what they like as long as they eat the right calories for them. Help them figure out how many calories they need and what they can eat at their favorite restaurants that fits their goals.
Third- Don't spend a bunch of money. Get them set up with MFP and show them how to use the food diary tool.

Liftng4Lis

Introduce them to MFP and let them go about their business.

scolaris

You can't help them. They have to help themselves. Encourage them to carry good life insurance.

jgnatca

My daughter was unhappy with my weight loss decisions for a long time so I stopped talking to her about it. She is proud of me NOW. I think she worries too much about toxins. I try not to tease her too much about it.

Frankly the only support I've appreciated from her is her expressions of pride that I have come so far. It was a highlight this year when she joined me on a fun run.

I suggest you limit yourself to compliments when your parents make healthier choices. Parents are smarter than they may appear.

That being said I would encourage any diabetic to go for regular testing, to keep this "silent killer" at bay.

tomatoey

Not Nutrisystem. I get why you want to try that, but it's not going to help them long-term or even in the very short term, like past 2 meals. (and although it's been OMG over 25 years since I tried it [fyi I was a young teenager. A *normal weight* teenager!] the food pouches were nasty. If it's the same, they'll probably just get what they usually get instead because that probably tastes better) .

Other than that, whatever they get excited about, if it's not totally wacky, support it. They have to take a lead on it, can't just come from you. In my opinion, "totally wacky" would be:

- a very low calorie diet (less than 1200 calories by my definition) without supervision or medical reason
- food like Nutrisystem. Or only shakes and ice 3x a day
- diets that veer WAY WAY WAY off from whatever your country's food guide says for food content - I'm talking stuff like fruitarianism

But if they want to go for vegan or low carb or paleo or gluten free or candida diet or whatever, doesn't matter, in my opinion, as long as most nutrients are hit and it's not too low-cal and they're into it.

Even something like 21 day fix is fine imo if it helps them get a grip on portions and eating some veg and fruit and they feel like paying the money.

If I were to pick a program for people who needed a lot of hand holding, it'd be Weight Watchers. Balanced diet, established system, good results for people, social support, etc.

MFP would be ideal, but it's for self-directed people. I don't think that *only* very self-directed people deserve to lose weight and be healthy. WW is fine.

(You can talk them into calorie counting later, this could be an encouraging start.)

tomatoey

Or if they maybe want to take a cooking class, that'd be a good thing.

RodaRose

Since they eat out a lot, show them how to read online nutritional information so that they can make informed choices.

LKArgh

You cannot help them. You can add stress to your relationship with them and fight with them. But you cannot help them.

tomatoey

RodaRose wrote: »

Since they eat out a lot, show them how to read online nutritional information so that they can make informed choices.

Or, what RodaRose says

soapsandropes

It is very hard for kids to tell their parents anything. If they are not motivated you aren't going to be able to get them to do anything. Model good behaviors, maybe find a healthy restaurant and take them out to lunch, or go over to their place to cook a cook meal for them and have them help you. Encourage their good behaviors. Maybe see if there are any fitness groups that they can join to get their social fix without the food component (walking groups, local rec center).

janejellyroll

catscats222 wrote: »

buy them this book:
The Mayo Clinic Healthy Diet Recipe Book
https://store.mayoclinic.com/products/bookDetails.cfm?mpid=135
this plan also ties in to low sodium (dash diet), anti-cancer diet, and low cholesterol diets.

I think unless they've specifically asked for it, giving someone a diet book as a gift can be a high risk move, one that could place a strain on the relationship.

jgnatca

Talk about high risk move; when I was a kid dad bought mom a set of pots for Christmas. There'd been words previous about her cooking skills, which weren't great. That was one chilly Christmas day, let me tell you.

janejellyroll

jgnatca wrote: »

Talk about high risk move; when I was a kid dad bought mom a set of pots for Christmas. There'd been words previous about her cooking skills, which weren't great. That was one chilly Christmas day, let me tell you.

I have a co-worker who got his wife sessions with a physical trainer for Christmas. His rationale was that she had briefly expressed, earlier in the year, that she was thinking about taking up weight lifting. He had shared with some of us that he was giving her the sessions and the women all warned him against it. He was positive she'd be thrilled. She wasn't.