Helping parents lose weight
SunnyOutlook08
Posts: 2 Member
Hi all, I really want to help my parents lose weight. They belong to a weight loss group but it's more like a social gathering for them. They also see a nutritionist but I don't think it's helping them any. They eat out a lot and don't know how to cook so they eat a lot of processed foods. They've read books on healthy eating, especially my dad who has diabetes, but they never get motivated enough to make any major changes. It's like they're interested in being healthy but enjoy the convenience of eating out and being social more.
Any suggestions on how I can help them eat healthier and change their lifestyle? I thought about hiring a personal chef who can teach them how to cook. I also thought about ordering nutisystem for them but not sure they'd use it. Any suggestions welcome. Ty.
Any suggestions on how I can help them eat healthier and change their lifestyle? I thought about hiring a personal chef who can teach them how to cook. I also thought about ordering nutisystem for them but not sure they'd use it. Any suggestions welcome. Ty.
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Replies
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If they haven't asked for your help, any assistance you offer is not likely to be acted on. Learning to cook, for instance, is a pretty big commitment to expect from someone if they haven't expressed an interest in doing so, especially from someone who has been not cooking for decades of adult life.
Have you lost weight yourself? (You may never have needed to; I'm trying not to make any assumptions here.) If you have, you could say, "Mom, Dad, I hear you talking about losing weight. Are you interested in hearing how I have done it?" If you haven't, you could say, "Mom, Dad, I hear you talking about losing weight. I found this website, MyFitnessPal, that has a good tool for tracking your calories and a really active user community that might be able to give you helpful advice if you want it."
All that's required for weight loss is to consume fewer calories than your body uses, so it's possible to lose weight eating out and eating processed foods.0 -
It may be that they have in fact made an informed choice, and they are happy the way they are, and are not as you described, motivated enough to change. However, this is a good site and you are here, it certainly would be ok to invite them here.0
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Print out/write out very simple recipes for them to make. Basic things, even for salads write out what to put in it. Make a weekly meal plan for them that includes these recipes and what type of snacks they should have. If it is all laid out in front of them, might be easier to follow.
They can still go out to eat sometimes but maybe point out to them what are the healthier/less calorie items in their favorite restaurants.
I also hate to cook, what helps me is to cook mostly everything in one day for the entire week.0 -
Do you cook, or can you take a few lessons (even from a friend if no cooking classes are available)? Maybe you could cook a meal for them occasionally and thus show them that healthy low-cal meals can be easy and delicious. If they really like the social aspect of eating out, it will be a challenge to get them to change that. But maybe you can help them research some better choices at their favorite restaurants. Or if they were interested in having their friends over once or twice a month instead of going out, your idea of a personal chef/caterer to prepare a healthy choice may work. Maybe it would spur them to get involved in food preparation.0
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I don't know the area you're in, but there are usually always fun couples or individual cooking classes on the weekend. From my experience, it's usually the organizations that offer classes for learning other hobbies like knitting, painting, sculpting, etc.
It might actually be a nice social experience for them or a fun couples thing to do together as well.
If you can't find any in your area, i suggest you guys try watching something together and trying to recreate the recipes.
My suggestions: Watch Good Eats.
With 14 seasons he has made over 600 dishes. He is informal and tells you how things work, why things work, how to prepare, cook, pick cooking hardware for the job, etc. It's incredibly informative and fun to try. Something like "Okay, each week we'll watch a new episode and create the dish"
Getting interested in food is amazing because you start to actually care about what you're eating. You no longer want to go out and order fast food because you can make something yourself, feel pride, and it tastes better and is usually cheaper!
They also have to want to change. My suggestion would definitely be to suggest MFP and teaching them, again, about calories, macro and micro nutrients, how things work, etc.
EDUCATION is the most important thing for long lasting health.
Encourage them to find a hobby or something that they can do and be active. Like maybe they ride a bike, or go hiking together, or just go on walks. Anything to get them moving.
Best of luck!
Also, apparently, there's a guy on youtube (where you can find all of the good eats episodes) called AdamAndAlton where he cooks the dishes learned in episodes.
pretty cool.
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rainbowbow wrote: »I don't know the area you're in, but there are usually always fun couples or individual cooking classes on the weekend. From my experience, it's usually the organizations that offer classes for learning other hobbies like knitting, painting, sculpting, etc.
It might actually be a nice social experience for them or a fun couples thing to do together as well.
If you can't find any in your area, i suggest you guys try watching something together and trying to recreate the recipes.
My suggestions: Watch Good Eats.
With 14 seasons he has made over 600 dishes. He is informal and tells you how things work, why things work, how to prepare, cook, pick cooking hardware for the job, etc. It's incredibly informative and fun to try. Something like "Okay, each week we'll watch a new episode and create the dish"
Getting interested in food is amazing because you start to actually care about what you're eating. You no longer want to go out and order fast food because you can make something yourself, feel pride, and it tastes better and is usually cheaper!
They also have to want to change. My suggestion would definitely be to suggest MFP and teaching them, again, about calories, macro and micro nutrients, how things work, etc.
EDUCATION is the most important thing for long lasting health.
Encourage them to find a hobby or something that they can do and be active. Like maybe they ride a bike, or go hiking together, or just go on walks. Anything to get them moving.
Best of luck!
Also, apparently, there's a guy on youtube (where you can find all of the good eats episodes) called AdamAndAlton where he cooks the dishes learned in episodes. pretty cool.
great show, I wish it never ended0 -
SunnyOutlook08 wrote: »Hi all, I really want to help my parents lose weight. They belong to a weight loss group but it's more like a social gathering for them. They also see a nutritionist but I don't think it's helping them any. They eat out a lot and don't know how to cook so they eat a lot of processed foods. They've read books on healthy eating, especially my dad who has diabetes, but they never get motivated enough to make any major changes. It's like they're interested in being healthy but enjoy the convenience of eating out and being social more.
Any suggestions on how I can help them eat healthier and change their lifestyle? I thought about hiring a personal chef who can teach them how to cook. I also thought about ordering nutisystem for them but not sure they'd use it. Any suggestions welcome. Ty.
First- Do they really want to lose weight? Sounds like they have had help but aren't doing anything with it. You can't help if they don't really want it.
Second- They don't want to learn to cook. They are grown ups. They can eat what they like as long as they eat the right calories for them. Help them figure out how many calories they need and what they can eat at their favorite restaurants that fits their goals.
Third- Don't spend a bunch of money. Get them set up with MFP and show them how to use the food diary tool.0 -
Introduce them to MFP and let them go about their business.0
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You can't help them. They have to help themselves. Encourage them to carry good life insurance.0
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My daughter was unhappy with my weight loss decisions for a long time so I stopped talking to her about it. She is proud of me NOW. I think she worries too much about toxins. I try not to tease her too much about it.
Frankly the only support I've appreciated from her is her expressions of pride that I have come so far. It was a highlight this year when she joined me on a fun run.
I suggest you limit yourself to compliments when your parents make healthier choices. Parents are smarter than they may appear.
That being said I would encourage any diabetic to go for regular testing, to keep this "silent killer" at bay.0 -
Not Nutrisystem. I get why you want to try that, but it's not going to help them long-term or even in the very short term, like past 2 meals. (and although it's been OMG over 25 years since I tried it [fyi I was a young teenager. A *normal weight* teenager!] the food pouches were nasty. If it's the same, they'll probably just get what they usually get instead because that probably tastes better) .
Other than that, whatever they get excited about, if it's not totally wacky, support it. They have to take a lead on it, can't just come from you. In my opinion, "totally wacky" would be:
- a very low calorie diet (less than 1200 calories by my definition) without supervision or medical reason
- food like Nutrisystem. Or only shakes and ice 3x a day
- diets that veer WAY WAY WAY off from whatever your country's food guide says for food content - I'm talking stuff like fruitarianism
But if they want to go for vegan or low carb or paleo or gluten free or candida diet or whatever, doesn't matter, in my opinion, as long as most nutrients are hit and it's not too low-cal and they're into it.
Even something like 21 day fix is fine imo if it helps them get a grip on portions and eating some veg and fruit and they feel like paying the money.
If I were to pick a program for people who needed a lot of hand holding, it'd be Weight Watchers. Balanced diet, established system, good results for people, social support, etc.
MFP would be ideal, but it's for self-directed people. I don't think that *only* very self-directed people deserve to lose weight and be healthy. WW is fine.
(You can talk them into calorie counting later, this could be an encouraging start.)0 -
Or if they maybe want to take a cooking class, that'd be a good thing.0
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Since they eat out a lot, show them how to read online nutritional information so that they can make informed choices.0
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You cannot help them. You can add stress to your relationship with them and fight with them. But you cannot help them.0
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It is very hard for kids to tell their parents anything. If they are not motivated you aren't going to be able to get them to do anything. Model good behaviors, maybe find a healthy restaurant and take them out to lunch, or go over to their place to cook a cook meal for them and have them help you. Encourage their good behaviors. Maybe see if there are any fitness groups that they can join to get their social fix without the food component (walking groups, local rec center).0
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catscats222 wrote: »buy them this book:
The Mayo Clinic Healthy Diet Recipe Book
https://store.mayoclinic.com/products/bookDetails.cfm?mpid=135
this plan also ties in to low sodium (dash diet), anti-cancer diet, and low cholesterol diets.
I think unless they've specifically asked for it, giving someone a diet book as a gift can be a high risk move, one that could place a strain on the relationship.0 -
Talk about high risk move; when I was a kid dad bought mom a set of pots for Christmas. There'd been words previous about her cooking skills, which weren't great. That was one chilly Christmas day, let me tell you.0
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Talk about high risk move; when I was a kid dad bought mom a set of pots for Christmas. There'd been words previous about her cooking skills, which weren't great. That was one chilly Christmas day, let me tell you.
I have a co-worker who got his wife sessions with a physical trainer for Christmas. His rationale was that she had briefly expressed, earlier in the year, that she was thinking about taking up weight lifting. He had shared with some of us that he was giving her the sessions and the women all warned him against it. He was positive she'd be thrilled. She wasn't.0 -
Since you're all adults, it's perfectly acceptable to tell them that you're concerned for their health, especially your dad's diabetes, and ask them if there's anything you can do to help (cooking classes, books, introducing them to MFP, whatever). After that, take your cues from them. If they express interest in anything, run with it. Turn it into a family activity (would they be interested in doing an activity, like hiking, walking 5ks, going to the zoo on a regular basis? That might be a different approach, and possibly more fun). If they're resistant or irritated with you, let it go. Forcing the issue is only going to make it worse.0
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I don't know how old your parents are, but the best nutrition advice for the elderly may be somewhat different than the common wisdom shared on MFP. Someone in their eighties may require less calories than is customarily recommended and their macros may need to be different. I'm trying to find a dietician that specializes in elder care for my mother.0
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The diabetes stands out to me. Get them to a diabetes education group, or one-on-one diabetes counseling. Insurance may cover it, if not a lot of bigger grocery store chains offer it for cheap.
My mom is a diabetes educator (an RN) and her department also has dieticians. They do individual appointments with a bit of a CBT feel, as well as cooking classes for patients and spouses, etc.
The bad news is that all the eating out is definitely bad. The good news is that even if they don't cook, there are healthier foods with better portions that they can buy- they just have to make better choices than a bag of chips.0 -
Hubby and I are empty nesters, and we eat out a lot. It's not for lack of skill, education, or knowledge, but from an abundance of time and a need to socialize. We find it easier to lose weight the weeks we eat more at home, but every once in a while we gotta break out of the compound.
Better choices can be made when eating out. Salt is probably the hardest to control. I love the Wendy's half order salads, very well balanced macro-wise. At fancier digs I only eat half my order and take out the rest.0 -
I guess it depends on your relationship with your parents. If you have in the past had conversations about weight loss, health concerns, and diet changes then I don't see what is wrong with guiding them or motivating them. Especially since OP stated the parents do have some interest in it since they read books about it. It seems like implementing a healthy lifestyle is where they are struggling.
In a wife/husband relationship it is more of a touchy subject, if you get your significant other a cook book/exercise class they might mistake it for you judging their appearance which can affect your relationship. This is not the same as a child/parent relationship.
I've seen local businesses that do home deliveries of healthy meals every couple of days. You can search if you have something similar in your area and talk to you parents to see if that is something they would be interested in.
I feel like with my parents it would be too difficult for them to use MFP, like counting calories and recording it would frustrate them at this point in their lives.
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I've already told my daughter that she won't be in charge of me in the nursing home. She fusses too much.0
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Not Nutrisystem. I get why you want to try that, but it's not going to help them long-term or even in the very short term, like past 2 meals. (and although it's been OMG over 25 years since I tried it [fyi I was a young teenager. A *normal weight* teenager!] the food pouches were nasty. If it's the same, they'll probably just get what they usually get instead because that probably tastes better) .
Other than that, whatever they get excited about, if it's not totally wacky, support it. They have to take a lead on it, can't just come from you. In my opinion, "totally wacky" would be:
- a very low calorie diet (less than 1200 calories by my definition) without supervision or medical reason
- food like Nutrisystem. Or only shakes and ice 3x a day
- diets that veer WAY WAY WAY off from whatever your country's food guide says for food content - I'm talking stuff like fruitarianism
But if they want to go for vegan or low carb or paleo or gluten free or candida diet or whatever, doesn't matter, in my opinion, as long as most nutrients are hit and it's not too low-cal and they're into it.
Even something like 21 day fix is fine imo if it helps them get a grip on portions and eating some veg and fruit and they feel like paying the money.
If I were to pick a program for people who needed a lot of hand holding, it'd be Weight Watchers. Balanced diet, established system, good results for people, social support, etc.
MFP would be ideal, but it's for self-directed people. I don't think that *only* very self-directed people deserve to lose weight and be healthy. WW is fine.
(You can talk them into calorie counting later, this could be an encouraging start.)
I lost 45 pounds being on Nutrisystem for 6 months. That was 8 years ago, and I'm still maintaining my weight. The food has improved immensely in 25 years (is it fair to trash a program when your experience is THAT old?). I know TONS of senior citizens on NS right now who are successfully losing. And I know a bunch that are maintaining.0 -
I've already told my daughter that she won't be in charge of me in the nursing home. She fusses too much.
My mom said the same thing to me
She's generally cheerful, but grumpy when feeling unwell, hates it when I try to do nice things. ("I'll tell you when I want a pillow, just please leave me alone...")0 -
Not Nutrisystem. I get why you want to try that, but it's not going to help them long-term or even in the very short term, like past 2 meals. (and although it's been OMG over 25 years since I tried it [fyi I was a young teenager. A *normal weight* teenager!] the food pouches were nasty. If it's the same, they'll probably just get what they usually get instead because that probably tastes better) .
Other than that, whatever they get excited about, if it's not totally wacky, support it. They have to take a lead on it, can't just come from you. In my opinion, "totally wacky" would be:
- a very low calorie diet (less than 1200 calories by my definition) without supervision or medical reason
- food like Nutrisystem. Or only shakes and ice 3x a day
- diets that veer WAY WAY WAY off from whatever your country's food guide says for food content - I'm talking stuff like fruitarianism
But if they want to go for vegan or low carb or paleo or gluten free or candida diet or whatever, doesn't matter, in my opinion, as long as most nutrients are hit and it's not too low-cal and they're into it.
Even something like 21 day fix is fine imo if it helps them get a grip on portions and eating some veg and fruit and they feel like paying the money.
If I were to pick a program for people who needed a lot of hand holding, it'd be Weight Watchers. Balanced diet, established system, good results for people, social support, etc.
MFP would be ideal, but it's for self-directed people. I don't think that *only* very self-directed people deserve to lose weight and be healthy. WW is fine.
(You can talk them into calorie counting later, this could be an encouraging start.)
I lost 45 pounds being on Nutrisystem for 6 months. That was 8 years ago, and I'm still maintaining my weight. The food has improved immensely in 25 years (is it fair to trash a program when your experience is THAT old?). I know TONS of senior citizens on NS right now who are successfully losing. And I know a bunch that are maintaining.
Well, if it worked for you, who am I to say, you're right.
Re bolded, probably not. The stuff at the time was in bags you had to boil. (Not trying to be rude, but I once tried my dog's food - she wouldn't eat it, I was curious and very very young - and I would say that the NS food I ate and my dog's food tasted about the same. I hope it's better now!
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catscats222 wrote: »i wonder if old people in nursing homes just pretend not to remember who you are -
what? you don't want me to eat pie? who are you?
I know that's meant to be a joke but dementia is pretty much the unfunniest thing ever.0
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