Help... CoffeeNCardio and the Weightlifter's Fragile Ego
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CoffeeNCardio
Posts: 1,847 Member
Did you like my Harry Potter discussion title? Ha ha!
So for real now: I have terrible terrible anxiety about going to the weights area of my gym. I use the cardio machines there with no trouble, you can hardly humiliate yourself walking on a treadmill. I'm fine with failure, I handle failure well. I DO NOT handle public failure well. I'm going to power through this and go anyway, but I need to be calmed down.
Maybe I've seen too many "Workout Fails" videos on youtube, maybe I need to shut up and get over myself and accept that occasionally looking like an idiot where people can see is just part of life...whatever. I feel like I'd be a lot less anxiety-ridden about this if I had some insider tips. All I have done so far is cardio. But it's been repeatedly suggested to me that I do both cardio and strength training, and I do want to do the latter anyway, I'm just having this issue with the anxiety.
So help me out regular-gym-goers. Gym etiquette that you can't find in a google search? (And some you might find there). Do this not that when it's busy? Do this not that in general? What's the beginners tutorial version of "How not to totally humiliate yourself your first few weeks going to the gym for Dummies"?
So far I've heard "Don't make **** up" which I sorta figured but don't really understand and "wipe down the machines".
.......... Go.
So for real now: I have terrible terrible anxiety about going to the weights area of my gym. I use the cardio machines there with no trouble, you can hardly humiliate yourself walking on a treadmill. I'm fine with failure, I handle failure well. I DO NOT handle public failure well. I'm going to power through this and go anyway, but I need to be calmed down.
Maybe I've seen too many "Workout Fails" videos on youtube, maybe I need to shut up and get over myself and accept that occasionally looking like an idiot where people can see is just part of life...whatever. I feel like I'd be a lot less anxiety-ridden about this if I had some insider tips. All I have done so far is cardio. But it's been repeatedly suggested to me that I do both cardio and strength training, and I do want to do the latter anyway, I'm just having this issue with the anxiety.
So help me out regular-gym-goers. Gym etiquette that you can't find in a google search? (And some you might find there). Do this not that when it's busy? Do this not that in general? What's the beginners tutorial version of "How not to totally humiliate yourself your first few weeks going to the gym for Dummies"?
So far I've heard "Don't make **** up" which I sorta figured but don't really understand and "wipe down the machines".
.......... Go.
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Replies
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My first suggestion is ... talk to the gym staff and get them to give you a demo on all the equipment. A good gym will also set up a basic program for you. Ask them questions about the equipment and about good form etc. etc. during that process.
I have found that when the staff takes me around and shows me the equipment and what to do (even if I have a pretty good idea anyway), that makes me feel more comfortable in the place.
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My first suggestion is ... talk to the gym staff and get them to give you a demo on all the equipment. A good gym will also set up a basic program for you. Ask them questions about the equipment and about good form etc. etc. during that process.
I have found that when the staff takes me around and shows me the equipment and what to do (even if I have a pretty good idea anyway), that makes me feel more comfortable in the place.
Thank you. My sister works there. She's given me a few videos to watch and whatnot. She's in a different part of the place, but she has graciously offered to walk me through a few things and talk to her boss about getting me a discount for the basics class. It only runs once a month (this is an HOA funded rec center, they put a lot more emphasis on cleaning the pool ha ha), and it's big bucks and I WAS trying to scrape together the money but I just had to have my fuel pump redone for $600 so there went that for while. I just don't want to wait til I save up again to go, I'm afraid if I wait I won't do it.
Thinking about maybe starting out in the dead middle of the night in my apartment complex rec room. It's not near what they have available at the gym, but maybe it's a good start. There's only usually one or two people in there late at night. Maybe I oughta work up to GIANT gym full of tons of people...0 -
75% of the people in weight rooms dont know what they are doing, so don't worry about what they are thinking. And the ones that do know what they are doing will have respect for you for being there.0
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Well if you can do cardio at the gym, you can do weights at the gym. Treadmill fail videos are all over the place!
I think it's like anything else. It will vary based on the gym and the crowd in the gym. But don't overthink it, just go do it. If you're starting out you have just as much right to the equipment as people that have been doing it for years. I think the suggestions by @Machka9 are great for helping find a comfort zone.0 -
robertw486 wrote: »Well if you can do cardio at the gym, you can do weights at the gym. Treadmill fail videos are all over the place!
I think it's like anything else. It will vary based on the gym and the crowd in the gym. But don't overthink it, just go do it. If you're starting out you have just as much right to the equipment as people that have been doing it for years. I think the suggestions by @Machka9 are great for helping find a comfort zone.
Thanks, I'm getting there. I have to talk out my self-made mental blockade. (Type out?) I'm also sort of hoping this will keep me accountable. I don't want a PM saying "How was your first day at the gym?" to end with a reply from me saying "oh poopoo I didn't go" (I'm going on Tuesday morning so help me valium)0 -
75% of the people in weight rooms dont know what they are doing, so don't worry about what they are thinking. And the ones that do know what they are doing will have respect for you for being there.
Really? That's probably good news for me at least. Maybe if I come in there sorta kinda having a good idea what to do.... (I'm watching a LOT of videos on proper form and machine use and such right now)0 -
Find yourself a workout routine to do, then walk into that gym like a BOSS and get to it. Pretty much everybody feels self-conscious their first time (or few times) in a gym, but the truth is that the people there are so involved in their own workouts that they're not going to pay attention to you in the least (unless you're doing something extraordinarily stupid, lol). In the gym where I work out, about 80% of the people are wearing headphones, so they're zoned out on everything going on around them unless you're slamming weights or yelling so loud that they can hear you over their music. It feels like a big deal to you, but you're basically invisible to everybody else in the gym unless you're doing something that calls attention to yourself.
Most gyms have anywhere from a few to quite a number of women working out in the free weight area (mine does, and it's not even a "hardcore" gym) - so you probably won't be the only one, which will hopefully help you get over the anxiety/self-consciousness.
Don't worry about how much weight anybody else is lifting, and don't compare yourself to them. Everybody had to start somewhere and most everybody in a gym will respect you just for being there and putting in the effort. People are always worried about the stereotypical "big guys" in the gym being bullies or laughing at them for their puny build or how little weight they're lifting, and that stereotype is very rarely true. I used to work out at a gym where several amateur and pro bodybuilders trained and they were actually some of the nicest and most encouraging people in the gym!
Etiquette stuff:
1) Bring a workout towel and use it. Some gyms supply antiseptic wipes and want you to wipe the machines down with them after you use them; others just want you to use your towel and not leave pools of sweat for the next person to sit/lie in. Either way, don't walk away from a machine/bench and leave your sweat all over it.
2) Re-rack your weights when you're done with them (dumbbells/weight plates). If you load a leg press or squat machine or whatever with weights, put them back where they belong when you're done; if you're using dumbbells, put them back on the rack in the right order after you finish.
3) Squat racks are for squats. Don't curl in them, don't bench press in them, don't do ab exercises in them, etc. This is one that will really piss off the squatters, because you can't really squat anywhere but in a squat rack and most gyms don't have that many of them. If they have to stand there and wait 10 minutes for you to finish your curls (which could and should have been done over in the dumbbell area), you're definitely going to be noticed - and in a way you don't want.
4) Don't sit around on machines/benches/whatever that you're not using. Get your sets in and move on, don't sit there taking up a machine while you text your friends, snap selfies for Facebook, catch up your workout log, adjust your iPod or whatever else. There may be somebody else patiently waiting to use that bench/whatever, but they're hanging back just waiting for you to finish rather than standing over you.
Whatever routine you choose to do, start out light unless you're a big-time masochist. Do one or two sets of each exercise with light weights and call it good. If you jump right in and start trying to go heavy, you're going to experience DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness) like you've never felt - I'm talking about not being able to raise your arms high enough to wash your hair without feeling like somebody is thrusting a burning sword into your triceps, and almost crying from the leg pain when you try to sit down on the toilet (or stand up afterward)! Ease into it and let your body get used to this new assault upon it - after a couple weeks you can start dialing up the weight and number of sets.0 -
Find yourself a workout routine to do, then walk into that gym like a BOSS and get to it. Pretty much everybody feels self-conscious their first time (or few times) in a gym, but the truth is that the people there are so involved in their own workouts that they're not going to pay attention to you in the least (unless you're doing something extraordinarily stupid, lol). In the gym where I work out, about 80% of the people are wearing headphones, so they're zoned out on everything going on around them unless you're slamming weights or yelling so loud that they can hear you over their music. It feels like a big deal to you, but you're basically invisible to everybody else in the gym unless you're doing something that calls attention to yourself.
Most gyms have anywhere from a few to quite a number of women working out in the free weight area (mine does, and it's not even a "hardcore" gym) - so you probably won't be the only one, which will hopefully help you get over the anxiety/self-consciousness.
Don't worry about how much weight anybody else is lifting, and don't compare yourself to them. Everybody had to start somewhere and most everybody in a gym will respect you just for being there and putting in the effort. People are always worried about the stereotypical "big guys" in the gym being bullies or laughing at them for their puny build or how little weight they're lifting, and that stereotype is very rarely true. I used to work out at a gym where several amateur and pro bodybuilders trained and they were actually some of the nicest and most encouraging people in the gym!
Etiquette stuff:
1) Bring a workout towel and use it. Some gyms supply antiseptic wipes and want you to wipe the machines down with them after you use them; others just want you to use your towel and not leave pools of sweat for the next person to sit/lie in. Either way, don't walk away from a machine/bench and leave your sweat all over it.
2) Re-rack your weights when you're done with them (dumbbells/weight plates). If you load a leg press or squat machine or whatever with weights, put them back where they belong when you're done; if you're using dumbbells, put them back on the rack in the right order after you finish.
3) Squat racks are for squats. Don't curl in them, don't bench press in them, don't do ab exercises in them, etc. This is one that will really piss off the squatters, because you can't really squat anywhere but in a squat rack and most gyms don't have that many of them. If they have to stand there and wait 10 minutes for you to finish your curls (which could and should have been done over in the dumbbell area), you're definitely going to be noticed - and in a way you don't want.
4) Don't sit around on machines/benches/whatever that you're not using. Get your sets in and move on, don't sit there taking up a machine while you text your friends, snap selfies for Facebook, catch up your workout log, adjust your iPod or whatever else. There may be somebody else patiently waiting to use that bench/whatever, but they're hanging back just waiting for you to finish rather than standing over you.
Whatever routine you choose to do, start out light unless you're a big-time masochist. Do one or two sets of each exercise with light weights and call it good. If you jump right in and start trying to go heavy, you're going to experience DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness) like you've never felt - I'm talking about not being able to raise your arms high enough to wash your hair without feeling like somebody is thrusting a burning sword into your triceps, and almost crying from the leg pain when you try to sit down on the toilet (or stand up afterward)! Ease into it and let your body get used to this new assault upon it - after a couple weeks you can start dialing up the weight and number of sets.
Wow. This was immensely helpful, thank you so much. I don't think I knew 90% of that, and I've been googling all dam night. Really appreciate it. Especially: "Find yourself a workout routine to do, then walk into that gym like a BOSS and get to it." This made me smile:)
The bolded: yeah I don't think I could put my finger on that, but I think i was a little worried about it after all. I'm being a bad feminist probably. Need to just get over it.0 -
Lol, but dude. I'm overweight. I don't do selfies. I do anythingies related to cameras on purpose. I usually hide.0
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CoffeeNCardio wrote: »Lol, but dude. I'm overweight. I don't do selfies. I do anythingies related to cameras on purpose. I usually hide.
LOL. That was for the social media-inclined crowd. The ones who believe that if you didn't "check in" at the gym on Facebook or Instagram, the workout didn't happen. I don't really care if people want to check in or do selfies or Instagram or text messages or web browsing or whatever all they want - just don't do it sitting on a workout station that three other people are waiting to use! It's a gym, not a freaking coffee lounge.
Seriously, ditch the anxiety. Most people in most gyms have nothing but respect for anybody else who's in there putting in the effort. I see everything from skinny high school youngsters to 80+ year olds who use their walkers to get from machine to machine (not kidding!). Every body shape and size in both men and women. The weight room isn't full of yoked-out meatheads and tanned, toned hotties. Once you get past the initial anxiety (which everybody has), you'll just be another person in there getting sweaty and trying to better yourself!0 -
CoffeeNCardio wrote: »My first suggestion is ... talk to the gym staff and get them to give you a demo on all the equipment. A good gym will also set up a basic program for you. Ask them questions about the equipment and about good form etc. etc. during that process.
I have found that when the staff takes me around and shows me the equipment and what to do (even if I have a pretty good idea anyway), that makes me feel more comfortable in the place.
Thank you. My sister works there. She's given me a few videos to watch and whatnot. She's in a different part of the place, but she has graciously offered to walk me through a few things and talk to her boss about getting me a discount for the basics class.
I've never been to a "basics class" ... I just walk up to the counter and say to the staff member standing there, "This is my first day here and I wondered if you would mind walking me through the equipment and showing me how it all works."
I've never been turned down. I suspect they've got a responsibility, a duty of care, to ensure that their customers have some idea what they are doing so that they don't hurt themselves.
They rarely go into a significant amount of detail, but enough so that I know how to operate most of the machines (some are new and different from what I used when I first started bodybuilding), and get a feel for the place.
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find yourself a workout plan (something like Stronglifts 5x5, New Rules of Lifting for women (get the book - it's a good read) or Starting Strength might be a good place to start to get some basic lifts in.
THEN - print out the routine, take it to the gym and ask a member of staff to show you each of the lifts you are going to do. That way you get familiar with the piece of equipment, and have a clear idea of what you are going to do, without getting too complicated in different workouts.
I slipped on the treadmill the other day, and very nearly went flying off the back of it. workout fails aren't restricted to weights!!!!0 -
I don't think I have seen epic fails at the gym IRL (just on the internet). I've seen plenty of bad form, but that's so common...it's pretty unmemorable. Make a plan, get on a beginner program, have the gym staff intro you to the equipment in the weight room, then just start.0
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Just go.
You'll be fine and pick it up in no time.0 -
Great advice here. Have fun, smile and enjoy it. You will be fine and it definitely gets easier and you get more comfortable with it.
Keep reading and asking. Find a staple of simple exercises, that hit the main areas..easy to find online. Work the chest, shoulders, back, arms, core, legs. Free weights are probably the easiest place to start, but many of the machines mimic these motions and can be safer (but they look intimidating if you have never used them).
Ask someone for help if you are not sure about something. I workout at weird times, and its often not staffed but fellow members are quite helpful when I am uncertain about a machine I hadn't used before.
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I'm at the gym..... it's busy. There are people everywhere...... And my hr is like 107 resting cause I'm so stressed out. It's normally 74. But I'm doing it god help me. Powering through the awkward.0
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CoffeeNCardio wrote: »I'm at the gym..... it's busy. There are people everywhere...... And my hr is like 107 resting cause I'm so stressed out. It's normally 74. But I'm doing it god help me. Powering through the awkward.
R-e-e-e-l-a-a-a-x. It's a gym, not a war zone.0 -
Tell that to my adrenal glands0
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I felt the same way when I joined the gym....then after finally manning up and hitting the weights section, I realized that no one cares what anyone else does at the gym. Everyone is focused on getting in, doing their own workouts and getting out again. Seriously, no one is going to be staring at you, thinking wow she's a newbie. You may get an occassional offer of advice from the regular gym goers if they do notice you have bad form or something, but that that as it's offered, just helpful advice, not criticism.
Seriously, just go and start working out. Find a routine online that looks interesting, look up how to do the various lifts on youtube and just go do it.
Good luck 0 -
outside of having someone show you around and show you the various pieces of equipment and what they are used for (which is a good idea), you should follow an established program.
New Rules of Lifting for Women is a great starting point. The read alone will help explain what you're doing and why you should be doing it and why you shouldn't be intimidated by the weight room (as many women are).
Beyond that, it gives to a pretty solid program to work with which is beneficial in that; 1) it takes a lot of knowledge to program you own routine in such a way that your program isn't lacking or conversely resulting in too much volume. a good structured program is going to ensure that you're hitting everything you should be hitting and not skipping out on certain movements and which could result in muscular imbalances. 2) you'll walk into the gym with a plan...the program will lay out exactly what you're supposed to be doing on any given day so that you're not walking around willy nilly picking things up and putting them down or otherwise walking around like a deer in the headlights. 3) a solid program will help ensure appropriate progressions.
New Rules gets a bit convoluted towards the end of the program which is when my wife switched to Strong Curves...but otherwise it's a pretty good program to start with.
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