How do you forgive bad people?

violetjin123
violetjin123 Posts: 7 Member
edited November 26 in Chit-Chat
Ok. This is just a random question. How do you forgive some people who are mean to you? What can you do to let it go and not be bother by it?
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Replies

  • pie_eyes
    pie_eyes Posts: 12,964 Member
    Perform a seance
  • verptwerp
    verptwerp Posts: 3,659 Member
    I don't ......
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
    I realize that they're probably being mean because of something in their own life they are unhappy with, and then I feel for them that they are so miserable that they have to act out as such.
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  • BraveNewdGirl
    BraveNewdGirl Posts: 937 Member
    I generally decide that they don't deserve to rent space in my head and focus my energy elsewhere. I'm big on letting ish go, but not forgetting who has burned me in the past.
  • ShrinkingKerrie
    ShrinkingKerrie Posts: 338 Member
    I hold grudges..for years lol
  • JSurita3
    JSurita3 Posts: 10,177 Member
    First of all, did they ask for forgiveness? If they didn't, then don't worry about it. That being said, forgiveness is about you and not the person who wronged you. YOU are the one who lives with a grudge not them. If you can live with that then go ahead. If you can't, then forgive.
  • pie_eyes
    pie_eyes Posts: 12,964 Member
    If they're mean to you give them a little "library reading" to let them know that they're nothing special. I guess it depends on what level of meanness you're talking about since there's a bunch of different
  • pondee629
    pondee629 Posts: 2,469 Member
    I don't. I send them to the corn field.
  • ScorpionQwean
    ScorpionQwean Posts: 1,013 Member
    Spank them..........hard, then kiss and make up. Truthfully, I forgive and move on....
  • BlendaBrenda
    BlendaBrenda Posts: 75 Member
    Forgiveness is about you, not them.
  • Omar_Apocrypha
    Omar_Apocrypha Posts: 794 Member
    i forgive but not forget
  • mer1cose
    mer1cose Posts: 90 Member
    Don't waste your energy on it. Forgive and move on.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I honestly wouldn't say I hold a grudge per se...I just put them in a different category in my life and mind. It varies by person. But they don't get the same "status" they had before, they don't have the same importance to me or level of me caring for them...and if they build it back up it is gonna take time.
  • pie_eyes
    pie_eyes Posts: 12,964 Member
    seltzermint555 wrote: »
    I honestly wouldn't say I hold a grudge per se...I just put them in a different category in my life and mind. It varies by person. But they don't get the same "status" they had before, they don't have the same importance to me or level of me caring for them...and if they build it back up it is gonna take time.

    Same
  • KevinPsalm23v4
    KevinPsalm23v4 Posts: 208 Member
    Forgive means you no longer hold that against them. BUT forgetting is something we can't do. We can simply forgive and move beyond that person who gave us a cluttered mess that we have to clean up. Once we decide to move-on, that person is either a part of our life (2nd chances) - or - they are not.
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
    edited November 2015
    I forgive and don't give them anymore of my precious time or energy. If they are mean there's something wrong with them not you.

    I am a pretty callous person when you piss me off. I have no problem sending a person to the land of nothing in my world.
  • ThatFatAsianNerd
    ThatFatAsianNerd Posts: 1,415 Member
    Define "bad."
  • OneHundredToLose
    OneHundredToLose Posts: 8,523 Member
    If people are sufficiently toxic to me, I remove them from my life. Life is too short to let yourself be surrounded by crappy people. Just cut them loose and move on.
  • Determined_ella_89
    Determined_ella_89 Posts: 1,710 Member
    violetjin123 wrote: »
    Ok. This is just a random question. How do you forgive some people who are mean to you? What can you do to let it go and not be bother by it?

    Depends on what you meant by being mean? You should forgive others for their ignorance or their stupidity... Chances are one day they will suffer when they look back at all they have done.... That will be enough punishment for them to live with. But by the time they realise it.. It will be to late for you to forgive them... Because you would have forgotten.


    In my situation... My children's father acts like his kids don't exist... I hated him for that at first... I no longer feel hate.... I feel sadness.. Mainly for my children.. But for him... Sad to know that he is missing out on wonderful children. But also sad for my children, because I don't have the answers they need .. To understand why he isn't around. I forgave him (to myself) for my sake and the children's. If you hold something against someone or carry the hate or annoyance with you, you will become bitter... Not always, but chances are at one point you will change because of it. Until you forgive, you carry a heavy weight on your shoulders... The weight which the other person who hurt you should carry... And they will one day.

    But there are this in this world that are unforgivable... However holding it there will not let you move on in life. X
  • Jruzer
    Jruzer Posts: 3,501 Member
    Forgiving means to wish for the best for the person who offended. It means ceasing to give the offense power over you.

    It doesn't mean forgetting or pretending the offense never happened. It also doesn't mean you have to make yourself vulnerable to the person again. For example, you can forgive an abuser, but that doesn't mean you should allow that person to come into contact with you again.
  • ShellyBell999
    ShellyBell999 Posts: 1,482 Member
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    This helps me :wink:
  • striderb
    striderb Posts: 5,843 Member
    Have them write you a really big check.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    violetjin123 wrote: »
    Ok. This is just a random question. How do you forgive some people who are mean to you? What can you do to let it go and not be bother by it?

    Tough.

    Forgiveness is not excusing the other people for the way they are. It is about free up the energy you waste dwelling on it. Almost everyone will do something 'bad' in their lives, but that doesn't make them a bad person all the time. Most the time, it is just a bad choice.

    Now, if someone continually slights you, that is no accident and you just need to not have them around you anymore.
  • lilbitoftrouble
    lilbitoftrouble Posts: 2,052 Member
    Chaelaz wrote: »
    violetjin123 wrote: »
    Ok. This is just a random question. How do you forgive some people who are mean to you? What can you do to let it go and not be bother by it?

    Tough.

    Forgiveness is not excusing the other people for the way they are. It is about free up the energy you waste dwelling on it. Almost everyone will do something 'bad' in their lives, but that doesn't make them a bad person all the time. Most the time, it is just a bad choice.

    Now, if someone continually slights you, that is no accident and you just need to not have them around you anymore.

    Wow this is a great answer.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    If someone is toxic in my life, I cut them loose.
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    If I can't harm/affect/destroy them right away (aggressive), I wait until they need me, then remind them to go to hell (passive-aggressive).
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
    You just do. You figure it's not worth giving them real estate in your head. And you move on.
  • michaelhornby365
    michaelhornby365 Posts: 39 Member
    I forgive after a time once the pain has stopped. But never forget. I forgive for my own mind and happiness. As holding on to something will eat you up inside. But that me. everyone different
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