Binge

alittlelife14

Tomorrow at 8am I am going to get help for my disordered eating
For the last 7 months I have been on a roller coaster of issues. Started off overly restricting my calories and weighing and logging everything and still eating about 500 to 700 calories most days. Then I would binge at night. Several thousands of cslories at a time. Thinking about food all the time. All. The. Time. Then I got my hands on Garcinia cambogia and hydroxycut. Hydroxycut made me so sick and I felt like I had hit rock bottom. I got back on the horse and upped my calories to like 1000 but still found myself late night binge. Then I stated having these 3am wake ups where I was sweaty and needed to eat.

Now recently I have been binging and throwing away foods and then eating them out of garbage. I have even stooped to taking laxatives a few times to try and compensate. Lastly, over past week I tried keto diet for 8 days and succeeded first couple days until I had a quest bar which spiked my carb cravings and sent me out of ketosis and into bloated hell. Now last night I got my hands on my two boxes of quests which had about 20 total left and opened each and every one and took a bite of every one and threw them away as I went. So probably ate about 10 quest bars collectively last night. Feeling terrible and at the last straw of everything. Tomorrow is my appointment and I don't know what to do until then besides eat and eat some more.

If anyone could provide feedback, input, etc, I would appreciate it more than anything. I need support right now if anyone would reach out

tulips_and_tea

I'm so sorry you're struggling right now, but good for you for making an appointment! Eating from now until then will NOT help. It will only make you feel worse. I think you should create a diary or a time log (similar to what you posted) about what you've done, what you've tried, how it affected you, etc. and take it with you tomorrow. Take notes during your session and read them afterwards.

This is a good start. You aren't alone. Many people deal with similar issues. Just know that you CAN overcome it!

beemerphile1

Good luck, I wish you success.

JuliaJ645

I suggest you tell your doctor what you just told us now. That's the best advice I can give you.

Bizzarrini

I have no experience or advice to give but sending you love and hoping you get good help and find a way to manage this. It sounds horrendous for you. xx

soapsandropes

Glad that you are getting help with this, wishing you much success in the future. Tell the doctor the truth, do no sugar coat it. Internet hugs if it will help.

cwagar123

Good for you for recognizing that you needed some help... that is a hard hard thing to do. You have spoken very honestly here and seem to really want to be healthier. I wish you nothing but the best.

jnnyp

I guess recognising this and seeking help is the first step. I know it's a real struggle but you will get through this. I have had this issue too for the past few months where I find myself binging in the evening - eating 5 Kit Kats, 5 caramel wafers and 3 pieces of bread with huge spread of peanut butter. What I found really help was sticking to scheduled eating times and not restricting my food for breakfast and lunch. I know evenings are hard so I tend to stay with friends or family to stop myself from binging - as most of the time, I do it secretly/privately so when I'm with people I don't do it.

alittlelife14

Thank you everyone for feedback. Today has been rough since my appointment is tomorrow so I am just wsiting. I am scared of how many total quest bars I ate since I just directed them all piece by piece and had 18 to start with. Likely ate about 13 to be realistic. How much weight will I gain? I had so much fiber and so much crap I just don't know when or how this is ever going to dtop

brianpperkins

Print out all of your threads over the past few months and bring them to your appointment. Show your doctor what you've been revealing here for a while.

Achaila

I'm in recovery for bulimia. I've been in and out for the past 10 years. Good luck, and it's great that you're getting help.

jnnyp

Stop worrying and don't over think! Don't think about weight loss/gaining weight... Drink lots of water and make sure you're not by yourself. Ring a friend...

SLLRunner

sarsather wrote: »

Tomorrow at 8am I am going to get help for my disordered eating
For the last 7 months I have been on a roller coaster of issues. Started off overly restricting my calories and weighing and logging everything and still eating about 500 to 700 calories most days. Then I would binge at night. Several thousands of cslories at a time. Thinking about food all the time. All. The. Time. Then I got my hands on Garcinia cambogia and hydroxycut. Hydroxycut made me so sick and I felt like I had hit rock bottom. I got back on the horse and upped my calories to like 1000 but still found myself late night binge. Then I stated having these 3am wake ups where I was sweaty and needed to eat.

Now recently I have been binging and throwing away foods and then eating them out of garbage. I have even stooped to taking laxatives a few times to try and compensate. Lastly, over past week I tried keto diet for 8 days and succeeded first couple days until I had a quest bar which spiked my carb cravings and sent me out of ketosis and into bloated hell. Now last night I got my hands on my two boxes of quests which had about 20 total left and opened each and every one and took a bite of every one and threw them away as I went. So probably ate about 10 quest bars collectively last night. Feeling terrible and at the last straw of everything. Tomorrow is my appointment and I don't know what to do until then besides eat and eat some more.

If anyone could provide feedback, input, etc, I would appreciate it more than anything. I need support right now if anyone would reach out

That you've shared it here is huge, and even bigger is the fact that you're getting help. I've worn shoes similar to yours and know how difficult that road is, so please know I am rooting for you 100 percent.

zoeysasha37

I'm glad your getting help tomorrow!

kshama2001

sarsather wrote: »

Thank you everyone for feedback. Today has been rough since my appointment is tomorrow so I am just wsiting. I am scared of how many total quest bars I ate since I just directed them all piece by piece and had 18 to start with. Likely ate about 13 to be realistic. How much weight will I gain? I had so much fiber and so much crap I just don't know when or how this is ever going to dtop

The calories in this batch of Quest bars are far less important than healing your relationship with food. Print out your OP and show your therapist.

{{{{{ hugs }}}}}

mccindy72

Good job recognizing that something is wrong. And even better job making an appointment to get some help. BED is a recognized eating disorder, and getting treatment is definitely heading in the right direction.

kisses71213

I'm a binge eater and have struggled my whole life... over much trial and error, this is the plan that has helped me the most: Eating/saving all my cals. until the end of the day *(usually I'll have 2 decent sized meals -a medium lunch and larger dinner w/ dessert at the end of both meals), I eat more protein, and pre-make/measure/record meals with a small dessert/treat at the end (which is the only thing I look forward to). I still binge occasionally, but nothing as bad as before. I have been losing weight by eating this way.

PinkPixiexox

I am really glad you are getting help for your eating disorder.

You know what? It's actually really easy to fall into this type of 'trap' with food, so know that you aren't alone and certainly have nothing to be ashamed of here. The best thing you can do right now is reach out and get to the bottom of these issues - and I promise it can be done.

In my opinion, I'd suggest taking a step back from MFP. You don't need the constant "LOSE WEIGHT" posts in your face, you really, really don't. This isn't going to heal you.

Wishing you the very best of luck.

RuNaRoUnDaFiEld

brianpperkins wrote: »

Print out all of your threads over the past few months and bring them to your appointment. Show your doctor what you've been revealing here for a while.

Great advice!

Good luck today at your appointment x

snickerscharlie

Good luck today!

alittlelife14

Thank you so much everyone. My appointment is over and I a home now. She drew alot of labs and is concerned that my kidneys may be overly stressed from the majorly high protein intake from always going insane on quest bars and such. She said that inpatient therapy isn't the best bet for me and that she may start me on Prozac. I was referred now to a psychiatrist who specializes in eating disorders and I I see her next Wedndsday. Until then, I have some questions and hope for some sdvice.

I have a week to wait to see her, so how should I approach my eating? Today so far I am still awaiting my body to clear out my quest bar binge and just feel bloated. I started the day with oatmeal with frozen berries in it.
My boyfriend wants to take me to noodles and company from dinner tonight. This week should I just eat with much less restrictions, or should I try very hard to eat heslthy and normal without eating out?

How should I prevent binge episodes for the next 7 days?

kshama2001

How about you eat at maintenance for the next week? This can include eating out, unless that's a big trigger for you. When I eat out, I split my entree in two and bring half home for later, which gives me a better serving size for my needs.

Is the psychiatrist someone who will work out an eating plan with you? Seems like all they do is prescribe pills these days. Maybe there is a referral to a dietician in your future as well.

mccindy72

sarsather wrote: »

Thank you so much everyone. My appointment is over and I a home now. She drew alot of labs and is concerned that my kidneys may be overly stressed from the majorly high protein intake from always going insane on quest bars and such. She said that inpatient therapy isn't the best bet for me and that she may start me on Prozac. I was referred now to a psychiatrist who specializes in eating disorders and I I see her next Wedndsday. Until then, I have some questions and hope for some sdvice.

I have a week to wait to see her, so how should I approach my eating? Today so far I am still awaiting my body to clear out my quest bar binge and just feel bloated. I started the day with oatmeal with frozen berries in it.
My boyfriend wants to take me to noodles and company from dinner tonight. This week should I just eat with much less restrictions, or should I try very hard to eat heslthy and normal without eating out?

How should I prevent binge episodes for the next 7 days?

Go to dinner with your boyfriend. I'd bet that your bingeing episodes happen when you are alone. Focus on eating in a normal fashion.
As far as bingeing episodes, when you feel one coming on, try to find something else to do. Especially something involving other people.

Raynne413

Unfortunately I have a lot of experience with binging, and people that haven't ever had the issue don't understand how HARD it is to stop or redirect when the urge starts. It's not just a matter of self control.

I started out losing weight by only counting calories when I was 300 lbs, and I was eating 1500 calories a day. Then I moved to only counting calories and eating 1200 calories a day. Then I plateaued and added exercise. Eventually I moved to eating around 1000 calories and working out for around 3 hours a day when I could manage it. I thought, well, if a little exercise is good, more must be better. And if 1200 calories was good, less must be better. On top of that, I was eating very little fat. I was good for about a year, and ended up losing down to around 110. Then, out of nowhere, uncontrollable binges would start. I would go crazy with anything that contained carbs and fat. And then after my binges, I would go crazy again with over restricting and over exercising to "make up" for those binges. I got desperate because I was gaining weight back, and I just couldn't get out of the cycle, so I decided to get help (with the strong urging of several friends).

I ended up seeing a nutritionist that specialized in eating disorders. She taught me several things that were a BIG help. The first thing was that I was sleep deprived because I was getting up at 4 am to work out, but going to bed around midnight (I had just started dating my boyfriend). Being sleep deprived can make you crave carbs. The second was that my body was going crazy craving carbs and fat because I was expending energy like crazy, but never replenishing. I needed to start eating more, and working out less.

It's still hard to find a balance, but as long as I listened to her AND listen to my body, I have very little issues now. The below is what I try to keep in mind, and what I suggest for anyone else having problems:

1) Make sure you get enough sleep
2) Make sure you are eating enough (especially enough fat)
3) Don't over exercise, and make sure you eat enough for you level of activity
4) DON'T try to "make up" for binges.

Nony_Mouse

One thing my therapist had me do when I was recovering from bulimia was keep a journal. When you feel the desire to binge, write it down, and try to examine why you want to eat. What is it that's making you want to stuff your feelings down with food? This is really hard work, but once you start to identify the underlying reasons for your disorder you can begin to work on those things with your therapist and find healthy coping strategies.

As for food, I would not try to restrict in any way - ie try to eat a normal amount and don't put anything off limits. Saying 'I'm not going to eat xyz' is setting yourself up for disaster. One of the most important lessons I learned in ED recovery was that there is no such thing as bad food (ie everything in moderation). If you know you have particular trigger foods you may want to stay away from those for now though.

rerez2015

We can't tell you how much weight you will gain. It would be pure speculation.

alittlelife14

I started off this entire problem at 124. With keto I lost to 110. When carbs came back I was like 117. Today at apppintment since I am bound up from the quest bars and just full of blah, I was 120. This saddens me and just shows I made like no progress even despite all I did and went through and motivates me to get on a heslthy and slow and normal weight loss and maintenence track.

I plan to go to store to buy all new food and heslthy grocery.

What types of things do you guys suggest?

I am going to go to noodles tonight. Boyfriend offered cold stone after and I denied.

mccindy72

sarsather wrote: »

I started off this entire problem at 124. With keto I lost to 110. When carbs came back I was like 117. Today at apppintment since I am bound up from the quest bars and just full of blah, I was 120. This saddens me and just shows I made like no progress even despite all I did and went through and motivates me to get on a heslthy and slow and normal weight loss and maintenence track.

I plan to go to store to buy all new food and heslthy grocery.

What types of things do you guys suggest?

I am going to go to noodles tonight. Boyfriend offered cold stone after and I denied.

Don't get caught up in trying to buy all 'healthy' foods and the like. You'll end up feeling deprived and craving foods you like.
Buy things you like, but if you can, buy single-size portions, or when you cook your meals, only cook enough for one portion.

starwhisperer6

Hoe tall are you? In your pic you look a very healthy weight, I obviously know nothing about you, I'm just wondering if you are trying to lose weight you shouldn't be trying to lose. Well done going to the doctor!

arditarose

Hi OP, hope you're feeling better today. Glad you got help.

As far as eating this week goes...why don't you just eat things you like? Throw in some veggies, meat, a bit of dessert. Any food is healthy within the context of a balanced diet. Enjoy your food this week!

brianpperkins

starwhisperer6 wrote: »

Hoe tall are you? In your pic you look a very healthy weight, I obviously know nothing about you, I'm just wondering if you are trying to lose weight you shouldn't be trying to lose. Well done going to the doctor!

Based on her previous threads she is at a healthy weight and has been throughout her posting.