Binge

alittlelife14

Thanks for all the input anyone. I like to keep adding updates on here during this time so I can feel accountable for my actions during these next few days.

So today I ate oatmeal with frozen berries in it, then a fee hours later had a veggie burger with quinoa and tomsto, then later on went to noodles and company and got Indonesian peanut Sautee size regular because we had a coupon. I immediately split it u in half and boxed it up because noodles has small and regular bowls so regular is bigger. This cut it from 800 calories to 400. After eating half I was full for a long time. Now since I am an evening shifter at work, I have troubles falling asleep esrly. I came home and did 45 minutes of csrdio. Came back and read for a long while and was very very painfully hungry now at 4am before bed. I plan to sleep in late tomorrow so I will probably only eat a lunch and dinner so yeah... I tried so hard not to but I opened up freezer and ate other half of noodles. Very upset with myself. When I add in the other half though to my previous day diary, it puts me at 1150 calories otherwise I was going to be at about upper 700. Was this okay? Eating at this time and eating thay just makes me upset and seems like I failed when I worked so so so hard today to be normal. I just know I couldn't fall asleep with the hunger pangs I had since after working out too I hadn't eaten since 7pm making it 8 hours.

mccindy72

sarsather wrote: »

Thanks for all the input anyone. I like to keep adding updates on here during this time so I can feel accountable for my actions during these next few days.

So today I ate oatmeal with frozen berries in it, then a fee hours later had a veggie burger with quinoa and tomsto, then later on went to noodles and company and got Indonesian peanut Sautee size regular because we had a coupon. I immediately split it u in half and boxed it up because noodles has small and regular bowls so regular is bigger. This cut it from 800 calories to 400. After eating half I was full for a long time. Now since I am an evening shifter at work, I have troubles falling asleep esrly. I came home and did 45 minutes of csrdio. Came back and read for a long while and was very very painfully hungry now at 4am before bed. I plan to sleep in late tomorrow so I will probably only eat a lunch and dinner so yeah... I tried so hard not to but I opened up freezer and ate other half of noodles. Very upset with myself. When I add in the other half though to my previous day diary, it puts me at 1150 calories otherwise I was going to be at about upper 700. Was this okay? Eating at this time and eating thay just makes me upset and seems like I failed when I worked so so so hard today to be normal. I just know I couldn't fall asleep with the hunger pangs I had since after working out too I hadn't eaten since 7pm making it 8 hours.

While you are worried about bingeing, be careful that you don't undereat. Letting yourself eat the other half of the noodles when you were actually feeling hungry was good. You weren't just craving and bingeing, you were eating a regular serving because you were hungry.
You would have been way too low on your calories if you hadn't eaten those noodles. You were still a little low, but did well.

kshama2001

sarsather wrote: »

Thanks for all the input anyone. I like to keep adding updates on here during this time so I can feel accountable for my actions during these next few days.

So today I ate oatmeal with frozen berries in it, then a fee hours later had a veggie burger with quinoa and tomsto, then later on went to noodles and company and got Indonesian peanut Sautee size regular because we had a coupon. I immediately split it u in half and boxed it up because noodles has small and regular bowls so regular is bigger. This cut it from 800 calories to 400. After eating half I was full for a long time. Now since I am an evening shifter at work, I have troubles falling asleep esrly. I came home and did 45 minutes of csrdio. Came back and read for a long while and was very very painfully hungry now at 4am before bed. I plan to sleep in late tomorrow so I will probably only eat a lunch and dinner so yeah... I tried so hard not to but I opened up freezer and ate other half of noodles. Very upset with myself. When I add in the other half though to my previous day diary, it puts me at 1150 calories otherwise I was going to be at about upper 700. Was this okay? Eating at this time and eating thay just makes me upset and seems like I failed when I worked so so so hard today to be normal. I just know I couldn't fall asleep with the hunger pangs I had since after working out too I hadn't eaten since 7pm making it 8 hours.

But only eating 700 calories, and working out on top of it, is what's not normal. It was good that you ate. It will be better if you plan to fuel yourself adequately and don't wait until the hunger is painful to eat.

alittlelife14

Thanks for all of the input and encouraging words.

Today went by fairly okay. So I went to Walmart and bought all new food for kitchen. Avoided trigger foods like ice cream or cereals or chips etc. Bought alot of produce and good stuff. Had oatmeal for breakfast which I am unsure if it keeps me full very long. Made a lavash wrap with Deli oven roasted turkey and tuna and veggies with a big bowl of broccoli. Then had a bowl of greek yogurt nonfat plain 1 cup mixed with 1 cup of quaker granola. Did not realize granola was 400 cslories. High fiber but not worth the calories to me.... plus the sweetness made me wanna binge the whole box so I quickly threw rest away to save myself from a potential binge.

Then I stayed up late because I am an evening shifter so I normally work 3 to 1130 and come home and hop on elliptical and then shower so I stay up late and then sleep in since I won't work again til 3pm. So my meals are a little confusing in terms of timing. I tried to exercize and have that be it at 900 cslories, but my body at 4am here as I was failing asleep woke me up and I needed something. Had a greek yogurt and 2 bananas which I am not proud of. Back to bed now. My calories at 1230 for the day then but I was on elliptical for 30 minutes straight going fast.

Before this and my recovery here, I used to eat 800 or so calories a day and be fine. Of course I would binge hard sometime during the week I am sure to compensate but it feels weird being at 1200 and even a little above. Feels like I am going to gain weight and it scares me.

Sued0nim

arditarose wrote: »

Hi OP, hope you're feeling better today. Glad you got help.

As far as eating this week goes...why don't you just eat things you like? Throw in some veggies, meat, a bit of dessert. Any food is healthy within the context of a balanced diet. Enjoy your food this week!

I agree with this

a download week when you aren't thinking about food is beneficial to everyone, particularly when your mind has you tied up in knots

kshama2001

sarsather wrote: »

Thanks for all of the input and encouraging words.

Today went by fairly okay. So I went to Walmart and bought all new food for kitchen. Avoided trigger foods like ice cream or cereals or chips etc. Bought alot of produce and good stuff. Had oatmeal for breakfast which I am unsure if it keeps me full very long. Made a lavash wrap with Deli oven roasted turkey and tuna and veggies with a big bowl of broccoli. Then had a bowl of greek yogurt nonfat plain 1 cup mixed with 1 cup of quaker granola. Did not realize granola was 400 cslories. High fiber but not worth the calories to me.... plus the sweetness made me wanna binge the whole box so I quickly threw rest away to save myself from a potential binge.

Then I stayed up late because I am an evening shifter so I normally work 3 to 1130 and come home and hop on elliptical and then shower so I stay up late and then sleep in since I won't work again til 3pm. So my meals are a little confusing in terms of timing. I tried to exercize and have that be it at 900 cslories, but my body at 4am here as I was failing asleep woke me up and I needed something. Had a greek yogurt and 2 bananas which I am not proud of. Back to bed now. My calories at 1230 for the day then but I was on elliptical for 30 minutes straight going fast.

Before this and my recovery here, I used to eat 800 or so calories a day and be fine. Of course I would binge hard sometime during the week I am sure to compensate but it feels weird being at 1200 and even a little above. Feels like I am going to gain weight and it scares me.

Sounds like you'd benefit by having ED group therapy. You sound like you need reality checks frequently. Maybe discuss this with the psychiatrist next week.

This week, don't wait until 4 AM to get in your 1200 calories. Your body won't let you sleep due to hunger because you are not fueling it adequately.

Raynne413

sarsather wrote: »

Thanks for all of the input and encouraging words.

Today went by fairly okay. So I went to Walmart and bought all new food for kitchen. Avoided trigger foods like ice cream or cereals or chips etc. Bought alot of produce and good stuff. Had oatmeal for breakfast which I am unsure if it keeps me full very long. Made a lavash wrap with Deli oven roasted turkey and tuna and veggies with a big bowl of broccoli. Then had a bowl of greek yogurt nonfat plain 1 cup mixed with 1 cup of quaker granola. Did not realize granola was 400 cslories. High fiber but not worth the calories to me.... plus the sweetness made me wanna binge the whole box so I quickly threw rest away to save myself from a potential binge.

Then I stayed up late because I am an evening shifter so I normally work 3 to 1130 and come home and hop on elliptical and then shower so I stay up late and then sleep in since I won't work again til 3pm. So my meals are a little confusing in terms of timing. I tried to exercize and have that be it at 900 cslories, but my body at 4am here as I was failing asleep woke me up and I needed something. Had a greek yogurt and 2 bananas which I am not proud of. Back to bed now. My calories at 1230 for the day then but I was on elliptical for 30 minutes straight going fast.

Before this and my recovery here, I used to eat 800 or so calories a day and be fine. Of course I would binge hard sometime during the week I am sure to compensate but it feels weird being at 1200 and even a little above. Feels like I am going to gain weight and it scares me.

Seriously, 800 calories is not enough for your body to exist off of. I have been in your shoes, and it wasn't pretty. Please see my previous post and read it all the way through.

mccindy72

You are not eating enough if you are going to exercise as well. 1200 calories per day isn't enough for exercising along with your daily life. You certainly aren't going to gain weight, and a yogurt and a couple of bananas to bring you 1200 calories is not a binge.
The suggestion someone gave to find a BED group is a good one.

alittlelife14

This week I have came close and basically been at 1200 cslories which has been mentally hard but physically better for me I believe. I have stayed off the scale because I am scared to know what it Wil read. Since I was eating around 700 calories per day aside from my Binged I was still losing a decent amount. I just feel bugger and probably do weigh a fee more lbs since I have finally started to eat more and such
Feels weird.

I ate well this week. Today was kind of iffy. Woke up and had a greek yogurt and then later had 1 full egg, 3 egg white and mushroom and veggies mixed in. Then to celebrate the week boyfriend took me out to eat and I got a salmon blt on ciabatta and they had garlic fries and a small dinner salad with it. I came home much later and had a small serving of oatmeal too.

I am starting to think I should stop eating oatmeal due to the high carb levels and it's sweetness with the fruit I add makes me want to eat more sweet foods. Feeling kind of vulnerable and scared and don't want to really cut more foods out but I ju st feel the less sugar the better because m self control is lacking.

I almost think I have diabetes.. the last 3 nights at 4am I have woken up and needed, I mean meeded, to eat something and my body wanted sweet so I had oatmeal with fruit.

Also the one other th I no is that now that I have increased my overall intakes my lower portion of my stomach feels and looks a little bloated in am odd way. Can this be a result of eating at a normal amount and stopping the deficit?

jjhall1990

Well done - I think you are doing great, I know how hard it can be and the cravings that just wont go away. I am in the same boat where I do very well for a period of time and then I just have a mad meal that turns into a day or 2 and then im back to the beginning where I think why the hell did I do that..but then I always do it again.

For me the most important thing is that you always get back on the horse which it sounds like you are doing, when you are eating healthy it is so hard to carry on..I always think what is the point in losing weight I just want to eat yummy food. But after a bad meal or a binge I always (most of the time) think that was stupid and just get back to it tomorrow. So carry on this path it does get easier - I tend to find that when you are 2-3 weeks into your eating pattern that cravings become a lot less frequent as your body has adjusted.

I also struggle with eating below what MFP tells me too, the best I can say on this is to not feel bad for eating the calories it tells you too. If I am under the calories and I have a craving I will eat it and you shouldnt feel bad about it onee bit. 2000 calories is what women should be eating a day to maintain weight generally, so unless you are eating hugely in excess of this each day you are not going to drasticly gain weight.

So dont focus too much on the weight you think you will be putting on by eating carbs or little sweet treat you are doing great and just carry on !!

Good luck