Online relationships can ruin real life ones

bikeswimrunnergal
bikeswimrunnergal Posts: 15
in Chit-Chat
Why do people allow online relationships to ruin those in real life? Is it the excitement, the attention, the secrecy, the fact that you are hidden behind a computer? Why cross the line and start chatting with someone? Why go even further to meet in person? Are S/O really ok with this kind of friendship or relationship?
«1

Replies

  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,993 Member
    If it's going on, then there really isn't a "real life" relationship.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • ScatteredThoughts
    ScatteredThoughts Posts: 3,562 Member
    Are you talking about a particular instance? If so, perhaps some more context is in order. I can see people meeting after chatting online.. Meeting does not mean something improper is going to happen.

    And there are people who initially meet others in real life, and do things they should not.

    **edited for wording**
  • taycheese
    taycheese Posts: 87 Member
    You're hiding behind a computer asking those questions right now.
  • wanderlustlover
    wanderlustlover Posts: 84 Member
    I'm confused where this is coming from, and how it's inappropriate except by the choices of the two people meeting in person. The situation itself is not improper. I have dozens of internet friends (in dozens of types of groups and interests). I got on trips with them, yearly, travel and go to conventions annuals, travel to their homes for events and them to mine for the same.

    And there's nothing inappropriate about it. It's just friends.



    If people are choosing to cheat, it's not the medium you need to be blaming. It's the persons in question. The internet does not make you cheat on anyone.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    did you do this or have this happen to you?
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    Depends on what kind of relationship it is. I'm single, but I have several married or committed men on my FL. I've met one of them in person, and I've PMed with some others. Thing is, I'm a good person. I would never do anything to bring dishonor on a friend, a friend's wife/girlfriend, or myself by behaving in a way that could endanger his relationship with her. So you do you, and I'll do me.
  • fShaw86
    fShaw86 Posts: 878 Member
    I was getting to know this really amazing sports commentator through a website, and was pretty bummed to find out he'd been lying about being single. He was married to a very beautiful woman and had a baby son. I did ask him about it, and he denied it. I don't understand how he could have done what he did. What if his wife found out?
  • PlayerHatinDogooder
    PlayerHatinDogooder Posts: 1,018 Member
    Well . . . how else are we supposed to get laid?
  • bikeswimrunnergal
    bikeswimrunnergal Posts: 15
    I was looking for why you think some people allow this to happen. If anyone has had an online relationship ruin a real life one maybe you can answer this for us. I see it happen even on here and I am curious.
  • Big_Bad
    Big_Bad Posts: 57
    People connect online in the same way that they do in real life. There's just a wider array of people and it's easier to find people with things in common.

    Sometimes people use relationships with people online as an escape. But you could say the same thing about real life affairs.'

    I just think it's a differen outlet. Nothing special in and of itself.
  • chubby_checkers
    chubby_checkers Posts: 2,352 Member
    did you do this or have this happen to you?

    Next time on Maury...
  • lisamarie1780
    lisamarie1780 Posts: 432 Member
    If it's going on, then there really isn't a "real life" relationship.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    exactly.
  • Mainebikerchick
    Mainebikerchick Posts: 1,573 Member
    Depends on what kind of relationship it is. I'm single, but I have several married or committed men on my FL. I've met one of them in person, and I've PMed with some others. Thing is, I'm a good person. I would never do anything to bring dishonor on a friend, a friend's wife/girlfriend, or myself by behaving in a way that could endanger his relationship with her. So you do you, and I'll do me.

    I like you. :flowerforyou:
  • Sonj1973
    Sonj1973 Posts: 188 Member
    HI there Bikeswimrunner :)..... I had a look at some of the feedback and theirs some fair points made..... By reading your comment would it be fair to assume that your relationship (s) have been affected in this way, and if you would like to chat to someone in relation to this I would be happy to listen :)
  • shutupandlift13
    shutupandlift13 Posts: 727 Member
    People will cheat if they want to cheat. Each couple determines their own definition of cheating. This site is full of a lot of low self-esteems and some people that are willing to take advantage of that as well. But those people probably would've been looking for compliments, reassurance somewhere in their real life too, the internet is just more convenient.
  • lisamarie1780
    lisamarie1780 Posts: 432 Member
    Depends on what kind of relationship it is. I'm single, but I have several married or committed men on my FL. I've met one of them in person, and I've PMed with some others. Thing is, I'm a good person. I would never do anything to bring dishonor on a friend, a friend's wife/girlfriend, or myself by behaving in a way that could endanger his relationship with her. So you do you, and I'll do me.

    does his wife know you met with her husband?
  • babyj0
    babyj0 Posts: 531 Member
    Most of the time people are looking for attention elsewhere, and may lack some self-confidence in real life.
  • BrokenButterfly
    BrokenButterfly Posts: 224
    Some of the most amazing people i've met have been through talking online first. Especially my boyfriend. We are in a long distance relationship that has been going strong for almost 2 years.
  • shrinkingWITS
    shrinkingWITS Posts: 108
    Depends on what kind of relationship it is. I'm single, but I have several married or committed men on my FL. I've met one of them in person, and I've PMed with some others. Thing is, I'm a good person. I would never do anything to bring dishonor on a friend, a friend's wife/girlfriend, or myself by behaving in a way that could endanger his relationship with her. So you do you, and I'll do me.

    Well said.
  • mamosh81
    mamosh81 Posts: 409 Member
    depends really if it was cyber and sexual id be completely against it if someone if in a relationship thats just a no go.

    But i have a really close male online friend i been talking to for over 8 year before i even met my boyfriend and i dont think i would stop talking to him just because my S/O asked me to but i have no problem leaving the chat window open so my boyfriend can read what we are saying and he knows i am talking to him and its not even close to being anything sexual.
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    If people are going to fool around, and they don't use the internet, they'll use the bars or the streetwalkers. Why they do it is usually because they're bored and extremely self-absorbed.
  • mrs_mab
    mrs_mab Posts: 1,024 Member
    If you are keeping it from your S/O then what you have isn't a "real life" relationship to begin with.....Sorry.....
  • PHATFOBIA
    PHATFOBIA Posts: 15
    I think it falls into the the category of '**** happens'.
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
    Some people like the attention, maybe they're not getting enough to fuel them at home, perhaps they've grown apart from their SO.

    I don't know, I am a faithful person so I can be trusted to talk to a man without having to cross a line. I wouldn't want it done to me so I don't do it. I don't this it's cool like, especially when people have young kids but whatever, it's not my business.

    It definitely does happen though. Maybe some people can meet up, have sex and go home to their SO without anything changing but yes, online relationships can ruin your real life relationship. It only happens if you allow it and perhaps this also only happens when something is wrong at home in the first place.
  • bikeswimrunnergal
    bikeswimrunnergal Posts: 15
    does his wife know you met with her husband?

    Does she?
  • zerryz
    zerryz Posts: 168 Member
    Online relationships are entirely part of real life. Just an additional outlet for people to communicate and express who they are.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Well first, having converstaions with others online isn't bad, unless they are completely inapproriate conversations. People will NEVER get all the interaction and support they need from one person so they should go out and make friends to talk with online or in real life.

    That said, when you corss the line and depend more on others for support, then you are really not honoring your partner.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,783 Member
    If you are keeping it from your S/O then what you have isn't a "real life" relationship to begin with.....Sorry.....

    So to have a "real life" relationship, I must report back to my husband every interaction I have with a member of the opposite sex, or does that rule just apply to online interactions?
  • JenS0301
    JenS0301 Posts: 37 Member
    My husband has friends and an ex that he emails. He feels it is fine while I on the other hand feel it is very inappropriate for a married person. We both understand that something so harmless turns bad in seconds. People think they will never get caught but it always finds a way Out of darkness and hurts everyone around you. Karma can be such a *****. :-)
  • Sublimely_Self_Righteous
    Sublimely_Self_Righteous Posts: 429
    Offline relationships with people can ruin real life ones too.

Categories