I Think I Might Need Help (Vent)
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dkingdom1
Posts: 60 Member
I originally posted this in one of my groups, but wanted to post it here as well for additional feedback:
This is kind of a spinoff on one of the threads on the main forum (the one about eating cookies) and I have to say that I'm completely upset with myself. It's so hard to want to lose weight, to try to stay within your calorie range, and to try to make the best choices in my day. Having just 1-2 cookies won't cut it because that's 400 calories wasted right there that I could have used on something more filling. But the plate of cookies still excites me (and I'm exhausted) so it feels better to take and take and take. My Gut tells me to not even go near them, but then they're the *only* thing that occupies my mind. I have been getting better at feeling when I'm hungry/kind of hungry, but once there's sweets, that feeling is gone.
In general, I feel that I think about food more than others do and I feel that whenever people see me, I'm eating and nothing else. It's one of those situations where I do know what to do, but I don't know how or I don't know "why". Or maybe this is just a slip up day but then I remember that I went over my goal on Monday, last week entirely, and the majority of the week before. And the scale no longer ranges from 162-165, but rather 164-167 and that makes me feel that all the work I've put in over the past three months was for almost nothing. It makes me feel sad and left out when I see all the images on media and all of the other fitness pages with all the smaller girls with abs and muscles promoting that only these people are "entitled", for a lack of better words. It makes me devestated that I'm not favored in society, and that's certainly true, but no matter how much I try I always fall back and even if I spring forward, I'll never be good enough. I want to ramble more, but I feel like I don't want to overwhelm any of you reading this. Sorry for the stream of conciousness I just had to let it all out. What do I do?
This is kind of a spinoff on one of the threads on the main forum (the one about eating cookies) and I have to say that I'm completely upset with myself. It's so hard to want to lose weight, to try to stay within your calorie range, and to try to make the best choices in my day. Having just 1-2 cookies won't cut it because that's 400 calories wasted right there that I could have used on something more filling. But the plate of cookies still excites me (and I'm exhausted) so it feels better to take and take and take. My Gut tells me to not even go near them, but then they're the *only* thing that occupies my mind. I have been getting better at feeling when I'm hungry/kind of hungry, but once there's sweets, that feeling is gone.
In general, I feel that I think about food more than others do and I feel that whenever people see me, I'm eating and nothing else. It's one of those situations where I do know what to do, but I don't know how or I don't know "why". Or maybe this is just a slip up day but then I remember that I went over my goal on Monday, last week entirely, and the majority of the week before. And the scale no longer ranges from 162-165, but rather 164-167 and that makes me feel that all the work I've put in over the past three months was for almost nothing. It makes me feel sad and left out when I see all the images on media and all of the other fitness pages with all the smaller girls with abs and muscles promoting that only these people are "entitled", for a lack of better words. It makes me devestated that I'm not favored in society, and that's certainly true, but no matter how much I try I always fall back and even if I spring forward, I'll never be good enough. I want to ramble more, but I feel like I don't want to overwhelm any of you reading this. Sorry for the stream of conciousness I just had to let it all out. What do I do?
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Replies
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A few options:
1. Journal. Explore your feelings, what is going on when you're having these cravings, binges, whatever applies. Lonely, sad, bored... then address the underlying issue.
2. Get out and do something. Go for a workout. Call a friend. Knit.
3. Stock your house with some healthier treats that you can eat in moderation. Maybe some lower calorie frozen yogurt. Maybe berries with a bit of milk and sugar. Maybe a single square of high quality dark chocolate. Again, figure out what works, possibly with the help of a journal.0 -
I have no idea what your trying to say.
but I will say this. keep a few bags of fun size M&M's in your pocket. You know that each packet is 70 calories
Every time you see a cookie, or something that your body is dying for, grab a bag and walk away until the urge is gone
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Is your daily calorie need so low that 400 calories would really be impossible to fit in to your day? I often have 200-800 calories in snacky foods on a given day while still meeting my calorie goals - as an active and obese male my calorie limit is likely a lot higher than yours, but not every calorie needs to be filling. Are you trying to lose too aggressively for your body size? Can you increase your physical activity to increase your daily calorie needs?
Do you have any snacks that you like that are at least somewhat filling that you can substitute?0 -
Oh no, you are not the only one with that "problem" I still think about food ALL the time even after losing 40 lbs + but I managed to lose it and keep it off and giving up sometimes so Yeah you are normal ...thats the good news you can "struggle" and still make it
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Check out my profile page. I used to struggle like that, but not anymore.0
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You have to learn to love yourself. There is only you saying you aren't good enough.
We all know the images in most media are generally touched up, and/or are of women who work way harder to achieve the image they are portraying than most of us want to. It is not our livelihood; we just want to be healthy.
Set your goal to a half pound loss. That should give you more to eat.
Factor into your daily snacks something sweet.
If you want a cookie, but don't have enough calories left, share it.
Make some bite size cookies for yourself.
Accept that it is a slow process, your human, and some days, or weeks, you will be over your calories.
Keep moving forward, it doesn't matter how slow, you will get there. Love yourself and make it happen for you.
Cheers, h.0 -
Let's start with what you should NOT do. You should NOT purchase / bring home the food you know you can't control yourself with eating when it's there. If it's not there to eat then it doesn't get eaten.
And if you do unfortunately have the experience of eating 400 caps worth of cookies then log it. it's gonna be painful to log it but just doing that helps deter you again because you will see in your calorie allotment that it just isn't worth it.
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Yeah, I could have written that verbatim. I think there's a lot of people who resemble your post! First things first: You are human. It's not "if" you're going to stumble but "when". That means making peace with imperfection - the #1 thing in the "don't sweat the small stuff - and it's all small stuff" book. The sooner you get used to the idea that you will stumble, and the sooner you pick yourself back up and dust yourself off, the better.
We all hate it when we have that sugar binge - I had one this afternoon. Am I going to log it: yes. Am I going to dwell on it and tell myself I'm the greatest failure ever? NOT A CHANCE!! I'm human, it's going to happen. Move on.
The reason I can say that is: looking at yesterdays journal, it was qute a low-fat day. Today, the thing I binged on had lots of fat. Hmmmm.....Make sure that doesn't happen again, and I might be able to avoid the binge!!! There's always things you can learn from tracking your food from day to day.
Also - there's things I do to keep stuff out of the house. I love queso, but my family....not so much. I'll go to Don Pablo's and get a kid's sized queso, and count out my 8 chips. That way, I get my fix, and it's not so detrimental to the food journal. WHen I go to Olive Garden, I get the Pasta Fagioli soup - they call it an Italian Chili. It has beans, carrots, celery, tomatoes, meat - so lots of protein and fiber. AND it's the "endless bowl" sort of thing. Very filling, and you can even have a breadstick.
I do also have a "snack box" where I keep protein/fiber bars, caramel pecan/fiber clusters, baggies of pretzels....it's my 100 calorie-ish snack box. My daughters even raid the box from time to time. Other favorites are light string cheese, and greek yogurt with nature valley protein granola.
There are things you can do that will make the journey easier - it's a matter of discovering what they are. Make sure you realize too that it's not necessarily all about willpower, but discipline. If you want to play piano, you practice day after day after day. If you want to lose weight, you journal your food intake day after day after day. You don't play "Scott Joplin's Entertainer" in a day, and you aren't going to lose 20 pounds in a day. It takes time. 0-2 pounds a week is average.
Stick with it- it'll happen.1 -
Challenge your thoughts.
Don't believe everything you think.0 -
One method I found that works is the "eat in bed after dinner" method.
After eating all your main meals for the day, whatever calories are left between your total and goal = treat time!
I found it stops the temptation to snack during the day, so I have 100% of my calories free to "spend" on my main (filling) meals. Once I've eaten my (decent) dinner, the calories left are spent on whatever I want.
It's much easier to say "no" to high-calorie/low-satisfaction foods when you know you'll be able to have some guilt-free later.0 -
One method I found that works is the "eat in bed after dinner" method.
After eating all your main meals for the day, whatever calories are left between your total and goal = treat time!
I found it stops the temptation to snack during the day, so I have 100% of my calories free to "spend" on my main (filling) meals. Once I've eaten my (decent) dinner, the calories left are spent on whatever I want.
It's much easier to say "no" to high-calorie/low-satisfaction foods when you know you'll be able to have some guilt-free later.
Yep, I do this too!0 -
I'm also one of those people who could eat a plateful of cookies. Or two. Once I started eating them, I couldn't stop. (Which is why I've never ever had cookies of any kind in my own household) But what I've found helpful through MFP is, before you take a bite or after you've had your first cookie from the batch, LOG IT!! When you log the 1 or 2 cookies (or however many you're planning to eat) right at the start, it is much easier to stop before the plate is empty. I swear, this is like the only thing that has ever helped me with this issue, besides never being near cookies in the first place.0
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rankinsect wrote: »Is your daily calorie need so low that 400 calories would really be impossible to fit in to your day? I often have 200-800 calories in snacky foods on a given day while still meeting my calorie goals - as an active and obese male my calorie limit is likely a lot higher than yours, but not every calorie needs to be filling. Are you trying to lose too aggressively for your body size? Can you increase your physical activity to increase your daily calorie needs?
Do you have any snacks that you like that are at least somewhat filling that you can substitute?
It's not that my calorie needs are low. I'm 19, female, 5"4. My weight fluctuates in the 160s and I want to be around 140. If I set it to lose 1 pound/week, the goal is 1600. If I set it to lose 0.5 lb/wk, the goal is 1860. I DID make cookies fit into may day before but it's one of those situations where it works the first few days and then I blow it. Or if I'm at an event at school/work, 2 cookies will keep me ravenous because I feel like I have to eat ALL of them.
And I do excercise, typically Mon.-Fri. Doing cardio 5x/week, and lifting 2-3x/wk., so I feel like that's already enough. It's certainly prevented me from *gaining* weight, but hasn't helped to lose.
As for snacks I like, I don't know. Many times, I *think* I'll want vegetables or I think I want a salad because my body needs the nutrients but then I feel like I'm not enjoying it enough or that something is missing. Nuts and dried fruits are okay but one serving is pretty small (IF I was only having that serving). I prefer the "full" feeling after a meal, so snacks aren't my preference because then I'll just want to eat and I'll feel just as hungry with or without the snack. Any advice on dealing with this problem?0 -
Ya know I can get obsessed with the sweets too and completely blow a day. I've learned to make conscious decision - I look at the sweet and ask myself what I want more - a bit of that sweet or to be slim/healthy/happy - whatever. It's like an addiction. Once I put a piece of sugar in my mouth, I'm off to the races. Then I feel bad about myself. I had to make a decision how I was going to eat - then the decision is made. When I see that temptation, I don't need to decide cause I've already decided. I force it out of my head by thinking about achieving my goal. Good luck0
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It helps me a lot to log foods before I eat them. That way I know ahead of time if what I'm about to eat is going to blow the day; also, it gets me in the habit of planning what to eat (and how much of it) rather than being guided entirely by whim and appetite. I wouldn't be this size if my whim-and-appetite mechanisms weren't a bit out of whack! So I'm learning to switch to another method of deciding what to eat next. It also helps me not to snack between meals, though I know that's different for everyone. It's just that I find it easier to control how much of something I eat if I've budgeted it into a meal. Then, when the meal's over, I try to get out of "food" mode completely and make sure I'm busy with other things, preferably things that keep my hands fully occupied--and, in extreme cases of temptation, far from a kitchen, like a walk or a trip to the gym.0
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I can eat sweet stuff in moderation within my calorie allowance but not toffee popcorn -I cant just have a handful, got to eat the whole bag....For this reason I just don't EVER eat it. When I'm shopping and come to thataisle I consciously have to avert my eyes and tell myself I want to see the pounds disappear more than I want to eat that gorgeous toffee popcorn. You haven't got a problem, you're normal, you just got to decide what you want more, your weight loss goal or cookies.0
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Many others have said this already, and it works for me as well...pre-log your day! It's so much easier to stop at 1 cookie if you have your food all logged for the day. It provides a visual reference and motivation that you can use throughout the day to keep you on track. If you need to, then also physically write a small goal down that you can look at if you start to veer away from your weight loss goals. A mini-goal that you can focus on for a week, a month, or however long you like. It can be something as simple as "One treat each day". Define the treat clearly...1 cookie, or 1 scoop of ice cream, etc.
Good luck! You can do this!0 -
I found that cutting all carbs eliminated my sugar cravings. Not just reduced but gone. Before I cut carbs I was so hungry. I needed carbs and sugar for energy and if I didn't eat every couple of hours my energy dipped, I got shaky, and often headaches showed up. Cutting out added sugars and keeping carbs low fixed it.
I know it isn't for everyone but it can really help some people.
Best of luck.0 -
I also enjoy the full feeling after meals. So I eat all of my calories in a 8 hour window. I have 3 meals a day. Breakfast at 11, lunch at 2, and dinner at 5. This way I am able to have large very filling meals. If I have calories left at the end of the day I use those for treats.0
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One method I found that works is the "eat in bed after dinner" method.
After eating all your main meals for the day, whatever calories are left between your total and goal = treat time!
I found it stops the temptation to snack during the day, so I have 100% of my calories free to "spend" on my main (filling) meals. Once I've eaten my (decent) dinner, the calories left are spent on whatever I want.
It's much easier to say "no" to high-calorie/low-satisfaction foods when you know you'll be able to have some guilt-free later.
Love this idea, I do it as well and at the end of the day just before bed I have a full glass of water and then decide if I am going to have that snack or not...by then I am usually full and I am too tired to grab that treat anyway.
I also 'bank' calories during the week - by eating under my goal and exercising, I will then have one 'treat' meal on the weekend or have 2 glasses of wine instead of 1 at a function. I only ever use half or under half of what I have 'banked' and always in the same week - so I don't carry over any extra calories for eating into the next week. This has helped me cope with the feeling that I am being 'denied' something which would cause me to binge.0
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