...I really need a Lap band?

Options
Malosis
Malosis Posts: 9
in Motivation and Support
To start off, I am a twenty-one year old girl. Lately, I've been extremely depressed and down with my weight and suddenly my mom mentioned that I should get a lap band. I laughed it off and said whatever. Over the next few months, my family began to talk about it over and over. Even the most mature and cynical of my family are like "Get a lap band! Get a lap band." God, that doesn't hurt or anything. I mean, I knew I fell off the wagon hard, but they act like I just can't do it! Ugh.

I'm just at a loss. They won't listen to me and they actually scheduled an appointment for me. I'm going to push for a dietician or a therapist to help overcome my food addiction, but I feel powerless right now. Like they actually don't believe I can lose the weight myself and now I have no support... It just sucks. I don't want a lap band. I don't want surgery. I don't want pills. I want my family to think like I do about this nonsense.

I don't know what to do anymore.
«1

Replies

  • rolemodel69
    rolemodel69 Posts: 365
    Options
    How is your family eating habits? Have you ever asked yourself why you are fat? Do you eat your ''emotion'' sort of speak?

    I mean most people can lose weight to an healthy level without any surgery if they don't have any medical condition and have the will and support to get there.
  • RCottonRPh
    RCottonRPh Posts: 148
    Options
    You are 21. They cannot do anything to you without your consent. Sounds like you need to stand up for yourself before it's too late.
  • Bridgetthegre
    Bridgetthegre Posts: 85 Member
    Options
    You're 21. Which isn't very old, but you don't need to push for a dietician, you need to do it. Do a web search, or check out who is covered by your insurance, or even make an appointment with your family doctor and ask for a referral. Your family might (or might not) mean well, but this is YOUR life. When they tell you you 'need' a lap band, smile, thank them for their concern, and tell them you've made an appointment. Or else tell them to jump in a lake and let you worry about you. The first is more polite, but since it is your life, you should do whichever one reminds you that you're the one with the power.
  • holliebevineau
    holliebevineau Posts: 441 Member
    Options
    Your body and Your choice. If You believe that You can do it then You can!!!
  • Maggie_Pie1
    Maggie_Pie1 Posts: 322 Member
    Options
    don't let them push you into a surgery you don't want. And don't let them make you pay for a doctor's visit for even a consultation if you don't want to do it.

    You can do this. Use this to motivate you to prove them wrong.
  • Malosis
    Malosis Posts: 9
    Options
    I never really thought of myself as an emotional eater, but I must be. I always just thought I was obsessed with food. And that was it. I'm just always eating. But I'm trying to resist it.

    And my mother, all she eats is bbq wings and diet mountain dew and she had a gastric bypass really early. I just feel quite gross when I think of it and I don't want surgery for me.
  • kelseyhere
    kelseyhere Posts: 1,123 Member
    Options
    Good for you for wanting to lose the weight naturally. Even if you get a lap band, you will still have the emotional side to deal with, and that's what your family needs to understand. The lap band will fail miserably if you don't deal with WHY you are overeating in the first place. Plus, you want to be healthy for the rest of your life, right? Explain to your family that to be successful in the long-term, you need to learn to eat right and fuel your body properly, and a lap band is just an easy way out.
  • Malosis
    Malosis Posts: 9
    Options
    Good for you for wanting to lose the weight naturally. Even if you get a lap band, you will still have the emotional side to deal with, and that's what your family needs to understand. The lap band will fail miserably if you don't deal with WHY you are overeating in the first place. Plus, you want to be healthy for the rest of your life, right? Explain to your family that to be successful in the long-term, you need to learn to eat right and fuel your body properly, and a lap band is just an easy way out.

    I've already explained to then what my concerns were about the long-term condition of my overeating and they won't listen. Then they get angry with me for throwing their idea away.

    I mean, it just looks like I'll have to do this the hard way and be firm with them about how I feel. I'm still going to the appointment, but I'm pushing for a therapist because I do have a lot of emotional issues that may be contributing to this.
  • Maggie_Pie1
    Maggie_Pie1 Posts: 322 Member
    Options
    I've already explained to then what my concerns were about the long-term condition of my overeating and they won't listen. Then they get angry with me for throwing their idea away.

    You mentioned that your mom had gastric bypass - have the others had surgeries as well? This might be root cause of them pushing you into it - they couldn't do it on their own, and now they want you to get the surgery as well. If you are successful, then you are reminding them of their own failures. I'm cynical by nature, so I could be totally wrong, but once you mentioned that your mom had had surgery, it began to click for me that there might be more to their pushing you into surgery...

    It might not be that they don't think you can do it. It might be because they are afraid you can!
  • Malosis
    Malosis Posts: 9
    Options
    Well, she mentioned that she just managed to get down to her ideal weight (which is horrifically kind of skinny) just now at 50 years old. I guess she just wants me to lose while I'm young.
  • MyOwnSunshine
    MyOwnSunshine Posts: 1,312 Member
    Options
    You're 21 years old. Why is anyone other than you scheduling medical appointments for you? Why do you think you need to "push to see a dietitian or counselor?" As an adult, you determine what medical care you will have. No one can or should try to force you to have an elective surgery against your will. That's just crazy! I strongly recommend counseling to help you set some boundaries with your family members, as that may be a big part of your weight issues.

    ... and as someone who has had WLS and been quite successful, I would highly recommend against a Lap Band. If you choose to look into WLS, don't do a lap band -- they have terrible complications and a very poor long term success rate.
  • susannamarie
    susannamarie Posts: 2,148 Member
    Options
    I would agree that there's probably components of both "I couldn't do it myself, so she can't" and "I want her to be healthier and enjoy her youth more".

    I think your misgivings about surgery are probably correct. I would try to make an appointment with a dietician.
  • lilbearzmom
    lilbearzmom Posts: 600 Member
    Options
    I did not have the band- I had VSG, HOWEVER, there is no way you should let them bully you into surgery if you don't want it. It is a last resort, in my opinion. Also, the band has a very high failure rate. Good luck and get away from these people!
  • Cheechos
    Cheechos Posts: 293
    Options
    Reading this made me really sad. PLEASE don't let your family pressure you into having an operation you are not comfortable with. If you want to lose weight, then you can do it yourself in a healthy and non-invasive way. Surgery can be complicated, life-threatening, and should only be relied upon in an emergency situation. If you need a support system to help you take care of yourself the way YOU want to, then MFP can help. c: You'll meet a lot of nice people here who will back you up and encourage you to do your best. Remember that the rights to your body belong to you and you alone!
  • RobynMWilson
    RobynMWilson Posts: 1,540 Member
    Options
    Seriously? I have a friend who had lap band surgery, lost 50lbs, and stalled out because she didn't make the lifestyle changes necessary. Now she's been in my Challenge Groups and doing well because she has made the necessary changes, but the lap band itself is not a miracle cure. You still have to want it bad enough to make those changes, and quite honestly, my friend Amy could have done it without the band!

    You're over 18,, right? So your family cannot force you to do anything! Do any of them have weight problems? Sounds like they really don't even understand!
  • spectralmoon
    spectralmoon Posts: 1,230 Member
    Options
    It's not worth it yet. 21 is a great age to start taking control of your environmental factors (that you have the actual power to change), and I personally believe that this site can be a firm backbone for anyone that can dedicate themselves to staying "the course" with it, through the hard and the trying times, to the lose the weight they want gone and to rebuild themselves as they see fit and right.

    Honestly, from an uneducated point of view about LapBand, I wouldn't go to the doctor's appointment about it. I feel like I would lose hope hearing a doctor try to convince me that it's something I "needed" or that it would be "so much easier", and THIS (being MFP) is something that you can definitely use, at your own pace, as intensely and/or as long as you choose.

    There are a lot of people that will back you on this as well. :flowerforyou:
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
    Options
    To start off, I am a twenty-one year old girl. Lately, I've been extremely depressed and down with my weight and suddenly my mom mentioned that I should get a lap band. I laughed it off and said whatever. Over the next few months, my family began to talk about it over and over. Even the most mature and cynical of my family are like "Get a lap band! Get a lap band." God, that doesn't hurt or anything. I mean, I knew I fell off the wagon hard, but they act like I just can't do it! Ugh.

    I'm just at a loss. They won't listen to me and they actually scheduled an appointment for me. I'm going to push for a dietician or a therapist to help overcome my food addiction, but I feel powerless right now. Like they actually don't believe I can lose the weight myself and now I have no support... It just sucks. I don't want a lap band. I don't want surgery. I don't want pills. I want my family to think like I do about this nonsense.

    I don't know what to do anymore.

    1) you don't need surgery
    2) you are not addicted to food
    3) all you need is the right info and a desire to change your life

    Here's how you can get started. It's easier than you think.

    You just have to be patient and change your lifestyle. That's it. No other secret than that...

    Here are my tips for those getting started:

    1) Determine your BMR/TDEE so that you know what amount of calories (on average) you should be eating to lose weight at a healthy pace. If you use the MFP tools, they'll compute this for you.
    2) Log everything. Don't eat it if you can't log it. Take a multivitamin everyday with food.
    3) Don't drink your calories. Try to get to a point where all you drink is water.
    4) Walk or jog or run... a lot! Then start strength training when you're up to it.

    Forget the scale. Don't obsess about daily changes in weight. - they don't mean anything. What you should be focusing on are long term changes to your lifestyle. The weight WILL come off. You CAN do it. The math works and it doesn't lie. It just takes time.

    This is not a diet and you don't have to deny yourself anything you crave, you just have to eat in moderation and be accountable for what you put in your mouth. For example, if you go over on Monday by 300 calories, then go under on Tuesday and Wednesday by 150 calories each day. Be honest with your log. Be accurate. Be accountable. You can lose the weight and it will happen faster than you realize when you make this a lifestyle change.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Options
    You do know that you still have to learn about portion control and change your habits right? the surgery isn't going to mean automatic success and the failure rate is high with these type of surgeries because people don't fully comprehend this and end up in the same situation.
  • curtissoph
    curtissoph Posts: 64 Member
    Options
    I know most people have success from weight loss surgeries, but my mother had gastric bypass surgery when I was 13 and it was an awful decision. I hear it's different from other types of weight loss surgery because it's irreversible, but basically not only did she gain heaps of the weight back as she hadn't changed her habits, she developed a million other problems too. Seven years later, she can barely stay awake for 8 hours in a row, let alone move around the house. I know the chances of this happening to other people are slim- it turns out the surgeon she went to was pretty bad and one of his later patients ended up dying on the table and he got his medical license taken away or something- but because there is even the slimmest chance, I always beg people who are thinking about it to try another way. I would never wish what happened to my mother on anyone.
  • droppinlbslikeangels
    droppinlbslikeangels Posts: 86
    Options
    Okay, I went to a bariatric surgery seminar when I was 17. And here is my advice:

    Go to a seminar. I learned so much about the different types of surgeries (the sleeve, the bypass, and the band) and I also learned about the diet I would have to follow afterwards.

    You can follow the diet of the lap band without the risk of surgery, jut eating larger portions.

    Some insurance companies require 6 months of visits with a nutritionist before surgery anyway. I'm 18 now and my six months will be over in september. I have decided I don't want the surgery and I haven't been sued yet. ;)

    You can get the help without having to get the surgery, and no one can make you do it. You can learn the skills and do it on our own and it will be so worth it.

Categories