Mom's a hypocrite :'(

wbandel

It sounds to me like she wants you to have a better healthy life than she has had. I know a lot of parents get so busy and stuck in their ways and they think "it's over" and there are no second chances for them. So she may be trying to control you because she wants you to do well, and also because she thinks she can't do it herself anymore.She could be eating the junky food because she's resigned to the "fact" that she'll never lose the weight, so "what does a couple more lbs matter". Don't let it get you down, keep going for yourself. Also, try to encourage her and let her know that there are a lot of older people who can change too. Anyways, I can't be positive about what makes your mom tick, but that seemed to be the case with my mom. Took me losing 70lbs before she said she was proud of me. I just keep trying to give her suggestions on what she could do to improve her health, but she seems pretty resigned to settling until she finds an easy out.

sunglasses_and_ocean_waves

You're not being whiney. You have a toxic, destructive mother, and it hurts. If she were a neighbor, you'd roll your eyes at her. But this is a woman you love who is suppose to take care of you. You can love her and still really dislike her. Count on your dad and don't discuss any of this stuff with your mom.

The reason you're an emotional eater probably stems from this woman. If you want to dig deep someday, I think that's the place to start.

hugs

Camera_BagintheUK

Sorry to hear you are getting no support at home. I'm glad you joined here, there are many supportive people here and I wish you all the best in your weight lose!

I do have some support. Dad's pretty good and he's trying to lose weight as well.

I did lose a whole bunch of weight before. I went from 175 to 145 my first year of college. I was walking around more because I had no money and no car. So I just packed healthy things and had to eat what I brought with me.

Then as I became member of clubs and had to stay and work on projects ( and had money lol) I started getting takeout and going out with friends. And gaining weight back.


Then I became a jobless graduate and I'm stuck at home bored and lonely and I eating my feelings.

It just bother's me how she says things like:

"I liked you when you where in your first year of college"
"I wish I had someone to tell me how fat I was getting when I was gaining weight"
"Let's start a diet pact so we can both wear those pretty dresses!"

and then sends me in the car to get her a cheeseburger, fries and gravy.

It sounds to me like she thinks she is being supportive, but she's just being very clumsy about it, and she's seeing you as an opportunity to put right what she hasn't managed to put right herself which isn't quite the same thing as offering unconditional love and support. If she's also overweight, she's likely had all these comments herself from other people. Maybe she's aware of the irony of being overweight herself and eating a bad diet and not being healthy, at the same time as trying to encourage you, which means she can't find an honest and generous way to do it. And maybe if she was able to give you the support you need, it would force her to face up to things in herself that she's buried out of harms way.

Why not take her up on her offer of a diet pact, and get her on here, and support each other and get support together? It would be dreadful if this drove a big wedge between you and your mum! You only have one mum and that's a relationship that's worth nurturing, annoyed as you feel now

Camera_BagintheUK

It sounds to me like she wants you to have a better healthy life than she has had. I know a lot of parents get so busy and stuck in their ways and they think "it's over" and there are no second chances for them. So she may be trying to control you because she wants you to do well, and also because she thinks she can't do it herself anymore.She could be eating the junky food because she's resigned to the "fact" that she'll never lose the weight, so "what does a couple more lbs matter". Don't let it get you down, keep going for yourself. Also, try to encourage her and let her know that there are a lot of older people who can change too. Anyways, I can't be positive about what makes your mom tick, but that seemed to be the case with my mom. Took me losing 70lbs before she said she was proud of me. I just keep trying to give her suggestions on what she could do to improve her health, but she seems pretty resigned to settling until she finds an easy out.

What she said ^^^ :flowerforyou:

Zombella

To me, it sounds like she is a toxic parent. When I was younger, I always remembered my mother complaining about how much she hated the way that she looked because she was fat. I remember waking up seeing her do a fitness video every once in awhile, but never changed her diet or got serious.. Then, she would look at her daughters, me included, and say well I weigh less than you! Or well these used to be your pants.. basically as long as she could wear her daughter's pants or say she weighed less than us, girls much younger than her, it made her feel better.

Ignore your mother, and I say don't tell her that you signed up. That just gives her a reason to use that against you.