Feel like a failure... 50lbs just seem undo able
gettingsexybck007
Posts: 23 Member
I lack motivation and can't seem to even stick to my short term goal which was to lose 5 pounds by 2/1/16. Just feel like its impossible. I need motivation and support as my Dr says I am morbidly obese and I have hbp. If possible to post pictures of your before/now pictures for a little kick? And how what did you do to get started on your weight loss journey? TIA #addme
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Motivation can't be given to you. You may get inspired, encouraged, and cheered on, but if you lack the motivation yourself to do anything, none of that will matter. So ask yourself, "Do I really want this?" If you really don't, then it's easy NOT to stick to any goal of any type.
It may have to start with just changing the size of plates you eat off of. Use a 9" plate instead of a 13" plate.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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start small - start by weighing all your food for example, without sticking to a specific calorie target. eat whatever you want but weigh it/log it all. go on a walk for 10 minutes a few times a week. try that for a few weeks and see what happens. for some people having a deadline works great, for others, having a deadline to lose a certain amount of weight just adds stress.0
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Me in February 2015 (372 lbs)
Me in November 2015 (155 lbs later)
Good Luck. You can do anything if you want it bad enough. You have complete control of your destination and the path you choose to get there. No excuses - pure beast mode. You can't dip your toes in the water when it comes to losing weight. Either jump all in and take the plunge for the results you want. Or stay and watch from the shoreline. It really is that simple. Go all in or you are wasting your time. Said with love!! xoxo
Sorry about the "graphic photos" but it is what it is.
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I started doing it and then the motivation came.
Be consistent in logging
Weigh and measure everything
Make small changes every week
-drink more water
- cut down on soda
- Cut down on junk food
- Find lower calorie ways to cook (bake vs fry)
- start purposeful exercise for me it was walking
Once you find you are able to control what goes in your mouth, start moving more.
I found a sport I enjoyed. Golf. Then I added time at the gym with a trainer. Now I play volleyball once a week. Next week I'm starting squash.
I lost 18 pounds so far. 20 more to my first goal and 40 to my ultimate goal weight. It took me 3 months so far. It may take me a year. But that's ok. Slow and steady. Consistency. When the numbers start to drop the motivation to continue will follow.0 -
This may be a silly means of motivation and some people may not agree with it but it was actually in part a Cracked article that helped me get kind of in the right mindset for working out and changing how I looked at exercise and diet.
http://www.cracked.com/article_18611_the-10-most-important-things-they-didnt-teach-you-in-school_p2.html
Check out #4.
Ninerbuff has the right of it. Ask yourself: "Is this what I really want? Do I want to feel healthy and more attractive? Do I want to be excited about trying on new outfits?" Etc, etc.
Just know that you will have to fight very hard for it. The body and better health that you're looking for is at the center of a piranha-filled moat! That is the nature of weight loss when you're coming from a lifestyle of less than stellar diet and physical activity. It also doesn't happen overnight. It's taken years for me to change how I looked at food and exercise. It's a lifestyle adjustment!
So many people on this website have been in the same position as yourself. I promise. It's a warm, supportive community. Check out the pics in the Success Stories section! It's quite exhilarating.
That's my two cents. I know everyone has their own style of motivation. I'm the type of person who is willing to go through big challenges if I know there's a pretty good chance of success as long as I've really pushed myself.
You can do it! Dive into that treacherous moat and swim!0 -
THe big fat pic is me at 225. The one next to it is about 200. The one in the grey shirt is 180ish. I am currently 175. 49 pounds down with an end goal of 145-150. It has taken me 160 days so far. And yes, that sucks major monkey butt. But I figure at my current rate, I'll be done by March. Yeah . .6-7-8 months to lose about 80 pounds.0 -
Ask yourself "Is this the life I want to have one year from now? Am I on the path to having the health I want?" If the answer is no, then you will find the motivation do what it takes. No number of looking at thin people will do that to you. You have to be honest with yourself, about what you want, about what you are willing to do, and about what you eat.
One year ago in November I had that moment. Today I'm more than 70 lbs lighter. Its a daily commitment to my future. I hope you can make the same commitment to yours.
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I'm learning something now that it's mostly food that you need to work on it's most of the battle and battling with your mind that you want to make small changes. I've been finding out that I can exercise as much as I want but if I don't reduce some calories at first and then change the foods like get in more vegetables and some fruit etc. I'm not going to see much in the way of change. I liked a lot of the advice up above and photos very helpful, everyone can take something away from all this.
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Learning yoga gave me the feeling of being in control of my mind and body and made it easy to stick to my goals!
Christmas 2015
February 2013, 75 pounds earlier0 -
Do you like your life as it is? Do you feel fit and healthy? Are you doing all the things you want to do? If so stay the way you are.
If your weight is causing you problems and you want to change then MFP is a great tool to help you make changes. It will take time... probably a year at least. Your weight is not going to go down every week. http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10084670/it-is-unlikely-that-you-will-lose-weight-consistently-i-e-weight-loss-is-not-linear/p1
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10179969/weight-loss-flow-chart-2-0/p1
I've never personally been successful with deadlines on weight loss. I'd focus on getting through each day/week at a time for now.
Start logging what you normally eat. Look at it honestly. Are a lot of your calories coming from certain foods or drinks? Are you getting enough protein? What kind of pattern do you see?
Work on weighing, measuring and logging all your food and drinks as accurately as you can. Then work on sticking to your calorie goal. Work on reducing portion sizes of higher calorie foods and increase portions of lower calorie foods.
If you can't image giving up a food forever then don't. A diet isn't going to help you if you can not sustain it.
Plan your eating as much as you can. If you eat out look up nutrition info and make a choice in advance. I have found pre-logging my whole day to be really helpful.
If you eat your emotions or stress eat then you need to find a different outlet to manage that.
Every day is a new day. You don't have to be perfect.
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I also have a little over 50 lbs left to lose. For me, its been cutting out soda. I'm a little over a week into it and have lost 5 lbs. I used to drink anywhere from 3-6 cans a day, it was actually pretty ridiculous. Now I just drink water or milk when I feel like it but I log everything. I feel like this is a big step for me so that's what I'm focusing on right now for the first 30 days. After I feel like I'm confident in my soda intake and I don't have to think about not drinking it, I'll move on to another area to focus on. I'm just doing baby steps at a time. No deadlines. I'm focusing on the inside and how I feel and the outside will follow. I have never, ever been able to see weight loss this way, I was always a "all or nothing" kind of person but that hasn't gotten me anywhere in the last few years so I'm taking it slow. I seen a quote that really stuck to me... "workout because you love your body, not because you hate it". I think if you're doing it for the wrong reasons (like I was all those previous times before) then it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.0
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No deadlines, no milestones, no pressure.
I'm not looking at it as a diet, more of a complete life overhaul!
I'm weighing everything and am trying to make the healthiest choices I can!
My goal from the start was to lose 86 lbs. I'm only a week in and have lost 6'7 lbs!
I know most of this will be water weight but I don't care, it still motivates me! Plus i'm making sure I get my 2 litres a day!0 -
Nothing is impossible. Maybe you won't lose that much, now, but any loss is a good start and a success to be celebrated with a non-food reward. Lifestyle changes and healthy habits are also to be commended. For example, having some fruit topped with a little light whipped topping for a bit of sweetness instead of a slice of cake. Swapping one thing for another can help. Make healthy swaps wherever you can as consistently as possible, while still indulging, within limits, every now and then. Enjoy the process and find some sort of fun exercise.0
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The worst thing you can do is nothing... The second worst thing you can do is whatever you think you 'should' be doing but don't really want to do! I decided I was only going to do what I liked, no matter how long it took. I did not set weight or time goals or deadlines. Instead I set up 10-week sessions. I had been inactive and out of shape for about ten years so I calendared one ten-week session for every year of sloth & inattention. I found MFP & it just reinforced my inclinations. Eat clean?... Nice but not necessary! Spot tone (my former bane)?... Myth! Juice cleanse? Just nope!!! Hahaha. The first session I simply tracked a calorie deficit and walked. I liked it. The second session I got interested in macros and noticed I feel better with a little bit more protein than I had been eating and a little less sugar (that's just me, listening to my own body, not recommending anything to you). Now I'm in the third session & im giving yoga a try, and doing a big hiking challenge. I have averaged about one pound a week weight loss. Sometimes it picks up steam & looks like 1.3 or 1.4 a week but then a little plateau will come along and cut that number. At the holidays I ate at maintenance & for the first time in my life really understood what that meant! And I didn't gain but enjoyed the break immensely.
Stop kicking yourself NOW. Treat your sweet self & your body like the fascinating travel companions they are on this long strange journey we call life. Do the things that pleasure, delight & entertain your travel companions and they will reward you with health and happiness. XoL0 -
I have some before / during / later during pictures in my profile.
Pretty sure they're viewable by anyone.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/photos/view/51637601
Start small, make cumulative changes, be flexible, set realistic goals, reward yourself.0 -
Here are some posts you might find helpful.
Definitely read sexypants.
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10012907/logging-accuracy-consistency-and-youre-probably-eating-more-than-you-think
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/819925/the-basics-dont-complicate-it/p1
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/872212/youre-probably-eating-more-than-you-think/p1
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/833026/important-posts-to-read/p1
"Most weight loss occurs because of decreased caloric intake.
However, evidence shows the only way to maintain weight loss is to be engaged in regular physical activity."
http://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/physical_activity/index.html
Goal setting, including weight, calories, and macros
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/MKEgal/view/2014-06-08-setting-goals-667045
Motivation & encouragement (explained in blog post)
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/MKEgal/view/2014-07-24-motivation-encouragement-680938
- Set small intermediate goals & celebrate every one.
- Take measurements.
- Take pictures.
- Weigh yourself regularly.
- Be flexible; forgive yourself.
- Celebrate the non-scale victories (NSV's)
- Don't give up!!!!
- Don't make any food forbidden.
- Eat real food; less processed is better.0 -
start small - start by weighing all your food for example, without sticking to a specific calorie target. eat whatever you want but weigh it/log it all. go on a walk for 10 minutes a few times a week. try that for a few weeks and see what happens. for some people having a deadline works great, for others, having a deadline to lose a certain amount of weight just adds stress.
This was exactly what I did. I logged honestly without restricting (even when I was emotionally eating and felt *kitten* and ashamed) for a few weeks, a) to get the real view of my eating habits and b) find the easiest things to cut first. It started with drinks. Then reducing the amount of oil/butter used in my cooking. Then seeing if I really needed that much cheese. Then by reducing portion sizes. I took each step one bit at a time, and not before I was ready. It starts to snowball and come naturally after a while.
Eating off a smaller plate also helps. But dinner plate sizes is a weird pet peeve of mine, so.0 -
Starting small works well for a lot of people. It's ok to start small and build on your small successes. Large goals are made up of many smaller ones, so breaking your goal down into smaller steps will help you keep on going. What I did was log everything for a couple of weeks to see what patterns there were. Then, I started making one change at a time, giving myself time to get used to that change before another one. Yes, it's slow! But here at the end, I'm confident that I'll be able to keep the weight off, which is worth it!
As for motivation, that has to come from you. You have to take a good, honest look at why YOU want to lose weight. And it doesn't have to be 'to get healthy'. That wasn't mine. I knew I needed to lose weight, my doctor told me to lose weight, but it wasn't until I got my wedding pictures back that I found the motivation to do so. I look fat in those pictures, and I didn't want that. That was my motivation for losing weight, and it worked. So find your OWN motivation, not what you think it should be or what others tell you it should be. That's how you'll keep on the track. You'll pause along the way, and sometimes you'll wander off to the side a bit, but as long as you come back to that track and keep going, you'll get there.0 -
Write down everything you want to live for: Example "see my child graduate, get married", write down everything that could happen if you don't change lifestyle: "heat attack, HBP, knee replacement". Write down goals you want to do: "Run a 5k, swim, travel". CHANGE comes from inspiration or desperation, maybe a little of both. the goals I have written and the consequences if I didn't change have helped me. they are taped to my refrigerator and bathroom mirror. Tons of good tips above. feel free to add me. 30 pounds ago (45 days) I could do 10-15 minutes on a bike, today its a whole different story...Best of luck to you0
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Passionately_Positive wrote: »
Me in February 2015 (372 lbs)
Me in November 2015 (155 lbs later)
Good Luck. You can do anything if you want it bad enough. You have complete control of your destination and the path you choose to get there. No excuses - pure beast mode. You can't dip your toes in the water when it comes to losing weight. Either jump all in and take the plunge for the results you want. Or stay and watch from the shoreline. It really is that simple. Go all in or you are wasting your time. Said with love!! xoxo
Sorry about the "graphic photos" but it is what it is.
Passionately positive, this really inspired me. Thank you for your post!0 -
Aw thanks love! I took photos semi naked like that during most of my journey last year - so I could "really" see the difference. I wasn't expecting to lose as much as I did. Thanks for your kind words!!0
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Ive lost almost 100 pounds...Visalus was what kick started me...its a protein shake you use as a meal replacement and it helps curb all your cravings and appetite, you buy it on line...0
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I am new here, but I would say this. Forget about being motivated....and forget about having goals. Totally punt on willpower. Just do this one thing: Honestly and accurately log what you eat.
Don't try and be a better person, don't try and be super healthy, super sexy --- or whatever. Don't go hungry, don't ever trust in willpower to help. Just log what you eat -- everything -- every...little....thing.
That's what I did, and looking at the logs after a week I was amazed at how much crap I ate that was high in calories that I didn't even really enjoy! Find something in the logs that you don't like much and can do without.
Then find something in the logs that's kind of healthy and that you really enjoy -- and have more of it. Little by little, step by step, you can adopt better habits that will last for the rest of your life because it won't require pain or suffering or sacrifice. The pounds will come off as a side effect of these better habits that start with what you buy at the grocery store.
Tiny steps....tiny steps.
My other pieces of advice:
1) get to bed earlier....if you are sleep deprived, then forget everything else, you are screwed
2) eat frequently...all day long -- don't ever let yourself feel really hungry
3) One big advantage of being obese -- At 50 pounds overweight, you don't need to work-out at this point!! Just find a park or forest where you feel calm and safe and walk around for 15-30 minutes every other day. It's not exercise...its your time...for yourself...to calm down and think about life.
I've been taking baby steps for the past 60 days and have lost 20 of 70 pounds.0 -
Honey, you CAN do hard things! I went from 410 pounds to 135 pounds for a total weight loss of 275 pounds!!0
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Some pretty inspiring voices here!
@Passionately_Positive YOU ROCK0 -
I am new here, but I would say this. Forget about being motivated....and forget about having goals. Totally punt on willpower. Just do this one thing: Honestly and accurately log what you eat.
Don't try and be a better person, don't try and be super healthy, super sexy --- or whatever. Don't go hungry, don't ever trust in willpower to help. Just log what you eat -- everything -- every...little....thing.
That's what I did, and looking at the logs after a week I was amazed at how much crap I ate that was high in calories that I didn't even really enjoy! Find something in the logs that you don't like much and can do without.
Then find something in the logs that's kind of healthy and that you really enjoy -- and have more of it. Little by little, step by step, you can adopt better habits that will last for the rest of your life because it won't require pain or suffering or sacrifice. The pounds will come off as a side effect of these better habits that start with what you buy at the grocery store.
#TRUTH
It's not until you log honestly and accurately that you realize just HOW MUCH calories you're taking in. I didn't think I was that bad until I logged for a week, and that was before I got a food scale! I started swapping out some things, like drinking unsweet tea with Equal instead of soda *which cuts 200+ calories out of each meal with one change!*, and slowly started working on relearning what portion sizes actually were instead of just eating what I pull out or put on my plate. Took me 3 years *well, 2 if you don't count the 6 months and two moves where I wasn't paying attention!* to lose 50 pounds, and I feel much more confident about my ability to KEEP it off now. ^_^
I didn't lose the weight with exercise, though I'm trying to add walking back in as it's good for getting my asthma under control. Exercise is good if you can do it, but it's not necessary to losing weight. Weight loss happens in the kitchen, exercise just helps you balance your body and keeps it in better working order.0 -
Before you really get started, get a few small habits in place. E.g. have an apple each day. Think of it as a weight loss pill and just eat it. When you eat a chocolate bar, eat a small one instead of a big one. Do this for 2 weeks and you may be pleasantly surprised to find that a little weight has come off. Then include more healthy vegetables in your day. After a week add in a gentle walk. As you build up the good habits, your body may let go bits of weight and you are getting habits in place that you need for the rest of your life. Each time you add a new good habit, ask yourself what the easiest one will be to introduce e.g. replace one of your unhealthy drinks with water. Later you can replace another but go slowly and your body won't see this as a starvation situation so it will just drop another pound here and there. Be patient as you learn the new skills and remember that the less sugar you eat the less you will want. Don't do low fat. Don't do high fat. Don't do low or high carb. Don't do low or high protein. Gradually move to balanced nourishing meals. Don't drink massive amounts of water. Just drink healthy amounts of water. Thirst IS a good guide. As your body learns to trust you not to starve it and not to fill it with junk then it will feel safe to let go of the fat.0
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To all of the above advice I'll add that my motivation is at an all time low, after 7 months of diligence. Have I gained weight? No. Am I committed to continuing the journey? Yes. Do I want to weigh what I weighed 7 months ago? Hell no! Do I still work out every morning and log every bite? Yes, because those are the habits I've set in place over the past 7 months. Do I feel motivated? Not at all. But this will pass.
Motivation comes and goes in life. Make a commitment to your health and your future, ignore the little voice in your head, and- just do it, one step at a time.0 -
Some pretty inspiring voices here!
@Passionately_Positive YOU ROCK
Thanks hun!! xoxo0
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