Requiring Incoming Friend Request Messages

xxghost

I have received a number of friend requests in the past few days, all of which have not included a message. While I hate to make broad generalizations, from my own experience, people who do not include a message of some sort often go on to be incredibly inactive. This, obviously, has exceptions. But I love getting to know my friends, so I'm really bummed when people don't try to communicate with me at all, even after I've added them as a friend.

I see quite a few people who require potential friends to include a message of some sort - even just a simple hi - in their request. I am curious whether or not this leads to a more vocal, active friends list. Of course, I can just go through and remove friends if they become inactive, but this may just make things easier for me. It is disheartening to "delete" friends.

Thoughts from people who do this, people who don't do this, or people who don't care and just want an excuse to post gifs?

yaseyuku

I only accept requests with messages unless it is from someone who I have spoken to on the message boards before, therefore knowing who they are.

thesupremeforce

I don't know. I include messages because people tend to ask for them. People who send me requests include messages. Some of them are really active and others aren't as much. I imagine that requiring messages is better served as a means of screening people for reasons other than activity.

BenchPressingCats

I want to know that incoming friends have either read my profile or they have communicated with me on the message boards. They have to be aware of what they're in for because I've had too many friends send me messages saying "You're a jerk..." or "Why don't you ever support me?!?!" and I'm like "IT'S IN THE PROFILE, READ IT DOLL FACE!"

Although, one of my friends made me aware that people on the phone app cannot see your profile, so I sometimes (sometimes, very rarely) accept with no message. But then I want a public profile and some awesome stuff on it.

laserturkey

I don't state up front that I require a message, but I do like to have some information about a person before I accept the request. When I get a request with no message, I go to the person's profile to see what that says. If the profile is blank and they have no pictures uploaded and they've been on the site more than just a couple of days, I tend to decline. If someone is brand new and hasn't taken the time to add that info, I'm more likely to give them a chance.

I'm pretty outspoken and have my own particular sense of humor, so I try to add friends with whom I have at least something in common.

diodelcibo

I only send blank friend requests.

Zombella

I don't require messages, but it is nice.

I really only send messages if the person is asking for one, or if I see someone in the success stories and just want to tell them where I saw them and why I am adding them. I don't believe it means someone is not active if they don't include messages. I usually just look at their profile to see how long they've been on here and how much they are actively here because many people do sign up and just quit.

hOw2lozeAgiN10dAze

I never send friend requests. I'm not friendly.

melindasuefritz

ui d ont care i accept them

xxghost

I imagine that requiring messages is better served as a means of screening people for reasons other than activity.

I originally figured that this was the reasoning, as people sometimes asked for incoming friend requests to include goals, workout routine, etc. But lately, I've come across a number of profiles that simply asked for anything - a smiley face, a "hi," anything. I wonder then if it is a means of judging activity.

BenchPressingCats

I don't require messages, but it is nice.

I really only send messages if the person is asking for one, or if I see someone in the success stories and just want to tell them where I saw them and why I am adding them. I don't believe it means someone is not active if they don't include messages. I usually just look at their profile to see how long they've been on here and how much they are actively here because many people do sign up and just quit.

One of my favorite friends on here was active for a little while and then quit... I has a sad :sad:

lithezebra

I just accept the invitations and let other people sort themselves out. If they turn out to be inactive, maybe it's because this site isn't a good fit, or they find something that works better. We're all on our own journey!

BenchPressingCats

I imagine that requiring messages is better served as a means of screening people for reasons other than activity.

I originally figured that this was the reasoning, as people sometimes asked for incoming friend requests to include goals, workout routine, etc. But lately, I've come across a number of profiles that simply asked for anything - a smiley face, a "hi," anything. I wonder then if it is a means of judging activity.

I think that's more of a gauge of who read the profile. There are quite a few people here who just click on a username and send a request, knowing nothing about them.

xxghost

I think that's more of a gauge of who read the profile. There are quite a few people here who just click on a username and send a request, knowing nothing about them.

That makes sense too, I suppose. If you ask a person to include a message of any sort, and they do, you might assume that they did indeed read your profile.

Though as was brought up previously, there is that pesky issue with mobile not showing profiles.

BenchPressingCats

Yep, and that's why I'm willing to give some people a chance. Usually I ask my friends about them first to see if anybody has them added already.

Kellbellftw

I usually accept any friend requests, and if they don't include a message I give them a chance to talk to me on posts. If by a week (or so) they have done nothing to get to know me, or even say hi, they are deleted. I have more local friends on here than I do message board/random MFP friends, and I don't mind it being that way haha I find it weird to send somebody a request and then make no contact with them at all. What's the point?!

MzManiak

I don't usually send a message. I figure the friend request itself says I appreciate what you have to say and the progress you have made, or the goals you are trying to obtain... I don't just send friend requests to anyone... if they accept them, cool. If not, that's cool too.

I've never turned down a friend request. I tend to think it's better to give them a chance than judge them outright. I don't delete friends for not telling me oh, good job or giving me endless details about their day.... only if they go weeks without logging, or they go several days without eating. Some people are talkative, others are not. Doesn't ruin my day not to know everyone on my friends list on a personal level. Support can still be given, in my opinion.

Kamikazeflutterby

A message is a nice way to say you have more personality than a bot. If someone can't bother to say something, however simple, why should I add them? I don't really use it to judge activity level, or "you must be this witty to join this FL" just to see that you have a smidge of personality and are capable of saying hello.

Stump_Likker

I never send friend requests. I'm not friendly.

Lol. Same here.

Jewel0124

I don't send messages, nor do I require that others send messages. I don't think messages are indicative of someone's personality nor their commitment to losing weight. Sometimes people are just getting started on their journey and are simply looking for support therefore, I'd rather get to know them instead of judging them.

MyzGina

I'm kinda picky who I add or even request to add me. I don't think a message matters. I kinda look at the weight loss. I like to see that the person requesting an add is actually doin something putting in some type of work!! Someone I can get tips or even some type of inspiration from. And I hope to do the same for them