Trouble reaching 1200 calories, I freak out if I have more than 600

Rnz123

At the start of my weight loss journey, I felt like 1200 calories was the perfect amount. I've managed to make it to 127 lbs (13 lbs lost yay!) eating a healthy amount. But recently I've really been struggling to eat enough. It's not that I'm not hungry, it's that if I eat any more than half that amount I feel guilty. And I know I shouldn't, because 1200 calories won't make me gain weight, but it also won't help me lose much weight per week. Today I tried to convince myself that I'm destroying my body (because I clearly am), and convinced myself to eat those 1200 calories. But once I hit the 900 mark I felt an overwhelming guilt and disgust with myself. I guess its safe to say I have a terrible relationship with food. It's so frustrating feeling like this all the time and I could really use some support. Thanks in advance.

KareninCanada

Have you considered finding a support group for eating disorders? It sounds like you would benefit from some personal support and coaching.

kgirlhart

I agree with KareninCanada. It sounds like you have or are developing an eatin disorder. I think you should look into some counciling.

DanyellMcGinnis

I wish I knew what to say to help you out, but I'm not sure what the right thing would be. What I will do is tell you that you absolutely can lose weight at 1200 calories. I am a woman slightly over 150 pounds losing more than a pound a week eating almost 2000 calories per day (I have my rate set at one pound per week but I think my natural activity level is much higher than the "sedentary" I told MFP). Granted, I am exercising a lot. A lot. Every single day. Because when you hear people on this site say "calories in, calories out," that is really holding true for me.

But, you have to keep a couple of things in mind. One, it is not about losing weight as quickly as possible. It should be about building healthy, sustainable habits for the long term. Otherwise, you will be right back where you started and it will be harder to lose weight the next time (I have been, in the past, a terrible yo-yo dieter, so this comes from experience), possibly with some health problems to boot. Two, the number given to you by MFP already has a calorie deficit built in, based on your activity level. You are already burning more calories per day, just by existing, than the 1200 in green at the top of your page. Three, there is a safe rate at which to lose weight and it is NOT what you see on The Biggest Loser (as an example). At your weight, 0.5 to 1 pound per week is probably doable without harming yourself.

I don't say this next thing to offend, at all, but if you are really feeling the sort of guilt and disgust that you describe, you may want to talk to a medical or mental health professional. That issue could turn pretty serious, pretty fast.

Rnz123

DanyellMcGinnis wrote: »

I wish I knew what to say to help you out, but I'm not sure what the right thing would be. What I will do is tell you that you absolutely can lose weight at 1200 calories. I am a woman slightly over 150 pounds losing more than a pound a week eating almost 2000 calories per day (I have my rate set at one pound per week but I think my natural activity level is much higher than the "sedentary" I told MFP). Granted, I am exercising a lot. A lot. Every single day. Because when you hear people on this site say "calories in, calories out," that is really holding true for me.

But, you have to keep a couple of things in mind. One, it is not about losing weight as quickly as possible. It should be about building healthy, sustainable habits for the long term. Otherwise, you will be right back where you started and it will be harder to lose weight the next time (I have been, in the past, a terrible yo-yo dieter, so this comes from experience), possibly with some health problems to boot. Two, the number given to you by MFP already has a calorie deficit built in, based on your activity level. You are already burning more calories per day, just by existing, than the 1200 in green at the top of your page. Three, there is a safe rate at which to lose weight and it is NOT what you see on The Biggest Loser (as an example). At your weight, 0.5 to 1 pound per week is probably doable without harming yourself.

I don't say this next thing to offend, at all, but if you are really feeling the sort of guilt and disgust that you describe, you may want to talk to a medical or mental health professional. That issue could turn pretty serious, pretty fast.

Thanks for the advice I just can't seem to wrap my mind around eating 1200 calories. After pushing myself really hard, I managed to eat 1000 today, which took a lot of willpower. I can't help but feel guilty. It's not so much the thought that I'll gain weight, it's more the thought that I have a bit of a contingency if I do slip up sometime during the week. I'm pretty sure I dont have an eating disorder, just a really unhealthy relationship with food. I keep telling myself that I should be healthy and not skinny, but I can't get over the thought of having a thigh gap and a skinny waist

My_Butt

Rnz123 wrote: »

DanyellMcGinnis wrote: »

I wish I knew what to say to help you out, but I'm not sure what the right thing would be. What I will do is tell you that you absolutely can lose weight at 1200 calories. I am a woman slightly over 150 pounds losing more than a pound a week eating almost 2000 calories per day (I have my rate set at one pound per week but I think my natural activity level is much higher than the "sedentary" I told MFP). Granted, I am exercising a lot. A lot. Every single day. Because when you hear people on this site say "calories in, calories out," that is really holding true for me.

But, you have to keep a couple of things in mind. One, it is not about losing weight as quickly as possible. It should be about building healthy, sustainable habits for the long term. Otherwise, you will be right back where you started and it will be harder to lose weight the next time (I have been, in the past, a terrible yo-yo dieter, so this comes from experience), possibly with some health problems to boot. Two, the number given to you by MFP already has a calorie deficit built in, based on your activity level. You are already burning more calories per day, just by existing, than the 1200 in green at the top of your page. Three, there is a safe rate at which to lose weight and it is NOT what you see on The Biggest Loser (as an example). At your weight, 0.5 to 1 pound per week is probably doable without harming yourself.

I don't say this next thing to offend, at all, but if you are really feeling the sort of guilt and disgust that you describe, you may want to talk to a medical or mental health professional. That issue could turn pretty serious, pretty fast.

Thanks for the advice I just can't seem to wrap my mind around eating 1200 calories. After pushing myself really hard, I managed to eat 1000 today, which took a lot of willpower. I can't help but feel guilty. It's not so much the thought that I'll gain weight, it's more the thought that I have a bit of a contingency if I do slip up sometime during the week. I'm pretty sure I dont have an eating disorder, just a really unhealthy relationship with food. I keep telling myself that I should be healthy and not skinny, but I can't get over the thought of having a thigh gap and a skinny waist

What does a thigh gap mean? What does a skinny waist mean?

Instead of striving for your body to look a certain way, find out what your body can do. Be proud at how fast you can run a mile, or how many pull-ups you can do, or how much you can bench press.

PixelPuff

I'd say find a support group. Find SOMEONE to talk to.

Other in thread;
Please understand that eating disorders are complicated. I have urges to throw up after every single thing I eat. Everything, binged or no. Yes, even plain leaf salads with no dressing. I understand that I will not gain weight from this small cup of rice I'm eating that may even be the only thing entering my mouth today - still makes me panic. I can't stop it.

It is hard to change the mindset, even if we know the difference. It is almost an instinctual "GAH". Think of Ross from Friends.. Joey goes to punch him to show that Ross should duck. Ross doesn't duck out of the way, his instincts are messed up [silly Ross]. That's us. We should duck, but our instincts just go, "Naaahhhh". You can tell I recently watched that episode..

PixelPuff

And OP, it is the start of an eating disorder. If you were underweight, you'd immediately be classified as anorexic. If normal or above, EDNOS [eating disorders not otherwise specified] until you become underweight. Just technicalities, but they'd still label you as anorexic or EDNOS with anorexia tendencies. /did her term paper on eating disorders, funnily enough

My_Butt

PixelPuff wrote: »

I'd say find a support group. Find SOMEONE to talk to.

Other in thread;
Please understand that eating disorders are complicated. I have urges to throw up after every single thing I eat. Everything, binged or no. Yes, even plain leaf salads with no dressing. I understand that I will not gain weight from this small cup of rice I'm eating that may even be the only thing entering my mouth today - still makes me panic. I can't stop it.

It is hard to change the mindset, even if we know the difference. It is almost an instinctual "GAH". Think of Ross from Friends.. Joey goes to punch him to show that Ross should duck. Ross doesn't duck out of the way, his instincts are messed up [silly Ross]. That's us. We should duck, but our instincts just go, "Naaahhhh". You can tell I recently watched that episode..

And you're assuming none of us has dealt with this before? I've had EDNOS for 18 years. If OP is asking for help, we can all share our input. What you basically said is there's no hope at changing OPs mindset anymore.

And they've changed the guidelines for diagnosing eating disorders.

Blackdawn_70631

I agree to the start of an eating disorder.
In my younger years I was underweight, but due to a lack of food around me to eat. And though I was underweight, put anything in front of me and I would eat it without asking what it is. The rule I grew up with was eat it or starve.
Now, 20 years later, I'm still in that mind set of eat or starve. I hate wasting food and will eat food just so it doesn't have to be thrown out.
Am I a food addict? No. I just still have this problem where I can't decline food because I don't want it wasted.
Now my mind frame is in a better state and can decline food with a more peace of mind.
My husband supported me the entire time because everyone once in a while I'll back off into that mode and he has to be the one to tell me it's not like that anymore.
Now that I'm watching what I eat, and he asks if I want something to eat, I'll say I don't want it because I'm given too much. And though I can eat THE WHOLE THING, for my weight health I can't. So a lot of the food I eat I share with my husband. And my husband knows he had to share so I'll eat it.
Learning to get over this won't happen in a week. It's a very long struggle, but gets easier over time.

bellabonbons

There is no reason for you to be afraid. Maybe you should make an appointment with the counselor to talk about your fears of more calories. Don't let it control you. And don't be afraid to ask for help to talk this over with someone that is experienced in this area. It sounds like somewhere in your past you developed a very strong amount of guilt. And sometimes we eat to medicate ourselves or try to be erase those feelings and it never works. There are some incredible counselors out there experienced in this area that can give you a lot of insight. I wish you the best.

ReadyWillingEager

How long have you felt/behaved in this way

danika2point0

OP - it sounds like you are really struggling :-/ You should seek professional help as you know your body requires minimum 1,200 calories. If you are not getting that (for whatever reason), a professional can help you to achieve that. I wish you the best of luck.

Rnz123

ReadyWillingEager wrote: »

How long have you felt/behaved in this way

I feel like this has been going on for pretty much all my life, just never to this extent. There has always been that guilt over eating more than 1200 calories, but never 600. I keep telling myself 1200 is what my body needs, but I can't seem to shake the disgust. I woke up this morning feeling really shi**y about eating 1100 calories yesterday

Rnz123

Thanks so much to everyone who replied. I've considered seeing my doctor about this, but the problem is that I don't want to be told (or even forced) to eat more. I'll never be able to lose weight that way. I really want to get help but I don't want to gain or even stay at this weight

EvgeniZyntx

Rnz123 wrote: »

I'm pretty sure I dont have an eating disorder, just a really unhealthy relationship with food. I keep telling myself that I should be healthy and not skinny, but I can't get over the thought of having a thigh gap and a skinny waist

Most likely, yes, you do. Eating 600 cals, can't up it. Disordered thinking about body and food.

A doctor won't force you to eat. Proper input will be to help you manage your thinking.
So go see someone that can help with how you think about food, calories and yourself.

If you don't manage this ... later someone WILL likely force you to eat more. Getting to that point is an awful path.

diannethegeek

http://myfitnesspal.desk.com/customer/portal/articles/1575987-eating-disorder-resources

bwaits07

I feel the same. When I make my meals I feel like its to much and eat only half even though the full meal I have prepared for is within my calorie range. That or I push my self harder on cardio.

lindsayh87

You need to eat those 1200. Are you exercising? Would it make you feel better if you saw an excess of 600 calories at the end of the day. Push yourself to work out and burn those 600 and then you'll feel no guilt eating 1200. I've gone in phases where I had to see a certain amount in green at the end of the day and to keep from it being an unsafe number from not eating I replace that with exercise.

Your mindset is concerning though and hopefully if you can tackle this problem now you won't be forced to eat. Good luck!