My 600 Pound Life
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There are an infinite number of reasons a person could gain up to 600lbs...many of the larger people I've worked with in counseling got that way as a way of trying to protect themselves. You see, they were raped at a healthy weight but when morbidly obese, they can feel just a little bit safer. I'm not saying every overweight person has a trauma story behind their weight but some do. The fact is that you don't know a person's story and certainly shouldn't look down on someone or kick them when they are down...at the least, you are kicking someone who's already struggling and at the worst you could be kicking someone who's already been terribly abused.4
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I can see how it happens to someone. I started 2015 at 490 pounds. By the start of Dec 2015 I was 530. I am 100% positive that I would have cracked 600 by the end of 2016. Fortunately I'm getting help from my doctor and medical staff, and am back down to 490 over the last 8 weeks. I may (although won't be disappointed if I miss it a bit) hit 400 by the end of the year.
I'm not lazy. I know that binge eating causes weight gain. I'm not stupid. But it's always easier to start something tomorrow than it is today. You get to be 400, 500, 600 pounds by eating way more than necessary every day, and every day saying you're going to start tomorrow.
Severely morbidly obese people aren't asking for pity. Or excuses. However, those explicitly saying they don't have any empathy, or "just can't imagine", are speaking volumes about their own character and nothing about the obese people they reference. I'd rather be my compassionate, caring, empathetic 500 pound self forever than be a thin someone who doesn't have the ability to step in someone's else's shoes or show compassion and understanding that everyone is struggling with something. Next time consider a kind word instead of judgement.
tara_means_star wrote: »There are an infinite number of reasons a person could gain up to 600lbs...many of the larger people I've worked with in counseling got that way as a way of trying to protect themselves. You see, they were raped at a healthy weight but when morbidly obese, they can feel just a little bit safer. I'm not saying every overweight person has a trauma story behind their weight but some do. The fact is that you don't know a person's story and certainly shouldn't look down on someone or kick them when they are down...at the least, you are kicking someone who's already struggling and at the worst you could be kicking someone who's already been terribly abused.
Exactly. Threads like this can be damaging for people.0 -
And threads like this can also be very helpful to people. We are all vulnerable. Most here have the potential to gain enormous amounts of weight and most have experienced their own trauma to some degree. It's beautiful to see some of the contestants lose the weight. But there are a few who refused. I think of The mother who expected her teenage son to bring her loads of food and do everything for her. He had no life of his own. And she is the one that made every excuse not to get up and try to walk after surgery and wanted to spend most of her evenings at bunco games eating donuts and always expected her teenage son to take her. My heart went out for him this poor kid had no life while he waited on his mother. if I had a family member who weighed close to 500 to 600 pounds and expected me to bring them food while they are in bed you bat, I would bring them food but it would not be food loaded with calories it would be lean meats healthy vegetables and some fruits and water. And if they complained, I would suggest that they get out of bed and get it themselves. They have to eat so they would eventually eat the healthy foods that I gave them. One of the contestants made her two teenage daughters bring her deep fried foods. And liters of Coke. When her daughters finally said no, she threw her daughters out of the house and told them they couldn't live there anymore.
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singingflutelady wrote: »I really like the patients from this year but I can never, ever get behind and support Penny.
Same, screw that person in particular. She made me legit wanna break my tv.
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DaisyBlinks wrote: »bellabonbons wrote: »Yes and have you ever noticed the enabler's are often obese ? I must be honest I have no sympathy for someone that eats so much that they weigh 600 pounds I can't imagine.
I must be honest, I can't imagine having that little compassion for another human being.
Same here. Sometimes this site is great, and sometimes it points out to me all the things I dislike in the world.
Agree^^0 -
bellabonbons wrote: »And threads like this can also be very helpful to people. We are all vulnerable. Most here have the potential to gain enormous amounts of weight and most have experienced their own trauma to some degree. It's beautiful to see some of the contestants lose the weight. But there are a few who refused. I think of The mother who expected her teenage son to bring her loads of food and do everything for her. He had no life of his own. And she is the one that made every excuse not to get up and try to walk after surgery and wanted to spend most of her evenings at bunco games eating donuts and always expected her teenage son to take her. My heart went out for him this poor kid had no life while he waited on his mother. if I had a family member who weighed close to 500 to 600 pounds and expected me to bring them food while they are in bed you bat, I would bring them food but it would not be food loaded with calories it would be lean meats healthy vegetables and some fruits and water. And if they complained, I would suggest that they get out of bed and get it themselves. They have to eat so they would eventually eat the healthy foods that I gave them. One of the contestants made her two teenage daughters bring her deep fried foods. And liters of Coke. When her daughters finally said no, she threw her daughters out of the house and told them they couldn't live there anymore.
How would this thread be very helpful?
The same way going to an AA meeting and making condescending remarks about those with alcoholism would be?
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I just recently started watching this show and have been so intrigued. One of the things that I don't like about it is the beginning when they show the person trying to care for (clean) themselves. The overweight person is almost always naked and it seems a little exploitative to me.
Last night I watched the episode about Dottie. Her son was so sick and she felt helpless. I can see how her depression has played such a huge role in her obesity. I hope she continues to lose weight.0 -
Singingflutelady I totally agree regarding Penny. But It is also beautiful to see the ones that do take responsibility for the choices and make a change the one particular case was divorcing her husband who belittled her for losing weight. My heart broke for her when she said she wanted a salad and he said to her on national TV if you want a salad go out and eat grass in the front yard. I admire her strength for making the choice for herself and her children to lose the weight and divorce him.0
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DaisyBlinks wrote: »bellabonbons wrote: »Yes and have you ever noticed the enabler's are often obese ? I must be honest I have no sympathy for someone that eats so much that they weigh 600 pounds I can't imagine.
I must be honest, I can't imagine having that little compassion for another human being.
Same here. Sometimes this site is great, and sometimes it points out to me all the things I dislike in the world.
I try to ignore those types of comments (people saying not so nice things behind the comfort/safety/anonmity of their screen) because I realized people tend to say things like that to feel good about themselves. Like 'I'm so much better than that...I would NEVER allow myself to get THAT big', and they need to voice it so that they can "convince" others of the same thing. I really do think it all goes back to being insecure.
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tara_means_star wrote: »There are an infinite number of reasons a person could gain up to 600lbs...many of the larger people I've worked with in counseling got that way as a way of trying to protect themselves. You see, they were raped at a healthy weight but when morbidly obese, they can feel just a little bit safer. I'm not saying every overweight person has a trauma story behind their weight but some do. The fact is that you don't know a person's story and certainly shouldn't look down on someone or kick them when they are down...at the least, you are kicking someone who's already struggling and at the worst you could be kicking someone who's already been terribly abused.
I was going to say the same thing. Often the women are victims of sexual abuse in childhood or as early teens. More often it's from a family or close friend. The men I don't see as much as a trend with this, but mostly there is a psychological issue at play. The obesity is a symptom. Not the result of just plain lazy and bad eating.
Worst are the mothers of these people who keep them dependent because their whole lives have been spent "looking after them".
One episode, the husband was a feeder and wanted his woman big. He feared she would leave him if she got to a healthy weight.
There are too many variables at play to make a blanket statement.
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Whats interesting is the failure rate when you get that big. Only 5% will keep the weight off after surgery. Even the ones who stick with it have a very difficult journey with the masses of excess skin that they have to live with.
Unfortunately there is a crossing point where you damage your body aesthetically from where you can't return.
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I watched this program last night .
It is shocking and awful to see these people at these weights, and unfortunately in other people's eyes can make them appear less human. They aren't.
They have extremely low self esteem and many have been big from a young age, their comfort 'friend' is food and doesn't offer criticism and is always there to fall back on.
I have never been morbidly obese but I have been in the obese category ( size 12 /14 uk , 5ft) and there have been times in my life where I have turned to comfort eating but I have been able to stop and turn it around before it got worse.
What if I couldn't stop ?
It's great to see many at the end of the show so much happier. And they prob still get looks from being big but people don't realise how far they have come already.
I think like at the other end of the scale with anorexia, getting to super obese it has gone beyond eating too much. As some one else said the weight gain is just a symptom , it has now become an illness they are unable to control and it takes over every part of their lives and their families.
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I think with the families enabling I can understand a bit.
There is a line between showing love and enabling and it's good the doctor tells them to stop too.
My mum is slim and has worked hard to get there and is very supportive of me losing weight.
However as my mum she loves me and will show me love through food. It's in our nature / culture to always be offering food and feeding those we love.
I even find myself doing it lol.
Unfortunately in those that are much heavier ( ie 600lb show) they are unable to turn down the food offered. Their lives are so centred around food and themselves it is a vicious circle0 -
I was never 600 lbs but I do have some very deep-rooted emotional issues regarding food. I can totally sympathize with these morbidly obese people, even though I couldn't imagine myself getting to that size. Part of it is also fooling yourself into thinking maybe you're not really that fat, and maybe eating 4-5 people's worth of food a day is normal for your body. I used to think that way too when I overate for many years, and probably averaged around 2500-3500 calories a day. I thought it was totally normal and while I knew I was fat, I never thought I was that fat.
I've struggled with a lot of issues regarding food, and I know my issues aren't even the worst of the worst.
Also let's keep in mind that a lot of the people on this TV show know nothing about nutrition. Some may honestly believe a box of donuts is normal to have for a snack.0 -
That show is my motivation to keep going. Sounds odd, but for someone who has battled obesity my whole life, without constant monitoring of my weight, I could be at that point. Only because I was never taught healthy eating as a child and it has taken me many years to finally get my act together.0
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bellabonbons wrote: »I watch this program a lot. And frankly I just am shocked that someone could eat so much to weigh 600 pounds. I love the doctor on this program. He never minces his words.
There are people who go the path of extreme obesity as a way to punish themselves, just like some cut themselves. They need to seek help to find out why they are self harming and how to get out of the cycle. When the mental health part of it is dealt with, the physical can follow. We need compassion, not scorn because they get that enough. It is no more a choice than any other eating disorder and needs to be treated as such.
There is an entire subculture of feeders and gainers and many who get up to these extreme weights fall into that category. It is no different than any other kind of abuse. The feeders find vulnerable people with no self-worth to prey upon and they enjoy the control they have over them.
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OP, have you ever been obese? If so, you should understand how they got there.
For me it was a mixture of things. Depression. Lack of confidence. Ignorance. Lack of knowledge and understanding. It was a complete downward spiral. I could see myself going there but I couldn't do anything to stop it at the time. I just wasn't ready to face the mountain that's weight loss.0 -
I wish there was a less religious phrase that was the equivalent of "there but for the grace of god go I". I don't know exactly how someone gets to 600 pounds, I've never been 600 pounds. Plenty of people don't know exactly how someone gets to 300 pounds. I've been 300 pounds before, I know how I got there, and I'm pretty sure it is only a matter of degrees in what I did versus what this woman did.
Plenty of eating beyond nutritional needs is about getting a small pleasure from the food. Given that, I see no shock in the simple fact that someone might eat a lot, particularly as the pleasures diminish (once you've have 10 twinkies, it might take another 10 twinkies to be as good as the first). What shocks me is that we can live in a world where people treat each others so poorly that anyone ends up needing to kill enough pain and displeasure that it takes the amount of food that leads to weighing 600 pounds. Perhaps some people would be a bit nicer about it if every ounce of fat on a person had a little
face growing off of it. 0 -
Expatmommy79 wrote: »tara_means_star wrote: »There are an infinite number of reasons a person could gain up to 600lbs...many of the larger people I've worked with in counseling got that way as a way of trying to protect themselves. You see, they were raped at a healthy weight but when morbidly obese, they can feel just a little bit safer. I'm not saying every overweight person has a trauma story behind their weight but some do. The fact is that you don't know a person's story and certainly shouldn't look down on someone or kick them when they are down...at the least, you are kicking someone who's already struggling and at the worst you could be kicking someone who's already been terribly abused.
I was going to say the same thing. Often the women are victims of sexual abuse in childhood or as early teens. More often it's from a family or close friend. The men I don't see as much as a trend with this, but mostly there is a psychological issue at play. The obesity is a symptom. Not the result of just plain lazy and bad eating.
Worst are the mothers of these people who keep them dependent because their whole lives have been spent "looking after them".
One episode, the husband was a feeder and wanted his woman big. He feared she would leave him if she got to a healthy weight.
There are too many variables at play to make a blanket statement.
It hasn't been as common with men, but is unfortunately on the rise. I've worked with men with sexual trauma but more commonly, with males I've seen a sexual trauma in boys and adolescent males.0 -
Fat shaming is one of the last widely accepted forms of prejudice and judgmentalism in society today. We live in a time where people can change their gender and their physical body parts and that is accepted, we have compassion and understanding. But a 600 lb person? Let the outward negativity and nastiness fly, let the holier than thou attitudes prevail!
Fat shaming and discrimination starts way down the scale from 600. From my experience for women it is more like 200 unless you are quite tall. There was a study that said overweight women get paid 12% less than normal weight women in the same role.
And that is assuming that as an overweight woman you can even get that job.Though obese men are more likely than men of average weight to work in lower-paying, physical jobs, the effect isn't nearly as strong as it is for women. As a result, obese women make $7 less than their average-weight counterparts, while obese men make just $2 less.
huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/23/study-obese-women-jobs_n_6037076.html
The ladies pictured at the link look closer to 300, but from the study the penalty starts at just overweight.“Starting when a woman becomes overweight, she is increasingly less likely to work in a personal interaction or personal communication occupation. And the heaviest women in the labor market are the least likely individuals to work in personal interaction occupations,” says Jennifer Shinall, assistant professor of law at Vanderbilt Law School and author of “Occupational Characteristics and the Obesity Wage Penalty.”0 -
I watch this show every week. It gives me motivation and the strength to keep going. Yes, that may be selfish, but it is one of the reason's why I watch the show. I also watch Hoarders for the same reason, to get my butt moving to clean up my house when it seems to be getting cluttered.
I don't agree with everything that the Doctor does, but I do think giving it to them in black and white with no gray areas is the best thing for them. I can't imagine being that heavy nor can I say that I know how they feel. I like seeing them lose the weight and start to feel happy about themselves. Some get it and some don't. It is very much a mind-set and having a great support system around you.0 -
It is very difficult to view oneself dispassionately. I watch this show too, for motivation. I think that if these people, with all of their problems, their worries, and their disadvantages can learn better habits, then so can I. I dont look at them like sideshow freaks - I see fragile humans, struggling in life on many levels, often without meaningful support and I am inspired.0
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OP, have you ever been obese? If so, you should understand how they got there.
For me it was a mixture of things. Depression. Lack of confidence. Ignorance. Lack of knowledge and understanding. It was a complete downward spiral. I could see myself going there but I couldn't do anything to stop it at the time. I just wasn't ready to face the mountain that's weight loss.
Hijack...Ninkyou...your profile picture is precious. What a cutey
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If you think Dr now is "mean" you should see what happens in some eating disorder inpatient and outpatient programs for anorexia and bulimia. I'be been through inpatient, day hospital and outpatient and wow the stories I can tell. Gain 0.9 kg instead of 1 kg get "punished" and omg if you lose any weight get kicked out (I was kicked out). Being forced to eat food you hate (not talking obvious eating disorder food hatred I mean like being forced to eat onions and broccoli when you hate them). Having every bite you take watched and monitored. It's way more strict than anything these patients have to go through. For me it kinda worked because if you made me angry I had to prove you wrong. Also it is a motivator as I never want to have to go through that again lol.2
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I deal with depression, trauma, etc the opposite way, through restriction, so I can understand I guess.0
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@ilex70 - Very interesting information.0
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DaisyBlinks wrote: »bellabonbons wrote: »Yes and have you ever noticed the enabler's are often obese ? I must be honest I have no sympathy for someone that eats so much that they weigh 600 pounds I can't imagine.
I must be honest, I can't imagine having that little compassion for another human being.
Not only that but I am sure there are a lot of average size people who say they can't believe overweight/obese people eat themselves to 200-300 pounds. It happens.1 -
bellabonbons wrote: »Emi I agree. If you love someone and they are so obese that they cannot move or walk why would you bring them fast food, liters of Coke and dozens of donuts that is just beyond comprehension. I loved reading a post here where he said he knew he had a choice and wouldn't allow himself to gain that much. You know you hear a lot of comments about no compassion but there's also another element called tough love these people who are saying that there's no compassion could be the very type a personality that would be enablers to people they love it's really sad. We all are given a choice.
Tough love and compassion are not mutually exclusive. If seeing that a 600 lb person is neglecting to take responsibility for their life makes it impossible for you to feel compassion for the life they are living, that's on you.
I can't personally imagine eating enough to get that big without putting the brakes on it. But my heart breaks imagining what their life is like, all the experiences they are giving up because for whatever deep-seated reason, they can't see the way out. I'm not a therapist, but I imagine something happened to them to cause them to hide behind all that food and excess weight. It is their responsibility to move beyond that, but that doesn't make the situation any less tragic.0 -
DaisyBlinks wrote: »bellabonbons wrote: »Yes and have you ever noticed the enabler's are often obese ? I must be honest I have no sympathy for someone that eats so much that they weigh 600 pounds I can't imagine.
I must be honest, I can't imagine having that little compassion for another human being.
Not only that but I am sure there are a lot of average size people who say they can't believe overweight/obese people eat themselves to 200-300 pounds. It happens.
Exactly, and sadly people are going to make comments on every size from what I've seen.0 -
I think it's more about what's in our heads than what's on our hips. For me, excess weight is a big safety blanket. One of my weight loss mantras is 'thin is safe'. I'm steady losing up to half a pound per day because I realized my blanket was ultimately harmful.0
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