Buying VD gifts with "married" money...

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Replies

  • jesscran815
    jesscran815 Posts: 37 Member
    meganridenour wrote: »
    I am not huge on Valentine's Day, but my boyfriend enjoys getting me things. The only thing is, he tends to buy me roses which I'm not really into and I find to be a waste of money (especially the around v-day, woah expensive). I don't have a nice way of telling him this without hurting his feelings, so it just continues to happen. Don't get me wrong, I really think it's sweet and it's the thought that counts! But flowers just die... D:

    I like to grow flowers and I have a garden in the summers, so I always mention that I don't like cut flowers because they just die and I like to enjoy them for a long time. Roses are one of my least favorites, too, so when I see a guy show up with them I cringe (hopefully just inside and not on my face...). But I haven't found a guy yet that listens to the hint and gets me something potted. My most recent ex said "I didn't want to get you something you'd just have to keep taking care of!" despite my asking for a potted plant... *sigh* It is the thought that counts sometimes though...I suppose...Haha. The one who gets me a potted plant might just be a keeper!
  • DWBalboa
    DWBalboa Posts: 37,259 Member
    22 years of marriage and I still treat my lover like every day is Valentine’s day, so there's really no going out of the way to do anything special (she insist), however, I'm not dumb! I'll get her flowers and make an arrangement for her as well as for my daughter, cook her breakfast and server her in bed with a steeping hot mug of her favorite tea.
    However, if you must buy something expensive without tipping her of then do like a few have already said, use cash.
  • size102b
    size102b Posts: 1,370 Member
    We don't have joint accounts as were married but still need independence
    Have had joint account with ex husband but I had to explain every purchase
  • LouLouStBijou
    LouLouStBijou Posts: 987 Member
    My husband's birthday is the 13th (yikes, that's tomorrow) and then V-day on Sunday....and although I work, he makes the lion's share of our money (we have always had joint accounts) so I always feel like nothing I am going to get him is really "from" me and he checks the account all that time. I am kind of screwed.
  • srv524
    srv524 Posts: 1,363 Member
    LouLouStBijou wrote: »
    My husband's birthday is the 13th (yikes, that's tomorrow) and then V-day on Sunday....and although I work, he makes the lion's share of our money (we have always had joint accounts) so I always feel like nothing I am going to get him is really "from" me and he checks the account all that time. I am kind of screwed.

    Sexual favors, DUH.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    srv524 wrote: »
    Vday is stupid for us. If you need a separate day to love your SO more than the other days, your relationship/marriage is going to fail. We love each other the same each year and we know it's a *kitten*, made-up corporate holiday that only idiots fall for.
    That being said - we have joint money accounts so it would be stupid to buy her a gift since she's theoretically paying for that gift herself too. And we have a kid due in a few weeks so money is tight and we need to save as much as possible.

    i know this thread isn't about valentines day itself, but i'm not sure you can make a judgement on someone's relationship if they happen to celebrate a day you don't.

    i show my wife i love her every day. i kiss her every day. i tell her every day. we share chores and parenting and i will try to do little things for her every day. it's not a bad thing that a day is set up for people to be able to step away from the regimen of every day life. because while she's going to recognize me doing a couple extra loads of laundry as an act of love, having a reason to plan a date is something some people need because otherwise they would just put it off because they are tired, or they have to work late, or a parent needs them, or the kid has baseball...

    that said, personally, i am not a fan of the day. but i will do something for my wife because she likes it. nothing over the top. but something just for her.

    maybe that does make me an idiot. i don't know. not in her eyes though, and that's what matters to me.

    congratulations on your child. if this is your first, you are about to enter a new world. good luck.

  • Meganthedogmom
    Meganthedogmom Posts: 1,639 Member
    yayamom3 wrote: »
    meganridenour wrote: »
    I am not huge on Valentine's Day, but my boyfriend enjoys getting me things. The only thing is, he tends to buy me roses which I'm not really into and I find to be a waste of money (especially the around v-day, woah expensive). I don't have a nice way of telling him this without hurting his feelings, so it just continues to happen. Don't get me wrong, I really think it's sweet and it's the thought that counts! But flowers just die... D:

    I have the same issue. Red roses are so ridiculously overpriced. And honestly, after 26 Valentine's Days, I'd really enjoy just a mixed bouquet (which would be much cheaper!). Something different. But I can't think of a way to tell DH this without hurting his feelings and sounding ungrateful.

    I've had the opportunity to point out different flowers I see in the grocery store that I think are pretty. You could try that.
    I guess come v-day I will see if he was paying attention at the grocery store! Haha
    So I will just continue to thank him for being so sweet and thoughtful. I know there are a lot of wives who would love to be in my shoes.

    I feel the same way. I don't want to take his thoughtfulness for granted because at least he cares enough to think about me. I've had plenty of boyfriends who were not like that.
  • yayamom3
    yayamom3 Posts: 939 Member
    Oh great idea about pointing out other flower arrangements when I have the chance @meganridenour! I'll have to remember that.
  • srv524
    srv524 Posts: 1,363 Member
    wolverine66 wrote: »
    srv524 wrote: »
    Vday is stupid for us. If you need a separate day to love your SO more than the other days, your relationship/marriage is going to fail. We love each other the same each year and we know it's a *kitten*, made-up corporate holiday that only idiots fall for.
    That being said - we have joint money accounts so it would be stupid to buy her a gift since she's theoretically paying for that gift herself too. And we have a kid due in a few weeks so money is tight and we need to save as much as possible.

    i know this thread isn't about valentines day itself, but i'm not sure you can make a judgement on someone's relationship if they happen to celebrate a day you don't.

    i show my wife i love her every day. i kiss her every day. i tell her every day. we share chores and parenting and i will try to do little things for her every day. it's not a bad thing that a day is set up for people to be able to step away from the regimen of every day life. because while she's going to recognize me doing a couple extra loads of laundry as an act of love, having a reason to plan a date is something some people need because otherwise they would just put it off because they are tired, or they have to work late, or a parent needs them, or the kid has baseball...

    that said, personally, i am not a fan of the day. but i will do something for my wife because she likes it. nothing over the top. but something just for her.

    maybe that does make me an idiot. i don't know. not in her eyes though, and that's what matters to me.

    congratulations on your child. if this is your first, you are about to enter a new world. good luck.

    I didn't mean it to come off like that. First, my girlfriend and I have joint "married" accounts so buying a gift would be taking away from that pot when it's tight as it is. Second, we mutual hate this holiday since we feel it's just a made-up money holiday. We both show our love for each other every day so we feel that this shouldn't change for 1 day of the year. I get your point about breaking the cycle and I can agree with that. For us, we just don't feel the need to do that because I show her random bits of unexpected love throughout the year (buying her small things she appreciates and other random acts of love). So in a way, I guess my Vday experience is spread out throughout the entire year. I (we) just don't get people who go all out on v-day with the basic roses and chocolates as it's come to be expected in our society. To us, it's just a half-hearted attempt for most people to do what the masses do because they think that 1 day of extra love somehow makes their love grow stronger when that's really how you should be treating your SO the entire year. Like a "I know you exist and we get along but on this 1 day of the year, I'm going to show you I love you by buying you the Lovers Special for $49.99".
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
    srv524 wrote: »
    LouLouStBijou wrote: »
    My husband's birthday is the 13th (yikes, that's tomorrow) and then V-day on Sunday....and although I work, he makes the lion's share of our money (we have always had joint accounts) so I always feel like nothing I am going to get him is really "from" me and he checks the account all that time. I am kind of screwed.

    Sexual favors, DUH.

    That always work for my husband! Hands down!

  • Caporegiem
    Caporegiem Posts: 4,297 Member
    leosmith66 wrote: »
    VD is the gift that keeps on giving. Who would need anything else?

    It took way too long for a VD joke to pop up. Kudos to you sir.
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
    dbanks80 wrote: »
    srv524 wrote: »
    LouLouStBijou wrote: »
    My husband's birthday is the 13th (yikes, that's tomorrow) and then V-day on Sunday....and although I work, he makes the lion's share of our money (we have always had joint accounts) so I always feel like nothing I am going to get him is really "from" me and he checks the account all that time. I am kind of screwed.

    Sexual favors, DUH.

    That always work for my husband! Hands down!

    tied works better
  • srv524
    srv524 Posts: 1,363 Member
    _John_ wrote: »
    dbanks80 wrote: »
    srv524 wrote: »
    LouLouStBijou wrote: »
    My husband's birthday is the 13th (yikes, that's tomorrow) and then V-day on Sunday....and although I work, he makes the lion's share of our money (we have always had joint accounts) so I always feel like nothing I am going to get him is really "from" me and he checks the account all that time. I am kind of screwed.

    Sexual favors, DUH.

    That always work for my husband! Hands down!

    tied works better

    With the optional ballgag
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
    _John_ wrote: »
    dbanks80 wrote: »
    srv524 wrote: »
    LouLouStBijou wrote: »
    My husband's birthday is the 13th (yikes, that's tomorrow) and then V-day on Sunday....and although I work, he makes the lion's share of our money (we have always had joint accounts) so I always feel like nothing I am going to get him is really "from" me and he checks the account all that time. I am kind of screwed.

    Sexual favors, DUH.

    That always work for my husband! Hands down!

    tied works better


    LOL! Yep that too!
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