I'm sick of hearing that 180lbs 'wouldn't look right' on me!!

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  • EatSleepRideRun
    EatSleepRideRun Posts: 52 Member
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    Are you achieving your goal for you or others? Just take a look at your own progress picture wow, if you want an even better responses, you should lose more, if your happy stop. To be honest when I was really losing, people kept saying to me, don't lose anymore you'll be ill, I was only just in my healthy BMI I set my goal for me and I did it for me. My advise, do it for you when your happy then stop. :)
  • trjjoy
    trjjoy Posts: 666 Member
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    Damn, lady! You have a lovely body. But yes, you can totally lose more weight. If I were you, I'd go for a nice solid BMI of 25.
  • trjjoy
    trjjoy Posts: 666 Member
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    azulvioleta6 wrote: »
    Clearly you need to continue losing weight and gaining muscle.

    Just ignore all of the opinions and stop when it feels right for you.

    It might be time to bring information train into the station. Nobody besides you really needs to know your specific goals.

    THIS^^^
  • parfia
    parfia Posts: 184 Member
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    trjjoy wrote: »
    azulvioleta6 wrote: »
    Clearly you need to continue losing weight and gaining muscle.

    Just ignore all of the opinions and stop when it feels right for you.

    It might be time to bring information train into the station. Nobody besides you really needs to know your specific goals.

    THIS^^^
    parfia wrote: »
    Thank you for all the responses guys.

    Just FYI, I don't go round shouting my goals to people but I was talking to family about a holiday that we're going on next year and said 'oh, by then I'll hopefully be near my goal weight". The holiday is in July next year and they said something along the lines of "you'll have got to it way before then" and then I just said that if I lose around 1 - 1.5lbs per week I'll just about get to it and from there, it was kind of implied that I wanted to lose around 4/5 stone.......hence, the lecture about being realistic and that that weight wouldn't look right etc, etc, etc - I don't go round like 'guess what guys, I'm going to lose 5 stone' lol!!

    Oh, and I'm 5' 11 - 6 ft - I shrink and grow on different days :blush:

  • karlis87
    karlis87 Posts: 111 Member
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    Maybe pick a body fat percentage goal instead so you can share that with people. Most people don't know enough about that to contradict you.
  • AmazonMayan
    AmazonMayan Posts: 1,168 Member
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    It sounds perfectly reasonable and healthy.

    I'm a touch over 6' and 180 is my ultimate goal. I can get to 165 as my absolute lowest but that makes me extremely skinny on my large frame and I'd rather retain more muscle - plus I've had 3 kids since the last time I was under 180 lol. I can be as high as 250 wearing a size 16 or 18 and people think I don't need to lose much. 250 is obese even if I do carry it somewhat well.

    Only you guys on this site know my number I'm aiming for. When I'm asked in person I tell them something vague about ease of clothes shopping or fitting better in a roller coaster (lol can't wait).
  • sllm1
    sllm1 Posts: 2,114 Member
    edited February 2016
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    People tell me that I don't need to lose weight all the time. I tell them that while I do look awesome in work clothes, I also want to look good naked. They tend to stop at that point. :)
  • Deckhand562
    Deckhand562 Posts: 76 Member
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    The only goal I've shared outside of my doctor's office is this one: I want to feel confident in a bikini for the first time in 30 years!
    Boom. That's my goal. People will agree or smile or laugh, doesn't matter. It's what I want and what I will do for me.
  • suzan06
    suzan06 Posts: 218 Member
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    I think taller people are harder to visualize losing weight, sometimes. I look at the picture and think "huh, I'm surprised you have that much to lose". But you are tall! Oh yah! So, ok, that makes more sense. Lose 30 lbs, and I am sure it will be apparent whether you have more to lose.
  • Hawkian
    Hawkian Posts: 87 Member
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    The best thing to keep in mind here is that people are almost undoubtedly attempting to compliment you by saying this. The notion that they are actively trying to criticize your fitness goals probably doesn't even occur to them. It could be interpreted as, "you look good, it's surprising to me that you feel like you have that much work to do!" But ironically, getting this impression in the first place likely means they are just seeing the impact you've already made and trying to make you feel good about it. Might be counterintuitive, but try to take these kinds of comments just as incentive to keep doing what you're doing, even if (on the surface) they seem to be telling you it's not necessary.
  • blues4miles
    blues4miles Posts: 1,481 Member
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    desireebethea wrote: »
    I think you have to know what is right for you... I am 5 7 and have wide hips I want to be at 170/180 for my goal I am at 237
    I don't care what bmi says I don't want to be under 160 I have a big head and big feet can you picture me looking like a lollipop lol I know how I looked at 160 don't want to be that...
    Anyway bottom line is as long as you are healthy and happy go for it

    I doubt you look like a lollipop at your healthy weight!

    However, I did work with a woman who lost a lot of weight after pregnancy. She went back on adderol because she was diagnosed with ADHD however it has a side effect of appetite suppressant so she was sort of abusing it in order to starve herself. Flash forward and she keeps losing weight, possibly getting underweight. At some point after she started to look healthy to me her further weight loss she didn't look like she was getting smaller so much as her head was getting bigger! I didn't tell her that though, but she was definitely down at the lower part of a healthy weight so I don't think most people have anything to worry about.
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    edited February 2016
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    don't know if this helps... but I am 6'1" and am currently 165-168ish pounds
    This is what I look like at that weight. Not saying you'd look like me at the same weight, but I think it's safe to say that 185 is not dangerously thin.
    IMG_20151206_103855_zpsth4czq3f.jpg

    It's hard for your friends / family to picture you as anything but what you are now. They'll struggle as you lose weight because your face will change, your shape will change. The person they attach all these wonderful emotions to is changing. There's a natural resistance to change built in to all of us.

    They will get used to it. So will you. But the faster you drop the weight, the harder the change will be on all of you. (This is why so many have a hard time accepting their new body - their mind often still thinks they're fat).
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
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    I dunno, I think maybe you should just ask again at 200.
  • lovecraftiana
    lovecraftiana Posts: 16 Member
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    This made me think... I have a friend, who I love to bits. She needs to loose even more than you. Though I never heard from her that she's doing anything constructive about it. So naturally, when we late eat pizza and polish it with wine, and she starts hating herself, I say that she's fine and it's ok to be her - whether like now or if she really decide to work on losing weight that's cool too. But not obligatory. Because I truly care about her self-esteem at first place, and want her to be happy now, not after losing X pounds or whatever. And I don't want to partonize her and push into dieting, because that's mean and won't work anyway. After reading your post I guess she might think I don't want her to be healthy?.. That's sad.
  • parfia
    parfia Posts: 184 Member
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    MireyGal76 wrote: »
    don't know if this helps... but I am 6'1" and am currently 165-168ish pounds
    This is what I look like at that weight. Not saying you'd look like me at the same weight, but I think it's safe to say that 185 is not dangerously thin.
    IMG_20151206_103855_zpsth4czq3f.jpg

    It's hard for your friends / family to picture you as anything but what you are now. They'll struggle as you lose weight because your face will change, your shape will change. The person they attach all these wonderful emotions to is changing. There's a natural resistance to change built in to all of us.

    They will get used to it. So will you. But the faster you drop the weight, the harder the change will be on all of you. (This is why so many have a hard time accepting their new body - their mind often still thinks they're fat).

    You look amazing - if I look anywhere near as good as that, I'd be happy - not that I will EVER get to 165, 180 is going to be enough of a struggle for me!!

    The more I think about it and after what everyone has said on here, I think that they were just trying to be nice rather than criticise and I guess there is nothing wrong with that!! :smile: I'm just going to keep chugging away and when I get to 180, they'll see that it looks absolutely fine on me! :wink:
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    I think people find it hard to visualise. I know that personally, I was the one saying that anything smaller than about 180 wouldn't look right on me, but now I'm there I can see how much further I have to go (I'm a lot shorter than you). Ignore it, they (and you) won't know how you look at 180 until you get there :)
  • CassieCabbage
    CassieCabbage Posts: 4 Member
    edited February 2016
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    I've had this. I also have about 4stone to loose. I've had people commenting on if I go to whatever size or weight then it will be too much.
    I have to be comfortable and happy with my body. I am not aiming for a 'twiggy look' (just my preference) but I do want to be fit, healthy and happy. For me my target weight it just a guideline. I may get close to it and decide I don't want to drop anymore weight and just focus on being fit to achieve the other goals I have set myself. I may get to it and decide to go closer to the lower end of my BMi. I have no idea just yet.

    Ultimately its no one elses damned business. You do what you need to be happy xxx
  • tomteboda
    tomteboda Posts: 2,171 Member
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    parfia wrote: »
    You look amazing - if I look anywhere near as good as that, I'd be happy - not that I will EVER get to 165, 180 is going to be enough of a struggle for me!!

    The more I think about it and after what everyone has said on here, I think that they were just trying to be nice rather than criticise and I guess there is nothing wrong with that!! :smile: I'm just going to keep chugging away and when I get to 180, they'll see that it looks absolutely fine on me! :wink:

    I agree, @MireyGal76 looks amazing!

    I'm glad you came to the realization that people are not trying to diss you by and large. It'll relieve stress from your life :smile: I know you can do this!

    I had a hard time "seeing" the weight I had to lose, too. If I hadn't been healthy at my goal weight as an adult, I probably would've balked at the 90 lb goal loss I set. But because I had that reference, I knew that the mirror was lying, I had more than 40-50 lbs to lose, and I could do it (Incidentally I'm currently 5'9" but have shrunk several inches due to scoliosis, so ... tall as well, and the weight distributes fairly evenly).

    Now I'm down to 190, and I can see the last 15-20 lbs I have to lose pretty clearly. But before it was hard to see changes even in 15-20 lb increments, took a good 30-40 to be noticeably different. It makes sense if you think about volume changes; the taller & larger-framed we are, the more weight we can carry with less difference in volume (percentage-wise).

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