How to stop looking so far into the future?

alohajls

HappyCampr1 wrote: »

You do realize that reaching your goal isn't the end of the road, don't you? You'll still need to be vigilant and careful of what you eat for the rest of your life. Maintaining a lower weight takes more effort than maintaining at a higher weight. I've been in maintenance for over 18 months and it's just as difficult as losing the weight was. I just look better, feel better and get to eat a bit more. That's the only difference.

It's nice to have dreams, but impatience makes weight loss more difficult that it needs to be. Yes, you want to get to your goal weight. When you get there, however, doesn't really matter because this is for the rest of your life.

I do realize that! This is a life sentence. I look forward to maintenance because at least then I'll be doing the work and I'll get to enjoy the benefits of that work. Right now, I do the work and yes, I'm losing weight, but I'm impatient and frustrated because I don't look better, I don't feel better, I don't get to eat more. I'm still decidedly fat and will be for some time to come.

It's just a loooong road. I'm not suggesting that I (or the OP) should give up, quite the opposite. I can't be the only one who has ever felt occasional moments of impatience along the way?

cwolfman13

Once I became consciously aware of the fact that losing weight was only one small aspect of the greater health and wellness picture I stopped worrying about time...it is going to pass either way and I can either do something constructive for my overall health and well being or not...time doesn't care and will pass anyway.

Rather than focusing on a number on the scale, I put my energies into just being a little better today than I was yesterday...to be stronger and fitter and more healthy, etc...the rest takes care of itself. Beyond that, you also have to consider that time is pretty irrelevant given that arriving at some arbitrary goal weight is really just the beginning...it's not the finish line...you've only arrived at the starting line of the true race.

alohajls

HappyCampr1 wrote: »

Of course you're not the only one. It's just a bit of friendly advice from someone who has been there, done that. IMO, impatience is a sure way to steal the happiness out of the journey to your goals. You end up missing all the little NSVs (Non Scale Victories) along the way. The little, small things that happen along the way matter too.

I feel like I'm lecturing now and I apologize. My posts were never intended to make anyone feel bad for whatever feelings they're experiencing with their weight loss. It was just my insight based on what I went through in my two years of weight loss.

No need to apologize! I always appreciate hearing the experiences and insights of those who have been successful--I've learned sooo much lurking in the forums.

Just as weight loss on the scale is not linear, I'm finding that my attitude and enthusiasm for this process is not linear. Some days I am on it and feeling great, and other days I'm a petulant child, whinging and complaining, particularly when even the NSVs seem few and far between (also, hormones). I'm trying to up my mental game!

rankinsect

alohajls wrote: »

I do realize that! This is a life sentence. I look forward to maintenance because at least then I'll be doing the work and I'll get to enjoy the benefits of that work. Right now, I do the work and yes, I'm losing weight, but I'm impatient and frustrated because I don't look better, I don't feel better, I don't get to eat more. I'm still decidedly fat and will be for some time to come.

I can relate, I started out very obese and 85 pounds later... I'm still quite obese.

For me, I worked a lot on fitness as well as weight loss. Working my way up through both strength and cardio training. That's one of the most noticeable benefits so far - rather than being defeated by a flight of stairs, I can casually walk up four flights of stairs and hold a conversation the whole way. My blood pressure went from borderline hypertensive to the low end of the normal range after a few months of doing a lot of cardio. My resting heart rate fell dramatically as well, and now it's pretty excellent, particularly given my heart has to pump blood through my still-obese frame. Blood cholesterol is a bit high still but it seems to be improved significantly from before.

lorrpb

alohajls wrote: »

I totally hear everyone's advice about smaller goals--but I'm struggling with the seemingly endless nature of weight loss, too. I've lost about 70 pounds since August and have at least that much to go. Some days I'm very discouraged, some days I feel great about the process. Then I'll hit a week where I don't lose an ounce (like this week, stupid ovulation!) and I want to drown my sorrows in a five-gallon drum of ice cream (but I don't).

I'm very impatient. I'm good with my diet (for the most part), I tolerate some exercise (fitness goals do NOT work for me, at least not currently), and I just need the time to go by to get me to my goal! I'm dreaming of the beautiful fall clothes I will buy--I will be gorgeous! I just have to keep going.

I'm guessing this is what people mean when they say a lot of losing weight is mental!

It's weight management that's endless. Because it is. I came to terms with that before I started. I knew things had to change forever.

I think many of us are impatient and you can turn that into a good thing...let it become the drive that keeps you going, while accepting that you can't control the time frame.

Finally, don't get upset about your normal bodily processes like ovulation. If it's a FACT that you always have a slight gain at this time, then you can relax because you KNOW it's gonna happen and you know it's NOT fat. What reason is there to stress?

Take care and kept it going.

Francl27

Just focus on the fact that every day you're getting healthier.

LKArgh

Kaelan1995 wrote: »

So, i have A LOT of weight to lose. I started on December 29th at 435 pounds. On February 18th, i weighed in at 408 pounds. 27 pounds shed so far, but i have 258 more pounds to go. I get discouraged thinking about how long that it will take for me to reach my goal weight of 150 pounds. It's happened so many times before, i will get excited about a diet and think about how long i have left to go, and quit. I really want this time to be different. Any advice on how?

Do you have a better plan for the future? 10 years from now, does having this debate with yourself, of whether you should stick to losing the weight and start a new diet or not, does this sound like a good plan? When will you feel better with your future self? If you stick to this change now, or if you are again at the same place as you are now?

size102b

Drop the diet word
You've changed your lifestyle
The flip side of looking at the future is picture yourself slimmer positive thoughts say I'm doing this I will lose the weight I am able
Plus look at this negative
If I don't do this how much will I weigh come 6 months

YOU ARE DOING THIS YOUR FANTASTIC

booksandchocolate12

HappyCampr1 wrote: »

You do realize that reaching your goal isn't the end of the road, don't you? You'll still need to be vigilant and careful of what you eat for the rest of your life. Maintaining a lower weight takes more effort than maintaining at a higher weight.

^^This, exactly.

I once went for a physical, and naturally the doc brought up my weight. Which is fine. But then he said. "Once you lose the weight, it's over! It's easy from that point on!"

Um...what?

Vortex88

"Life is what happens when you are making other plans" - John Lennon

By far the best quote for me to remind myself that life is NOW and not in the future when some goal is or isn't achieved.

It's so easy to say but so true: the best gift you can give yourself is to like (even love if you can) yourself as you are now including your body. Try it - try, right now, giving your body some liking... and some more.... and some more...

If you succeed at this, two things will happen:

1) your body will actually change much faster

2) you don't need it change to feel happier (this is the key) i.e. no more impatience - you are already happy

I hope you get this. It's so powerful.

Lov3lif3

I have a lot to lose too so I do feel your pain but those lbs add up, do some walking too and try mixing your diet up on a few days with lower carb foods I always found slimming world red days really helped as they were lower carb and I lost more in those weeks.

Fitnin6280

Honestly I try to look back instead of forward. You've already started and you can look at that as success... Remember that's 27 less than you weighed just two months ago...

Nachise

Congratulations, and best of luck on your journey to a new way of life!

Set an immediate goal, such as logging your food and exercise for today. Repeat. Once a week, add something new, such as adding a new healthy food, a new addition to your exercise regimen, or learning how to prepare healthier meals. You did not gain all this weight overnight. You won't and shouldn't lose it this way.

I would recommend finding a good nutritionist, because there are times you are going to come to a stall. Mine has helped me so much by helping me tweak my meals and exercise, and setting up new challenges.

You can do this!

cbihatt

If I were in your place, I would probably not weigh myself every week. Forget about the number on the scale. I would put the focus more on other things, as everyone else has said. Pick a goal and work to achieve it. It doesn't have to be a big thing. It could be as simple as logging every day for a month, no matter what. When you reach that goal, you pick a new one. Achieving goals you have set for yourself is a huge confidence booster. When you know you can achieve something, you are more likely to keep trying. It's like built in motivation to keep working toward the next goal.

cattfield7

Thank you for posting this. I'm feeling the same way these last few days. I find myself day dreaming about being thin, and doing more. I forget how much better I already feel. I've lost 15 lbs and feel healthier and happier than I ever have most days. Surely there are things you're feeling at this point too- try focusing on those victories rather than on where you're not. Congratulations on your progress so far! Just keep on keeping on.. You'll get there!

xX_PhoenixRising_Xx

It helped me to remember that if I quit then I was never going to get to goal. And yes, setting smaller goals. I needed to lose roughly half my body weight, started at 329 lbs. I thought it would take me 18 months, it didn't. Life happened and it took longer but hey, I decided not to quit. I set myself goals of losing 5 kg at a time (roughly 12 lbs) and that's what I did. It all adds up and now I'm at maintenance.