How to stop looking so far into the future?
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youve done fantastic!
ive lost 80 pounds over the past year or so, and have about 30 more to lose.
i take it 5, 10 pounds at a time. i have good days and bad. but each day is new.
its not a race.0 -
It can be overwhelming to look at the big picture! I agree with others to focus on mini-goals....5 lbs, 10 lbs, whatever.
You're doing great. Keep it up!0 -
I totally hear everyone's advice about smaller goals--but I'm struggling with the seemingly endless nature of weight loss, too. I've lost about 70 pounds since August and have at least that much to go. Some days I'm very discouraged, some days I feel great about the process. Then I'll hit a week where I don't lose an ounce (like this week, stupid ovulation!) and I want to drown my sorrows in a five-gallon drum of ice cream (but I don't).
I'm very impatient. I'm good with my diet (for the most part), I tolerate some exercise (fitness goals do NOT work for me, at least not currently), and I just need the time to go by to get me to my goal! I'm dreaming of the beautiful fall clothes I will buy--I will be gorgeous! I just have to keep going.
I'm guessing this is what people mean when they say a lot of losing weight is mental!0 -
Break down your loss into manageable chunks. I broke down my goal into a weekly 1.5 lbs and all I focused on was the current week and the next week. I celebrated each success each week and before I knew it 40 lbs were gone.0
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I totally hear everyone's advice about smaller goals--but I'm struggling with the seemingly endless nature of weight loss, too. I've lost about 70 pounds since August and have at least that much to go. Some days I'm very discouraged, some days I feel great about the process. Then I'll hit a week where I don't lose an ounce (like this week, stupid ovulation!) and I want to drown my sorrows in a five-gallon drum of ice cream (but I don't).
I'm very impatient. I'm good with my diet (for the most part), I tolerate some exercise (fitness goals do NOT work for me, at least not currently), and I just need the time to go by to get me to my goal! I'm dreaming of the beautiful fall clothes I will buy--I will be gorgeous! I just have to keep going.
I'm guessing this is what people mean when they say a lot of losing weight is mental!
my weight fluctuates by up to 7pounds in a day.
surely you must know some of these things given youve lost 70 pounds....
relax. ITS NOT A RACE.0 -
I hear you, I keep calculating in my head how long it will take or how many weeks, months, years to reach goal. However, when I do that it's crazy-making! Try to find balance between the mental attention and devotion to the goal of losing weight and other life projects. When my life is busy and I have other projects and goals (non health related), the diet part feels easier, because I have less time to devote to thinking about food.
So... get into a food/exercise routine, think in terms of short-term goals, embrace this as a lifestyle change that will last forever, and get busy with new life passions or goals that don't relate to the scale.
Fantastic job on your progress so far!0 -
callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »
my weight fluctuates by up to 7pounds in a day.
surely you must know some of these things given youve lost 70 pounds....
relax. ITS NOT A RACE.
I know--really! I track my weight daily, I read the forums and listen to the good advice here.
I think my point is that when you have a looong way to go to reach your goal, there are invariably days when, even though you know what the right answer is (be patient, stay the course, it's not a race, this is a lifestyle change), you still get fed up and frustrated. It will pass!0 -
Thank you all for your helpful input! It has been encouraging and motivational for me. I am not going to contribute to the advice as I am struggling with the same issue - becoming overwhelmed when I thought about how MUCH i had left to lose. I LOVE all the non-weight, small achievement goals. It is going to be a challenge to make that cognitive switch - so even THIS will need to be achieved by some 'small' win. I was in the military so I have the ability to 'just do it' - and I guess this is how I'll make myself NOT think of the 'big picture' and 'ultimate goal'.
You are all appreciated for your uplifting words and thoughtful advice.
Kaelan1995 - Thank you for starting this post. I also cheer you on as you make the wondrous journey to the renewed and healthier YOU! Go Girl!
/r0 -
Kaelan1995 wrote: »So, i have A LOT of weight to lose. I started on December 29th at 435 pounds. On February 18th, i weighed in at 408 pounds. 27 pounds shed so far, but i have 258 more pounds to go. I get discouraged thinking about how long that it will take for me to reach my goal weight of 150 pounds. It's happened so many times before, i will get excited about a diet and think about how long i have left to go, and quit. I really want this time to be different. Any advice on how?
First off- 27 pounds in that time is an amazing loss! Congratulations!
Second- everybody is dead on about the fact that you have to reframe your thinking to include non-scale and short-term goal terms, so that you're getting satisfaction and reinforcement about your progress frequently. The best, most effective goals for anything (not just weight loss) are realistic, measurable, and timed. And you always want your goals to be things you actually control- otherwise you run the risk of doing everything right, not achieving the goal due to factors outside your control, and burning out in frustration.
And the number on the scale, ultimately, is outside your control.
Don't get me wrong- there are a lot of things you do that affect that number, but what it actually is on any given day is not something you can control. So pinning your satisfaction and sense of accomplishment to that is a dangerous game. You can do everything in your power to lose weight and still not make your scale goals by a given date for all sorts of reasons, and a lot of people struggle with that when it happens. And ultimately, the scale is just a way of measuring your progress in the process of eating better and moving more.
So push the scale mentally to the side a bit, and focus on the things that are in your control about the process. What food choices you make, how consistently you log, whether you choose to move more. Non-scale victories are great when they're analogous to scale victories, like fitting in to a smaller belt notch or seeing your toes while standing up straight, but they're even better when they're process oriented. Did you reach 10K steps every day for a week, did you hit your macros today, did you log 95% of your meals by weight for a month? These things are not only more within your control, but they're ongoing. So no matter what the scale said this morning, you can be satisfied when you get in bed that you achieved your goals for the day, instead of looking forward months or years to a moment of reinforcement, AND they're the things you actually need to be learning and making a consistent habit to achieve and maintain your goal weight permanently.
A person who is 200+ pounds overweight but learning to take control of their choices and change their eating and movement habits permanently is actually on a better track to a lifetime healthy weight than a person who is 20 pounds overweight and yo-yoing every few months through crash diets. That 200+ overweight person is trending down- maybe slowly, but down- and the 20 lb overweight person is trending up- maybe slowly, but up- and in a few years, they will have switched places.
And those years are going to pass whether you do this or not. So don't focus on "it's going to take 2 years to get to my goal," focus on "for the next two years I can be losing weight, feeling better, and arriving at my goal, or I can stay this size or get even bigger."
Because those are your only options. Do this, stay the same, or get even bigger. The time is going to pass no matter which way you go, so why not spend it heading in the direction you want to go?
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HappyCampr1 wrote: »
You do realize that reaching your goal isn't the end of the road, don't you? You'll still need to be vigilant and careful of what you eat for the rest of your life. Maintaining a lower weight takes more effort than maintaining at a higher weight. I've been in maintenance for over 18 months and it's just as difficult as losing the weight was. I just look better, feel better and get to eat a bit more. That's the only difference.
It's nice to have dreams, but impatience makes weight loss more difficult that it needs to be. Yes, you want to get to your goal weight. When you get there, however, doesn't really matter because this is for the rest of your life.
I do realize that! This is a life sentence. I look forward to maintenance because at least then I'll be doing the work and I'll get to enjoy the benefits of that work. Right now, I do the work and yes, I'm losing weight, but I'm impatient and frustrated because I don't look better, I don't feel better, I don't get to eat more. I'm still decidedly fat and will be for some time to come.
It's just a loooong road. I'm not suggesting that I (or the OP) should give up, quite the opposite. I can't be the only one who has ever felt occasional moments of impatience along the way?0 -
Once I became consciously aware of the fact that losing weight was only one small aspect of the greater health and wellness picture I stopped worrying about time...it is going to pass either way and I can either do something constructive for my overall health and well being or not...time doesn't care and will pass anyway.
Rather than focusing on a number on the scale, I put my energies into just being a little better today than I was yesterday...to be stronger and fitter and more healthy, etc...the rest takes care of itself. Beyond that, you also have to consider that time is pretty irrelevant given that arriving at some arbitrary goal weight is really just the beginning...it's not the finish line...you've only arrived at the starting line of the true race.0 -
HappyCampr1 wrote: »Of course you're not the only one. It's just a bit of friendly advice from someone who has been there, done that. IMO, impatience is a sure way to steal the happiness out of the journey to your goals. You end up missing all the little NSVs (Non Scale Victories) along the way. The little, small things that happen along the way matter too.
I feel like I'm lecturing now and I apologize. My posts were never intended to make anyone feel bad for whatever feelings they're experiencing with their weight loss. It was just my insight based on what I went through in my two years of weight loss.
No need to apologize! I always appreciate hearing the experiences and insights of those who have been successful--I've learned sooo much lurking in the forums.
Just as weight loss on the scale is not linear, I'm finding that my attitude and enthusiasm for this process is not linear. Some days I am on it and feeling great, and other days I'm a petulant child, whinging and complaining, particularly when even the NSVs seem few and far between (also, hormones). I'm trying to up my mental game!0 -
I do realize that! This is a life sentence. I look forward to maintenance because at least then I'll be doing the work and I'll get to enjoy the benefits of that work. Right now, I do the work and yes, I'm losing weight, but I'm impatient and frustrated because I don't look better, I don't feel better, I don't get to eat more. I'm still decidedly fat and will be for some time to come.
I can relate, I started out very obese and 85 pounds later... I'm still quite obese.
For me, I worked a lot on fitness as well as weight loss. Working my way up through both strength and cardio training. That's one of the most noticeable benefits so far - rather than being defeated by a flight of stairs, I can casually walk up four flights of stairs and hold a conversation the whole way. My blood pressure went from borderline hypertensive to the low end of the normal range after a few months of doing a lot of cardio. My resting heart rate fell dramatically as well, and now it's pretty excellent, particularly given my heart has to pump blood through my still-obese frame. Blood cholesterol is a bit high still but it seems to be improved significantly from before.0 -
I totally hear everyone's advice about smaller goals--but I'm struggling with the seemingly endless nature of weight loss, too. I've lost about 70 pounds since August and have at least that much to go. Some days I'm very discouraged, some days I feel great about the process. Then I'll hit a week where I don't lose an ounce (like this week, stupid ovulation!) and I want to drown my sorrows in a five-gallon drum of ice cream (but I don't).
I'm very impatient. I'm good with my diet (for the most part), I tolerate some exercise (fitness goals do NOT work for me, at least not currently), and I just need the time to go by to get me to my goal! I'm dreaming of the beautiful fall clothes I will buy--I will be gorgeous! I just have to keep going.
I'm guessing this is what people mean when they say a lot of losing weight is mental!
It's weight management that's endless. Because it is. I came to terms with that before I started. I knew things had to change forever.
I think many of us are impatient and you can turn that into a good thing...let it become the drive that keeps you going, while accepting that you can't control the time frame.
Finally, don't get upset about your normal bodily processes like ovulation. If it's a FACT that you always have a slight gain at this time, then you can relax because you KNOW it's gonna happen and you know it's NOT fat. What reason is there to stress?
Take care and kept it going.0 -
Just focus on the fact that every day you're getting healthier.0
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Kaelan1995 wrote: »So, i have A LOT of weight to lose. I started on December 29th at 435 pounds. On February 18th, i weighed in at 408 pounds. 27 pounds shed so far, but i have 258 more pounds to go. I get discouraged thinking about how long that it will take for me to reach my goal weight of 150 pounds. It's happened so many times before, i will get excited about a diet and think about how long i have left to go, and quit. I really want this time to be different. Any advice on how?
Do you have a better plan for the future? 10 years from now, does having this debate with yourself, of whether you should stick to losing the weight and start a new diet or not, does this sound like a good plan? When will you feel better with your future self? If you stick to this change now, or if you are again at the same place as you are now?0 -
Drop the diet word
You've changed your lifestyle
The flip side of looking at the future is picture yourself slimmer positive thoughts say I'm doing this I will lose the weight I am able
Plus look at this negative
If I don't do this how much will I weigh come 6 months
YOU ARE DOING THIS YOUR FANTASTIC0 -
HappyCampr1 wrote: »You do realize that reaching your goal isn't the end of the road, don't you? You'll still need to be vigilant and careful of what you eat for the rest of your life. Maintaining a lower weight takes more effort than maintaining at a higher weight.
^^This, exactly.
I once went for a physical, and naturally the doc brought up my weight. Which is fine. But then he said. "Once you lose the weight, it's over! It's easy from that point on!"
Um...what?
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"Life is what happens when you are making other plans" - John Lennon
By far the best quote for me to remind myself that life is NOW and not in the future when some goal is or isn't achieved.
It's so easy to say but so true: the best gift you can give yourself is to like (even love if you can) yourself as you are now including your body. Try it - try, right now, giving your body some liking... and some more.... and some more...
If you succeed at this, two things will happen:
1) your body will actually change much faster
2) you don't need it change to feel happier (this is the key) i.e. no more impatience - you are already happy
I hope you get this. It's so powerful.0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqh4JLkp5c0
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