How to stop looking so far into the future?
Kaelan1995
Posts: 20 Member
So, i have A LOT of weight to lose. I started on December 29th at 435 pounds. On February 18th, i weighed in at 408 pounds. 27 pounds shed so far, but i have 258 more pounds to go. I get discouraged thinking about how long that it will take for me to reach my goal weight of 150 pounds. It's happened so many times before, i will get excited about a diet and think about how long i have left to go, and quit. I really want this time to be different. Any advice on how?
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Replies
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One day at a time, one pound at a time. It won't happen overnight. Don't put yourself under so much pressure.0
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Mini goals were important to me losing 60+ pounds, and will be really important when your goal is that large.
You're only 9 pounds from the 300s! That's exceptional! I rewarded myself at every ten pounds with something--getting bigger as I got closer to goal weight. My next nine, I'll be at my goal, and I'll get a new tattoo.
Figure out rewards and goals that work for you. At as much as you have to lose, 20 might be more doable, or you could do 20 until you're in the 200s, and then every ten. What works for you is what's important.0 -
For me it was a matter of how far along I could have been had I stuck with it instead of stopping and starting. I don't think there is any advice anyone is going to give you that is going to work better than the realization that you just have to do it or you will regret it. Maybe thinking of it as you'll never regret getting up every day and working out and eating right but you always know you'll regret laying on the couch binging on pizza all day. Also things get so much easier when you start seeing the results in your body, physical progress is the best form of motivation.0
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Shift your focus. Try making a short term fitness goal. Something like squatting XX lbs and then when you can do that, aim for more.
Goals I made to take the focus away from my weight:
- Log everything I ate
- (once I got a food scale) weigh all meals prepared at home including prepackaged single serve foods
- walk 0.5 mile without needing to stop for a break (yes I was really out of shape when I started...not even making it 0.25 of a mile without a break)....that then evolved to 0.75 of a mile to 1 mile to 1.5 miles to 2 miles and eventually to 7 miles
- once I achieved my walking goals, I switched to running a 5k and started using a Couch to 5 k app (I personally like the Zombies,Run!5k Training app)
- (once I started using a Fitbit) get 5k steps a day. Once that was normal, I increased it to 6k then to 7k to where it's currently set at 12k (still working to make this goal a normal thing for me before I increase it again).
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You don't have 258 pounds left to go... you have 25... then 25 more... then 25 more. Also, agree with the above, you HAVE to have a non scale goal whether it be a measurement, fitness goal, new personal best weight, or like me.. my first? Do a damn pull up! I felt like the king of the world that day when I could do a single unassisted pull up.0
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Awesome start, way to get it! You're not on a diet, you're changing your lifestyle. You just get up each day and keep getting it.0
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shadow2soul wrote: »Shift your focus. Try making a short term fitness goal. Something like squatting XX lbs and then when you can do that, aim for more.
Goals I made to take the focus away from my weight:
- Log everything I ate
- (once I got a food scale) weigh all meals prepared at home including prepackaged single serve foods
- walk 0.5 mile without needing to stop for a break (yes I was really out of shape when I started...not even making it 0.25 of a mile without a break)....that then evolved to 0.75 of a mile to 1 mile to 1.5 miles to 2 miles and eventually to 7 miles
- once I achieved my walking goals, I switched to running a 5k and started using a Couch to 5 k app (I personally like the Zombies,Run!5k Training app)
- (once I started using a Fitbit) get 5k steps a day. Once that was normal, I increased it to 6k then to 7k to where it's currently set at 12k (still working to make this goal a normal thing for me before I increase it again).
This really mimics the goals I continually set for myself. I've found it has really helped to motivate me in making my lifestyle changes stick. I've also shifted my thinking to remembering that I am trying to live healthier, i.e. making a lifestyle change, instead of concentrating on the fact that I'm on a "diet" so I can lose weight. I intend for my weight loss to be permanent, and that I will keep up the healthy habits I've developed, such as walking or running every evening, almost without fail, and keeping my portions in check.
Good luck!0 -
Congrats on your progress! I started with 150 to lose and that was completely overwhelming. My trainer made clear from day1 that we were not gonna discuss the long term. Everything is mini goals, pound by pound. We weigh, take progress pics, measure, plus all the fitness progress. When one area isn't going so well another is. Always something positive to focus on. It's been 20 months and I have less than 20 lbs to go. Even now I can't think too much about when I will reach it time wise because it might take longer than I hope.0
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I agree with the others, don't look at the big picture, set small achievable goals. Take each day, each pound, each step as it comes. They all add up. Losing slowly lets the body & the mind adjust. You are doing great. It's not easy and at times it is discouraging, but don't think of this as a diet...it is a lifestyle change.
Check out this group: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/3322-100-pounds-with-no-surgery0 -
The time is going to go by no matter how much you weigh. I've been at this for just about 2 yrs. I've come to the realization that this is a lifetime change. It's not .... so many days, months, etc. until I weigh a certain weight. It's my life everyday. Each day is a new chance to eat healthy and find time for activity, because TODAY is the day I'm living for. Good job on your progress so far. Keep at it...one day at a time.0
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Maybe set the goals into smaller ones? Instead of having 1 big goal to work towards, break them down. I have 35kg to lose (roughly 77lb) but to reach my first goal I need to lose 11kg. Also once I reach each small goal I have set I will be rewarding myself with a new tattoo or new outfit
Also it helps to have friends on your list who aer also in the same boat so you can cheer each other on. I've sent you a friend request by the way x 0 -
Pretty much what everyone else said. Start with smaller benchmark goals and work your way towards where you want to be. Don't make every goal about weight, but more about fitness and nutrition, and reward yourself for each min-goal you reach!
You can do this. We're all here to help and support you. 0 -
shadow2soul wrote: »Shift your focus. Try making a short term fitness goal. Something like squatting XX lbs and then when you can do that, aim for more.
Goals I made to take the focus away from my weight:
- Log everything I ate
- (once I got a food scale) weigh all meals prepared at home including prepackaged single serve foods
- walk 0.5 mile without needing to stop for a break (yes I was really out of shape when I started...not even making it 0.25 of a mile without a break)....that then evolved to 0.75 of a mile to 1 mile to 1.5 miles to 2 miles and eventually to 7 miles
- once I achieved my walking goals, I switched to running a 5k and started using a Couch to 5 k app (I personally like the Zombies,Run!5k Training app)
- (once I started using a Fitbit) get 5k steps a day. Once that was normal, I increased it to 6k then to 7k to where it's currently set at 12k (still working to make this goal a normal thing for me before I increase it again).
This.
It's not easy not to think about the future and all that. But target behavioral changes or performance goals that keep you on track to your larger goal of losing weight, rather than weight changes. For me, it takes constant reminding...you can do it.
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Alot of people have said it but short term goals are key to not getting discouraged. Say, shoot for 30 pounds and you'll reward yourself with something non food related, like good seats to a sporting event, shopping spree, massage, whatever people like... the long term focus is hard but gets easier the closer you get.0
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FitOldMomma wrote: »The time is going to go by no matter how much you weigh. I've been at this for just about 2 yrs. I've come to the realization that this is a lifetime change. It's not .... so many days, months, etc. until I weigh a certain weight. It's my life everyday. Each day is a new chance to eat healthy and find time for activity, because TODAY is the day I'm living for. Good job on your progress so far. Keep at it...one day at a time.
Yep.
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I agree with all the advice about taking things 1 day at a time but the fact that you have a large amount to lose works in your favour time wise {IMHO}
It's only taken you 7 weeks to lose 27lbs, so at the moment we're looking at 30lbs loss every 2 months. In six months you could lose another 90lbs + the 27lbs already lost = -117lbs, taking your weight down to 328lbs - almost half way to goal!!
As you lose weight your rate of loss will lessen but even so it is possible to achieve your goal of 150lbs in the same amount of time it takes for people who have much less to lose.
It's taken me six months to lose what you have lost in 7 weeks. Keep going, and good luck
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I would also recommend to focus on behavior goals instead of just weight goals; if you do the right things, the weight WILL come off - get some structure to your eating, and get moving, if you can. You also need to work on your mindset. If you want to keep the weight off, and I think you do, you have to be mindful of your behavior every day for the rest of your life. That can seem daunting. But this doesn't mean a life of deprivation. It's about paying attention to yourself, and giving yourself what you need, not more, but not less, either. Don't follow some diet (an eating plan made by someone else that cuts out foods or consists of bizarre rules). Eat food you like in appropriate portions, several times a day. Enjoy your food. Try new foods from time to time, and if you like them, incorporate them in your diet (the way you eat) Do things with your body that makes you feel good. It can be walking or swimming in the beginning; when you become lighter, you can discover new ways to move and get stronger.0
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I've been a member of MFP for over three years. I didn't have as much weight to lose as you do, but the process is the same. All that matters is you start.
You already know what to do. Everyone's ideas are great, but the only thing that will work is if you embrace what you already know about yourself - think about what in the past you have done that you were successful at and apply that to this.
Every time you fail, you are one step closer to success. Failure is a good experience to have because it shows you what not to do the next time. No one great, ever became that way without failing often.0 -
This!! Until you understand that this is a lifetime journey that there is no end to living your life in a different manner, it will be difficult. The only time it will be different is that u commit to this life change all your lifeLiftng4Lis wrote: »Awesome start, way to get it! You're not on a diet, you're changing your lifestyle. You just get up each day and keep getting it.
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Set yourself mini goals, I found the idea of needing to lose 150lb+ just too much to deal with, so I've set myself a lot of smaller goals over the short and medium term. My main goal is to lose 50lb this year and then I have my 10% weight loss goal that gets updated when smashed (I read somewhere that there are huge health benefits to losing just 10%). Finally I have my monthly goals that aren't always weight based, last month was but this month I have a distance goal, attempting to walk 400km over the month.0
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youve done fantastic!
ive lost 80 pounds over the past year or so, and have about 30 more to lose.
i take it 5, 10 pounds at a time. i have good days and bad. but each day is new.
its not a race.0 -
It can be overwhelming to look at the big picture! I agree with others to focus on mini-goals....5 lbs, 10 lbs, whatever.
You're doing great. Keep it up!0 -
I totally hear everyone's advice about smaller goals--but I'm struggling with the seemingly endless nature of weight loss, too. I've lost about 70 pounds since August and have at least that much to go. Some days I'm very discouraged, some days I feel great about the process. Then I'll hit a week where I don't lose an ounce (like this week, stupid ovulation!) and I want to drown my sorrows in a five-gallon drum of ice cream (but I don't).
I'm very impatient. I'm good with my diet (for the most part), I tolerate some exercise (fitness goals do NOT work for me, at least not currently), and I just need the time to go by to get me to my goal! I'm dreaming of the beautiful fall clothes I will buy--I will be gorgeous! I just have to keep going.
I'm guessing this is what people mean when they say a lot of losing weight is mental!0 -
Break down your loss into manageable chunks. I broke down my goal into a weekly 1.5 lbs and all I focused on was the current week and the next week. I celebrated each success each week and before I knew it 40 lbs were gone.0
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I totally hear everyone's advice about smaller goals--but I'm struggling with the seemingly endless nature of weight loss, too. I've lost about 70 pounds since August and have at least that much to go. Some days I'm very discouraged, some days I feel great about the process. Then I'll hit a week where I don't lose an ounce (like this week, stupid ovulation!) and I want to drown my sorrows in a five-gallon drum of ice cream (but I don't).
I'm very impatient. I'm good with my diet (for the most part), I tolerate some exercise (fitness goals do NOT work for me, at least not currently), and I just need the time to go by to get me to my goal! I'm dreaming of the beautiful fall clothes I will buy--I will be gorgeous! I just have to keep going.
I'm guessing this is what people mean when they say a lot of losing weight is mental!
my weight fluctuates by up to 7pounds in a day.
surely you must know some of these things given youve lost 70 pounds....
relax. ITS NOT A RACE.0 -
I hear you, I keep calculating in my head how long it will take or how many weeks, months, years to reach goal. However, when I do that it's crazy-making! Try to find balance between the mental attention and devotion to the goal of losing weight and other life projects. When my life is busy and I have other projects and goals (non health related), the diet part feels easier, because I have less time to devote to thinking about food.
So... get into a food/exercise routine, think in terms of short-term goals, embrace this as a lifestyle change that will last forever, and get busy with new life passions or goals that don't relate to the scale.
Fantastic job on your progress so far!0 -
callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »
my weight fluctuates by up to 7pounds in a day.
surely you must know some of these things given youve lost 70 pounds....
relax. ITS NOT A RACE.
I know--really! I track my weight daily, I read the forums and listen to the good advice here.
I think my point is that when you have a looong way to go to reach your goal, there are invariably days when, even though you know what the right answer is (be patient, stay the course, it's not a race, this is a lifestyle change), you still get fed up and frustrated. It will pass!0 -
Thank you all for your helpful input! It has been encouraging and motivational for me. I am not going to contribute to the advice as I am struggling with the same issue - becoming overwhelmed when I thought about how MUCH i had left to lose. I LOVE all the non-weight, small achievement goals. It is going to be a challenge to make that cognitive switch - so even THIS will need to be achieved by some 'small' win. I was in the military so I have the ability to 'just do it' - and I guess this is how I'll make myself NOT think of the 'big picture' and 'ultimate goal'.
You are all appreciated for your uplifting words and thoughtful advice.
Kaelan1995 - Thank you for starting this post. I also cheer you on as you make the wondrous journey to the renewed and healthier YOU! Go Girl!
/r0 -
Kaelan1995 wrote: »So, i have A LOT of weight to lose. I started on December 29th at 435 pounds. On February 18th, i weighed in at 408 pounds. 27 pounds shed so far, but i have 258 more pounds to go. I get discouraged thinking about how long that it will take for me to reach my goal weight of 150 pounds. It's happened so many times before, i will get excited about a diet and think about how long i have left to go, and quit. I really want this time to be different. Any advice on how?
First off- 27 pounds in that time is an amazing loss! Congratulations!
Second- everybody is dead on about the fact that you have to reframe your thinking to include non-scale and short-term goal terms, so that you're getting satisfaction and reinforcement about your progress frequently. The best, most effective goals for anything (not just weight loss) are realistic, measurable, and timed. And you always want your goals to be things you actually control- otherwise you run the risk of doing everything right, not achieving the goal due to factors outside your control, and burning out in frustration.
And the number on the scale, ultimately, is outside your control.
Don't get me wrong- there are a lot of things you do that affect that number, but what it actually is on any given day is not something you can control. So pinning your satisfaction and sense of accomplishment to that is a dangerous game. You can do everything in your power to lose weight and still not make your scale goals by a given date for all sorts of reasons, and a lot of people struggle with that when it happens. And ultimately, the scale is just a way of measuring your progress in the process of eating better and moving more.
So push the scale mentally to the side a bit, and focus on the things that are in your control about the process. What food choices you make, how consistently you log, whether you choose to move more. Non-scale victories are great when they're analogous to scale victories, like fitting in to a smaller belt notch or seeing your toes while standing up straight, but they're even better when they're process oriented. Did you reach 10K steps every day for a week, did you hit your macros today, did you log 95% of your meals by weight for a month? These things are not only more within your control, but they're ongoing. So no matter what the scale said this morning, you can be satisfied when you get in bed that you achieved your goals for the day, instead of looking forward months or years to a moment of reinforcement, AND they're the things you actually need to be learning and making a consistent habit to achieve and maintain your goal weight permanently.
A person who is 200+ pounds overweight but learning to take control of their choices and change their eating and movement habits permanently is actually on a better track to a lifetime healthy weight than a person who is 20 pounds overweight and yo-yoing every few months through crash diets. That 200+ overweight person is trending down- maybe slowly, but down- and the 20 lb overweight person is trending up- maybe slowly, but up- and in a few years, they will have switched places.
And those years are going to pass whether you do this or not. So don't focus on "it's going to take 2 years to get to my goal," focus on "for the next two years I can be losing weight, feeling better, and arriving at my goal, or I can stay this size or get even bigger."
Because those are your only options. Do this, stay the same, or get even bigger. The time is going to pass no matter which way you go, so why not spend it heading in the direction you want to go?
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