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How to be less clingy with guys?

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  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
    Francine_rivas wrote: »
    majigurl wrote: »
    Get more hobbies. Learn to be clingy to yourself... :wink:

    And.. what type of "clingy" are we talking about? Like, Call every 5 mins, taking his phone when he's preoccupied to see if he has txt other people, keeping clumps of his hair type of clingy?

    I get anxious when they don't text me everyday and I'm always checking my phone and get sad when they don't text and I always am scared they will cheat on me so I want them to hang with me as much as possible and I think about the person way too much.

    therapy
  • StrongLife
    StrongLife Posts: 525 Member
    I'm kind of clingy person as well so I went through exactly what you are going through. Experience does say it will only cause heartache. It was so hard though. What worked is I pretended I was a fisherman. Put myself at the party, at the coffee shop, whatever...with no expectations. Sometimes the fish will bite and sometimes they won't. Try taking life, and relationships a little seriously. Make it a game. It worked for me!

    I totally agree with finding a hobby. Something you want to become skilled at so that you use some mental energy thinking about it.
  • lisa9805
    lisa9805 Posts: 303 Member
    Soccermavrick wrote: »
    Until you love yourself, and value yourself, no one else will.

    If you love yourself, and find things that interest you, then you will probably find that you have less time to obsess over them. In addition, you will start to find that you have value. And when you have value, others see that too and appreciate it. (Yes some guys and gals are a**holes, but not everyone.)

    good answer. I agree
  • yourhiddengem
    yourhiddengem Posts: 171 Member
    Just curious (and I didn't read this whole thread yet so sorry if this has already been asked) do you have some really good close friends? Cause maybe you're craving human connection because you don't have enough close people in your life?

    Just a shot in the dark. I have an amazing group of friends and I find that makes it easier to realize that I'm lovable and also to not care as much about needing someone to be close to if that makes sense.
  • yasminara
    yasminara Posts: 247 Member
    yourhiddengem wrote: »
    Just curious (and I didn't read this whole thread yet so sorry if this has already been asked) do you have some really good close friends? Cause maybe you're craving human connection because you don't have enough close people in your life?

    Just a shot in the dark. I have an amazing group of friends and I find that makes it easier to realize that I'm lovable and also to not care as much about needing someone to be close to if that makes sense.


    This! I agree with her. No worries sweetheart, I was a clingy person too. Deep down for me it was because I didnt have other people around me to love or even spent enough time to love myself. My advice: put the phone down. Not just when you're talking to a guy. (Except mfp because of fitness.)

    I started going places by myself, concerts, parks, even new events. Really tried to meet people and friends. Joined a sorority and took fun girl trips and fun nights just with friends. I learned that I was worthy and also that people around me really loved me the way I was. It made not feel a "need" for partnership. When I talked to a guy, I still kept myself busy with things. I promise you, you will be so much more satisfied when you fall in love with yourself. Then the cute guy who's attracted to you will just be extra nice. ❤️
  • yasminara
    yasminara Posts: 247 Member
    And I did it all with my PHONE DOWN. Social media does nothing but make you feel extra alone in your house. Promise you. Instead be the person who has the cool stuff to post
  • sunnybeaches105
    sunnybeaches105 Posts: 2,831 Member
    Find a guy that is like you. Everyone is crazy, clingy, needy, etc. in their own ways. Some of us are just lucky enough to find someone who compliments our own crazy.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,055 Member
    Francine_rivas wrote: »
    majigurl wrote: »
    Francine_rivas wrote: »
    madhatter2013 wrote: »
    Love yourself more than them.

    How do you love yourself when you feel so terrible about yourself?

    I'm a Taurus also :)

    Well, if you feel so terrible about yourself.. you REALLLY shouldn't be dating. Not yet. Seek help to help with the anxiety and emotional issues you are currently dealing with. The sooner you can find help, the sooner you can be open for a relationship.

    I'm very big on the idea that if you need someone in your life, you shouldn't be with them. I you should "want" them in your life.. but if they are not there or not, you know you can be great all on your own.

    You HAVE to be ok with being alone before others will want to be with you.

    Yeah... I know I should only be friends but I really want that closeness. I'll never be happy with someone until I love myself but idk how to. I have generalized anxiety disorder lol. I was seeing a psychologist but she moved 90 minutes from where I am :/I really don't want to start seeing a new psychologist so I'm just going to go on meds. Hopefully that helps with my anxiety!

    If you don't think you're worth the effort why should a quality guy?

    Meds might help with anxiety, but I doubt they will help with the underlying issue. What did your psychologist recommend when she moved?
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    edited March 2016
    This content has been removed.
  • KeepingUpWithKari
    KeepingUpWithKari Posts: 287 Member
    Lmao

    Go drink some water and stop quenching your THIRST with a man's attention.
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