How to be less clingy with guys?

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Francine_rivas
Francine_rivas Posts: 77 Member
in Chit-Chat
I don't really talk to guys but when I do get super clingy! It's hard to stop:/
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  • majigurl
    majigurl Posts: 660 Member
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    Get more hobbies. Learn to be clingy to yourself... :wink:

    And.. what type of "clingy" are we talking about? Like, Call every 5 mins, taking his phone when he's preoccupied to see if he has txt other people, keeping clumps of his hair type of clingy?

  • Rage_Phish
    Rage_Phish Posts: 1,508 Member
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    try studying the D.E.N.N.I.S. system a bit
  • Francine_rivas
    Francine_rivas Posts: 77 Member
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    majigurl wrote: »
    Get more hobbies. Learn to be clingy to yourself... :wink:

    And.. what type of "clingy" are we talking about? Like, Call every 5 mins, taking his phone when he's preoccupied to see if he has txt other people, keeping clumps of his hair type of clingy?

    I get anxious when they don't text me everyday and I'm always checking my phone and get sad when they don't text and I always am scared they will cheat on me so I want them to hang with me as much as possible and I think about the person way too much.
  • majigurl
    majigurl Posts: 660 Member
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    Yeah...

    That sounds super unhealthy and stressful for you.

    I'm guessing something has happened in you past to make you react this way? You may need to look at counseling if it is this disruptive to your life. which is must be if you are feeling the effects so badly you are posting about it.

    It's not normal to feel that stressed out.
  • Francine_rivas
    Francine_rivas Posts: 77 Member
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    majigurl wrote: »
    Yeah...

    That sounds super unhealthy and stressful for you.

    I'm guessing something has happened in you past to make you react this way? You may need to look at counseling if it is this disruptive to your life. which is must be if you are feeling the effects so badly you are posting about it.

    It's not normal to feel that stressed out.

    I have super low self esteem and I'm so scared that any guy I find to be amazing is going to find someone better. It is very stressful...
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,623 Member
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    CircumcisedCokeCan wrote: »
    try punching below your weight a little bit? find a dude who's below you in social standing, looks, etc...he'll be happy to have you then and prob won't have many other options? bonus points if he wears a fedora.

    thoughts on this issue @Non_Stop ?

    Practical af! Good advice!
  • majigurl
    majigurl Posts: 660 Member
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    Francine_rivas wrote: »
    majigurl wrote: »
    Yeah...

    That sounds super unhealthy and stressful for you.

    I'm guessing something has happened in you past to make you react this way? You may need to look at counseling if it is this disruptive to your life. which is must be if you are feeling the effects so badly you are posting about it.

    It's not normal to feel that stressed out.

    I have super low self esteem and I'm so scared that any guy I find to be amazing is going to find someone better. It is very stressful...
    Francine_rivas wrote: »
    majigurl wrote: »
    Yeah...

    That sounds super unhealthy and stressful for you.

    I'm guessing something has happened in you past to make you react this way? You may need to look at counseling if it is this disruptive to your life. which is must be if you are feeling the effects so badly you are posting about it.

    It's not normal to feel that stressed out.

    I have super low self esteem and I'm so scared that any guy I find to be amazing is going to find someone better. It is very stressful...

    so, this so called amazing guy, can't appreciate what he has and is always looking for better? Imaginary guy sounds like a jerk already.

    If he does find "someone better".. let him walk away..

    You can't be right for everyone. If he is right for you, and you for him, it will just work out. done.

  • madhatter2013
    madhatter2013 Posts: 1,547 Member
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    Love yourself more than them.
  • janellsosajs
    janellsosajs Posts: 57 Member
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    Francine_rivas wrote: »
    majigurl wrote: »
    Get more hobbies. Learn to be clingy to yourself... :wink:

    And.. what type of "clingy" are we talking about? Like, Call every 5 mins, taking his phone when he's preoccupied to see if he has txt other people, keeping clumps of his hair type of clingy?

    I get anxious when they don't text me everyday and I'm always checking my phone and get sad when they don't text and I always am scared they will cheat on me so I want them to hang with me as much as possible and I think about the person way too much.

    Just curious are you a Cancer?
  • Francine_rivas
    Francine_rivas Posts: 77 Member
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    janellsosajs wrote: »
    Francine_rivas wrote: »
    majigurl wrote: »
    Get more hobbies. Learn to be clingy to yourself... :wink:

    And.. what type of "clingy" are we talking about? Like, Call every 5 mins, taking his phone when he's preoccupied to see if he has txt other people, keeping clumps of his hair type of clingy?

    I get anxious when they don't text me everyday and I'm always checking my phone and get sad when they don't text and I always am scared they will cheat on me so I want them to hang with me as much as possible and I think about the person way too much.

    Just curious are you a Cancer?

    I'm a Taurus.
  • Francine_rivas
    Francine_rivas Posts: 77 Member
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    madhatter2013 wrote: »
    Love yourself more than them.

    How do you love yourself when you feel so terrible about yourself?
  • majigurl
    majigurl Posts: 660 Member
    edited March 2016
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    Francine_rivas wrote: »
    madhatter2013 wrote: »
    Love yourself more than them.

    How do you love yourself when you feel so terrible about yourself?

    I'm a Taurus also :)

    Well, if you feel so terrible about yourself.. you REALLLY shouldn't be dating. Not yet. Seek help to help with the anxiety and emotional issues you are currently dealing with. The sooner you can find help, the sooner you can be open for a relationship.

    I'm very big on the idea that if you need someone in your life, you shouldn't be with them. I you should "want" them in your life.. but if they are not there or not, you know you can be great all on your own.

    You HAVE to be ok with being alone before others will want to be with you.


  • Soccermavrick
    Soccermavrick Posts: 405 Member
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    Until you love yourself, and value yourself, no one else will.

    If you love yourself, and find things that interest you, then you will probably find that you have less time to obsess over them. In addition, you will start to find that you have value. And when you have value, others see that too and appreciate it. (Yes some guys and gals are a**holes, but not everyone.)
  • janellsosajs
    janellsosajs Posts: 57 Member
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    Francine_rivas wrote: »
    madhatter2013 wrote: »
    Love yourself more than them.

    How do you love yourself when you feel so terrible about yourself?

    Narrow down what you don't like about yourself and change it. I'm not sure how long you've been in and out of relationships but it sounds like you need to "find" yourself (I don't mean that in a bad way). But take some time to learn to love you. Remember this: you came in this world alone and you will leave this world alone. You don't need someone else's validation to prove you are worth something.
  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,219 Member
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    You are an amazing human being, the only one of you that is ever going to exist in the whole of the universe through all of time...there's nothing terrible in that, just be you!
  • FellyFabulous
    FellyFabulous Posts: 32 Member
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    madhatter2013 wrote: »
    Love yourself more than them.

    ^^^ This times infinity.

    I've been where you're at and trust me, it gets you no where. Don't put any guy on a pedestal unless they are your husband, and even though, You still have to put yourself first. You'll be happier and more secure, trust...
  • trjjoy
    trjjoy Posts: 666 Member
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    Very few people love themselves. I wouldn't wait until I love myself before I start dating. Get some hobbies. Work out. Do stuff. And perhaps the guy you're with/is crushing on isn't the one for you. The right guy would want to contact you frequently, especially in the beginning.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    edited March 2016
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    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10345807/going-to-ask-this-lady-out/p1

    You're welcome.

    Also, I expect an invite to the wedding.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    realize that you are your own human being who is worth spending time with and enjoying your own things... they aren't the center of your world.

    Space. hobbies. self esteem... all the things.

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