Why is it ....

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  • Erik8484
    Erik8484 Posts: 458 Member
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    I just realised its incredibly ironic that the OP just posted a thread about how she wants support not someone telling her what to do, and we've all just told her what to do :D
  • Packerjohn
    Packerjohn Posts: 4,855 Member
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    ilex70 wrote: »
    Machka9 wrote: »
    Packerjohn wrote: »
    Machka9 wrote: »
    faithsstaircase wrote: »
    I don't understand why support is such a confusing term for so many people. When I thinking about giving support, it means encouragement, and being present and available. Am I crazy?

    Not specific enough.

    What does "present and available" mean ... does that mean that they have to be there, right by your side all the time?

    It's a male/female difference. Men want to solve the problem, women want to talk about it. Lots of stuff in the literature about it. Here's an example.

    http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/13967/1/Problem-Solving--Differences-Between-Men-and-Women.html

    I'm a woman ... and I tend to be more "male" when it comes to this sort of thing. My husband will come home with a problem he just wants to talk about, and I'm busy putting up practical solutions.

    The vagueness of "being present" or "not putting up roadblocks" and stuff like that just doesn't work for me. :) It doesn't mean anything to me.


    Agree, not so much male/female as Thinking vs. Feeling. Another woman who falls under Thinking.

    OP good plan to be more specific.

    Agree.

    Didn't set out to be sexist, have just always seen it written up as more of a male thing to be problem solver.
  • lynn_glenmont
    lynn_glenmont Posts: 10,023 Member
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    faithsstaircase wrote: »
    I don't understand why support is such a confusing term for so many people. When I thinking about giving support, it means encouragement, and being present and available. Am I crazy?

    Not crazy -- but not necessarily in step with everybody else. There are lots of threads on here complaining about SOs who don't "support" the OP, and that often means the SO isn't eating the same foods that the OP thinks are the right foods, but sometimes it means the SO urges the OP to eat all the foods all the time, and sometimes it means the SO refuses to empty the house of any food the OP doesn't want to be tempted to eat. Sometimes it means the SO resents the OP's decision to spend three hours a day at the gym, and other times it means the SO resents one hour at the gym three or four times a week. So I don't think you can assume support means the same thing to all people in all circumstances.
  • size102b
    size102b Posts: 1,370 Member
    edited March 2016
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    I get support only from my mfp told my husband I've lost 11lbs in 6 weeks I had no reply
    On week 2 I had a handful of fries 10 he said I thought you were counting calories I said I'm am
    So now I won't mention it again
    Support yourself it's a lot harder but people don't really care or aren't that interested tbh unless they're doing this too

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