Jelious
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All men look at other women.0
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It could be personal projection. If you aren't happy with some aspect of yourself or you let your eyes wander it's more likely that you will fear that your partner is looking elsewhere. All people look at others. If you have a happy and fulfilling relationship there's no need to be jealous.0
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very well said0
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I just don't know how to stop..I really don't want to be the jelious girlfriend0
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To add to what I said:
There were two times in life when I experienced irrational jealousy. The first was when I hated how I looked and the second was when my husband (now ex) did very suspicious things and was distant in the relationship. The first one I fixed by learning to love myself and making myself a priority. The second one was fixed when I found out he was cheating and ended the relationship.
If he's not doing other things that make you suspicious then maybe it's time for personal reflection.0 -
how unlucky he must feel now0
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No he's an amazing boyfriend soon to be my husband...thank you0
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how unlucky he must feel now
I don't think he thinks about it. I did start out the weight loss thing to make him jealous, but success comes best when you are in it for yourself.
@kpom72 What do you do for yourself? How do you focus on self improvement? Not necessarily fitness/weight loss/health related self improvement. Could be a hobby or work related pursuits.0 -
I surround myself with good solid people which helps me stay grounded.0
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Its a matter of trust. If you don't truly trust him to be faithful, or trust that he truly loves you, jealousy will run rampant. Whether its sub conscious or not.
Often times a person who allow themselves to look at eye candy or lust after someone else will be jealous and paranoid that their partner will also do it.
Address these issues and be sure to resolve them before marriage, or your marriage will struggle.0 -
I do trust him. I know he is with me and only me but it is still hurtful especially since I've gained 40 pounds in the last year0
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Then you need to talk to him about it. Don't go into a marriage with unresolved issues. Talk it out, express your concerns and hurts without accusing or blaming him. He probably has no idea what's going on. Most men don't!0
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Thanks0
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Is he looking discreetly? Or is he blatant about ogling other women when you are with him? If it's the latter, he is showing you total disrespect and you need to talk that through with him.0
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No. But he also hasn't been in a relationship for 15 years so he is still learning how to be in one0
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arditarose wrote: »All men look at other women.
Don't be silly...all women look at other men...and..other women. ......0 -
He is the only man I care to look at..I guess I'm not like other women0
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It's male nature. Men are easily attracted by visual stimulation. What matters is that your the one who has him0
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is the root of the problem is that you are scared he will leave you for another women?
Figure out WHY you feel this way. If you are afraid he will leave you because he is "looking" you need to address that. Or whatever other reason ...
Jealousy is a strong feeling and can turn into other ugly emotions and behaviours.
The GOOD thing is you get you are being irrational.
Which means you can have open honest conversation and figure out how you can fix it.
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once you realize being jealous is a complete waste of time, at best and, at worst, something that will drive him away - then you may be able to let it go.
i mean, being jealous give you nothing but bad feelings and anxiety, and makes him feel (if he is aware of it) like he constantly being scrutinized. and if he's not aware of it, it makes you resent him. you need to know that if someone is going to cheat on you, they are going to cheat on (or leave) regardless of what you do. you are not in control of his behavior.
I don't agree with the poster who said it is blatant disrespect. some people have relationships where both parties freely talk about who they think is hot. some people don't. It's about the dynamic of the relationship. talk to him about that too.0 -
Thank you all for the great advice. .it's not that I think he would cheat on me it just makes me feel ugly and undesirable0
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He won't stop looking until he is either blind or dead. So you have to find a way to deal with it. Realize that he is choosing to be with you. Understand that just because he looks, it doesn't mean that he finds you lacking and it doesn't change how he feels about you.0
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how does he treat you? does he tell you you are pretty? do you guys have an active sex life? does he do things for you? does he help out? or does he just sit around and ogle other women?0
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He tells me everyday I'm beautiful. And he is amazing to me and we have a great sex life0
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That isnt healthy. Most ppl want their partner to be a little jealous...but not when it comes to far fetched thing like movies stars. Its ok to have a celebrity crush. Also if you like this guy don't drive him away by worrying about every woman. Guys dig a girl that has confidence
And besides your beautiful you have no reason to be jealous 0 -
As a guy, I just want to say that 99.99999999% of the time that we look at other girls, it's purely an instinctual reaction. I may look at other girls occasionally, but I go to sleep next to the same girl I've been with for 7 years every single night, and I wouldn't ever have it any other way.0
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Thank you..I just keep most of it to myself0
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He tells me everyday I'm beautiful. And he is amazing to me and we have a great sex life
Then the problem is how you feel about you. There's nothing else he can do. You need to figure out how to be happy in your own skin. You mentioned weight gain and for many people that is a huge factor to causing insecurity and then jealousy.0 -
He tells me everyday I'm beautiful. And he is amazing to me and we have a great sex life
Then the problem is how you feel about you. There's nothing else he can do. You need to figure out how to be happy in your own skin. You mentioned weight gain and for many people that is a huge factor to causing insecurity and then jealousy.
Ya, @kpom72 as you start working to lose that 40 pounds you gained recently you may start to feel better about yourself, and be less insecure.0
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