Jelious

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2

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  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,780 Member
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    once you realize being jealous is a complete waste of time, at best and, at worst, something that will drive him away - then you may be able to let it go.

    i mean, being jealous give you nothing but bad feelings and anxiety, and makes him feel (if he is aware of it) like he constantly being scrutinized. and if he's not aware of it, it makes you resent him. you need to know that if someone is going to cheat on you, they are going to cheat on (or leave) regardless of what you do. you are not in control of his behavior.

    I don't agree with the poster who said it is blatant disrespect. some people have relationships where both parties freely talk about who they think is hot. some people don't. It's about the dynamic of the relationship. talk to him about that too.
  • kpom72
    kpom72 Posts: 17 Member
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    Thank you all for the great advice. .it's not that I think he would cheat on me it just makes me feel ugly and undesirable
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    He won't stop looking until he is either blind or dead. So you have to find a way to deal with it. Realize that he is choosing to be with you. Understand that just because he looks, it doesn't mean that he finds you lacking and it doesn't change how he feels about you.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,780 Member
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    how does he treat you? does he tell you you are pretty? do you guys have an active sex life? does he do things for you? does he help out? or does he just sit around and ogle other women?
  • kpom72
    kpom72 Posts: 17 Member
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    He tells me everyday I'm beautiful. And he is amazing to me and we have a great sex life
  • tayter_tot7
    tayter_tot7 Posts: 220 Member
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    That isnt healthy. Most ppl want their partner to be a little jealous...but not when it comes to far fetched thing like movies stars. Its ok to have a celebrity crush. Also if you like this guy don't drive him away by worrying about every woman. Guys dig a girl that has confidence :) And besides your beautiful you have no reason to be jealous
  • OneHundredToLose
    OneHundredToLose Posts: 8,534 Member
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    As a guy, I just want to say that 99.99999999% of the time that we look at other girls, it's purely an instinctual reaction. I may look at other girls occasionally, but I go to sleep next to the same girl I've been with for 7 years every single night, and I wouldn't ever have it any other way.
  • kpom72
    kpom72 Posts: 17 Member
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    Thank you..I just keep most of it to myself
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,220 Member
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    kpom72 wrote: »
    He tells me everyday I'm beautiful. And he is amazing to me and we have a great sex life

    Then the problem is how you feel about you. There's nothing else he can do. You need to figure out how to be happy in your own skin. You mentioned weight gain and for many people that is a huge factor to causing insecurity and then jealousy.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,915 Member
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    usmcmp wrote: »
    kpom72 wrote: »
    He tells me everyday I'm beautiful. And he is amazing to me and we have a great sex life

    Then the problem is how you feel about you. There's nothing else he can do. You need to figure out how to be happy in your own skin. You mentioned weight gain and for many people that is a huge factor to causing insecurity and then jealousy.

    Ya, @kpom72 as you start working to lose that 40 pounds you gained recently you may start to feel better about yourself, and be less insecure.
  • kpom72
    kpom72 Posts: 17 Member
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    Yes I agree..thank y9u
  • kpom72
    kpom72 Posts: 17 Member
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    I spent 23 year in a very abusive relationship and now I'm in a loving healthy relationship and I want to keep it that way
  • DearestWinter
    DearestWinter Posts: 595 Member
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    kpom72 wrote: »
    I spent 23 year in a very abusive relationship and now I'm in a loving healthy relationship and I want to keep it that way

    I'm sorry to hear about your abusive relationship and glad this one is better. As everyone else said, all men (and many women) will look. The good ones do so discreetly but if he's at home watching TV he may not be as careful. Just trust his feelings for you and try not to let it bother you.

    If it's really getting to you and he's truly staring at these women (you're not just interpreting a glance or him following the storyline as him ogling) then have a heart to heart and tell him it's bothering you but you know it's your hangup. Ask him if he can help you out by trying to be a little more discreet with the staring.
  • atjays
    atjays Posts: 798 Member
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    Echoing everyone else on it's natural to look. HOW he goes about it is what we're more concerned with. If he's making comments out loud about how hot she is or "look at that rack" sort of stuff that is HIGHLY disrespectful
  • cristalcarrillo7
    cristalcarrillo7 Posts: 97 Member
    edited March 2016
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    atjays wrote: »
    Echoing everyone else on it's natural to look. HOW he goes about it is what we're more concerned with. If he's making comments out loud about how hot she is or "look at that rack" sort of stuff that is HIGHLY disrespectful



    second this
  • kpom72
    kpom72 Posts: 17 Member
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    Thanks..you all have made me feel alot better
  • Pittshkr_
    Pittshkr_ Posts: 99 Member
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  • Original_Sinner
    Original_Sinner Posts: 180 Member
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    23 years in an abusive relationship and you come to the internet on how to handle your new relationship and feelings? You should be in therapy, you seem to recognize that your feelings are irrational (which is not saying they are invalid, just irrational) and not a reflection of his behaviour.

    You are in therapy right?
  • _incogNEATo_
    _incogNEATo_ Posts: 4,543 Member
    edited March 2016
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    Original_Sinner wrote: »
    23 years in an abusive relationship and you come to the internet on how to handle your new relationship and feelings? You should be in therapy, you seem to recognize that your feelings are irrational (which is not saying they are invalid, just irrational) and not a reflection of his behaviour.

    You are in therapy right?

    Why is therapy always the answer?
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    You can look at the menu as long as you're eating at home

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