Jelious

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Replies

  • kpom72
    kpom72 Posts: 17 Member
    Yes I agree..thank y9u
  • kpom72
    kpom72 Posts: 17 Member
    I spent 23 year in a very abusive relationship and now I'm in a loving healthy relationship and I want to keep it that way
  • DearestWinter
    DearestWinter Posts: 595 Member
    kpom72 wrote: »
    I spent 23 year in a very abusive relationship and now I'm in a loving healthy relationship and I want to keep it that way

    I'm sorry to hear about your abusive relationship and glad this one is better. As everyone else said, all men (and many women) will look. The good ones do so discreetly but if he's at home watching TV he may not be as careful. Just trust his feelings for you and try not to let it bother you.

    If it's really getting to you and he's truly staring at these women (you're not just interpreting a glance or him following the storyline as him ogling) then have a heart to heart and tell him it's bothering you but you know it's your hangup. Ask him if he can help you out by trying to be a little more discreet with the staring.
  • atjays
    atjays Posts: 797 Member
    Echoing everyone else on it's natural to look. HOW he goes about it is what we're more concerned with. If he's making comments out loud about how hot she is or "look at that rack" sort of stuff that is HIGHLY disrespectful
  • cristalcarrillo7
    cristalcarrillo7 Posts: 97 Member
    edited March 2016
    atjays wrote: »
    Echoing everyone else on it's natural to look. HOW he goes about it is what we're more concerned with. If he's making comments out loud about how hot she is or "look at that rack" sort of stuff that is HIGHLY disrespectful



    second this
  • kpom72
    kpom72 Posts: 17 Member
    Thanks..you all have made me feel alot better
  • Pittshkr_
    Pittshkr_ Posts: 99 Member
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  • Original_Sinner
    Original_Sinner Posts: 180 Member
    23 years in an abusive relationship and you come to the internet on how to handle your new relationship and feelings? You should be in therapy, you seem to recognize that your feelings are irrational (which is not saying they are invalid, just irrational) and not a reflection of his behaviour.

    You are in therapy right?
  • _incogNEATo_
    _incogNEATo_ Posts: 4,537 Member
    edited March 2016
    Original_Sinner wrote: »
    23 years in an abusive relationship and you come to the internet on how to handle your new relationship and feelings? You should be in therapy, you seem to recognize that your feelings are irrational (which is not saying they are invalid, just irrational) and not a reflection of his behaviour.

    You are in therapy right?

    Why is therapy always the answer?
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    You can look at the menu as long as you're eating at home
  • Original_Sinner
    Original_Sinner Posts: 180 Member
    _incogNEATo_ wrote: »
    Original_Sinner wrote: »
    23 years in an abusive relationship and you come to the internet on how to handle your new relationship and feelings? You should be in therapy, you seem to recognize that your feelings are irrational (which is not saying they are invalid, just irrational) and not a reflection of his behaviour.

    You are in therapy right?

    Why is therapy always the answer?

    Because she's having irrational feelings that as she states, have NO merit on the truth of his behaviour or actions AND she's out of a 23 year VERY ABUSIVE relationship as she states.

    I didn't say it was always the answer, but in this case with what looks like behaviours of her past relationship potentially affecting her current ability to process her existent relationship, therapy may not be a bad choice.

    That's all.

  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    Original_Sinner wrote: »
    _incogNEATo_ wrote: »
    Original_Sinner wrote: »
    23 years in an abusive relationship and you come to the internet on how to handle your new relationship and feelings? You should be in therapy, you seem to recognize that your feelings are irrational (which is not saying they are invalid, just irrational) and not a reflection of his behaviour.

    You are in therapy right?

    Why is therapy always the answer?

    Because she's having irrational feelings that as she states, have NO merit on the truth of his behaviour or actions AND she's out of a 23 year VERY ABUSIVE relationship as she states.

    I didn't say it was always the answer, but in this case with what looks like behaviours of her past relationship potentially affecting her current ability to process her existent relationship, therapy may not be a bad choice.

    That's all.

    I found therapy useful after a few years of an emotionally abusive relationship. I would consider it essential after a "23 year VERY ABUSIVE relationship."
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