Do you ever get disappointed if goals aren't met?

kayleexbabeex

Just wondered how you react if your goals aren't met or when you haven't lost any or much weight after changes you have made to diet &I exercise. Iv put 2lbs on and feel so disappointed in myself do you put more pressure on yourself or do you just get back up again and keep at what your doing? X

malibu927

I gained two pounds my first two weeks and it definitely demotivated me. But I wasn't on MFP yet (joined at the end of the third week) and quickly learned about weight fluctuations and accuracy in logging. So now I just take the gains as they come.

mwood1234

Yes, I was disappointed that I gave into chocolate this weekend and went over my calorie goal both Sat and Sun. This week I'm determined to stay on track. Was up 2 lbs. from bloat etc. I figured I was because I felt it. It's also my female thing.... I'm keeping positive today tho. I can't let the blues sink in too deep.

zombiemomjo

It's easy to just throw in the towel at disappointment. I've been annoyed enough that I just eat whatever the heck I want for a few days/weeks, but then I get right back at it. I know it works. I KNOW IT! Deep in my bones, I know what I have to do to be successful. If it wasn't working, what can I tweak? More water? Less carbs? More protein? What can I try for the next round to better my chances? I've given up too many times. Trust me, it's worth it to keep at it. But analyze and see what you can tweak. Were you really accurate with your calorie tracking? Did you eat too many frozen meals with tons of sodium? What could you tweak?

lthames0810

It depends on what type of goals I have.

I don't do well with outcome goals such a "lose a pound this week". Losing less than a pound is failure. Failure stinks. I get discouraged even though I know it's not always possible to lose at the expected rate.

Process goals, such as "eat a vegetable most days this week" work better for me. It's entirely within my power to do these things.

callsitlikeiseeit

no.

BreefitnessBreef88

I find it very discouraging to not meet weightloss goals. In my case I've gained since my last weigh in. I was 227 3 weeks ago before I started mfp. I was 217 a week ish ago when I started mfp. I joined a challenge to lose 50 lbs by Aug 31. I was stuck at 217 for my first weight in. And in the past 3 days the scale says I've gone up 4 pounds! Mind you I was so discouraged that I wasn't going down so I didn't workout the Fri sat or sun. And I cheated really bad those 3 days. Eating subway and dq. I was doing so good too before that. I had only taken 3 rest days in 3 weeks of working out. Now I just have to tell myself that today is a new day and start again! I did work out for about 55 min today even though I didn't have much energy. I made myself. I just want the scale to go down.

lithezebra

No. I tend to set unrealistic goals anyway. I feel good, and that's good enough for me.

Unless you were actually overeating, you shouldn't worry about two pounds. That is well within normal weight fluctuation due to hydration, TOM, etc.

jemhh

I get annoyed and disappointed but then I have to move on. I did a lot of stress eating this weekend and I'm upset with myself about it but what can I do other than get back to normal today.

zyxst

Yes. I reached my GW of 140, then promptly put on 2.5# because of my ToM. Now I'm eating at at minuscule deficit (-50 cals a day) in order to not go back above 140 due to ToM gain. Kinda lol'sy.

ETA: I did get disappointed when I didn't make my 100# lost my first year (got to 92). I also get disappointed at myself for not losing as fast and as much as other people.

BreefitnessBreef88

What is Tom?

emmaprocopiou

briannabell88 wrote: »

What is Tom?

Time of the Month

It's really hard not to be disappointed when the scale goes up, but it can be due to many reasons, one of which is putting on weight. Just this past week ive gone up by 3lbs but by today, weigh in day , I was 4lbs down . By weighing everyday I am able to see the trends spot the times I go up and recognise why and I actually lost 2lbs this week next week it might only be 0.5 of a pound but eventually it evens out.
Don't be hard on yourself , just keep doing what your doing , logging accurately as possible and keeping to your deficit.

lorrpb

I could not survive on scale goals only. The key for me is to have multiple goals--weight, measurements, appearance, new recipes, and various fitness goals--walking, plank time, weights, etc. Something is always going well so I focus on that. Although I have time frames in my mind, I stay flexible with them. I have very little control over how FAST something happens. Sometimes sooner, other times later, it just depends on what my body wants to do. If your goals are discouraging you, it might be time to reevaluate and set achievable goals. With a variety of metrics.

carliekitty

I use to. I've reached so many goals now that I realize times my best friend. If I am accurate and weigh and measure everything I know I'm loosing weight no matter what the scale might say. Progress is sometimes not visible due to sodium, muscle soreness, bowel movements, etc etc...if your accurately logging and measuring you KNOW your loosing weight so don't weigh yourself but once a week or in my case once a month. Who needs Thier moods dictated by a # on a scale!!!!

lemurcat12

lthames0810 wrote: »

It depends on what type of goals I have.

I don't do well with outcome goals such a "lose a pound this week". Losing less than a pound is failure. Failure stinks. I get discouraged even though I know it's not always possible to lose at the expected rate.

Process goals, such as "eat a vegetable most days this week" work better for me. It's entirely within my power to do these things.

Same with me. I do set outcome goals, but somehow I know in the back of my mind that they are inspirational and never get bothered if I miss them, so long as I've made progress. I tend to take process goals much more seriously, as well as achievements I have more control over, like run a half marathon or bike 50 miles.

MonkeyMel21

I hate disappointment so I don't really set goals. I do have a target weight that I like to maintain and that's easy enough. But setting fitness goals in the past has mostly led to injury or sickness related failure and again, with me hating disappointment, I have stopped setting them and just go along with what I enjoy. Pushing myself when I feel I'm up for it.

samwiserabbit

I get really, really, really discouraged when goals/expectations aren't met. I can't even play the lottery because I get pissed (like, crazily, unreasonably angry) when I don't win. That's why I make my goals (a) achievable and (b) 100% (or near enough) within my power to achieve. My goal right now is about my log-in "streak" on MFP.

I'm also eating at a medium-sized deficit and working out more, but those are less goals and more daily choices. If I don't do them one day, whatevs, but I usually do because it's what I want to do that day, for the sake of my today self and my future self.

SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage

Yes I get disappointed. What's the point of setting goals if there's not a consequence to failure? If I miss a goal, I chalk it up to a learning experience, adjust my approach, and make another run at it.

Afura

I get depressed enough to the point that emotional eating wants to kick in. I have to give myself a pep talk about it just being 1 thing in life, not the end of the world. If needed, I'll get out of the house and do something like go for a walk, or just take a drive, get some gas, something to get me out and about to kick the funk.
I also stopped making timeframe goals. All my goals are now about when I meet a weight loss point, rather than "by June I want to loose 10 pounds", and that helps. I'll still join the motivation groups on challenges like that, but it's more of the social aspect.

TasnimEz

I was. So I decided to not have specific goals anymore. I strength train, eat and enjoy the process. Trying to ditch the scale completely too. I guess that's a goal.

cross2bear

I try not to have unrealistic expectations - if I lose ANY weight when I get checked, then of course, I am happy. If I dont, then I tell myself well - you didnt gain any. If I happen to gain 2 pounds, I would tell myself well - you didnt gain 5 pounds! Body image is a lot more than just what the scale tells me, so I have other markers that are meaningful for me, like clothing, activity level, pain response (bad knees) etc. If I believe (and I do) that maintaining a healthy lifestyle and managing my weight is going to be a lifetime thing, then I have to keep my eyes on the bigger picture.

bmayes2014

I get disappointed because there is no one else to blame but myself, but I know that I am only human and what other choice do I have?? keep failing and gaining weight??? I don't think so. I have no choice but to 'reset' and re-evaluate. Create a new game plan and decide what I will do differently this time around. Then I think of all the progress I have made and that also helps as well. To err is human. I try not to be too hard on myself. I am committed but I am not perfect.

sanfromny

Nope, I'm finally at a happy place so I'm not having mini heart-attacks about not meeting a 'goal' because I will eventually get there even if it's not the exact day that I had planned on. At the end of the day if I can see progress, if I am in a better place than I was last month, even 2lbs less than last month that is a win!! 2lbs less every month means you'd be 24lbs less in a year..How awesome is that?

shadowfax_c11

Not dissapointed no. This is a process of learning to handle food and eating in a healthier way. I am learning a new skill and when learning new skills you are going to have many failures. Adults tend to forget that learning something new is not a case of just start doing it and everything goes perfectly the first time. Take a lesson from kids. They fall down and then they try again.

Anyway yes I do at times get frustrated. But I just keep going anyway. Eventually I get one more step in the right direction.

Also I don't put time limits on my goals. It will take as long as it takes. And since I intend to keep going for as long as it takes I am bound to be successful.... eventually. Which is a lot better than the alternatives.

1)Try fail week one, Stop trying. Stay fat.

2)Try. Fail (have a binge) after a few weeks. Get depressed, eat because I am depressed about being fat. get fatter.

3)Try. Be obsessive and do some kind of wild fad diet for two weeks. Have success. Learn nothing. Go back to old habits. Get fat again. Maybe fatter.

4)Try really hard. Restrict everything. Give up all of the bad foods etc. Lose control and binge on the weekends.Learn nothing. FAIL. Become miserable. Get fatter.

6)Try, Fail.Try again. Have small success. Then fail. Then try some more then have more success. Then fail for a while then try some more. Apear to be failing despite doing everything right. Keep on truckin. Suddenly have success just when you were starting to get discouraged....slow path to the top of that mountain. Slowly get smaller in circumference. YAY!

Which one would you pick?

Machka9

No disappointment.

I actually started here to prove to myself and anyone who cared that I could not lose weight anymore at my age. And in order to do that, I stuck to my diet like glue. I did not want anyone saying, "Yes, but you didn't really give it a good try."

For 10 days I didn't lose a thing, and then it started dropping off.

And I didn't put a time limit on my weight loss ... nor did I have a goal. I still don't.

Ups and downs happen, and that's OK ... but I've lost about 25 kg.

kayleexbabeex

I admitt I did feel really down at first but I suppose it's never going to be plain sailing, their are going to be hiccups along the way. I always worry I won't lose the certain weight I want in a specific amount of time. I don't want to try hard and receive nothing in return. After reading your comments I now know I need to not put so much pressure on myself but at the same time keep at it as its a slow process! Thanks guys! X

SingRunTing

I try not to focus on weight loss being my measurement for success. Obviously, sometimes I get down about it if I'm not losing, but I really do try to not focus on weight.

Instead, I focus on daily goals. I have daily behaviors that I must do in order to be successful. These behaviors will lead to weight loss, but my success is in hitting these goals day after day. My daily goals tend to include things like stay within my calories (obviously logging and weighing food), 12k steps, and whatever my workout is that day. If I hit my goals that day, I'm successful.

I do better with this way of thinking. I like having a sense of control on my life. These are things I can control. I can't control exactly when my body will release the weight, but I can control whether or not I track my food. It's also a cause/effect relationship. I can control the causes (eating, working out), I can't control the effects (weight loss). By focusing on what I can control and measuring success on those terms, I have a lot more peace than measuring solely on what number pops up on the scale.

Hope that makes sense.

wowa4483

I believe disappointment is a very natural response to not meeting your goals. What really matters is how you deal with that disappointment. Do you dwell on it and give up or do you look back on your mistakes and critique them to improve? I like to think of disappointment as the emotion that lights a fire under my behind. I am in the beginning stages of my weight loss journey so disappointment for me comes when I don't stay within my calorie budget or if I go over my recommended grams of carbs or if I don't make the time to log. I just try to count my small victories and use that disappointment to motivate me to do better the next day. I wish you the best of luck! Don't give up!

EvgeniZyntx

What's the purpose of goals?

I use them to identify intent and desire. Sometimes they are achievable and an echo of my commitment. I have a goal of running 120 km this month. It is probably realistic and I will hopefully reach it. But it is work and setting it up, I reoogninize that I may miss it. If I miss it due to injury or illness - well, not such a big deal. I'll push it to the next month. If I miss it because I forgot about it and other things got "in the way" then it's a useful tool to be mindful about what I consider important in my life right now. Being fit enough to do certain things scores high, so hitting those numbers remains important, but not overwhelming.

Goals aren't meant to be held onto so hard that you squeeze the life out of them.
Hold them lightly.

Some goals that I have are fully aspirational. I recognise them as such and do not hold myself to them (or even vocalised them much).

Keep goals short term, realistic, achievable and awardable. You'll be happier with them and yourself. Try to have goals that are linked to what you consider to be your own values - if it is being healthier - how do you think x will be healthier (rather than a number on the scale). They should be aligned with whatever drives and motivates you - the term is internally concordant goals.

Read this, it's old not a flashy slide about goals - but a fascinating study on how goals can be effective positive force:

http://web.missouri.edu/~sheldonk/pdfarticles/JPSP99.pdf

barbwatson1

I just returned from a weigh-in with my trainer and have not lost weight in the past two months. I joined the gym and hired a trainer at beginning of Jan. I have accomplished so much in the gym re strength and flexibility but am disappointed with lack of weight loss. I use MFP and have been following his direction re nutrition. We are trying to think of things that could be interfering with weight loss. Going for a physical to check things out as well. Am adding walking to off days at gym. Can anyone offer any suggestions to help me out?

ClosetBayesian

barbwatson1 wrote: »

I just returned from a weigh-in with my trainer and have not lost weight in the past two months. I joined the gym and hired a trainer at beginning of Jan. I have accomplished so much in the gym re strength and flexibility but am disappointed with lack of weight loss. I use MFP and have been following his direction re nutrition. We are trying to think of things that could be interfering with weight loss. Going for a physical to check things out as well. Am adding walking to off days at gym. Can anyone offer any suggestions to help me out?

Are you weighing what you eat, in grams, and logging that, every day?