Do you ever get disappointed if goals aren't met?

bmayes2014

I get disappointed because there is no one else to blame but myself, but I know that I am only human and what other choice do I have?? keep failing and gaining weight??? I don't think so. I have no choice but to 'reset' and re-evaluate. Create a new game plan and decide what I will do differently this time around. Then I think of all the progress I have made and that also helps as well. To err is human. I try not to be too hard on myself. I am committed but I am not perfect.

sanfromny

Nope, I'm finally at a happy place so I'm not having mini heart-attacks about not meeting a 'goal' because I will eventually get there even if it's not the exact day that I had planned on. At the end of the day if I can see progress, if I am in a better place than I was last month, even 2lbs less than last month that is a win!! 2lbs less every month means you'd be 24lbs less in a year..How awesome is that?

shadowfax_c11

Not dissapointed no. This is a process of learning to handle food and eating in a healthier way. I am learning a new skill and when learning new skills you are going to have many failures. Adults tend to forget that learning something new is not a case of just start doing it and everything goes perfectly the first time. Take a lesson from kids. They fall down and then they try again.

Anyway yes I do at times get frustrated. But I just keep going anyway. Eventually I get one more step in the right direction.

Also I don't put time limits on my goals. It will take as long as it takes. And since I intend to keep going for as long as it takes I am bound to be successful.... eventually. Which is a lot better than the alternatives.

1)Try fail week one, Stop trying. Stay fat.

2)Try. Fail (have a binge) after a few weeks. Get depressed, eat because I am depressed about being fat. get fatter.

3)Try. Be obsessive and do some kind of wild fad diet for two weeks. Have success. Learn nothing. Go back to old habits. Get fat again. Maybe fatter.

4)Try really hard. Restrict everything. Give up all of the bad foods etc. Lose control and binge on the weekends.Learn nothing. FAIL. Become miserable. Get fatter.

6)Try, Fail.Try again. Have small success. Then fail. Then try some more then have more success. Then fail for a while then try some more. Apear to be failing despite doing everything right. Keep on truckin. Suddenly have success just when you were starting to get discouraged....slow path to the top of that mountain. Slowly get smaller in circumference. YAY!

Which one would you pick?

Machka9

No disappointment.

I actually started here to prove to myself and anyone who cared that I could not lose weight anymore at my age. And in order to do that, I stuck to my diet like glue. I did not want anyone saying, "Yes, but you didn't really give it a good try."

For 10 days I didn't lose a thing, and then it started dropping off.

And I didn't put a time limit on my weight loss ... nor did I have a goal. I still don't.

Ups and downs happen, and that's OK ... but I've lost about 25 kg.

kayleexbabeex

I admitt I did feel really down at first but I suppose it's never going to be plain sailing, their are going to be hiccups along the way. I always worry I won't lose the certain weight I want in a specific amount of time. I don't want to try hard and receive nothing in return. After reading your comments I now know I need to not put so much pressure on myself but at the same time keep at it as its a slow process! Thanks guys! X

SingRunTing

I try not to focus on weight loss being my measurement for success. Obviously, sometimes I get down about it if I'm not losing, but I really do try to not focus on weight.

Instead, I focus on daily goals. I have daily behaviors that I must do in order to be successful. These behaviors will lead to weight loss, but my success is in hitting these goals day after day. My daily goals tend to include things like stay within my calories (obviously logging and weighing food), 12k steps, and whatever my workout is that day. If I hit my goals that day, I'm successful.

I do better with this way of thinking. I like having a sense of control on my life. These are things I can control. I can't control exactly when my body will release the weight, but I can control whether or not I track my food. It's also a cause/effect relationship. I can control the causes (eating, working out), I can't control the effects (weight loss). By focusing on what I can control and measuring success on those terms, I have a lot more peace than measuring solely on what number pops up on the scale.

Hope that makes sense.

wowa4483

I believe disappointment is a very natural response to not meeting your goals. What really matters is how you deal with that disappointment. Do you dwell on it and give up or do you look back on your mistakes and critique them to improve? I like to think of disappointment as the emotion that lights a fire under my behind. I am in the beginning stages of my weight loss journey so disappointment for me comes when I don't stay within my calorie budget or if I go over my recommended grams of carbs or if I don't make the time to log. I just try to count my small victories and use that disappointment to motivate me to do better the next day. I wish you the best of luck! Don't give up!

EvgeniZyntx

What's the purpose of goals?

I use them to identify intent and desire. Sometimes they are achievable and an echo of my commitment. I have a goal of running 120 km this month. It is probably realistic and I will hopefully reach it. But it is work and setting it up, I reoogninize that I may miss it. If I miss it due to injury or illness - well, not such a big deal. I'll push it to the next month. If I miss it because I forgot about it and other things got "in the way" then it's a useful tool to be mindful about what I consider important in my life right now. Being fit enough to do certain things scores high, so hitting those numbers remains important, but not overwhelming.

Goals aren't meant to be held onto so hard that you squeeze the life out of them.
Hold them lightly.

Some goals that I have are fully aspirational. I recognise them as such and do not hold myself to them (or even vocalised them much).

Keep goals short term, realistic, achievable and awardable. You'll be happier with them and yourself. Try to have goals that are linked to what you consider to be your own values - if it is being healthier - how do you think x will be healthier (rather than a number on the scale). They should be aligned with whatever drives and motivates you - the term is internally concordant goals.

Read this, it's old not a flashy slide about goals - but a fascinating study on how goals can be effective positive force:

http://web.missouri.edu/~sheldonk/pdfarticles/JPSP99.pdf

barbwatson1

I just returned from a weigh-in with my trainer and have not lost weight in the past two months. I joined the gym and hired a trainer at beginning of Jan. I have accomplished so much in the gym re strength and flexibility but am disappointed with lack of weight loss. I use MFP and have been following his direction re nutrition. We are trying to think of things that could be interfering with weight loss. Going for a physical to check things out as well. Am adding walking to off days at gym. Can anyone offer any suggestions to help me out?

ClosetBayesian

barbwatson1 wrote: »

I just returned from a weigh-in with my trainer and have not lost weight in the past two months. I joined the gym and hired a trainer at beginning of Jan. I have accomplished so much in the gym re strength and flexibility but am disappointed with lack of weight loss. I use MFP and have been following his direction re nutrition. We are trying to think of things that could be interfering with weight loss. Going for a physical to check things out as well. Am adding walking to off days at gym. Can anyone offer any suggestions to help me out?

Are you weighing what you eat, in grams, and logging that, every day?

gramarye

Yes, absolutely. I think disappointment, discouragement, frustration -- there are all normal stops in the peaks and valleys of setting any goal. Either it's not like you thought it was, or you didn't get where you wanted to go, etc. It's okay to feel them, so long as you can then work with and around them, rather than stop there.

Like, it sucks when I can sit there at the end of the month, look at my failed goal, and see the exact reasons I didn't meet them. For instance, I have writing goals, and in February I didn't even come close to meeting them. I was bummed out, because it's not as though I was super busy. I just didn't do it. That sucks, self.

Then I said, "Okay, so here's March. Let's do better."

The same for weight loss. Feel disappointment, evaluate why you feel that way, and then look for the next step in meeting your goal. Action almost always makes you feel better.