I am tired of being fat
WalkingQueen1979
Posts: 119 Member
Hi there my name is Ronda and I'm in my late 30s and I have been yoyo dieting most of my life. My highest was 240 my smallest 110 in high school. I am currently 220 and want to be 150-170. I need some motivation to keep me going. I'm trying this again and don't want to fail anymore.
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Replies
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If you're REALLY tired of being fat, you shouldn't need someone to motivate. A person who's truly fed up will do what it takes, whether they have support or not, whether they run in to setbacks or obstacles, when chaos tries to derail them, etc.
So are you committed or are you just desiring? Because there is a difference.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Gurl you arnt the only one im with you im so tired of being fat toi i would sell my soul to the devil to be skinny if i could but you kno you should add me2
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Ronda, it's good to see you here, trying, asking for support. Please don't let folks shame you into any position you're not yet comfortable or ready to take on. Small steps add up and you can get 'there', wherever there is for you. Starting with "desiring" is a start to committing. Go at a pace that makes sense to you, which is not to say to not challenge yourself. Please do challenge yourself, but be kind in the challenge, not shaming.
Best,
ZS3 -
Before you begin your journey, it is important that you decide in your mind that you will succeed. The power of positivity and persistence is strong! Just remember all of those before you who have faced much tougher challenges and overcome them. You can do this! You can achieve anything you fully dedicate yourself to!3
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Shaming? If a person's stance is that they are really sick and tired of a weight issue, how is it shaming them when asking if they really are ready? Many people make half hearted attempts at weight loss only to fail because the attempt is half hearted. They weren't really ready to do it or prepared. This leads to low esteem and lack in self confidence to actually try again. Getting people to seriously sit down and look inside themselves to see if they really are ready isn't shaming, it's really just getting themselves to understand that half hearted efforts aren't that successful versus one where a person is committed to it. If one isn't really committed to it, then it's likely a wasted time and effort to just start over and over again.southbaysonia wrote: »Ronda, it's good to see you here, trying, asking for support. Please don't let folks shame you into any position you're not yet comfortable or ready to take on. Small steps add up and you can get 'there', wherever there is for you. Starting with "desiring" is a start to committing. Go at a pace that makes sense to you, which is not to say to not challenge yourself. Please do challenge yourself, but be kind in the challenge, not shaming.
Best,
ZS
I give her advice from direct experience. Not because it's blunt, but because it's true. When you deal with people who are trying to improve their health and weight for a living, you can't just pacify people by letting hear what they want. You may have to dish out what they NEED to hear. Unfortunately some will view this as harsh, but the likelihood of success while treating it with kid's gloves isn't high. We're adults, not children.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I know you meant tough love but it does help to have support also. My title was my true feelings and I know I will get there it will just take time. I need to not give up no matter how long it takes. I accepted friend requests so far4
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Of course it helps to have support. But it doesn't always last (many leave the site or quit within a couple of months or less) including close friends/relatives.nailpolishqueen79 wrote: »I know you meant tough love but it does help to have support also. My title was my true feelings and I know I will get there it will just take time. I need to not give up no matter how long it takes. I accepted friend requests so far
The point I'm making is that it IS all on you. You have to do all the eating, exercising, discipline, etc. No one else can do that for you and if you're committed, you'll do it. If you have any reservations, then you're likely not. Failure at weight loss happens when lack of commitment and consistency aren't implemented because they are KEY.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Of course it helps to have support. But it doesn't always last (many leave the site or quit within a couple of months or less) including close friends/relatives.nailpolishqueen79 wrote: »I know you meant tough love but it does help to have support also. My title was my true feelings and I know I will get there it will just take time. I need to not give up no matter how long it takes. I accepted friend requests so far
The point I'm making is that it IS all on you. You have to do all the eating, exercising, discipline, etc. No one else can do that for you and if you're committed, you'll do it. If you have any reservations, then you're likely not. Failure at weight loss happens when lack of commitment and consistency aren't implemented because they are KEY.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
@ninerbuff I've been following lots of your posts and I appreciate that you can be blunt. I started this (again) in January, determined this time to succeed. I got a couple friends on board who have since either bailed or not gotten serious. So, yes, it's totally on me. My mind, finally, is in the right place. Down 20 pounds so far and feeling better than I have in years. I'm doing this for me, no one else. I don't feel like I really need support so much as just the knowledge that can be gleaned from others that have been successful.0 -
Niner is just telling it like it is. His experience is legend. So---get up, get moving and just do it! If you can't do that, you're not ready and will just have to wait until you are. We hear from lots of people in this position. Make a commitment and you'll be a success.0
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Of course it helps to have support. But it doesn't always last (many leave the site or quit within a couple of months or less) including close friends/relatives.nailpolishqueen79 wrote: »I know you meant tough love but it does help to have support also. My title was my true feelings and I know I will get there it will just take time. I need to not give up no matter how long it takes. I accepted friend requests so far
The point I'm making is that it IS all on you. You have to do all the eating, exercising, discipline, etc. No one else can do that for you and if you're committed, you'll do it. If you have any reservations, then you're likely not. Failure at weight loss happens when lack of commitment and consistency aren't implemented because they are KEY.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I have to say I agree with this. The motivation and support really does have to be on you. Because there will be times when you are following along with your diet routine and someone will offer you something or pressure you about this new lifestyle, and you have to defend it. Believe me, a lot of people are NOT supportive at all, especially when you start losing the weight. Crabs in a bucket. The willpower is all on you.0 -
Agree. Truly committed people succeed even when failure seems prevalent. When you watch any inspiring movie (Rudy, Rocky, 42 (Jackie Robinson movie), The Rookie) they all fight like hell till they reach their goal even with all the setbacks and obstacles in their face. We all have this in us. Some more than others, but when you learn how to believe in you, you'll be shocked at what you can achieve.Before you begin your journey, it is important that you decide in your mind that you will succeed. The power of positivity and persistence is strong! Just remember all of those before you who have faced much tougher challenges and overcome them. You can do this! You can achieve anything you fully dedicate yourself to!
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
0 -
Of course it helps to have support. But it doesn't always last (many leave the site or quit within a couple of months or less) including close friends/relatives.nailpolishqueen79 wrote: »I know you meant tough love but it does help to have support also. My title was my true feelings and I know I will get there it will just take time. I need to not give up no matter how long it takes. I accepted friend requests so far
The point I'm making is that it IS all on you. You have to do all the eating, exercising, discipline, etc. No one else can do that for you and if you're committed, you'll do it. If you have any reservations, then you're likely not. Failure at weight loss happens when lack of commitment and consistency aren't implemented because they are KEY.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
@ninerbuff I've been following lots of your posts and I appreciate that you can be blunt. I started this (again) in January, determined this time to succeed. I got a couple friends on board who have since either bailed or not gotten serious. So, yes, it's totally on me. My mind, finally, is in the right place. Down 20 pounds so far and feeling better than I have in years. I'm doing this for me, no one else. I don't feel like I really need support so much as just the knowledge that can be gleaned from others that have been successful.
@Rocknut53 hello ! When I read your post ,I remembered when I was new.
When I first started here, I was lost ! I was overwhelmed and didn't know where to begin. I came to the message boards and followed @ninerbuff around. I finally got up the courage to ask him for help.
I messged him and told him I was new and didn't know much yet . he went back and forth with me through messages and explained everything ! He told me all about calories in - calories out and that all I needed to do was eat less then I burned to lose weight ( calorie deficit ) he then set up my calories and the rest was history! I lost all my weight, kept it off for 2+ yrs so far !
He really truly helped me along when nobody else would.
So even though its uncool to be nice to a mod, I have to give him respect because of what he did for me ( and so many others ) I have no problem admitting that he helped me out and taught me all the things I needed to know to get started. I'm not a follower, so I'll give credit to him even though its not the cool thing to do.
Being blunt and not sugar coating things can be a great thing. It really helped me along !
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@nailpolishqueen79 , what I have found on my journey is that ever ytime I said i was tired of being fat and I wanted to change people would say "good for u, you can do it!" or "me too let's do this together" Ok, then what? I would start with people for motivation but if they quit, I did too because honestly it was not fun to be the only one drinking a water at the bar. I failed because people kept telling me it was alright when it wasn't. I failed because I was looking for someone to pat me on the bum every time I had too many slices of pizza and say, oh that's ok when it wasn't. I failed because I was so worried about waiting on someone else that I didn't focus on what I needed to do.
What's the great thing in failure? You try, you fail, you try you fail but You learn from your mistakes. And one day it clicks! Now, I don't need anyone to motivate me to get up, eat right, log on..I do it because I want to and it's great that way. I am my own motivation now and ninerbuff is basically trying to tell you just that. Oh, and as an FYI...if under their name you see MFP moderator or you see they have a quatrillion post, they know a little something!!
Also, like some others said, people here fall off...I was one!! For a long time. I can't tell you how many people I friended this January hasn't logged in for 30+ days. Can't hitch your wagon to their stars...
Bottom Line...
Be your own motivation. Be here because You want this. If you pick up a friend or two along the way that's great but this is Your journey
Everyone here does wish you well and success and that includes me!
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thorsmom01 wrote: »
Of course it helps to have support. But it doesn't always last (many leave the site or quit within a couple of months or less) including close friends/relatives.nailpolishqueen79 wrote: »I know you meant tough love but it does help to have support also. My title was my true feelings and I know I will get there it will just take time. I need to not give up no matter how long it takes. I accepted friend requests so far
The point I'm making is that it IS all on you. You have to do all the eating, exercising, discipline, etc. No one else can do that for you and if you're committed, you'll do it. If you have any reservations, then you're likely not. Failure at weight loss happens when lack of commitment and consistency aren't implemented because they are KEY.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
@ninerbuff I've been following lots of your posts and I appreciate that you can be blunt. I started this (again) in January, determined this time to succeed. I got a couple friends on board who have since either bailed or not gotten serious. So, yes, it's totally on me. My mind, finally, is in the right place. Down 20 pounds so far and feeling better than I have in years. I'm doing this for me, no one else. I don't feel like I really need support so much as just the knowledge that can be gleaned from others that have been successful.
@Rocknut53 hello ! When I read your post ,I remembered when I was new.
When I first started here, I was lost ! I was overwhelmed and didn't know where to begin. I came to the message boards and followed @ninerbuff around. I finally got up the courage to ask him for help.
I messged him and told him I was new and didn't know much yet . he went back and forth with me through messages and explained everything ! He told me all about calories in - calories out and that all I needed to do was eat less then I burned to lose weight ( calorie deficit ) he then set up my calories and the rest was history! I lost all my weight, kept it off for 2+ yrs so far !
He really truly helped me along when nobody else would.
So even though its uncool to be nice to a mod, I have to give him respect because of what he did for me ( and so many others ) I have no problem admitting that he helped me out and taught me all the things I needed to know to get started. I'm not a follower, so I'll give credit to him even though its not the cool thing to do.
Being blunt and not sugar coating things can be a great thing. It really helped me along !
I might add that I was on here 3 years ago, lost 26#, gave it up for whatever reason and gained some back. My purpose now is to have a better understanding of the process of weight loss, deficits, the importance of cardio and strength training in the overall picture and putting this all to use for the future. No more excuses, no more putting the blame on anyone but myself. @thorsmom01 I appreciate your input as well, you don't sugarcoat anything either and that is good.0 -
Thnx for the advice I will do this for me and not rely on others too much it's a habit I need to work on because I've been burned alot in the past. Ty for kind words and yes it's good to be realistic not sugar coat stuff.0
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thorsmom01 wrote: »
Of course it helps to have support. But it doesn't always last (many leave the site or quit within a couple of months or less) including close friends/relatives.nailpolishqueen79 wrote: »I know you meant tough love but it does help to have support also. My title was my true feelings and I know I will get there it will just take time. I need to not give up no matter how long it takes. I accepted friend requests so far
The point I'm making is that it IS all on you. You have to do all the eating, exercising, discipline, etc. No one else can do that for you and if you're committed, you'll do it. If you have any reservations, then you're likely not. Failure at weight loss happens when lack of commitment and consistency aren't implemented because they are KEY.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
@ninerbuff I've been following lots of your posts and I appreciate that you can be blunt. I started this (again) in January, determined this time to succeed. I got a couple friends on board who have since either bailed or not gotten serious. So, yes, it's totally on me. My mind, finally, is in the right place. Down 20 pounds so far and feeling better than I have in years. I'm doing this for me, no one else. I don't feel like I really need support so much as just the knowledge that can be gleaned from others that have been successful.
@Rocknut53 hello ! When I read your post ,I remembered when I was new.
When I first started here, I was lost ! I was overwhelmed and didn't know where to begin. I came to the message boards and followed @ninerbuff around. I finally got up the courage to ask him for help.
I messged him and told him I was new and didn't know much yet . he went back and forth with me through messages and explained everything ! He told me all about calories in - calories out and that all I needed to do was eat less then I burned to lose weight ( calorie deficit ) he then set up my calories and the rest was history! I lost all my weight, kept it off for 2+ yrs so far !
He really truly helped me along when nobody else would.
So even though its uncool to be nice to a mod, I have to give him respect because of what he did for me ( and so many others ) I have no problem admitting that he helped me out and taught me all the things I needed to know to get started. I'm not a follower, so I'll give credit to him even though its not the cool thing to do.
Being blunt and not sugar coating things can be a great thing. It really helped me along !
I might add that I was on here 3 years ago, lost 26#, gave it up for whatever reason and gained some back. My purpose now is to have a better understanding of the process of weight loss, deficits, the importance of cardio and strength training in the overall picture and putting this all to use for the future. No more excuses, no more putting the blame on anyone but myself. @thorsmom01 I appreciate your input as well, you don't sugarcoat anything either and that is good.
I think you'll be fine ! You have the right attitude ! @Rocknut530 -
nailpolishqueen79 wrote: »Hi there my name is Ronda and I'm in my late 30s and I have been yoyo dieting most of my life. My highest was 240 my smallest 110 in high school. I am currently 220 and want to be 150-170. I need some motivation to keep me going. I'm trying this again and don't want to fail anymore.
There's your motivation - right there in the part I highlighted. Motivation is good.
What's better? Consistency. If you decide to go for a walk every day, then you just have to go for a walk every day, whether you feel motivated or not. Motivation doesn't burn calories, moving does. Motivation doesn't lower the amount of calories you consume, not putting extra food in your mouth does. Make realistic goals, and stick to them. Every. Single. Day. Positive results will follow. (And if you have a day or two where you mess up - and you will - just get right back to it, whether you feel like it or not.) You can do it!
As for @ninerbuff, count me in as another fan!1 -
I am just simply tired....1
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nailpolishqueen79 wrote: »Hi there my name is Ronda and I'm in my late 30s and I have been yoyo dieting most of my life. My highest was 240 my smallest 110 in high school. I am currently 220 and want to be 150-170. I need some motivation to keep me going. I'm trying this again and don't want to fail anymore.
@nailpolishqueen79 I too got tired of being fat but it took me twice as long. 40 years of yo yo dieting had left me a physical wreck and sinking fast. It is great you are making changes 30 years younger than I did. After I stopped 'dieting' to lose weight but developed a new eating lifestyle for health only then the weight over time started managing itself without me thinking about it.
Best of success.1 -
Shaming? If a person's stance is that they are really sick and tired of a weight issue, how is it shaming them when asking if they really are ready? Many people make half hearted attempts at weight loss only to fail because the attempt is half hearted. They weren't really ready to do it or prepared. This leads to low esteem and lack in self confidence to actually try again. Getting people to seriously sit down and look inside themselves to see if they really are ready isn't shaming, it's really just getting themselves to understand that half hearted efforts aren't that successful versus one where a person is committed to it. If one isn't really committed to it, then it's likely a wasted time and effort to just start over and over again.southbaysonia wrote: »Ronda, it's good to see you here, trying, asking for support. Please don't let folks shame you into any position you're not yet comfortable or ready to take on. Small steps add up and you can get 'there', wherever there is for you. Starting with "desiring" is a start to committing. Go at a pace that makes sense to you, which is not to say to not challenge yourself. Please do challenge yourself, but be kind in the challenge, not shaming.
Best,
ZS
I give her advice from direct experience. Not because it's blunt, but because it's true. When you deal with people who are trying to improve their health and weight for a living, you can't just pacify people by letting hear what they want. You may have to dish out what they NEED to hear. Unfortunately some will view this as harsh, but the likelihood of success while treating it with kid's gloves isn't high. We're adults, not children.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I love your posts, I very much subscribe to the 'we're all adults who are responsible for pushing ourselves' thing. Positive encouragement is nice, but it's never going to be the difference between whether you do something or fail at it.
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@ninerbuff is right. MFP will be very supportive, but no one here will actually hold your hand through the process. You're not holding mine, right?
This community, in the great words of Morpheus, can only show you the door: https://youtube.com/watch?v=gABS8a4wm9o&feature=youtu.be&t=6s
Any progress you make will have to be from yourself, from your own discipline. Motivation starts you off, and will last about a day. Discipline is what's needed after that, and is the difference between those who succeed and those who fail. All niner is pointing out is that if you're truly tired of being fat, like you say you are, then you'll do what it takes to find that discipline and get going.
We're all facing the same choice. Becoming and staying fat is easy. Becoming and staying fit isn't necessarily hard, but it's a lot harder than the former option. It's your turn to choose what matters to you more.1 -
I agree with you all0
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Well I wanted to update since restarting this I've dropped 23 lbs and I feel much better and happier. I only have 52 more lbs to go I can do it I do appreciate the tough love at times I needed it to start but I'm not going back to being fat once I get to goal bc I can't I need to look forward. 13
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Join a challenge...this has helped me1
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I don't have motivation..0
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nailpolishqueen79 wrote: »Well I wanted to update since restarting this I've dropped 23 lbs and I feel much better and happier. I only have 52 more lbs to go I can do it I do appreciate the tough love at times I needed it to start but I'm not going back to being fat once I get to goal bc I can't I need to look forward.
you are AWESOME!1 -
This may sound negative, but I am motivated by hatred. I am fueling my motivation by a person I hate. I have a sweet revenge goal. When I am temped to eat, or blow off exercise, I think of the person I hate. That re charges my commitment to be successful.
May sound twisted, borderline and odd, but the more I realize that I can do this, and ground her into the dust, the more motivated I am.1 -
I will send you an add! I was in the same boat last July when I hit 30. I tried a lot of things. MFP is the only thing that has worked for me because of the motivation. The motivation of others keeping you going creates motivation within yourself. I have a learned a lot in the last year. A lot. My attitude in general is more positive. I have a long ways to go, and I am always ready to add nice people. I like your attitude! Trust me, you CAN do this!0
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nailpolishqueen79 wrote: »Well I wanted to update since restarting this I've dropped 23 lbs and I feel much better and happier. I only have 52 more lbs to go I can do it I do appreciate the tough love at times I needed it to start but I'm not going back to being fat once I get to goal bc I can't I need to look forward.
That's great, OP!
If it helps, always remember that more important than motivation is DISCIPLINE. There have been many times where I had zero motivation to count the calories of a meal ("just order the whole pizza, you've earned it!") or go to the gym. This Monday, for example. I woke up feeling tired and generally awful. I had to keep checking that it was actually a Monday and that, yes, I had places to be.
Motivation would have resulted in me sleeping. Discipline is what forced me to remember what I'm working towards, remember that my trainer will be pissed if he shows up early and I'm not there, and that I have yet to regret showing up at the gym.
Discipline doesn't feel warm and fuzzy, but it gets results. Stick with it - you can do it!0 -
Don't despair. I met a man today that lost 189 lbs yes that's correct 189 lbs just by following this program and tracking his calories.0
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