Fit shaming?

Fattonz

I really wasn't sure which forum to post in, so thought I would try it here.

Has anyone else faced this challenge following a recent lifestyle change? Over the last 10 months I went from obese to 10% body fat (60lb loss off my 5'-7" frame). I was overweight for nearly 20 years and am currently 41 years old. I have, for all intents and purposes, weighed essentially the same for the last 5 months. However, in the last two months, since I have begun body building, I have added 1/2" to my bicep, 1-1/8" to my thighs, my waist and body fat percentage has remained the same, and the scale has increased by 6lbs. I have VERY noticeable strength gains on a weekly basis, and can see noticable changes to my physique each week as well.

However, I am still occassionally hearing comments at work, both to my face, and behind my back "you're so skinny", "you're wasting away to nothing", "he looks like an aids patient", "he keeps losing SO much weight". "I hope he's not sick", etc, etc...... Too many more to list.

Hmmmm.....the "hope he's not sick" comment really got to me. So basically with one comment this person is completely dismissing the fact that I may have gotten where I am through hard work?!?? Completely dismissing hundreds of hours of meal planning, meal prep, shopping for clean foods, calorie logging, macro counting, cardio sessions, five days a week in the gym, intense strength training, etc, etc....

Anyway, I'm just kind of sick of people with an inability to be happy for others. When I was overweight I felt happy for people who were succeeding where I was failing....and I openly expressed that and encouraged others when I seen they had done well. I guess I shouldn't care....and this has been my rant....lol.

queenliz99

I think you did marvelous!! Some people are just dumb, a lot of people have difficulty with compliments. Don't listen to them and don't let them get you down.

singingflutelady

You look awesome! Ignore the haters!

gabbrielle08

You look great! People can be so judgemental and have no clue what they're talking about.

estrimp81

You look amazing! I went through the same thing going from 340 to 180, but in the end I am who matters most not them. I was and am still healthy. It is because they haven't known you any other way! Keep it up sir

Gisel2015

You look awesome, congratulation on a job well done. And I like to add: now you know how we women feel...

shopaholic221

You look amazing! Be proud of what you have achieved. Ignore all the negative comments, there just jealous.

Fattonz

I think Gisel might be trying to tell me to man up....lol.

Thanks everyone for the encouragement! On a more positive note I have developed somewhat of a following from certain colleagues looking to make positive changes. They have asked my advice, invited me to workout with them, and as a result I have developed some closer relationships with other like minded people. Aside from the negative comments, my meals have certainly gotten attention. This morning a coworker insisted on sampling my oats with peace and stevia...lol. .....and he liked it!

tracymayhall

I get what you're saying. People are human and although they should be thinking before they speak, most don't. I experienced what you are going through when I lost 200 lbs. People said things like, girl you need to go eat a cheeseburger, or my aunt even gasped, and said I can feel your bones (I adore her), or some said I was too skinny. I let that in my head and attempted to "lighten" up a little, and I fell completely off the health wagon. My goal this time around is to not let what others say get in my head, and for sure not take it to heart. Let's face it, speaking for myself, I would not have a weight problem in the first place if my mind wasn't some what fragile. There will be a time when I start strength training, and I hope to goodness I have the success I see you have had. In the mean time, I'm gonna be strengthening my mind. Thanks for sharing, I needed to see your story today.

davidmartinez66

I understand what you are going through, I heard today "You cannot lose any more weight", I believe it is also some folks feeling a bit guilty about there own weight. You look great and you should be an inspiration to all
the folks in your life, you are to us here. Keep it up!

David

SueSueDio

Awesome work! You certainly don't look sick or unhealthy in those photos, however it is a big change in less than a year and perhaps your colleagues haven't adjusted to the 'new you' yet.

There might possibly be a certain amount of jealousy as well, but don't forget that people at work probably won't have seen the physique under the clothes - they doubtless wouldn't say you're "wasting away" if they saw these photos!

I sympathise, but I'd have to agree with estrimp81 that your colleagues just haven't known you any other way so it's likely a big adjustment for them. They'll get used to it, and hopefully start complimenting you soon!

Gisel2015

Fattonz wrote: »

I think Gisel might be trying to tell me to man up....lol.

Thanks everyone for the encouragement! On a more positive note I have developed somewhat of a following from certain colleagues looking to make positive changes. They have asked my advice, invited me to workout with them, and as a result I have developed some closer relationships with other like minded people. Aside from the negative comments, my meals have certainly gotten attention. This morning a coworker insisted on sampling my oats with peace and stevia...lol. .....and he liked it!

Nope, I was only trying to tell you that us ladies get that kind of comments quite often. I really didn't think that you guys were also exposed to that negativity. Sorry about that and keep up the good work.

Edited to add: if you company has Friday's dress down days, maybe you can really dress down and go to work in short and with just a tight T shirt. That will show them!!!

Montepulciano

First off well done. You inspire me and I have a long path to travel. Secondly, what they are saying, says more about them and has very little to do with you. I know that may sound odd, but it is their own fear and perhaps even jealousy of your success that has them so very negative. As if the ONLY way you could be as fit as you are is if you had some illness. As many have said above, just ignore them, enjoy your new circle of like minded friends.

JeromeBarry1

I get fit shamed on this site just because I'm trying to lose weight with yet 90 to lose. In real life, I keep my friends whom I see regularly and whom I don't see so often informed of my progress. They can talk if they want.

Fattonz

SueSueDio wrote: »

Awesome work! You certainly don't look sick or unhealthy in those photos, however it is a big change in less than a year and perhaps your colleagues haven't adjusted to the 'new you' yet.

There might possibly be a certain amount of jealousy as well, but don't forget that people at work probably won't have seen the physique under the clothes - they doubtless wouldn't say you're "wasting away" if they saw these photos!

I sympathise, but I'd have to agree with estrimp81 that your colleagues just haven't known you any other way so it's likely a big adjustment for them. They'll get used to it, and hopefully start complimenting you soon!

Gisel2015 wrote: »

Nope, I was only trying to tell you that us ladies get that kind of comments quite often. I really didn't think that you guys were also exposed to that negativity. Sorry about that and keep up the good work.

Edited to add: if you company has Friday's dress down days, maybe you can really dress down and go to work in short and with just a tight T shirt. That will show them!!!

Lol...It's ok Gisel, I was just kidding. I think you both have a good point here though. My work clothes are now so big that I swim in them...lol. I have a job that requires I wear fire retardant coveralls....so I am definitely well hidden under all that clothing. Might have to wait for a training day, or team meeting for that tight shirt option

starryphoenix

You look fine. I just think some peoples visual perception of healthy has gotten messed up. There are a lot of fat people nowadays so I guess people forget what healthy looks like and confuse it with being skinny. It is probably a shock to people's systems.

carrisa5673

Wow that's messed up
Forget about it
You look great and feel good that's all that matters
Keep up the good work

BigLifter10

We can ONLY control ourselves. It can be annoying when others dismiss our hard work, but it isn't up to you to worry about what they think about you. You know what you've done and the work that has gone into it.....that is the most important thing.

BobbieLee1959

You look great...I do understand that someone might be concerned about a weight loss such as this, but enjoy and just say something like...I feel better than ever and smile broadly while flexing your beautiful muscles

lisahebert186

You look amazing. Very inspirational.

clovers_mom

I got that, too, when I was super fit. I even had some people tell me I looked better when I gained a little weight. I'm not sure if they meant well or whether they were envious. Probably some of both. In any case, you are not alone in getting these comments. All that matters, though, is that you feel good about yourself and how you look/feel. Try to disregard the others.