"Why didn't you eat any _____? Are you on a diet??"

nebulasprout
nebulasprout Posts: 15 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Does anyone else get really annoyed and/or self-conscious when people ask if they're on a diet? I live in South Korea, and asking about dieting isn't really considered rude here, but I feel like any time I decline a snack in the office or take a smaller portion of rice during lunch, I get people interrogating me about my eating habits. I know it's not coming from a bad place, but it really stresses me out!

Honestly, I hate any attention being paid to how much I eat- be it a comment on how little, how much, or really anything. Does anyone else have this same problem? How do you deal with it?
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Replies

  • concordancia
    concordancia Posts: 5,320 Member
    I usually try to tell people that I have had all I want.
  • SusanKKO
    SusanKKO Posts: 45 Member
    I can relate. I don't like comments and especially when people talk about being "good" or being "bad." Drives me nuts!
  • augustremulous
    augustremulous Posts: 378 Member
    I agree. It definitely gets worse when I'm traveling overseas because all of a sudden my eating habits aren't representing just me - they're representing AMERICAN eating habits. And everything I do leads to a comment or discussion about how Americans eat. No surprise - our eating habits have a bad reputation!



  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    Not really. I eat mostly at home.
    Why don't you just say you just don't want it today or don't want any more of that food and change the subject?
  • jdhcm2006
    jdhcm2006 Posts: 2,254 Member
    Just tell people you get full easily. That way you can avoid the "diet talk."
  • singingflutelady
    singingflutelady Posts: 8,736 Member
    People look at me like I am crazy because of my many food restrictions (for Crohn's). Imagine the comments when you only eat white carbs, white meat, very few veggies and fruit, fish and "junk food"
  • redd_87
    redd_87 Posts: 53 Member
    I do. I'm pretty much at goal/ very close, but I will always count and log my calories because it gives me that feeling of control over food that I need. There's quite a few people (family is the worst) that always make comments that I shouldn't be on a diet, shouldn't be counting calories, I need to eat a cheeseburger, etc. This is a lifestyle for me, and no matter how many times I tell people I'm not on a diet, it doesn't stick. It bothers me, but I don't make a big deal out of it though.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    Never really get comments like that. You shouldn't feel obligated to explain though. Let your no be your no.
  • nebulasprout
    nebulasprout Posts: 15 Member
    augustremulous wrote: »
    I agree. It definitely gets worse when I'm traveling overseas because all of a sudden my eating habits aren't representing just me - they're representing AMERICAN eating habits. And everything I do leads to a comment or discussion about how Americans eat. No surprise - our eating habits have a bad reputation!



    YES this! The other day there was salad with honey mustard dressing, and as I've never been a fan of mustard, I didn't take any. Cue two of my Korean coworkers asking "Oh, Americans don't eat mustard??"

    Amazing.
  • RoseTheWarrior
    RoseTheWarrior Posts: 2,035 Member
    I eat in my office, alone. That way I don't have to talk to anyone! Ha!! :smiley:
  • Asher_Ethan
    Asher_Ethan Posts: 2,430 Member
    I was at the Pinewood Derby for my son in boy scouts and I didn't feel like eating the sandwiches they were serving because they were dripping in mayonnaise and I hate mayonnaise. So I got a plate full of vegtables and all the other moms started talking about me like I wasn't there and how, "she's so skinny she doesn't need to diet at the Pinewood Derby," and "you should really eat something sustainable, you won't gain weight from one little sandwich".

    I hate those women with a passion.
  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
    I tell them that the food in question gives me explosive diarrhea. That usually shuts them up.
  • PaulaWallaDingDong
    PaulaWallaDingDong Posts: 4,641 Member
    There's a lady who comes by my work to bribe us for bananas with goodies. I'm good with the grape HiChew candies she used to bring. I can deal with that. Lately, though, she's been coming around with Häagen-Dazs ice cream bars, and I have to fight her off with a stick every time.
  • nebulasprout
    nebulasprout Posts: 15 Member
    Note to self: find out how to say "explosive diarrhea" in Korean. :tongue:
  • lkpducky
    lkpducky Posts: 17,640 Member
    nebulasprout wrote: »
    Note to self: find out how to say "explosive diarrhea" in Korean. :tongue:
    I just caught myself trying to find the Like button.
  • lkpducky
    lkpducky Posts: 17,640 Member
    SusanKKO wrote: »
    I can relate. I don't like comments and especially when people talk about being "good" or being "bad." Drives me nuts!

    There was an elderly friend "Esther" who called me to have dinner with her every week. She would always say "You're being good!" whenever I ordered something healthy or didn't order an alcoholic drink or dessert. One time a friend eating with us turned down the dessert that was included in her dinner special. Without missing a beat, "Esther" turned to me and said "Do you want it?" Me: "Why didn't you insist that she eat it? You do with me" Esther: "She doesn't need it."
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
    I usually say- no, I just didn't want any. If they continue to badger-what part of I didn't want any wasn't clear? If they continue, repeat the second part, this time with an expletive.
  • ericaconti
    ericaconti Posts: 72 Member
    My mother is the worse. Whenever I eat a meal with her, at home or out, she feels the need to very loudly talk about how I'm on a "diet". Her comments include: you better be careful, you're on a diet; that's not diet food; you're gonna gain your weight back if you stop eating your diet food; better enjoy this real food because tomorrow you'll be back on your diet food.

    It doesn't matter how many times I explain to her that I'm not on a "diet," but instead my diet consists of eating healthy foods and making better food choices, she just doesn't get it.

    Yesterday was a bad day. I went out to lunch with my mother and my sister. I ordered a sandwich that I normally wouldn't order. My mother starts screaming her diet comments. (I've lost half my body weight. I am currently maintaining at 135lbs.) The people at the next table over start talking to each other about how they can't believe on I'm a diet and how skinny I am. To avoid continuing to listening to that convo, I got up to use the restroom and our waitress approached me to tell me how good I look and that I shouldn't be dieting; men don't like skin and bones.

    People seriously need to mind their own business.
  • SonyaCele
    SonyaCele Posts: 2,841 Member
    regardless of what the food is, i tell people it has too much gluten in it and i've reached my gluten limit for the day. That gets them to walk away puzzled.
  • Mystical64
    Mystical64 Posts: 108 Member
    All the time! My boss constantly asks me if I can eat this or that. And I have recently started use this response, Why yes I can eat that, however, I choose not too. And if he asks why not, I tell him my lifestyle no longer allows me to put said food into my body. And (knock on wood) he has stopped so far.
  • chandanista
    chandanista Posts: 986 Member
    I turned down cheesecake at work. Coworker said, lighten up on your diet! I replied I had already eaten a donut and ice cream that day, how much more should I lighten up? Plus side I had room for leftover cheesecake the next day.
  • stephanie20314
    stephanie20314 Posts: 81 Member
    ericaconti wrote: »
    My mother is the worse. Whenever I eat a meal with her, at home or out, she feels the need to very loudly talk about how I'm on a "diet". Her comments include: you better be careful, you're on a diet; that's not diet food; you're gonna gain your weight back if you stop eating your diet food; better enjoy this real food because tomorrow you'll be back on your diet food.

    It doesn't matter how many times I explain to her that I'm not on a "diet," but instead my diet consists of eating healthy foods and making better food choices, she just doesn't get it.

    Yesterday was a bad day. I went out to lunch with my mother and my sister. I ordered a sandwich that I normally wouldn't order. My mother starts screaming her diet comments. (I've lost half my body weight. I am currently maintaining at 135lbs.) The people at the next table over start talking to each other about how they can't believe on I'm a diet and how skinny I am. To avoid continuing to listening to that convo, I got up to use the restroom and our waitress approached me to tell me how good I look and that I shouldn't be dieting; men don't like skin and bones.

    People seriously need to mind their own business.

    You should just stop talking to your mother for a while. She sounds awful.
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
    SonyaCele wrote: »
    regardless of what the food is, i tell people it has too much gluten in it and i've reached my gluten limit for the day. That gets them to walk away puzzled.

    And this would be why people are so misinformed about what foods contain gluten and which don't.
  • starwhisperer6
    starwhisperer6 Posts: 402 Member
    I don't mind. People are curious, or jealous, or making conversation, or thinking that they are complementing. I think it just depends on if you are a private person or not. Im not so they can bring on their questions or comments. If I was private I am certain I could come up with some fantastic smart *kitten* replies for them.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    I never liked people commenting on my diet, that's why I hardly tell anyone I'm working to lose weight. But I'd do my best to brush off any comments like that and realize it's mostly a cultural thing. Even here, when people comment, I just try to brush it off.
  • Mersie1
    Mersie1 Posts: 329 Member
    Stick to what works for you! I have a hard time not being sarcastic "that's so sweet you are so concerned w what I'm eating!" Do what you can to not let them get on your head. I did, and relapsed after recovering from an eating disorder in part bec of it. I am in recovery and I'm still and likely forever, will be viewed through an ED lens! Ok. As long as it's not my lens!!

    Hugs and high fives to you!
  • augustremulous
    augustremulous Posts: 378 Member
    nebulasprout wrote: »

    YES this! The other day there was salad with honey mustard dressing, and as I've never been a fan of mustard, I didn't take any. Cue two of my Korean coworkers asking "Oh, Americans don't eat mustard??"

    Amazing.

    lol yep. I've had so many interactions like that. Oh, Americans don't put sugar in their coffee? Yes, we do, I just don't feel like some right now.

    Back to the OP, though - I realize I may be more sensitive than I should be given that people really do study what I eat because I'm obese. The comment I get the most is "that's really healthy" with a tone of surprise, and sometimes suspicion as if because I'm obese I'm sitting around eating fries all the time. I think a lot of people don't realize that many obese people are just eating more food and that we don't necessarily eat *kitten*. Since I've started this journey the only thing I'm changing is portions.

    I hope to create a supportive environment around food, and sometimes I wonder how to cultivate it. Once I took one of my employees out to dinner, and we spent the evening talking about the project we were working on. As we were leaving, he was like "oooh, I'm sooo full!" and I laughed and said I wasn't full - I felt great. Then he said "that makes sense - you only ate like 550 calories. You didn't have any of that dipping sauce." My mouth literally dropped open; never in a million years would it EVER occur to me to count someone else's calories and track their food. Big surprise, a month later during a conversation I learned that he has an anorexic sister who's had to be hospitalized on several occasions. I wonder if living in a family environment like that could have contributed or made things harder.

    So, when people ask me that question, I just firmly (even abruptly, even rudely if necessary) just say I don't want any. The fact is the reasons don't matter. It could be because I'm counting calories, because I don't like the food, or because I like the food but don't think it's worth the calories (for me, pretty much always the case with sweets, cake, etc). I'm not going into a whole spiel about my thought process around eating it and open it up for discussion, because that sets the precedent you have input on my food choices.

  • Meganthedogmom
    Meganthedogmom Posts: 1,639 Member
    It definitely gets annoying. It's crazy how word will spread through the office that you're "on a diet" just because someone caught you carrying your gym bag one day, or you turned down pizza one time.

    I go out of my way NOT to mention anything about my weight loss or eating/exercise habits because I don't like attention drawn to myself. However, people catch on, and then want to comment on everything I eat. "That's not diet food!" If it's something they don't deem "healthy", or "why aren't you having any ________ / are you on a diet??"

    Leave me alone, people!
  • CrabNebula
    CrabNebula Posts: 1,119 Member
    nebulasprout wrote: »
    augustremulous wrote: »
    I agree. It definitely gets worse when I'm traveling overseas because all of a sudden my eating habits aren't representing just me - they're representing AMERICAN eating habits. And everything I do leads to a comment or discussion about how Americans eat. No surprise - our eating habits have a bad reputation!



    YES this! The other day there was salad with honey mustard dressing, and as I've never been a fan of mustard, I didn't take any. Cue two of my Korean coworkers asking "Oh, Americans don't eat mustard??"

    Amazing.

    Ha. I've gotten critiqued on not what I was eating but how I was eating. I apparently really annoy my German FIL because I switch hands while eating with a fork and knife. He says it is extremely inefficient and why do you Americans eat like that. This is a man that can eat an entire Dr. Oetker frozen pizza in less than 5 minutes. I'm like 'Did you even taste that before it got sucked into your black hole?". Also since when is eating food a race and test of efficencies? :|
  • stealthq
    stealthq Posts: 4,298 Member
    It doesn't really bother me. Someone wants to know why I didn't eat X, I'll tell them. Usually it's because 'I don't like X', 'I ate enough already', or 'I'd rather have Y'. Simple.

    Someone pushes me about it, that's when I get irritated.

    If someone pulls the 'how can you have X - aren't you on a diet' crap (which annoys the hell out of me - probably because I've only gotten it from people I already dislike), then I just cheerfully tell them that absolutely I can eat X, and proceed to eat every crumb with plenty of signs of enjoyment. Usually I get silence and a look of total confusion that lasts through the rest of the meal. Love it.

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