Frustration when trying to help other dieters
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I've lost 60 lbs since July by tracking everything I eat (even my 3100 calorie New Year's Eve). By being aware and honest with myself, I've learned to balance enjoying life (and the food that's a part of it) with being healthy and physically active. When people ask, and I explain this to them, they usually do NOT understand that it's not black and white. You do not "succeed" by staying "on-program" and "fail" when you go "off-program." You succeed by sticking with it. I'm learning that the only way to "fail" at healthy weightloss is to quit. I'm also noticing that this change in mentality appears to be the common difference between people who successfully lose weight for the long term and those who only stick around for a short bit. I started with 100 lbs to lose and went into with the attitude that if I lose just 10 lbs each year, I'll still hit my goal weight before my son graduates high school!0
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youngandaspiringxo wrote: »I got into a disagreement with a friend about CICO/eating at a deficit, and she's convinced it's partly that, but partly <insert whatever is trendy>. Right now it's low carb, which doesn't make sense to me with as much as she runs. I gave up and we wandered off into another topic instead.
People don't want the answer that takes time, they want the quick fix.
Im part of this thread on Facebook right now that started with a girl asking about the best diet that actually works. One chick suggested injecting yourself with a hormone to lose weight! Like come on are you that lazy? Unless you have a medical condition hindering your weight loss there's absolutely no reason you need to go to extreme measures like that.
There are also a lot of people suggesting this girl stop eating meat and she will just instantly drop so much weight. And she's like, aw but I love meat
It's all about moderation people come on! Meat is a huge part of my diet. Just the lean kind. Not hamburgers and bacon. And tbh I gained weight when I went vegetarian for 3 months. 0 -
I've lost 60 lbs since July by tracking everything I eat (even my 3100 calorie New Year's Eve). By being aware and honest with myself, I've learned to balance enjoying life (and the food that's a part of it) with being healthy and physically active. When people ask, and I explain this to them, they usually do NOT understand that it's not black and white. You do not "succeed" by staying "on-program" and "fail" when you go "off-program." You succeed by sticking with it. I'm learning that the only way to "fail" at healthy weightloss is to quit. I'm also noticing that this change in mentality appears to be the common difference between people who successfully lose weight for the long term and those who only stick around for a short bit. I started with 100 lbs to lose and went into with the attitude that if I lose just 10 lbs each year, I'll still hit my goal weight before my son graduates high school!
That is quite an accomplishment. I think you're right. Those who view it as changing their lives will ultimately change their lives. If they view it as a temporary endeavor, the results will be temporary.0 -
The one that irks me is the Shakeology thing. A friend of a mutual friend goes on and on about how wonderful it is (yes, she sells the program) and how she has never looked or felt better, etc...what she fails to mention to people is that she devotes hours upon hours every single day to exercising. She has 4 kids and does this as a job so it is in her best interest to look good as their rep, which means workout at every possible moment and document everything on social media with her mugging with a shake.
When I mention to the mutual friend that CICO is working just fine without the expense, she regurgitates this marketing nonsense about nutrition and proteins and not wasting time tracking calories when she can drink this nutritious and delicious shake and then eat a sensible dinner.
I usually just avoid the topic altogether now.
Or like this girl who "lost over 40 pounds in 3 months by using body wraps." Get real. You're not gonna just lose that kind of weight by wrapping yourself in plastic or whatever the heck that stuff is made out of.0 -
I've lost 60 lbs since July by tracking everything I eat (even my 3100 calorie New Year's Eve). By being aware and honest with myself, I've learned to balance enjoying life (and the food that's a part of it) with being healthy and physically active. When people ask, and I explain this to them, they usually do NOT understand that it's not black and white. You do not "succeed" by staying "on-program" and "fail" when you go "off-program." You succeed by sticking with it. I'm learning that the only way to "fail" at healthy weightloss is to quit. I'm also noticing that this change in mentality appears to be the common difference between people who successfully lose weight for the long term and those who only stick around for a short bit. I started with 100 lbs to lose and went into with the attitude that if I lose just 10 lbs each year, I'll still hit my goal weight before my son graduates high school!
That's the way to do it lady!!0 -
What actually bothers me is people losing almost a pound a day. Hmm, well I guess not bother so much as worries me. They are constantly updating their weight and it shows up on my feed. When I look at their diary they have 2000 only eat 1000 and exercise 700 off. As much as I want to say this is not healthy, I've been accused of being jealous or critical so now I just hide them off my feed. You can't make everyone understand.0
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JenPass1977 wrote: »My work colleague who is sitting opposite me now has been doing a shake only diet since January 1st and has only lost 7 lbs! She keeps falling off the wagon because she is bored with only drinking shakes. She won't, however, give up the very expensive shakes and start eating healthier because she is lazy and doesn't want to cook. So frustrating!!
Why do you say only 7 lbs? That's pretty much just over 0.5 lbs a week. Whether their diet is healthy or not, their loss should not be spoken of as if it's nothing.
Anyway, in response to the question. It is frustrating, but you have to understand it's very easy to say what's right and wrong when you've already experienced success. When you're just starting out, everything is confusing and complicated. I've noticed a certain tone of superiority in people's responses to newbies about how well they've done, there's a bit of that on this thread as well. All of us who have succeeded have done so because we've had enough time to get it right and been told the correct way by other people who have succeeded. But imagine if when any of us started we got responses which basically seemed to be telling us off for not already knowing what they know. I think we'd all have been pretty put off by that. It is frustrating when you know better, but imagine how frustrating for them it is when what they thought they knew turns out to be wrong and they need to completely change their approach.0 -
JenPass1977 wrote: »My work colleague who is sitting opposite me now has been doing a shake only diet since January 1st and has only lost 7 lbs! She keeps falling off the wagon because she is bored with only drinking shakes. She won't, however, give up the very expensive shakes and start eating healthier because she is lazy and doesn't want to cook. So frustrating!!
Why do you say only 7 lbs? That's pretty much just over 0.5 lbs a week. Whether their diet is healthy or not, their loss should not be spoken of as if it's nothing.
Anyway, in response to the question. It is frustrating, but you have to understand it's very easy to say what's right and wrong when you've already experienced success. When you're just starting out, everything is confusing and complicated. I've noticed a certain tone of superiority in people's responses to newbies about how well they've done, there's a bit of that on this thread as well. All of us who have succeeded have done so because we've had enough time to get it right and been told the correct way by other people who have succeeded. But imagine if when any of us started we got responses which basically seemed to be telling us off for not already knowing what they know. I think we'd all have been pretty put off by that. It is frustrating when you know better, but imagine how frustrating for them it is when what they thought they knew turns out to be wrong and they need to completely change their approach.
I think our frustration is more so with the laziness. Not from newbies not properly knowing how to diet. Yea there's a lot of trial and error that comes with figuring out a weight loss plan that works for you particularly, but it's frustrating to see them fail right off the bat by doing ridiculous things to try and lose weight just to get immediate results.0 -
youngandaspiringxo wrote: »JenPass1977 wrote: »My work colleague who is sitting opposite me now has been doing a shake only diet since January 1st and has only lost 7 lbs! She keeps falling off the wagon because she is bored with only drinking shakes. She won't, however, give up the very expensive shakes and start eating healthier because she is lazy and doesn't want to cook. So frustrating!!
Why do you say only 7 lbs? That's pretty much just over 0.5 lbs a week. Whether their diet is healthy or not, their loss should not be spoken of as if it's nothing.
Anyway, in response to the question. It is frustrating, but you have to understand it's very easy to say what's right and wrong when you've already experienced success. When you're just starting out, everything is confusing and complicated. I've noticed a certain tone of superiority in people's responses to newbies about how well they've done, there's a bit of that on this thread as well. All of us who have succeeded have done so because we've had enough time to get it right and been told the correct way by other people who have succeeded. But imagine if when any of us started we got responses which basically seemed to be telling us off for not already knowing what they know. I think we'd all have been pretty put off by that. It is frustrating when you know better, but imagine how frustrating for them it is when what they thought they knew turns out to be wrong and they need to completely change their approach.
I think our frustration is more so with the laziness. Not from newbies not properly knowing how to diet. Yea there's a lot of trial and error that comes with figuring out a weight loss plan that works for you particularly, but it's frustrating to see them fail right off the bat by doing ridiculous things to try and lose weight just to get immediate results.
And most times I don't even see this from newbies. It's from lazy people who have tried fad diet after fad diet and still wonder why they don't see permanent results.0 -
JenPass1977 wrote: »My work colleague who is sitting opposite me now has been doing a shake only diet since January 1st and has only lost 7 lbs! She keeps falling off the wagon because she is bored with only drinking shakes. She won't, however, give up the very expensive shakes and start eating healthier because she is lazy and doesn't want to cook. So frustrating!!
Why do you say only 7 lbs? That's pretty much just over 0.5 lbs a week. Whether their diet is healthy or not, their loss should not be spoken of as if it's nothing.
Anyway, in response to the question. It is frustrating, but you have to understand it's very easy to say what's right and wrong when you've already experienced success. When you're just starting out, everything is confusing and complicated. I've noticed a certain tone of superiority in people's responses to newbies about how well they've done, there's a bit of that on this thread as well. All of us who have succeeded have done so because we've had enough time to get it right and been told the correct way by other people who have succeeded. But imagine if when any of us started we got responses which basically seemed to be telling us off for not already knowing what they know. I think we'd all have been pretty put off by that. It is frustrating when you know better, but imagine how frustrating for them it is when what they thought they knew turns out to be wrong and they need to completely change their approach.
Yes, you're right. It's can be difficult to accept new knowledge and even more difficult to put it into practice.0 -
youngandaspiringxo wrote: »JenPass1977 wrote: »My work colleague who is sitting opposite me now has been doing a shake only diet since January 1st and has only lost 7 lbs! She keeps falling off the wagon because she is bored with only drinking shakes. She won't, however, give up the very expensive shakes and start eating healthier because she is lazy and doesn't want to cook. So frustrating!!
Why do you say only 7 lbs? That's pretty much just over 0.5 lbs a week. Whether their diet is healthy or not, their loss should not be spoken of as if it's nothing.
Anyway, in response to the question. It is frustrating, but you have to understand it's very easy to say what's right and wrong when you've already experienced success. When you're just starting out, everything is confusing and complicated. I've noticed a certain tone of superiority in people's responses to newbies about how well they've done, there's a bit of that on this thread as well. All of us who have succeeded have done so because we've had enough time to get it right and been told the correct way by other people who have succeeded. But imagine if when any of us started we got responses which basically seemed to be telling us off for not already knowing what they know. I think we'd all have been pretty put off by that. It is frustrating when you know better, but imagine how frustrating for them it is when what they thought they knew turns out to be wrong and they need to completely change their approach.
I think our frustration is more so with the laziness. Not from newbies not properly knowing how to diet. Yea there's a lot of trial and error that comes with figuring out a weight loss plan that works for you particularly, but it's frustrating to see them fail right off the bat by doing ridiculous things to try and lose weight just to get immediate results.
It might be laziness, but I think for many this is all just over whelming at first. People get to a point where they suddenly realise they don't like themselves, get depressed and are desperate to feel happier so the desire for a quick fix becomes a thing. At least when someone has taken the time to register on here, they've made some sort of first step that many wouldn't bother with. I just think back to beginning of my own process four years ago when everything seemed like a struggle at first and then eventually it got easier and now it seems like the simplest thing ever. But it means I need to remind myself when I speak to newbies how I felt when I was in their position, because it's so easy to forget from where I am now what it was like when I started.0 -
It is frustrating. I'm looking to lose 30+ lbs. and it's hard. I understand you got to eat healthy and workout. I think it's hard for bigger people cause they want to be skinny and healthy right that minute! But it does take time. I'm figuring that out now. It takes time for it to go away at a healthy pase and if you want it bad enough you'll keep it up and then Resutls will happen. It takes time!0
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Everyone seems to want the quick drop in weight at the start to "motivate" them to keep going and lose more. Or, like others have said, they just want an easy fix and don't want to work for it! I've been guilty of this myself, I didn't want to be hungry and miserable by "dieting" if there was an easier way! Now, though, I've learned that I don't have to be either hungry or miserable and I'm losing weight just fine.
There's an ad that keeps playing on the radio recently for weight loss, presumably targeting all those people who gave up on their New Year's resolutions - "lose 30lbs in 30 days, quickly and safely, with weight loss injections!". Yeah, right. What's "safe" about losing 1lb a day unless you're super-obese to begin with? And how's it going to stay off when you stop the injections? I'm half-tempted to go to their website just to see what they actually say, but I don't want to give them the hits.
I do think, though, that some folks just want to hear that it's hard or time-consuming so that they have an excuse not to do it. I'm almost glad I'm unemployed right now, so I don't have to deal with the co-workers who'd always known me as fat and would be bound to ask questions (even though I'm still fat, small changes are starting to show). Plus the WW leader in the next office would have tried to sign me up!0 -
I used to get annoyed. I was having a conversation one day about it with one of my bosses, who is very fit. I was expressing frustration at a mutual acquaintance who continually asked me for advice but didn't follow any of it. My boss replied to me "Not everyone is like you, you know. Not everyone has your drive". Not only did I take this as a huge compliment, but it made something click for me. Not everyone is at the same place in their journey, and not everyone has the same desire to lose weight at that exact moment. It will sometimes take a long time and a lot of questions before someone makes a move. I continue to give advice when asked but I no longer spend a lot of time on it. If even one person joins MFP and is able to get to their goal weight, great.0
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SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »I used to get annoyed. I was having a conversation one day about it with one of my bosses, who is very fit. I was expressing frustration at a mutual acquaintance who continually asked me for advice but didn't follow any of it. My boss replied to me "Not everyone is like you, you know. Not everyone has your drive". Not only did I take this as a huge compliment, but it made something click for me. Not everyone is at the same place in their journey, and not everyone has the same desire to lose weight at that exact moment. It will sometimes take a long time and a lot of questions before someone makes a move. I continue to give advice when asked but I no longer spend a lot of time on it. If even one person joins MFP and is able to get to their goal weight, great.
+1
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SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »I used to get annoyed. I was having a conversation one day about it with one of my bosses, who is very fit. I was expressing frustration at a mutual acquaintance who continually asked me for advice but didn't follow any of it. My boss replied to me "Not everyone is like you, you know. Not everyone has your drive". Not only did I take this as a huge compliment, but it made something click for me. Not everyone is at the same place in their journey, and not everyone has the same desire to lose weight at that exact moment. It will sometimes take a long time and a lot of questions before someone makes a move. I continue to give advice when asked but I no longer spend a lot of time on it. If even one person joins MFP and is able to get to their goal weight, great.
That's a good point. I suppose if they really want to lose the weight they'll eventually get serious and do it the right way. We're just living in the age of instant gratification.0 -
Sorry I'm a newbie here and have another question. When you all say you should view diet as a long term thing, does that mean eating 1200 calories for the rest of your life? Or until you reach your goal weight?0
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laurenceHarris wrote: »Sorry I'm a newbie here and have another question. When you all say you should view diet as a long term thing, does that mean eating 1200 calories for the rest of your life? Or until you reach your goal weight?
No problem! That's just the amount I need to consume in order to lose weight. So once I hit my goal weight I'll eat more calories to maintain my weight.0 -
youngandaspiringxo wrote: »laurenceHarris wrote: »Sorry I'm a newbie here and have another question. When you all say you should view diet as a long term thing, does that mean eating 1200 calories for the rest of your life? Or until you reach your goal weight?
No problem! That's just the amount I need to consume in order to lose weight. So once I hit my goal weight I'll eat more calories to maintain my weight.
Thanks! So once you've lost the weight will you still count calories or just eat what feels like the right amount?0 -
laurenceHarris wrote: »youngandaspiringxo wrote: »laurenceHarris wrote: »Sorry I'm a newbie here and have another question. When you all say you should view diet as a long term thing, does that mean eating 1200 calories for the rest of your life? Or until you reach your goal weight?
No problem! That's just the amount I need to consume in order to lose weight. So once I hit my goal weight I'll eat more calories to maintain my weight.
Thanks! So once you've lost the weight will you still count calories or just eat what feels like the right amount?
I'm not sure yet. I suppose it depends on how good I get at mentally keeping track of my caloric intake. As of now I'm not too good at it so I track every single morsel I eat. You can message me with any more questions you have. I'm no expert but I can tell you what I've been doing that's been showing me consistent results, my goals, etc0
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