Frustration when trying to help other dieters

SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage

Mavrick_RN wrote: »

Fat people eat too much. Some people just deserve to be fat.

punkyb07

@itsthehumidity That's the best way I've heard it explained. I get tired of people asking me what I've done and not really hearing what I'm saying.

musicfan68

It's really amazing how clueless people are about nutrition - just basic things that I always thought were common knowledge. Being on this message board has been eye opening as far as how ignorant people are.

mdrichardsons

2snakeswoman wrote: »

I understand. I'm not looking for a quick fix, but weighing/measuring everything and logging it seems like such a chore sometimes. I'm doing my best to change that mindset because CICO is the only thing that consistently works for me. When I try something like South Beach, I lose weight that comes right back as soon as I stop the diet. No good.

My mom told me that is how she feels but for me spending maybe 10 minutes a day logging my food (let's even say it's 30 minutes when your first starting, because you get faster at it) that is a small price to pay for how good I feel and I will gladly give up twice that amount of time in my day logging to keep the body I have.

hamstertango

I was so clueless before discovering MFP, it was only by chance I downloaded it and logged my 'normal' days eating that shocked me, it quickly (24hours) made sense.
I stuck to the calorie limit for the week (rather than a day) and lost weight every week.
I feel lucky I found MFP and learned about CI/CO and realised how simple it all is. But it was only by chance as I always thought it would be a lifetime of deprivation to lose my weight and keep it off.

I feel sad rather than frustrated that people who ask how I've done and are really wanting to lose weight- don't try it too, but it's up to them and they will find their way when they are ready or get their ah-ha moment.

LillysMomma09

It's very frustrating. My first month I lost 12 pounds which was great!! So my aunt wanted to know what I was doing and I introduced her to mfp. She needs to lose about 60-80 pounds..she quit after a week because "all of my calories are gone before lunch, I can't live on that!" The whole reason she's in the boat she's in is because she's eating too many calories..I just don't understand how people don't understand that mfp works.. it's calories in versus calories out.

TGraceS

A couple times a week my roommate will say "I really need to lose weight!" and I will say "Well you can borrow my food scale! I'm down a total of 5 lbs!" and she will respond "OMG NO I CANNOT WEIGH MY FOOD I've lost weight before without it and I will do it again!" Meaning she lost weight, then gained it back. I made burgers the other night, meticulously weighed every ingredient, portioned them out perfectly, and they were about 360 calories per burger patty. I grabbed one burger, skipped the bread, and loaded up with veggies. It was a very satisfying meal! She had three burgers, rice, and a small amount of veggies. She had more calories in that one meal than I had all day. And so I just keep my mouth shut and wait for her to see the light.

We should make CICO sound like a fad diet and then everyone will be on board!

EliseTK1

TGraceS wrote: »

We should make CICO sound like a fad diet and then everyone will be on board!

Bahahahahaha YES

ninerbuff

It's NOT your responsibility to correct them. People can just take advice and what they do with it is up to them. People ask me ALL THE TIME in the gym, and many don't follow it. And it's my job. Do I stress over what they do? Nope, because it has no affect on my own health or life.


A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Afura

TGraceS wrote: »

A couple times a week my roommate will say "I really need to lose weight!" and I will say "Well you can borrow my food scale! I'm down a total of 5 lbs!" and she will respond "OMG NO I CANNOT WEIGH MY FOOD I've lost weight before without it and I will do it again!" Meaning she lost weight, then gained it back. I made burgers the other night, meticulously weighed every ingredient, portioned them out perfectly, and they were about 360 calories per burger patty. I grabbed one burger, skipped the bread, and loaded up with veggies. It was a very satisfying meal! She had three burgers, rice, and a small amount of veggies. She had more calories in that one meal than I had all day. And so I just keep my mouth shut and wait for her to see the light.

We should make CICO sound like a fad diet and then everyone will be on board!

Like my dad who crows that he ate a really good healthy meal of a few hundred calories. Then sits down and has the rest of leftovers from the night before, then he has some hard boiled eggs, then he has some chips/pretzels/nuts... by the time he's done grazing it's time for lunch.

RogerToo

Hi
IMO when someone asks how You did it they could be looking for You to validate the method they have chosen and if You give a different answer they will ignore that.

Cheers
Roger

SueSueDio

RogerToo wrote: »

Hi
IMO when someone asks how You did it they could be looking for You to validate the method they have chosen and if You give a different answer they will ignore that.

Cheers
Roger

So they're waiting for "I did everything Dr. Oz said - that man really knows his stuff!!" ??

drwilseyjr

People either have the want and will to lose weight or they don't. And they need to realize that a quick fix is never the answer. However, they need to realize that on their own.

Losing weight and staying healthy is a lifelong endeavor. It takes changing habits, many of which are difficult to change and take discipline and commitment. Some people just don't have either of those.

Or, some people are so desperate (not in a bad way) for a quick solution because they're tired of the way they feel. They'll believe they'll feel better and fit into society better if only they could lose that twenty pounds. Fact is, those people need to learn to accept themselves first and then WANT to change for themselves, not others.

When it comes down to it, you can only offer advice and support. The person has to take getting healthy into their own hands and ow. It. That's not up to you and certainly not worth frustration on your part.

There is no secret to losing weight. None. Be straight out and tell them that. It comes down to the individual and their own WANT to be healthy and fit. To change their habits and lifestyle that's made them unhealthy and overweight in the first place.

In the end, they're either going to do it, or they're not.

2snakeswoman

Some people just don't get it. I want to share the conversation I had with my husband last night. Usually I don't talk to him about dieting because he's never supportive, and I've started and stopped dieting so many times that I'm ashamed. Anyway, he stopped smoking a month ago, so I told him I would join him in this difficult endeavor by losing some of my fat and improving my health along with him. He told me last night how it was going with not smoking, so I started chatting about calories and logging. He told me that was ridiculous, didn't make any sense. He said that calories were a measure of energy and how could limiting the amount of energy I take in help me to lose weight. I explained about unused calories being stored as fat, and he said o.k., but I could tell by his tone of voice that he still thought I was being ridiculous. Sigh .... no more talking to him about my struggle, but he can still talk about his. I get it; I really do.

EliseTK1

2snakeswoman wrote: »

Some people just don't get it. I want to share the conversation I had with my husband last night. Usually I don't talk to him about dieting because he's never supportive, and I've started and stopped dieting so many times that I'm ashamed. Anyway, he stopped smoking a month ago, so I told him I would join him in this difficult endeavor by losing some of my fat and improving my health along with him. He told me last night how it was going with not smoking, so I started chatting about calories and logging. He told me that was ridiculous, didn't make any sense. He said that calories were a measure of energy and how could limiting the amount of energy I take in help me to lose weight. I explained about unused calories being stored as fat, and he said o.k., but I could tell by his tone of voice that he still thought I was being ridiculous. Sigh .... no more talking to him about my struggle, but he can still talk about his. I get it; I really do.

Sometimes it's difficult for people to accept things they don't understand. He may come around eventually. Even if he doesn't, you're on the right path and you know it! All your MFP people are here to support you.

Naptownbabi

My cousin sells "It Works" and got her mom into it too, both are very overweight and its so hard not to just unfriend her on FB because she is flooding my screen with that crap. make this money, lose this weight, make Tattoos brighter, ect... overnight.

PaigeInTechnicolor

Naptownbabi wrote: »

My cousin sells "It Works" and got her mom into it too, both are very overweight and its so hard not to just unfriend her on FB because she is flooding my screen with that crap. make this money, lose this weight, make Tattoos brighter, ect... overnight.

Unfollow button is your friend.

scolaris

Bwaa ha haaaaa...
Welcome to my world.
I think about that quote that gets attributed to lots of famous people:
'Never complain, never explain.'
A lot.

hthr1969

I have lost 110 lbs and no one wants my advice. It is supposed to be hard. If it were easy everyone would be doing it!

youngandaspiringxo

@hthr1969 wow that's amazing!