Frustration when trying to help other dieters

Mavrick_RN wrote: »

Fat people eat too much. Some people just deserve to be fat.

It's really amazing how clueless people are about nutrition - just basic things that I always thought were common knowledge. Being on this message board has been eye opening as far as how ignorant people are.

I was so clueless before discovering MFP, it was only by chance I downloaded it and logged my 'normal' days eating that shocked me, it quickly (24hours) made sense.
I stuck to the calorie limit for the week (rather than a day) and lost weight every week.
I feel lucky I found MFP and learned about CI/CO and realised how simple it all is. But it was only by chance as I always thought it would be a lifetime of deprivation to lose my weight and keep it off.

I feel sad rather than frustrated that people who ask how I've done and are really wanting to lose weight- don't try it too, but it's up to them and they will find their way when they are ready or get their ah-ha moment.

A couple times a week my roommate will say "I really need to lose weight!" and I will say "Well you can borrow my food scale! I'm down a total of 5 lbs!" and she will respond "OMG NO I CANNOT WEIGH MY FOOD I've lost weight before without it and I will do it again!" Meaning she lost weight, then gained it back. I made burgers the other night, meticulously weighed every ingredient, portioned them out perfectly, and they were about 360 calories per burger patty. I grabbed one burger, skipped the bread, and loaded up with veggies. It was a very satisfying meal! She had three burgers, rice, and a small amount of veggies. She had more calories in that one meal than I had all day. And so I just keep my mouth shut and wait for her to see the light.

We should make CICO sound like a fad diet and then everyone will be on board!

It's NOT your responsibility to correct them. People can just take advice and what they do with it is up to them. People ask me ALL THE TIME in the gym, and many don't follow it. And it's my job. Do I stress over what they do? Nope, because it has no affect on my own health or life.


A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Hi
IMO when someone asks how You did it they could be looking for You to validate the method they have chosen and if You give a different answer they will ignore that.

Cheers
Roger

People either have the want and will to lose weight or they don't. And they need to realize that a quick fix is never the answer. However, they need to realize that on their own.

Losing weight and staying healthy is a lifelong endeavor. It takes changing habits, many of which are difficult to change and take discipline and commitment. Some people just don't have either of those.

Or, some people are so desperate (not in a bad way) for a quick solution because they're tired of the way they feel. They'll believe they'll feel better and fit into society better if only they could lose that twenty pounds. Fact is, those people need to learn to accept themselves first and then WANT to change for themselves, not others.

When it comes down to it, you can only offer advice and support. The person has to take getting healthy into their own hands and ow. It. That's not up to you and certainly not worth frustration on your part.

There is no secret to losing weight. None. Be straight out and tell them that. It comes down to the individual and their own WANT to be healthy and fit. To change their habits and lifestyle that's made them unhealthy and overweight in the first place.

In the end, they're either going to do it, or they're not.

2snakeswoman wrote: »

Some people just don't get it. I want to share the conversation I had with my husband last night. Usually I don't talk to him about dieting because he's never supportive, and I've started and stopped dieting so many times that I'm ashamed. Anyway, he stopped smoking a month ago, so I told him I would join him in this difficult endeavor by losing some of my fat and improving my health along with him. He told me last night how it was going with not smoking, so I started chatting about calories and logging. He told me that was ridiculous, didn't make any sense. He said that calories were a measure of energy and how could limiting the amount of energy I take in help me to lose weight. I explained about unused calories being stored as fat, and he said o.k., but I could tell by his tone of voice that he still thought I was being ridiculous. Sigh .... no more talking to him about my struggle, but he can still talk about his. I get it; I really do.

Sometimes it's difficult for people to accept things they don't understand. He may come around eventually. Even if he doesn't, you're on the right path and you know it! All your MFP people are here to support you.

Naptownbabi wrote: »

My cousin sells "It Works" and got her mom into it too, both are very overweight and its so hard not to just unfriend her on FB because she is flooding my screen with that crap. make this money, lose this weight, make Tattoos brighter, ect... overnight.

Unfollow button is your friend.

I have lost 110 lbs and no one wants my advice. It is supposed to be hard. If it were easy everyone would be doing it!

laurenceHarris wrote: »

youngandaspiringxo wrote: »

laurenceHarris wrote: »

Sorry I'm a newbie here and have another question. When you all say you should view diet as a long term thing, does that mean eating 1200 calories for the rest of your life? Or until you reach your goal weight?

No problem! That's just the amount I need to consume in order to lose weight. So once I hit my goal weight I'll eat more calories to maintain my weight.

Thanks! So once you've lost the weight will you still count calories or just eat what feels like the right amount?

You might want to go and have a look in the maintenance forum: there are lots of discussions there of just this kind of question. But basically different things work for different people. Some keep logging with a new calorie goal set for maintenance not loss. They might only weigh themselves if clothes start feeling tight. Others weigh themselves regularly and only log food if they go above the range of weight they have defined as maintenance. This is all about finding what works for you; there are no hard and fast rules.

No. I'm not emotionally invested in whether other people are willing to do what it takes to lose weight. They would have to pay me to get involved.

hthr1969 wrote: »

aimeesun213 wrote: »

@hthr1969, great job! What advice of yours gets rejected? I challenged a method I didn't agree with, and won't bother with doing that again.

I hear chatter at work all the time about what new diet people are on. They never ask me what I have done to lose. They hear about it through gossip. I have found the only supportive people are ones who are fit and healthy themselves.

What have you done to lose?

hthr1969 wrote: »

aimeesun213 wrote: »

hthr1969 wrote: »

aimeesun213 wrote: »

@hthr1969, great job! What advice of yours gets rejected? I challenged a method I didn't agree with, and won't bother with doing that again.

I hear chatter at work all the time about what new diet people are on. They never ask me what I have done to lose. They hear about it through gossip. I have found the only supportive people are ones who are fit and healthy themselves.

What have you done to lose?

I started at weight watchers at 315 lbs! Then I found a crossfit program thru my local gym. I'm starting my 14th month in that program. I also evolved into eating organic whole foods and now am trying this because weight watchers wasn't working for me anymore. I just moved so I have been eating out the last few days on the run. Feel yucky! What about you?

People want a gimmicks or quick fix. It takes dedication and consistency and grit.