Did you get more attention after losing weight?

jacki865

Something I'm curious about, I started at 235 now I'm at 207 and my goal is 130. I'm 5,2. I am used to not getting much attention, n ver been hit on from guys, I don't get compliments that often etc. but I am now starting to get comments on the weight loss so far so it's barely getting noticeable. I reluctantly put my foot into the dating pool and got a few bites but nothing serious. I was curious about when I reach my goal weight, will I be treated differently? What has been your experiences with how your were treated after losing?

CatherineElizabeth13

I went from 180 to 135 a while back.
I got a lot more attention. But it could be a confidence thing.
I wore better fitted clothes and held myself better when I walked because I wasn't trying to hide myself away.
Humans are attracted to confidence. So I suppose I can't give you a real answer.

AllSpiceNice

Congrats on your successful weight loss! Our stats are very similar (female, 5'1", SW 235. My current CW is 138, weight lost over 1-1/2 years. GW 135).

Yes, you will be treated differently. People you don't know are nicer when you're not overweight. I enjoy the more frequent offers to help with luggage at the airport and lift things at the store. The increase in random flirting / people checking you out is pretty cool too.

The change in behavior from people you already know can be surprising. The majority of the people and comments have been positive, which has been great. There are a few people that wouldn't talk to me before who are now very chatty. There are a few who seem to be uncomfortable with the fact that I've lost weight and they haven't. And a few that seem unhappy that I am now the same size or smaller than they are.

Also, be ready for some very personal questions about your diet, how much weight you've lost, your goal weight, etc. Decide in advance how much information you want to share, have a polite, friendly response ready to go, then stick to your guns when people get too nosy. :-)

Good Luck - you can do it!

AlphaCajun

Yep. Definite increase in attention. And it's not a confidence issue on my end, I'm the same in that department as I was before (still as shy as I was before lol) but I get checked out and flirted with far more often.

amyvanblaricom

I have noticed that I am not as invisible as I once was. I didn't even fully realize how it had become. I've gone into stores shopping and had more men sales representatives be helpful, I've had my boss carry on a longer conversation than normal, and I even had someone whistle at me in a parking lot last week. None of that happened before I lost 81 pounds. Some of it feels good and some of it makes me uncomfortable because it isn't normal to me.

chastityb5

AllSpiceNice wrote: »

Congrats on your successful weight loss! Our stats are very similar (female, 5'1", SW 235. My current CW is 138, weight lost over 1-1/2 years. GW 135).

Yes, you will be treated differently. People you don't know are nicer when you're not overweight. I enjoy the more frequent offers to help with luggage at the airport and lift things at the store. The increase in random flirting / people checking you out is pretty cool too.

The change in behavior from people you already know can be surprising. The majority of the people and comments have been positive, which has been great. There are a few people that wouldn't talk to me before who are now very chatty. There are a few who seem to be uncomfortable with the fact that I've lost weight and they haven't. And a few that seem unhappy that I am now the same size or smaller than they are.

Also, be ready for some very personal questions about your diet, how much weight you've lost, your goal weight, etc. Decide in advance how much information you want to share, have a polite, friendly response ready to go, then stick to your guns when people get too nosy. :-)

Good Luck - you can do it!

AllSpiceNice wrote: »

Congrats on your successful weight loss! Our stats are very similar (female, 5'1", SW 235. My current CW is 138, weight lost over 1-1/2 years. GW 135).

Yes, you will be treated differently. People you don't know are nicer when you're not overweight. I enjoy the more frequent offers to help with luggage at the airport and lift things at the store. The increase in random flirting / people checking you out is pretty cool too.

The change in behavior from people you already know can be surprising. The majority of the people and comments have been positive, which has been great. There are a few people that wouldn't talk to me before who are now very chatty. There are a few who seem to be uncomfortable with the fact that I've lost weight and they haven't. And a few that seem unhappy that I am now the same size or smaller than they are.

Also, be ready for some very personal questions about your diet, how much weight you've lost, your goal weight, etc. Decide in advance how much information you want to share, have a polite, friendly response ready to go, then stick to your guns when people get too nosy. :-)

Good Luck - you can do it!

I feel like I'm living this post reply ^^^ . I haven't lost much weight (32lbs) but I do feel like people are more drawn to me at the gym etc . Much friendlier ! Also I feel some friends have alienated from me and are not happy about my weight loss

BobbieLee1959

AlphaCajun wrote: »

Yep. Definite increase in attention. And it's not a confidence issue on my end, I'm the same in that department as I was before (still as shy as I was before lol) but I get checked out and flirted with far more often.

I would have flirted with you before your weight loss...you are just plain cute! LOL

Fernando618G

I started off 262..... my picture explains its self, hard work && dedication if i can do it so can you. if you want you can add i love helping people if i can

arditarose

I got more attention from strangers before I lost weight. I think it's because of what my measurements used to be...34, 29, 44. Now I just kind of blend in.

yangt41

Definitely more attention from men. People will treat you differently. I find that strangers are a lot nicer especially strangers of the opposite sex. And the weird thing is that I pay more attention TO men now. Before the weight loss I'd just hide behind my friends because i didnt have much confidence in my appearance and rarely got talked to by men. Now if i see a single looking male, I have the confidence to initiate a move. NEVER would I have that confidence before I lost 40 lbs!

Jruzer

Oh yeah. The ladies are all over me now.

Edit: sarcasm

AlphaCajun

BobbieLee1959 wrote: »

AlphaCajun wrote: »

Yep. Definite increase in attention. And it's not a confidence issue on my end, I'm the same in that department as I was before (still as shy as I was before lol) but I get checked out and flirted with far more often.

I would have flirted with you before your weight loss...you are just plain cute! LOL

Thanks

becca_rup23

I'm only down around 25 lbs and I feel like I already get a lot more attention. I feel a lot more confident though too, and I think that's a big part of it!

bigblueeyes1

I haven't lost much of anything at this point, but what concerns me is when I do lose the weight, I'm going to have anger and resentment towards the men that show me attention (if they do). Almost like "So what? I wasn't good enough when I was fat but now I am? F off." Anyone else think this or maybe has even experienced it?

brigg9

bigblueeyes1 wrote: »

I haven't lost much of anything at this point, but what concerns me is when I do lose the weight, I'm going to have anger and resentment towards the men that show me attention (if they do). Almost like "So what? I wasn't good enough when I was fat but now I am? F off." Anyone else think this or maybe has even experienced it?

So you're going to direct your own personal resentment to random men that show you kindness? Huh. Good luck with that.

ronjsteele1

bigblueeyes1 wrote: »

I haven't lost much of anything at this point, but what concerns me is when I do lose the weight, I'm going to have anger and resentment towards the men that show me attention (if they do). Almost like "So what? I wasn't good enough when I was fat but now I am? F off." Anyone else think this or maybe has even experienced it?

I actually had to deal with some anger towards my husband in this way. Really irritated me that my weight mattered at all (even a little bit). But let's be honest, gaining *some* weight is one thing when you're married, gaining a ton is a total other. I had to get over that and realize if the tables were turned I would feel the same way towards him. I actually did not start losing (I had been logging more then 60 days already by this point) until my "why" became for me and not him. Prior to that I was exuding a certain anger (without saying anything about it) that was almost making me want to eat in defiance (and he had no idea I was even doing MFP). Once I realized the weight loss is for me and my health and how I wanted to feel about me again, I started being able to stay within my calorie range and started losing (albeit it slowly!). So you will definitely need to deal with this issue at some point.

emdeesea

bigblueeyes1 wrote: »

I haven't lost much of anything at this point, but what concerns me is when I do lose the weight, I'm going to have anger and resentment towards the men that show me attention (if they do). Almost like "So what? I wasn't good enough when I was fat but now I am? F off." Anyone else think this or maybe has even experienced it?

Don't have anger issues but do have people I basically have had to tell to get the eff out of my life. It's not necessarily because they weren't attracted to me (because I understand that) but that they were downright rude and dismissive and now suddenly they're all nicey-nicey.

You show your complete lack of character when you think it's perfectly okay to be rude to someone because you see them as beneath you.

bigblueeyes1

emdeesea wrote: »

bigblueeyes1 wrote: »

I haven't lost much of anything at this point, but what concerns me is when I do lose the weight, I'm going to have anger and resentment towards the men that show me attention (if they do). Almost like "So what? I wasn't good enough when I was fat but now I am? F off." Anyone else think this or maybe has even experienced it?

Don't have anger issues but do have people I basically have had to tell to get the eff out of my life. It's not necessarily because they weren't attracted to me (because I understand that) but that they were downright rude and dismissive and now suddenly they're all nicey-nicey.

You show your complete lack of character when you think it's perfectly okay to be rude to someone because you see them as beneath you.

Thank you! This is what I meant. I have NO IDEA how I'm going to feel when the weight comes off. I think it would be a little normal though if, like you said, someone is all nice or interested now that you lost weight but they weren't before. I hope I don't have any anger or anything towards anyone.

bigblueeyes1

ronjsteele1 wrote: »

bigblueeyes1 wrote: »

I haven't lost much of anything at this point, but what concerns me is when I do lose the weight, I'm going to have anger and resentment towards the men that show me attention (if they do). Almost like "So what? I wasn't good enough when I was fat but now I am? F off." Anyone else think this or maybe has even experienced it?

I actually had to deal with some anger towards my husband in this way. Really irritated me that my weight mattered at all (even a little bit). But let's be honest, gaining *some* weight is one thing when you're married, gaining a ton is a total other. I had to get over that and realize if the tables were turned I would feel the same way towards him. I actually did not start losing (I had been logging more then 60 days already by this point) until my "why" became for me and not him. Prior to that I was exuding a certain anger (without saying anything about it) that was almost making me want to eat in defiance (and he had no idea I was even doing MFP). Once I realized the weight loss is for me and my health and how I wanted to feel about me again, I started being able to stay within my calorie range and started losing (albeit it slowly!). So you will definitely need to deal with this issue at some point.

I know what you mean about eating in defiance. I once had a guy I went to school with say how "hot" I was in high school. Then he proceeds to say " what happened?" "Are you going to do something to about it?" I swear I wanted to go eat 10 cheeseburgers right in front of him. That was the last time I spoke to him. I don't know if I'll have any anger towards people. I really hope I don't.

amandablair90

I'm still a bit from my goal but the attention I've been getting lately is unreal. I've always been an ugly duckling and never got attention from guys and stuff so it's really.. Different. It's nice, but sometimes it can be a bit weird. People over all are just nicer to me and more delighted to converse. You notice these differences..

I do, however, believe this isn't so much from my physical change as it is from my confidence change. I've never been self confident, I guess in a sense.. I was always so big so I made myself little in every way possible. I am a bubbly, funny, excited girl so to feel free to be who I am because I don't feel so constricted by the judgment of others is really amazing.. And I do think that's the source of my attention lately. People at work tell me I'm always so confident and bubbly - if anyone were to try to describe me like that a couple of years ago, I'd laugh in their face.

I'm happier now that I care less about what others think, and I will probably always regret hiding the person I was even when I was 70lbs heavier.