Vent/rant-so mad and frustrated with myself
elphie754
Posts: 7,574 Member
I need a listening ear, or two. I am so mad and frustrated with myself. I started this journey at 260lbs in sept 2014. By October 2015, I was down to 190 and was feeling great (was doing the c25k program and was already in the 4 th week). Early September, one of my significant others moved in. He does not have a weight issue so he pretty much eats whatever. Unfortunately I also slipped into eating "whatever" and stopped weighing food (I partially felt embarrassed weight food with them living here). I also got lazy and stopped running. I saw the scale start to go back up, but always found an excuse for why I didn't care. I should have "restarted" weighing my food and what not when I kept seeing the scale increase, but I would always say, well it's just a few lbs, no big deal, I will "restart" tomorrow. Well a few lbs turned into 10, which turned into 20 etc. now I am back at 230 and so annoyed at myself.
Sorry for rant. Typing it all out was kind of my reality check.
Sorry for rant. Typing it all out was kind of my reality check.
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Replies
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This is life, it just happened, don't beat yourself up over it!
The important thing is you understand what is needed to be done and it seems you are done with the excuses.
Talk to your significant other so he/she can support you on your journey!
It felt weird for me in the beginning but eventually you will notice that they do not care if you weigh your food or not since they will want the very best for you.
You got this!0 -
This is life, it just happened, don't beat yourself up over it!
The important thing is you understand what is needed to be done and it seems you are done with the excuses.
Talk to your significant other so he/she can support you on your journey!
It felt weird for me in the beginning but eventually you will notice that they do not care if you weigh your food or not since they will want the very best for you.
You got this!
He is very supportive and accepts that I have to be "weird" and use the food scale lol. We are planning on joining a gym nearby that has a couples membership. However, he doesn't want to annoy me by pushing me too hard.
Funny story-when he first moved in and saw the kitchen scale, he thought it was for weighing drugs lol.0 -
I know how you feel. It is so much easier to diet when you're by yourself, and only cooking for yourself.
My boyfriend is also a healthy weight, and eats whatever he wants to stay that way. I gained like 50 lbs since our first date and now, 4 years later. Because it's so easy to over indulge when you're watching someone else do it. And that was after losing 50 lbs before I met him
So I've been where you are.
He's super super supportive, to the point that he is cutting out carbs just so we don't have them in the house and I am not tempted. But I know he misses his sweets and pizza, and is struggling with a diet he doesn't even need, which makes me feel a bit guilty.
But anyway, don't beat yourself up over it. I am starting over, and feeling good about it. Just remember that every day you eat healthy, at least your weight isn't going to increase further
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Weighing food is just a waste of time anyway....0
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Weighing food is just a waste of time anyway....
People who have a lot of weight to lose don't have to weigh their food unless they are not seeing results due to underestimating their portions. However, when you have less weight to lose, a food scale is key. I use mine all the time and it takes seconds.0 -
OP--you did it once and can do it again. You're intelligent, since I've seen you posting. Look at your post like you would another poster. What advice would you give? Do that and you'll be fine. In another year things will be different if you change things up. Ranting is OK--now get to it.
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I know how you feel. It is so much easier to diet when you're by yourself, and only cooking for yourself.
My boyfriend is also a healthy weight, and eats whatever he wants to stay that way. I gained like 50 lbs since our first date and now, 4 years later. Because it's so easy to over indulge when you're watching someone else do it. And that was after losing 50 lbs before I met him So I've been where you are.
He's super super supportive, to the point that he is cutting out carbs just so we don't have them in the house and I am not tempted. But I know he misses his sweets and pizza, and is struggling with a diet he doesn't even need, which makes me feel a bit guilty.
But anyway, don't beat yourself up over it. I am starting over, and feeling good about it. Just remember that every day you eat healthy, at least your weight isn't going to increase further
I glad to hear that I'm not the only one who has gone through this.
I'm trying not to beat myself up too much but can't help thinking of where my progress would be if I didn't stop. I'd likely be close to my goal weight.Weighing food is just a waste of time anyway....
For me it isn't. I am terrible at estimating portion sizes. When I wasn't weighing my food I would underestimate how many cals I was eating (and occasionally overestimate). I've learned from the past that calorie counting and weighing my food is how I lose weight.snowflake954 wrote: »OP--you did it once and can do it again. You're intelligent, since I've seen you posting. Look at your post like you would another poster. What advice would you give? Do that and you'll be fine. In another year things will be different if you change things up. Ranting is OK--now get to it.
Thank you. Pretty sure I would tell them to just jump back on the wagon and try not to get too upset about it. Easier said than done though.0 -
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This is life, it just happened, don't beat yourself up over it!
The important thing is you understand what is needed to be done and it seems you are done with the excuses.
Talk to your significant other so he/she can support you on your journey!
It felt weird for me in the beginning but eventually you will notice that they do not care if you weigh your food or not since they will want the very best for you.
You got this!
He is very supportive and accepts that I have to be "weird" and use the food scale lol. We are planning on joining a gym nearby that has a couples membership. However, he doesn't want to annoy me by pushing me too hard.
Funny story-when he first moved in and saw the kitchen scale, he thought it was for weighing drugs lol.
Really cool that he's going to the gym with you; sounds like he is very understanding and supportive so you don't need to feel embarassed. My ex and I both weighed our food for years so it was just normal to us, but when I first started she thought I was mad/obsessed and it was total overkill, then she became as hooked as I am. Good luck to you.0 -
Everyone should weigh and measure food and drink how could you possibly know how much your eating by looking lol0
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I belong to TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) and have lost a total of 40 pounds since Sept 2010. I too got "lazy" and have put about half back on in the last year. I am upset and angry with myself, but I also know that life really does get in the way and you just can't give 100%.....100% of the time! Lucky for us, it is an issue, therefore it's always in the back of our minds. I can't count the number of times I have refused an Ice Cream or a pastry because I have to get weighed in 2 days. Now, if I could just do that for the rest of the week, I'd be all set! I start again every Wednesday morning with a clean slate an a promise that this week will be better. Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't, but at least I'm trying.
Hubby has a weight problem, but he doesn't care. He still eats pie and ice cream and chips/dip and salty snacks. That makes my job so much harder. I wish he was a fitness nut, or at least somewhat conscious of what he eats.0 -
This is life, it just happened, don't beat yourself up over it!
The important thing is you understand what is needed to be done and it seems you are done with the excuses.
Talk to your significant other so he/she can support you on your journey!
It felt weird for me in the beginning but eventually you will notice that they do not care if you weigh your food or not since they will want the very best for you.
You got this!
He is very supportive and accepts that I have to be "weird" and use the food scale lol. We are planning on joining a gym nearby that has a couples membership. However, he doesn't want to annoy me by pushing me too hard.
Funny story-when he first moved in and saw the kitchen scale, he thought it was for weighing drugs lol.
Really cool that he's going to the gym with you; sounds like he is very understanding and supportive so you don't need to feel embarassed. My ex and I both weighed our food for years so it was just normal to us, but when I first started she thought I was mad/obsessed and it was total overkill, then she became as hooked as I am. Good luck to you.
Thank you. Just feels weird weighing food when he's around, but I guess I have to get used to it, lol.Everyone should weigh and measure food and drink how could you possibly know how much your eating by looking lol
Exactly0 -
smotheredincheese wrote: »
And there are so many who say this despite insisting they weigh everything. Mental attitude is the key. If you have the right way, you are more likely to overestimate.0 -
Weighing food is just a waste of time anyway....
People who have a lot of weight to lose don't have to weigh their food unless they are not seeing results due to underestimating their portions. However, when you have less weight to lose, a food scale is key. I use mine all the time and it takes seconds.
I disagree for two reasons:
Weighing food helps one understand and get a feel for correct portions.
Weighing food helped me to not eat TOO little at times.0 -
smotheredincheese wrote: »
And there are so many who say this despite insisting they weigh everything. Mental attitude is the key. If you have the right way, you are more likely to overestimate.
I didn't ask for an opinion as to if I should use a food scale or not. Please take your negativity elsewhere.
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snowflake954 wrote: »OP--you did it once and can do it again. You're intelligent, since I've seen you posting. Look at your post like you would another poster. What advice would you give? Do that and you'll be fine. In another year things will be different if you change things up. Ranting is OK--now get to it.
Sounds like you have had a wake up call.
Regain stinks. I lost 100 in 2012. Had some big stressful stuff happen and regained 50+ I did the denial thing for awhile too...the "well that isn't so bad, I'm still down by X".
My wake up was a doctor's scale in December. So back to it and down 42 pounds so far.
You can do this. 0 -
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Don't be so rough on yourself ! We all have setbacks at times ! Please do not beat yourself up at all !
Just get back to it. You did it once and can do it again ! For me being in a routine helps a lot ! For example - I just weigh my food and go to the gym out of habit now. I do it all without much thought. Its part of my day now. So get yourself back into the routine again ! Once something is part of your daily regiment , its easy to stick to !
I like this saying - fake it until you make it ! You don't have to be perfect . little changes count too ! Just go through the motions even if your not feeling it until it sticks !
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I need a listening ear, or two. I am so mad and frustrated with myself. I started this journey at 260lbs in sept 2014. By October 2015, I was down to 190 and was feeling great (was doing the c25k program and was already in the 4 th week). Early September, one of my significant others moved in. He does not have a weight issue so he pretty much eats whatever. Unfortunately I also slipped into eating "whatever" and stopped weighing food (I partially felt embarrassed weight food with them living here). I also got lazy and stopped running. I saw the scale start to go back up, but always found an excuse for why I didn't care. I should have "restarted" weighing my food and what not when I kept seeing the scale increase, but I would always say, well it's just a few lbs, no big deal, I will "restart" tomorrow. Well a few lbs turned into 10, which turned into 20 etc. now I am back at 230 and so annoyed at myself.
Sorry for rant. Typing it all out was kind of my reality check.
I'm hearing a lot of shame in this: ashamed to have gained weight back, ashamed to let someone see you weigh food, ashamed for not working out, ashamed of yourself period. The trouble is, shame is not all that helpful in actually changing behaviour. Instead, you just feel like *kitten*, and worse, that you are a *kitten* person, and of course, *kitten* people don't deserve to treat themselves well or make healthy choices. Shame usually leads to more of the same behaviour that you were originally ashamed of.
Instead, maybe try to see time period in your life this as a source of information for future choices. You learned that weighing food, working out and making different food choices work for you in achieving your goals, and that not doing those things get in the way of your achieving your goals. Sometimes you are going to make choices that support your goals, and sometimes you won't, but it doesn't mean you are a *kitten* person. It means you are a human person with a complicated emotional existence, with goals that sometimes conflict with each other and that health and nutrition are difficult issues to navigate for all of us.0 -
I need a listening ear, or two. I am so mad and frustrated with myself. I started this journey at 260lbs in sept 2014. By October 2015, I was down to 190 and was feeling great (was doing the c25k program and was already in the 4 th week). Early September, one of my significant others moved in. He does not have a weight issue so he pretty much eats whatever. Unfortunately I also slipped into eating "whatever" and stopped weighing food (I partially felt embarrassed weight food with them living here). I also got lazy and stopped running. I saw the scale start to go back up, but always found an excuse for why I didn't care. I should have "restarted" weighing my food and what not when I kept seeing the scale increase, but I would always say, well it's just a few lbs, no big deal, I will "restart" tomorrow. Well a few lbs turned into 10, which turned into 20 etc. now I am back at 230 and so annoyed at myself.
Sorry for rant. Typing it all out was kind of my reality check.
I'm hearing a lot of shame in this: ashamed to have gained weight back, ashamed to let someone see you weigh food, ashamed for not working out, ashamed of yourself period. The trouble is, shame is not all that helpful in actually changing behaviour. Instead, you just feel like *kitten*, and worse, that you are a *kitten* person, and of course, *kitten* people don't deserve to treat themselves well or make healthy choices. Shame usually leads to more of the same behaviour that you were originally ashamed of.
Instead, maybe try to see time period in your life this as a source of information for future choices. You learned that weighing food, working out and making different food choices work for you in achieving your goals, and that not doing those things get in the way of your achieving your goals. Sometimes you are going to make choices that support your goals, and sometimes you won't, but it doesn't mean you are a *kitten* person. It means you are a human person with a complicated emotional existence, with goals that sometimes conflict with each other and that health and nutrition are difficult issues to navigate for all of us.
Okay, have to laugh at the edits turning my swear words into "kitten"! If you quote my post, you'll see the original words I used!0 -
And I also remember someone asking me if all my scales where for drugs ! Lmao !!! At that time I didn't know how to judge portions well at all yet so I needed the scale with me. I had one in my car, one at work and one at home. Lol0
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I know how you feel. It is so much easier to diet when you're by yourself, and only cooking for yourself.
My boyfriend is also a healthy weight, and eats whatever he wants to stay that way. I gained like 50 lbs since our first date and now, 4 years later. Because it's so easy to over indulge when you're watching someone else do it. And that was after losing 50 lbs before I met him So I've been where you are.
He's super super supportive, to the point that he is cutting out carbs just so we don't have them in the house and I am not tempted. But I know he misses his sweets and pizza, and is struggling with a diet he doesn't even need, which makes me feel a bit guilty.
But anyway, don't beat yourself up over it. I am starting over, and feeling good about it. Just remember that every day you eat healthy, at least your weight isn't going to increase further
I glad to hear that I'm not the only one who has gone through this.
I'm trying not to beat myself up too much but can't help thinking of where my progress would be if I didn't stop. I'd likely be close to my goal weight.
I completely understand thinking this way, but it's not helpful. Try to reframe it as a learning experience and something that will help you later in maintenance. Learning what lets us regain is really valuable, and you know how to lose it again and are motivated to do so.0 -
Weighing food is just a waste of time anyway....
Disagree.
Also....way to be NOT supportive of the OP and her issue.
elphie....you know how to do this, you just stopping doing it. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. It's hard to re-do the hard work you have already done, but I know you can do it. YOU CAN DO IT!
Thank you! Yes I know what worked before so I just need to stop making excuses and do it.thorsmom01 wrote: »Don't be so rough on yourself ! We all have setbacks at times ! Please do not beat yourself up at all !
Just get back to it. You did it once and can do it again ! For me being in a routine helps a lot ! For example - I just weigh my food and go to the gym out of habit now. I do it all without much thought. Its part of my day now. So get yourself back into the routine again ! Once something is part of your daily regiment , its easy to stick to !
I like this saying - fake it until you make it ! You don't have to be perfect . little changes count too ! Just go through the motions even if your not feeling it until it sticks !
Haha, I'm always hard on myself. It's the perfectionist in me. I am trying to just let it go. Easier said than done.I need a listening ear, or two. I am so mad and frustrated with myself. I started this journey at 260lbs in sept 2014. By October 2015, I was down to 190 and was feeling great (was doing the c25k program and was already in the 4 th week). Early September, one of my significant others moved in. He does not have a weight issue so he pretty much eats whatever. Unfortunately I also slipped into eating "whatever" and stopped weighing food (I partially felt embarrassed weight food with them living here). I also got lazy and stopped running. I saw the scale start to go back up, but always found an excuse for why I didn't care. I should have "restarted" weighing my food and what not when I kept seeing the scale increase, but I would always say, well it's just a few lbs, no big deal, I will "restart" tomorrow. Well a few lbs turned into 10, which turned into 20 etc. now I am back at 230 and so annoyed at myself.
Sorry for rant. Typing it all out was kind of my reality check.
I'm hearing a lot of shame in this: ashamed to have gained weight back, ashamed to let someone see you weigh food, ashamed for not working out, ashamed of yourself period. The trouble is, shame is not all that helpful in actually changing behaviour. Instead, you just feel like *kitten*, and worse, that you are a *kitten* person, and of course, *kitten* people don't deserve to treat themselves well or make healthy choices. Shame usually leads to more of the same behaviour that you were originally ashamed of.
Instead, maybe try to see time period in your life this as a source of information for future choices. You learned that weighing food, working out and making different food choices work for you in achieving your goals, and that not doing those things get in the way of your achieving your goals. Sometimes you are going to make choices that support your goals, and sometimes you won't, but it doesn't mean you are a *kitten* person. It means you are a human person with a complicated emotional existence, with goals that sometimes conflict with each other and that health and nutrition are difficult issues to navigate for all of us.
What in the world? I'm assuming "kitten" was supposed to be a different word because that made no sense lol.
Anyway, not so much ashamed as j am mad at myself. And I just find it awkward to weigh food in front of others.
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If you lived here in Italy you wouldn't find it awkward at all. Being on the metric system, everyone has a scale and weighs food. Just tell people you used to live in Europe where you picked up the habit.0
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snowflake954 wrote: »If you lived here in Italy you wouldn't find it awkward at all. Being on the metric system, everyone has a scale and weighs food. Just tell people you used to live in Europe where you picked up the habit.
Really? That's awesome.0 -
I could have written this post, except for the significant other part. For me, it's just all four wheels falling off the wagon and having little resistance. But you and I have both been here long enough to know what needs to be done. And it's time to do that.1
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I could have written this post, except for the significant other part. For me, it's just all four wheels falling off the wagon and having little resistance. But you and I have both been here long enough to know what needs to be done. And it's time to do that.
Yes we do. Although it looks like a very steep hill to climb when starting back at the base.0 -
It's just a set back! You've got the right attitude, you'll achieve your goals! Wish you all the best!
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I could have written this post, except for the significant other part. For me, it's just all four wheels falling off the wagon and having little resistance. But you and I have both been here long enough to know what needs to be done. And it's time to do that.
Yes we do. Although it looks like a very steep hill to climb when starting back at the base.
You know, with all the people posting "I have 100+ lbs to lose, please be my friend", 40 doesn't sound too bad. Just don't think about it. Your SO is still with you after the gain and wants to accompany you to the gym. That sounds like a positive.0 -
smotheredincheese wrote: »
And there are so many who say this despite insisting they weigh everything. Mental attitude is the key. If you have the right way, you are more likely to overestimate.
I didn't ask for an opinion as to if I should use a food scale or not. Please take your negativity elsewhere.
i.e. only certain types of response allowed.
Freedom of speech. Negativety just an opinion...0
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