Vent/rant-so mad and frustrated with myself
Replies
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smotheredincheese wrote: »
And there are so many who say this despite insisting they weigh everything. Mental attitude is the key. If you have the right way, you are more likely to overestimate.
I didn't ask for an opinion as to if I should use a food scale or not. Please take your negativity elsewhere.
i.e. only certain types of response allowed.
Freedom of speech. Negativety just an opinion...
He just can't help it.1 -
I lost 100 pounds, and then I gained it ALL back, Plus some. I could have killed myself. (Figuratively). Now I am starting again, and I have realized that until I really forgave myself, and did this WITH my body, from a position of love instead of hate and punishment for my body, that I was not going to get anywhere. I would continue this cycle. Now, I want to be fit, and I am really ready to work for it, and keep it off this time. It has to be a complete lifestyle change, not just a diet. So get back up, brush yourself off, forgive yourself for your mistake, and correct it. Don't waste time being mad about it. (By the way, remember, being mad and stressed increases cortisol and that makes you FAT!).
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OP you have offered so many helpful, sensible, well thought out pieces of advice to so many on these forums. I know you will find the motivation again, it sounds like you also have a new support system at home so that's good too!
I'm another who finds it helpful to put my thoughts Into words so I can see it all in black and white and not the random firework and sparkly distracted neuron firings of my brain...
The good news is that since you've been successful before you know exactly what you need to do. Good luck!0 -
smotheredincheese wrote: »
And there are so many who say this despite insisting they weigh everything. Mental attitude is the key. If you have the right way, you are more likely to overestimate.
I didn't ask for an opinion as to if I should use a food scale or not. Please take your negativity elsewhere.
i.e. only certain types of response allowed.
Freedom of speech. Negativety just an opinion...
First of all freedom speech doesn't apply on private website.
Second- you were the one who jumped in with food scales are a waste of time. And then continued to badger me about it. You're right, only certain types of responses were welcomed. Ones that were helpful, supportive, and are not so negative.0 -
violetness wrote: »I lost 100 pounds, and then I gained it ALL back, Plus some. I could have killed myself. (Figuratively). Now I am starting again, and I have realized that until I really forgave myself, and did this WITH my body, from a position of love instead of hate and punishment for my body, that I was not going to get anywhere. I would continue this cycle. Now, I want to be fit, and I am really ready to work for it, and keep it off this time. It has to be a complete lifestyle change, not just a diet. So get back up, brush yourself off, forgive yourself for your mistake, and correct it. Don't waste time being mad about it. (By the way, remember, being mad and stressed increases cortisol and that makes you FAT!).
Wow. I really like your mentality and going to try it.WinoGelato wrote: »OP you have offered so many helpful, sensible, well thought out pieces of advice to so many on these forums. I know you will find the motivation again, it sounds like you also have a new support system at home so that's good too!
I'm another who finds it helpful to put my thoughts Into words so I can see it all in black and white and not the random firework and sparkly distracted neuron firings of my brain...
The good news is that since you've been successful before you know exactly what you need to do. Good luck!
I am slowly regaining my motivation which is good. That is very true, now I just have to do it.
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Wow, nasty much? Go troll someone's thread. Stop trying to bait me please.0
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Thank you everyone who was supportive and had kind words. Made me feel significantly better about the whole thing.0
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Had another huge wake up call today. Went to get a bathing suit for the gym. Unfortunately I had to shop in maternity.
trying not to be upset but not being able to pick a bathing suit out of the regular woman's section, but it's still devestating. I never want to have to do that again. I had found a swimsuit in regular woman's that I loved, but even the XL didn't fit. It's sad not being able to fit into something you like. 0 -
Elphie, you've got this. You've lost the weight before, so you definitely have that fight within you.
I was in a similar situation... started at 260 and got down to 170 a couple of years ago thanks to depression, anxiety and stress...and lazyness. One thing lead to another, and I had gained my way to 220lbs. It was hard to push myself back into it, but I am under 180lbs now. I started slow by weighing foods, then moved onto exercising, although, the first time around I did it the opposite way.
You can do this!!! Go kick some butt.
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Weighing food is just a waste of time anyway....
Disagree.
Also....way to be NOT supportive of the OP and her issue.
elphie....you know how to do this, you just stopping doing it. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. It's hard to re-do the hard work you have already done, but I know you can do it. YOU CAN DO IT!
Thank you! Yes I know what worked before so I just need to stop making excuses and do it.thorsmom01 wrote: »Don't be so rough on yourself ! We all have setbacks at times ! Please do not beat yourself up at all !
Just get back to it. You did it once and can do it again ! For me being in a routine helps a lot ! For example - I just weigh my food and go to the gym out of habit now. I do it all without much thought. Its part of my day now. So get yourself back into the routine again ! Once something is part of your daily regiment , its easy to stick to !
I like this saying - fake it until you make it ! You don't have to be perfect . little changes count too ! Just go through the motions even if your not feeling it until it sticks !
Haha, I'm always hard on myself. It's the perfectionist in me. I am trying to just let it go. Easier said than done.I need a listening ear, or two. I am so mad and frustrated with myself. I started this journey at 260lbs in sept 2014. By October 2015, I was down to 190 and was feeling great (was doing the c25k program and was already in the 4 th week). Early September, one of my significant others moved in. He does not have a weight issue so he pretty much eats whatever. Unfortunately I also slipped into eating "whatever" and stopped weighing food (I partially felt embarrassed weight food with them living here). I also got lazy and stopped running. I saw the scale start to go back up, but always found an excuse for why I didn't care. I should have "restarted" weighing my food and what not when I kept seeing the scale increase, but I would always say, well it's just a few lbs, no big deal, I will "restart" tomorrow. Well a few lbs turned into 10, which turned into 20 etc. now I am back at 230 and so annoyed at myself.
Sorry for rant. Typing it all out was kind of my reality check.
I'm hearing a lot of shame in this: ashamed to have gained weight back, ashamed to let someone see you weigh food, ashamed for not working out, ashamed of yourself period. The trouble is, shame is not all that helpful in actually changing behaviour. Instead, you just feel like *kitten*, and worse, that you are a *kitten* person, and of course, *kitten* people don't deserve to treat themselves well or make healthy choices. Shame usually leads to more of the same behaviour that you were originally ashamed of.
Instead, maybe try to see time period in your life this as a source of information for future choices. You learned that weighing food, working out and making different food choices work for you in achieving your goals, and that not doing those things get in the way of your achieving your goals. Sometimes you are going to make choices that support your goals, and sometimes you won't, but it doesn't mean you are a *kitten* person. It means you are a human person with a complicated emotional existence, with goals that sometimes conflict with each other and that health and nutrition are difficult issues to navigate for all of us.
What in the world? I'm assuming "kitten" was supposed to be a different word because that made no sense lol.
Anyway, not so much ashamed as j am mad at myself. And I just find it awkward to weigh food in front of others.
On April 1 the prohibited word filter went from changing prohibited words from ***** to "kitten." As kittens cropping up where they didn't belong were causing confusion, members complained about this in the Forum Feedback thread. Looks like the filter has since been switched back.
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I need a listening ear, or two. I am so mad and frustrated with myself. I started this journey at 260lbs in sept 2014. By October 2015, I was down to 190 and was feeling great (was doing the c25k program and was already in the 4 th week). Early September, one of my significant others moved in. He does not have a weight issue so he pretty much eats whatever. Unfortunately I also slipped into eating "whatever" and stopped weighing food (I partially felt embarrassed weight food with them living here). I also got lazy and stopped running. I saw the scale start to go back up, but always found an excuse for why I didn't care. I should have "restarted" weighing my food and what not when I kept seeing the scale increase, but I would always say, well it's just a few lbs, no big deal, I will "restart" tomorrow. Well a few lbs turned into 10, which turned into 20 etc. now I am back at 230 and so annoyed at myself.
Sorry for rant. Typing it all out was kind of my reality check.
Absolutely no apologies necessary! I agree with what others have said--you're being too hard on yourself! I can definitely relate to the frustration of making choices you regret, but beating yourself up over it isn't going to change the past and undo what happened. We're human--making mistakes is what we do. The good thing is you're really not starting form zero--you know what needs to be done, how to do it and have the past experience to rely on. You're not going to spend the time floundering and figuring things out. How would you respond to someone here who posted something similar? You would be empathetic, encouraging and supportive. Don't you think you deserve the same kindness you'd extend to someone else? I do!
Take it one day at a time. Those days will build up and give you weeks and then months. Be brave--jump back in there! You have this!
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cerise_noir wrote: »Elphie, you've got this. You've lost the weight before, so you definitely have that fight within you.
I was in a similar situation... started at 260 and got down to 170 a couple of years ago thanks to depression, anxiety and stress...and lazyness. One thing lead to another, and I had gained my way to 220lbs. It was hard to push myself back into it, but I am under 180lbs now. I started slow by weighing foods, then moved onto exercising, although, the first time around I did it the opposite way.
You can do this!!! Go kick some butt.cerise_noir wrote: »Elphie, you've got this. You've lost the weight before, so you definitely have that fight within you.
I was in a similar situation... started at 260 and got down to 170 a couple of years ago thanks to depression, anxiety and stress...and lazyness. One thing lead to another, and I had gained my way to 220lbs. It was hard to push myself back into it, but I am under 180lbs now. I started slow by weighing foods, then moved onto exercising, although, the first time around I did it the opposite way.
You can do this!!! Go kick some butt.
Thank you for the encouragement.I need a listening ear, or two. I am so mad and frustrated with myself. I started this journey at 260lbs in sept 2014. By October 2015, I was down to 190 and was feeling great (was doing the c25k program and was already in the 4 th week). Early September, one of my significant others moved in. He does not have a weight issue so he pretty much eats whatever. Unfortunately I also slipped into eating "whatever" and stopped weighing food (I partially felt embarrassed weight food with them living here). I also got lazy and stopped running. I saw the scale start to go back up, but always found an excuse for why I didn't care. I should have "restarted" weighing my food and what not when I kept seeing the scale increase, but I would always say, well it's just a few lbs, no big deal, I will "restart" tomorrow. Well a few lbs turned into 10, which turned into 20 etc. now I am back at 230 and so annoyed at myself.
Sorry for rant. Typing it all out was kind of my reality check.
Absolutely no apologies necessary! I agree with what others have said--you're being too hard on yourself! I can definitely relate to the frustration of making choices you regret, but beating yourself up over it isn't going to change the past and undo what happened. We're human--making mistakes is what we do. The good thing is you're really not starting form zero--you know what needs to be done, how to do it and have the past experience to rely on. You're not going to spend the time floundering and figuring things out. How would you respond to someone here who posted something similar? You would be empathetic, encouraging and supportive. Don't you think you deserve the same kindness you'd extend to someone else? I do!
Take it one day at a time. Those days will build up and give you weeks and then months. Be brave--jump back in there! You have this!
Thank you0 -
I've gained weight during four relationships that I can think of off the top of my head. I naturally eat lower calorie food and am more active when I'm single. My current OH is a keeper so I had to figure out a strategy, which for me is weighing my food and letting him know this helps me succeed in weight loss, and to please give me the little extra time it takes me to get a plate ready.0
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Use this as a learning experience. Pick yourself back up and keep going. You know what to do and how to do it, not you just need to do it.
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kshama2001 wrote: »I've gained weight during four relationships that I can think of off the top of my head. I naturally eat lower calorie food and am more active when I'm single. My current OH is a keeper so I had to figure out a strategy, which for me is weighing my food and letting him know this helps me succeed in weight loss, and to please give me the little extra time it takes me to get a plate ready.
I never gained during previous relationships, but did maintain around 215. After the last break up, shot up to 260. Got it back down to 190 and then my one significant other moved in...I just let things slip too much. He saw me breaking down about it last week which is why we decided to join the club together.0 -
Wow, nasty much? Go troll someone's thread. Stop trying to bait me please.
I just discovered the "ignore" function. I wish this existed in real life!
OP, I think you've gotten a lot of good advice on this thread, and thank you for posting. I think it helps us all recommit when we are supportive of each other this way. For me, weighing EVERYTHING and allowing - even planning for - slip ups or indulgences is what is keeping me on track. Good luck and we're rooting for you.0 -
Wow, nasty much? Go troll someone's thread. Stop trying to bait me please.
I just discovered the "ignore" function. I wish this existed in real life!
OP, I think you've gotten a lot of good advice on this thread, and thank you for posting. I think it helps us all recommit when we are supportive of each other this way. For me, weighing EVERYTHING and allowing - even planning for - slip ups or indulgences is what is keeping me on track. Good luck and we're rooting for you.
Haha an ignore feature or mute button in real life would be awesome!
Thank you !0 -
I need a listening ear, or two. I am so mad and frustrated with myself. I started this journey at 260lbs in sept 2014. By October 2015, I was down to 190 and was feeling great (was doing the c25k program and was already in the 4 th week). Early September, one of my significant others moved in. He does not have a weight issue so he pretty much eats whatever. Unfortunately I also slipped into eating "whatever" and stopped weighing food (I partially felt embarrassed weight food with them living here). I also got lazy and stopped running. I saw the scale start to go back up, but always found an excuse for why I didn't care. I should have "restarted" weighing my food and what not when I kept seeing the scale increase, but I would always say, well it's just a few lbs, no big deal, I will "restart" tomorrow. Well a few lbs turned into 10, which turned into 20 etc. now I am back at 230 and so annoyed at myself.
Sorry for rant. Typing it all out was kind of my reality check.
This is life and things happen to get us off track. But remember with each new meal it's a chance to turn things around and do better and keep doing it with each meal after that meal and so on and so on and you will be on track quick!
And I did the same thing when I started dating my husband four years ago. I was dating again and we would eat out pretty often or eat meals together that I would cook for our families. Before I knew it I had gained 25-30 lbs. It happens!0 -
I weigh my food, and my husband jokes around with it a little, but I know he's just glad that I'm doing something that will make me happy. Your significant other will not make fun of you/make you feel bad/etc for weighing your food, and if they do, they are not a good significant other.
If you trust them enough to let them move in, why not trust them to be in this part of your life as well?0 -
OP, that happen to me also. We did a BIG move from Colorado to Florida, had a lot things going on plus hubby and I are big seafood eaters so we were going out a lot, I will still working out not as much. I gained 13 pounds in a few months time after christmas of 2012, I got my butt back in gear.
Good luck OP you can do it. 0 -
gebeziseva wrote: »
Weighing food is not the same as counting calories. I don't weigh my food but I still count. I just don't need to weigh all my food out. I am good with serving sizes on my own.
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gebeziseva wrote: »
Weighing food is not the same as counting calories. I don't weigh my food but I still count. I just don't need to weigh all my food out. I am good with serving sizes on my own.
I weigh my food so I know exactly how many calories I am eating and have been doing it while I have been losing weight and now maintaining.
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gebeziseva wrote: »
Weighing food is not the same as counting calories. I don't weigh my food but I still count. I just don't need to weigh all my food out. I am good with serving sizes on my own.
I weigh my food so I know exactly how many calories I am eating and have been doing it while I have been losing weight and now maintaining.
I have maintained a 100lbs loss for 10 years without weighing any food while losing or maintaining. I am just here now for fitness. I don't know what the wink was about. I was just pointing out that weighing and counting are not the same thing.
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Can we please not debate food scales? Some people swear by them, others think they arenot needed, and the rest couldn't care less. I really don't want this to turn into a weighing vs not weighing debate.0
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Elphie
Thank you for posting this, and thanks to *ahem* almost everyone for their great responses. I am in the same boat and it's been very helpful to me.
I had lost 50 lbs, and then, back in 2014, when my daughter finishing high school and applying to colleges, I was so focused on her and her efforts that I neglected myself, and weight started slowly creeping up. Then when that was over and she decided which school she was going to, I though, "OK, now I can get going again with my weight loss". Then it became about being simultaneously happy/proud/sad about her leaving for college, using food for both celebration and comfort. Then she left for school and I thought that for sure I would be able to focus on myself, but by then I was too far gone. So here I am, almost two years and twenty pounds later.
This thread has been very helpful and inspiring to me, so thanks again!0 -
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booksandchocolate12 wrote: » Elphie
Thank you for posting this, and thanks to *ahem* almost everyone for their great responses. I am in the same boat and it's been very helpful to me.
I had lost 50 lbs, and then, back in 2014, when my daughter finishing high school and applying to colleges, I was so focused on her and her efforts that I neglected myself, and weight started slowly creeping up. Then when that was over and she decided which school she was going to, I though, "OK, now I can get going again with my weight loss". Then it became about being simultaneously happy/proud/sad about her leaving for college, using food for both celebration and comfort. Then she left for school and I thought that for sure I would be able to focus on myself, but by then I was too far gone. So here I am, almost two years and twenty pounds later.
This thread has been very helpful and inspiring to me, so thanks again!
Glad to hear it's been helpful to you as well. You're welcome.0 -
lllllWeighing food is just a waste of time anyway....
Disagree.
Also....way to be NOT supportive of the OP and her issue.
elphie....you know how to do this, you just stopping doing it. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. It's hard to re-do the hard work you have already done, but I know you can do it. YOU CAN DO IT!
Thank you! Yes I know what worked before so I just need to stop making excuses and do it.thorsmom01 wrote: »Don't be so rough on yourself ! We all have setbacks at times ! Please do not beat yourself up at all !
Just get back to it. You did it once and can do it again ! For me being in a routine helps a lot ! For example - I just weigh my food and go to the gym out of habit now. I do it all without much thought. Its part of my day now. So get yourself back into the routine again ! Once something is part of your daily regiment , its easy to stick to !
I like this saying - fake it until you make it ! You don't have to be perfect . little changes count too ! Just go through the motions even if your not feeling it until it sticks !
Haha, I'm always hard on myself. It's the perfectionist in me. I am trying to just let it go. Easier said than done.I need a listening ear, or two. I am so mad and frustrated with myself. I started this journey at 260lbs in sept 2014. By October 2015, I was down to 190 and was feeling great (was doing the c25k program and was already in the 4 th week). Early September, one of my significant others moved in. He does not have a weight issue so he pretty much eats whatever. Unfortunately I also slipped into eating "whatever" and stopped weighing food (I partially felt embarrassed weight food with them living here). I also got lazy and stopped running. I saw the scale start to go back up, but always found an excuse for why I didn't care. I should have "restarted" weighing my food and what not when I kept seeing the scale increase, but I would always say, well it's just a few lbs, no big deal, I will "restart" tomorrow. Well a few lbs turned into 10, which turned into 20 etc. now I am back at 230 and so annoyed at myself.
Sorry for rant. Typing it all out was kind of my reality check.
I'm hearing a lot of shame in this: ashamed to have gained weight back, ashamed to let someone see you weigh food, ashamed for not working out, ashamed of yourself period. The trouble is, shame is not all that helpful in actually changing behaviour. Instead, you just feel like *kitten*, and worse, that you are a *kitten* person, and of course, *kitten* people don't deserve to treat themselves well or make healthy choices. Shame usually leads to more of the same behaviour that you were originally ashamed of.
Instead, maybe try to see time period in your life this as a source of information for future choices. You learned that weighing food, working out and making different food choices work for you in achieving your goals, and that not doing those things get in the way of your achieving your goals. Sometimes you are going to make choices that support your goals, and sometimes you won't, but it doesn't mean you are a *kitten* person. It means you are a human person with a complicated emotional existence, with goals that sometimes conflict with each other and that health and nutrition are difficult issues to navigate for all of us.
What in the world? I'm assuming "kitten" was supposed to be a different word because that made no sense lol.
Anyway, not so much ashamed as j am mad at myself. k0 -
lllllWeighing food is just a waste of time anyway....
Disagree.
Also....way to be NOT supportive of the OP and her issue.
elphie....you know how to do this, you just stopping doing it. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. It's hard to re-do the hard work you have already done, but I know you can do it. YOU CAN DO IT!
Thank you! Yes I know what worked before so I just need to stop making excuses and do it.thorsmom01 wrote: »Don't be so rough on yourself ! We all have setbacks at times ! Please do not beat yourself up at all !
Just get back to it. You did it once and can do it again ! For me being in a routine helps a lot ! For example - I just weigh my food and go to the gym out of habit now. I do it all without much thought. Its part of my day now. So get yourself back into the routine again ! Once something is part of your daily regiment , its easy to stick to !
I like this saying - fake it until you make it ! You don't have to be perfect . little changes count too ! Just go through the motions even if your not feeling it until it sticks !
Haha, I'm always hard on myself. It's the perfectionist in me. I am trying to just let it go. Easier said than done.I need a listening ear, or two. I am so mad and frustrated with myself. I started this journey at 260lbs in sept 2014. By October 2015, I was down to 190 and was feeling great (was doing the c25k program and was already in the 4 th week). Early September, one of my significant others moved in. He does not have a weight issue so he pretty much eats whatever. Unfortunately I also slipped into eating "whatever" and stopped weighing food (I partially felt embarrassed weight food with them living here). I also got lazy and stopped running. I saw the scale start to go back up, but always found an excuse for why I didn't care. I should have "restarted" weighing my food and what not when I kept seeing the scale increase, but I would always say, well it's just a few lbs, no big deal, I will "restart" tomorrow. Well a few lbs turned into 10, which turned into 20 etc. now I am back at 230 and so annoyed at myself.
Sorry for rant. Typing it all out was kind of my reality check.
I'm hearing a lot of shame in this: ashamed to have gained weight back, ashamed to let someone see you weigh food, ashamed for not working out, ashamed of yourself period. The trouble is, shame is not all that helpful in actually changing behaviour. Instead, you just feel like *kitten*, and worse, that you are a *kitten* person, and of course, *kitten* people don't deserve to treat themselves well or make healthy choices. Shame usually leads to more of the same behaviour that you were originally ashamed of.
Instead, maybe try to see time period in your life this as a source of information for future choices. You learned that weighing food, working out and making different food choices work for you in achieving your goals, and that not doing those things get in the way of your achieving your goals. Sometimes you are going to make choices that support your goals, and sometimes you won't, but it doesn't mean you are a *kitten* person. It means you are a human person with a complicated emotional existence, with goals that sometimes conflict with each other and that health and nutrition are difficult issues to navigate for all of us.
What in the world? I'm assuming "kitten" was supposed to be a different word because that made no sense lol.
Anyway, not so much ashamed as j am mad at myself. k
Huh?!?0
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