How do you deal with being called "FAT"

ari7l

Ever since I was a teenager, I was not overweight but my body frame is kinda wide, i have wider a wider bone structure than most girls. So Ive mostly been called fat all my life, sometimes when I get a comment from certain people, instead of motivating me it just makes it worse for me. Esp when a boyfriend/husband passes a comment like that idk why it hits a women like me so hard.

size102b

A boyfriend / husband ?

jandsstevenson887

I don't allow jerks in my life.

philippakate197

I've been overweight for almost all my adult life but I have never been called fat. And I never will be because I absolutely won't tolerate it. I also won't tolerate being called stupid, ugly or any other shaming insult you can think of. There is no excuse for someone to behave that way towards you, but there are also no excuses for you putting up with it. Hold your head high, walk away from the people who cannot see your real worth, you deserve better.

GreenIceFloes

I've always been a large-framed person. So my reaction is always



Seriously, though, tell them it hurts you. I'm sure they'll stop.

Pascooty

It used to bug me, the word "fat". However, it really is just a descriptive word... and I am fat. I think now it depends on how someone would say it to me. If they intend it to be cruel? Yes, it would bother me. But if it's just used as a harmless description, it doesn't really bother me.

gothomson

There is no excuse for that, especially from someone close to you. "Fat" as a term is just plain insulting and is not designed to motivate you. Frankly I'd say in an assertive way that the term is unacceptable to you as it hurts. If the person has your best interests at heart they'll stop, heck they should apologise or feel sorry too. If not? Get that jerk outta your life you don't need that kinda crap.

koreangurl

If someone calls you fat its just more motivation to lose weight. Turn the experience into a positive one

rsleighty

Yeah, I had a boyfriend who used to try to motivate (control!) me by criticizing my looks/weight. It took years to get over. Today if someone called me fat I would probably respond with something like "I can't believe you just said that. You really are a *kitten*".

Get those people out of your life. NOBODY needs to be talked to like that.

abadvat

Embrace it or do something about it.

snowflake954

I think it's harder at your age. I was always tall and thin with a large bone structure, and blonde to boot so I always felt huge and like a lighthouse walking around. It was impossible to be inconspicuous, and I tried, how I tried. Eventually I just accepted myself--that's the way I am. If someone doesn't like it, that's too bad. That's been such a liberation. You can always better yourself though. Take a look at what you're got and who you are and improve a little here and there. You'll be fine.

zyxst

Nowadays, it's "Yeah, and?" The source of the comment depends on my reaction, too. Very young kids get a pass because they don't have that mouth control yet.

I find that when people use fat as an insult, it's to get a reaction so they can have fun or it's a controlling mechanism.

jennifer_417

No boyfriend or husband should be calling you fat. The problem doesn't lie with you.

MillyMooMummy1994

I got called fat back when i was in school, a memory that stuck is when a girl put her leg next to to mine and said my thigh was about 10× the size of hers. And i just laughed but hurt inside. Wish id had the balls to tell her where to go! You dont need people in your life like that! Let it motivate you rather than put you down. You can lose your weight but people like that will always have an ugly personality xx

tomteboda

My ex-husband told me I was "too fat to *kitten*" . Yes, it really was that vulgar. This occurred 16 years ago and I still cringe when I remember it.

I lost 220 lbs of unwanted weight shortly thereafter and I'm happy to report THAT weight has never returned. Unfortunately I don't have a magic pill to dealing with the scars of that kind of abuse except to say that time and distance are helpful.

trjjoy

Fat is a descriptor. Like tall or short.

lil_lizt

My mum calls me fat every time I see her. I used to be a uk 4-6 when I worked at a stables but I've shot up to a size 14. My mum has been on a starvation diet (literally a bag of crisps and bar of chocolate a day) and for the first time ever she's slimmer than me. She freely admits that she was always jealous of my smaller size so now gloats at me that I'm larger. I try to just ignore it. My boyfriend still assures me I'm beautiful even though I've gained a stone in the year we've been together

VisofSer

I am fat and working to change that. No ones opinion or observation of myself has as much value as my own. I have been fat for a long time, I had a middle aged beer belly since I was 14 so I experienced enough grief that these comments are water off a duck's back. I know what I need to do and why. Anything else is a waste.

Francl27

Kinda curious about the boyfriend/husband thing too. Hopefully he's only the former and it will be easier when you get rid of him.

Rocknut53

Nothing inspires me me more than people saying things to me like my doctor saying "you're borderline obese," my ex telling me, "you're too dumb to go to college." I have this stubborn streak in me that wants to prove them wrong...and it works.

NYRhockey00

Fat comments are usually followed by "Those jokes were funny in kindergarten, you can do better than that"

xtina315

I would drop his booty like a sake of potatoes. When I have been called fat since I became over weight I just say "no sh*** sherlock, I must be blind." I don't get hurt by it, because I'm making strides on getting back to a healthy weight.

mespreeman

ari7l wrote: »

Ever since I was a teenager, I was not overweight but my body frame is kinda wide, i have wider a wider bone structure than most girls. So Ive mostly been called fat all my life, sometimes when I get a comment from certain people, instead of motivating me it just makes it worse for me. Esp when a boyfriend/husband passes a comment like that idk why it hits a women like me so hard.

It's never really bothered me.

It's not like they are telling me something I didn't already know.

scolaris

I'm of two minds on this...
'Fat' should not be bandied about like 'stupid' or any other belittling term in anger or bullying. That's wrong. Don't take it. Walk away from any interaction that devolves to that level.
Unfortunately being over fat, carrying an excess of adipose tissue, is a very real & very prevalent condition that costs billions of dollars to treat in the way of adult onset diabetes, heart conditions, etc. etc. It may be hard to hear from a loved one, but we shouldn't walk around fooling ourselves if we are over fat. Our bodies were not designed to carry 40-50% excess tissue in the form of fat. That's a symptom of over feeding and under moving and should be remedied. Facts are facts. All the feelings in the world can't refute the science of fat.

AskTracyAnnK28

Why would you stay with a boyfriend who calls you names? why would you marry someone like that??

You can always come back with "I may be fat, but you're an *kitten* - and I can diet"

Sandra37405

I am fat. It's not an opinion, it's a fact. I just own it. If I want do something about it I can and should. I'm also short. Big deal.

MissDeeDee78

First of all, hugs to you. Second of all being of larger frame than the women in my family (I take after my dad) I know how you feel. Don't let it get to you, easier said than done, right? It took years for me to appreciate my big wide round rump. Gotta love yourself first, then the rest will follow.

Need2Exerc1se

ari7l wrote: »

Ever since I was a teenager, I was not overweight but my body frame is kinda wide, i have wider a wider bone structure than most girls. So Ive mostly been called fat all my life, sometimes when I get a comment from certain people, instead of motivating me it just makes it worse for me. Esp when a boyfriend/husband passes a comment like that idk why it hits a women like me so hard.

It's hard to tell from this short post but it seems like there might be some denial at play here. Why would anyone call you fat if you are not overweight? And if they did, why would it bother you or 'make it worse' if you are not overweight?

hope516

As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Don't give words power. Don't give someone the power to hurt you. On the same hand if someone is verbally abusive, that is a whole other story to be addressed.

Lastly I would say don't be afraid of the word fat. Its like any other term...tall, short, round, brown....its a descriptive word. If you have excess fat, you are fat. I am fat. The problem comes in because society has lumped in lazy, slob, and other actual NEGATIVE terms with fat. I am none of those other things. I just love food so I am fat. And I am doing something about it. You are here so you are doing something about it. Don't let anyone steal your sparkle!!!

gramarye

Pascooty wrote: »

It used to bug me, the word "fat". However, it really is just a descriptive word... and I am fat. I think now it depends on how someone would say it to me. If they intend it to be cruel? Yes, it would bother me. But if it's just used as a harmless description, it doesn't really bother me.

Yes. Treating fat as a neutral descriptor removes the power from it. I have fat on my body -- especially in my legs and stomach. I am not slim. These are true statements about my body, and have absolutely zero bearing on my value. Getting to that point sucks, especially when you know people say "fat" to be a-holes, but it's a relief when you let it wash over you.

Also: don't let a-holes treat you badly. If you care about them, tell you how it makes you feel. If they don't care about you, then cut them out of your life.

devilwhiterose

"You can fix fat but you can't fix ugly."

Truthfully though, don't tolerate that. If someone doesn't have something nice to say, they shouldn't say anything at all. And they really can't...if they're missing their teeth.