How do you deal with being called "FAT"

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  • Jruzer
    Jruzer Posts: 3,501 Member
    MommyMeggo wrote: »
    Jruzer wrote: »
    MommyMeggo wrote: »
    Jruzer wrote: »
    cnadiger wrote: »
    trjjoy wrote: »
    Fat is a descriptor. Like tall or short.

    Spoken like someone who has never been "fat".

    I was "fat". I'm not any more. The word "fat" is a noun and and an adjective. It is neutral until used by someone in a particular context. It can be used to wound, to heal, or to describe.

    Like a fat piece of cheesecake...or a big fat hug.... those are equally healing.



    I didn't comment about how the words were used. I just said that they could be used in various ways.

    One a few occasions when I was pretty heavy, Mrs Jruzer bluntly discussed the impact to my health about being so fat. It was meant to help. On another occasion a small child splashed me and called me "fat". That was meant to hurt.

    Listen, there's no way in hell I would ever call a woman "fat". For goodness sake I've been married for 19 years and I'm not stupid! But people need to learn not to be delicate, and to be charitable to others. I'm astounded at how many people's first response is "just break up."

    I was just celebrating other ways to use the word fat that gave me the warm fuzzies.
    Guess no one wants to play with me.

    Its because Im fat, isnt it? ;)

    OK, I'll play:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j37XT2d5M3g

  • MommyMeggo
    MommyMeggo Posts: 1,222 Member
    Dude...I love me some fat yeast rolls and a big fat steak just not steak with fat. ;)
  • Khaleesi2012
    Khaleesi2012 Posts: 84 Member
    I ignore it. Someone insulted me this past easter because I was proud to walk in very high heels. This ex-friend of mine said,"Wow I didn't think high heels could support a 280 pound woman!" ...I don't even weigh close to that. I was 220 the beginning of last week. Now I'm 215. I used his attempt at hurting me to anger me and fire me up because I'm tired of the weak crappy attempts. I use my insults as motivation.
  • mamakate2kh
    mamakate2kh Posts: 42 Member
    I'm not fat I'm fluffy..but shoot I'm a "big girl" with an ego that's bigger than my *kitten*..(and I've got a huge *kitten*) I've chose not to let people make me feel down about myself.. Call me fat all you want it's not gonna change how I feel about me.. People that insult you are most likely completely insecure about themselves.. .. You gotta rock what you got and don't change for others CHANGE FOR YOU... From one gorgeous person to another YOU ROCK don't let anyone tell you different!!
  • MommyMeggo
    MommyMeggo Posts: 1,222 Member
    Khaleesi2012 wrote: »
    I ignore it. Someone insulted me this past easter because I was proud to walk in very high heels. This ex-friend of mine said,"Wow I didn't think high heels could support a 280 pound woman!" ...I don't even weigh close to that. I was 220 the beginning of last week. Now I'm 215. I used his attempt at hurting me to anger me and fire me up because I'm tired of the weak crappy attempts. I use my insults as motivation.

    Hell yea!
  • melonaulait
    melonaulait Posts: 769 Member
    Reminding you of your "negatives" isn't exactly motivational. I come from a family where I was always put down for my negatives, especially for being a fat kid. It can be detrimental.
  • kgirlhart
    kgirlhart Posts: 5,185 Member
    ari7l wrote: »
    Ever since I was a teenager, I was not overweight but my body frame is kinda wide, i have wider a wider bone structure than most girls. So Ive mostly been called fat all my life, sometimes when I get a comment from certain people, instead of motivating me it just makes it worse for me. Esp when a boyfriend/husband passes a comment like that idk why it hits a women like me so hard.

    I would not tolerate that from a husband or boyfriend. I don't think I've ever been called fat to my face. Probably have been called that behind my back but not to my face and not by someone who is supposed to love me. I can't imagine being in a relationship with someone that mean long enough to get serious. I would cut that person out of my life.
  • Tofuli
    Tofuli Posts: 79 Member
    How do you deal with it? Dump your boyfriend. Who needs that kind of relationship?
  • sugargrammy45
    sugargrammy45 Posts: 251 Member
    My boyfriend would never call me fat but he does and always has liked a "big" girl, but let me tell you, he has loved me thin and he loves me as I am now. My son is the same way. He never uses the term fat but he likes big women. Both of these men see women for who they are as PEOPLE and not as they are shaped. Now, ignorance is a lack of knowledge and can be corrected by learning. Stupidity can't learn. One who calls you fat but does not mean it as an insult is ignorant. It is up to you (us) to let them know that the term is hurtful. If that person will not stop, he or she refuses to learn and therefore, is really, really stupid. I don't allow stupid to hurt my feelings. In fact, I don't allow ignorance to hurt my feelings. If I don't like what is being said I can either change it or choose not to. If I don't like what is being said and I can't change it, then so be it. It is my choice. It all comes down to whether I do or do not let myself be hurt. Therefore, it is up to me to decide and to be a confident, "big" woman. At this point in my life, the only person who would dare call me fat is me.
  • StealthHealth
    StealthHealth Posts: 2,417 Member
    edited April 2016
    .
  • itsbasschick
    itsbasschick Posts: 1,584 Member
    ari7l wrote: »
    Ever since I was a teenager, I was not overweight but my body frame is kinda wide, i have wider a wider bone structure than most girls. So Ive mostly been called fat all my life, sometimes when I get a comment from certain people, instead of motivating me it just makes it worse for me. Esp when a boyfriend/husband passes a comment like that idk why it hits a women like me so hard.

    only one person ever has called me fat - it was a then-boyfriend during a fight, and he apologized immediately and never said it again.

    some people here say fat is a descriptive term, but it's almost always used as a perjorative when i hear someone say it. and if someone did say it to me - and my family and husband never do or would - i'd have to figure they just wanted to insult me, which would pretty much make me not care. if all someone wants to do is hurt me, nothing they say means anything. btw, some people on this thread feel being called fat can be motivating. i have never wanted to prove myself when someone says something rude to me - i just want to get away from that person.
  • timetochange52
    timetochange52 Posts: 66 Member
    I think that the first person that did that would find out that this fat girl has a sharp tongue, a bad attitude toward ignorance, and little patience. Especially from a boyfriend or husband. I can also pack a suitcase pretty quickly (his/not mine).
  • RavenLibra
    RavenLibra Posts: 1,737 Member
    any word... or words taken out of context can be seen as hurtful, demeaning, derogatory, inflammatory, insightful, meaningful, enlightening, deceitful..etc...etc... etc... fat... so what? this is just another politically correct thing that has gotten way off the track... like "plus size"... plus size was and is an older shall I say establishment phrase that WAS the PC version of fat for as long as I can recall and a descriptor to recognize that "women" come in different size... and now women are taking offense to it to. Words do NOT hurt... hurt is an emotional choice we as individuals decide to make out of convenience or experience... just as we choose to be offended... or we choose to be happy, sad, angry, mad, joyful.

    No one "makes" anyone feel anything...it is and always has been the ONE freedom no one can take away... our right to choose how we feel...of course there are people who will never understand this... as I have written this... there are people choosing to be offended... people choosing to understand it... people who KNOW it... and people who will say that MY attitude is indicative of the problem...

    The Reality is... that YOUR reality is of your design.. and your construction... your world... is as sunny and bright and optimistic as YOU choose it to be.. or it is a dank, dingy grey brooding construct filled with evil and people who are only interested I harming your fragile being...the question isn't... why is fat a bad word... the question is... what are you getting out of seeing fat as a bad word?

    Emu out
  • ShodanPrime
    ShodanPrime Posts: 226 Member
    ari7l wrote: »
    Ever since I was a teenager, I was not overweight but my body frame is kinda wide, i have wider a wider bone structure than most girls. So Ive mostly been called fat all my life, sometimes when I get a comment from certain people, instead of motivating me it just makes it worse for me. Esp when a boyfriend/husband passes a comment like that idk why it hits a women like me so hard.
    ari7l wrote: »
    Ever since I was a teenager, I was not overweight but my body frame is kinda wide, i have wider a wider bone structure than most girls. So Ive mostly been called fat all my life, sometimes when I get a comment from certain people, instead of motivating me it just makes it worse for me. Esp when a boyfriend/husband passes a comment like that idk why it hits a women like me so hard.

    Though shalt build a bridge and go over it.
  • ketorach
    ketorach Posts: 430 Member
    I'm currently 40# overweight and I've never been called fat in my life. I had a guy tell me once, "Your physical conditioning is unacceptable and you need to lose weight." Which was true and much nicer than saying, "You're fat." ;-)
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