Food Addict Looking for Support

MRBDDB

Dargrohm wrote: »

I could write a novel on just my issues with food, let alone my anxiety disorders. I've been trying, and failing, for well over a year now to lose weight and have had virtually zero success. I need to be held accountable. I have big issues with food, going all the way back to childhood, and I'm fighting like crazy right now to get this weight off of me. I've been miserable in my own skin for so long, and I'm tired of it. I've been yo-yo dieting for over a year now, and I'm so frustrated with everything. I've decided to get back on here and try to stick to 1200 calories every day. I'm 5'1", and I weigh 163 pounds right now. My ultimate goal is 110-115 pounds, but for now, I'm aiming for 130 (so my BMI will be in the normal range again). The trouble is, my self-esteem is rock-bottom, and I don't even like myself. I just need to be held accountable. My biggest issue right now is my addiction to fast food. It's more of an emotional attachment than anything. All my life, I have learned to associate fast food with happiness and comfort, and now I'm in a heck of a mess. It's honestly embarrassing... I'm trying to abstain from fast food/restaurants completely, because I literally can't control myself around it. One restaurant meal, and I am off track for weeks, and that's not an exaggeration. It's an addiction for me. I feel like I need it to be happy. Fast food isn't the only problem, though. I binge at home, too. I think it's a control issue. I tell myself I don't want to go over my calorie limit, and then I go stuff my face to the point of nausea, almost like I'm rebelling. I keep sabotaging my own efforts, and I don't know why I keep doing it. I know I need help, and I'm in the process of getting it. I'm back on my anti-anxiety/anti-depression medication, and I'm going to start therapy soon. In the meantime, however, I'm going to go completely against my stubborn, hermit nature and ask for support in this effort from the mfp community. I've tried countless times to go it alone, and I'm still at step one... I need help. I think I'll go now and make my diary public, to help feel more accountable for my actions.

This post really spoke to me. I too am around your height and current weight. I've been in therapy the last 10 years, discovery 8 years ago I was addicted to food. I've had a hard childhood with a lot of loss in my life and looking back food became my friend at a very young child. My therapist turned out to also struggle with food addiction and recommended Overeaters Anonymous. I went to meetings off and on for probably 2 years. Sadly I can't say I got anything out of it but I didn't really work the program. Food addiction is no different that any other addiction. It's filling an inside void with outside stuff. It's been hard because my husband doesn't get any kind of addiction especially to food. To him he thinks just don't eat it. Like so many others I have also been addicted to McDonald's since a young child. I am now 42 so that's a lot of years eating that junk. I would eat it every day for lunch and sometimes even in the evenings, always going through the drive through and always throwing away all the evidence before I got home. It's been over 30 days since I last had it and it hasn't been as hard as I thought. My last meal there I felt so sick. I feel like something has shifted in me with my eating. I pray it's lasting. I did Atkins over 10 years ago losing 55 lbs but at the time had no idea I had an addiction. It was the hardest thing I ever did for myself and here I am 10 years later and I'm back up to almost my heaviest. A lot wiser now however about myself. I'm really working on trying to love myself which I've never known how to do. It's a struggle and a process but I am determined this time to beat this demon. Thanks again for sharing.

Livematthew25

Dargrohm wrote: »

I could write a novel on just my issues with food, let alone my anxiety disorders. I've been trying, and failing, for well over a year now to lose weight and have had virtually zero success. I need to be held accountable. I have big issues with food, going all the way back to childhood, and I'm fighting like crazy right now to get this weight off of me. I've been miserable in my own skin for so long, and I'm tired of it. I've been yo-yo dieting for over a year now, and I'm so frustrated with everything. I've decided to get back on here and try to stick to 1200 calories every day. I'm 5'1", and I weigh 163 pounds right now. My ultimate goal is 110-115 pounds, but for now, I'm aiming for 130 (so my BMI will be in the normal range again). The trouble is, my self-esteem is rock-bottom, and I don't even like myself. I just need to be held accountable. My biggest issue right now is my addiction to fast food. It's more of an emotional attachment than anything. All my life, I have learned to associate fast food with happiness and comfort, and now I'm in a heck of a mess. It's honestly embarrassing... I'm trying to abstain from fast food/restaurants completely, because I literally can't control myself around it. One restaurant meal, and I am off track for weeks, and that's not an exaggeration. It's an addiction for me. I feel like I need it to be happy. Fast food isn't the only problem, though. I binge at home, too. I think it's a control issue. I tell myself I don't want to go over my calorie limit, and then I go stuff my face to the point of nausea, almost like I'm rebelling. I keep sabotaging my own efforts, and I don't know why I keep doing it. I know I need help, and I'm in the process of getting it. I'm back on my anti-anxiety/anti-depression medication, and I'm going to start therapy soon. In the meantime, however, I'm going to go completely against my stubborn, hermit nature and ask for support in this effort from the mfp community. I've tried countless times to go it alone, and I'm still at step one... I need help. I think I'll go now and make my diary public, to help feel more accountable for my actions.

I love fast food. I will never stop eating it. I have changed what I eat there, how much and how often. And my goal weight is 164. You may have to compromise with yourself if you don't want to fail. 1200 calories is tough. I've upped mine tp 1400 for now. Don't have too many rules. Like you have to eat 1200 and quit fast food entirely. The rules is what leads me to failure every time. I'm always doing whatever I want and getting super fat or I'm on a program with 10,000 rules. I am finding my success on middle ground. I'll add anyone who asks.