Women & Bodybuilding

KeepingUpWithKari
KeepingUpWithKari Posts: 287 Member
I disclosed my goal of bodybuilding once I'm closer to goal weight with my husband the other day..

And my brother in law laughed at me and said "eww you're gonna look like a man"

And..

My hubby looked at me and said "you can't do that" and gave me a disgusted look..

Made me think, what if my goal is unrealistic? What if I'm in over my head? :(

A little background, I'm 5'4. 24. And I have a 100 pounds to lose give or take. I may readjust my goals the closer I get.
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Replies

  • jsecret
    jsecret Posts: 606 Member
    Are you going for full out bodybuilding or looking more into physique? All-in-all those girls work their*kitten* off (literally) and have amazing dedication on a level most people can't even imagine. *kitten* the people who make comments, let's see them have that level or strength, or push that hard for their goal EVER. Just take it little by little and you'll do great!

    I spent a weekend last year at warhouse gym (home of Dana Linn Bailey and her husband Rob) most amazing weekend ever. Those are people you should look into if you haven't already, they are so much more than bodybuilding. They are people who started from nothing, screenprinting t-shirts from their garage, and turned themselves into not only athletic idols, but now have a small race team, their own gym, a full clothing line, the new supplements company, Rob's music.

    Quit letting people get inside your head and tell you that you can't do something.
  • mom23mangos
    mom23mangos Posts: 3,069 Member
    Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but I don't think the poster's husband was saying she 'couldn't' ever become a bodybuilder, but that he wouldn't want her to look like that. If he was, then by all means tell his to shove it and prove him wrong.

    If he was concerned about you looking like a man, I think that's a valid concern of a husband. While yes, our partner's should be love us no matter what we look like, there are just some things people don't find attractive. Some men may find large muscles and little body fat on a woman sexy. Others think soft curves and something to hold on to is most attractive. You have to walk a line between feeling comfortable in your own skin and remaining respectful to the wishes of the person you pledged to share the rest of your life with.

    As far as your goals being unrealistic, no I don't think they are. You can achieve anything you put your mind to. You just have to determine if the sacrifices are worth it. That's how life works.

    Best of luck to you! And again, I really hope your husband wasn't being a total douche.
  • KeepingUpWithKari
    KeepingUpWithKari Posts: 287 Member
    Thanks... I think women that bodybuild look :o so good. IMO.
    jsecret wrote: »
    Are you going for full out bodybuilding or looking more into physique? All-in-all those girls work their*kitten* off (literally) and have amazing dedication on a level most people can't even imagine. *kitten* the people who make comments, let's see them have that level or strength, or push that hard for their goal EVER. Just take it little by little and you'll do great!


    Quit letting people get inside your head and tell you that you can't do something.

    For now physique, but the possibilities are endless. I'm really interested in it.

    Since I was 12, I gained and lost weight. But always have been overweight until now. Sadly, I'm obese. I don't want to live this lifestyle. I've always believed my inner critic and listened to everyone's negative outlook on MY goals and life.

    My goal for the next 3 years is to get in Law Enforcement. But I do have big POSSIBLE goals and thats to live healthy, fit, and lift heavy. I want to see my bidy transition from Obese to Beast. Seriously. I have the motivation and love for it.

    I've started on my journey already and I love how I'm changing. I have lots to learn and I'm okay with that. I'm okay with "no end" to my journey. I don't want to go back to my habits.

    And I'll look them up thank you!

  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
    Just make sure you use light weights so you don't bulk up too much
  • KeepingUpWithKari
    KeepingUpWithKari Posts: 287 Member
    Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but I don't think the poster's husband was saying she 'couldn't' ever become a bodybuilder, but that he wouldn't want her to look like that. If he was, then by all means tell his to shove it and prove him wrong.

    If he was concerned about you looking like a man, I think that's a valid concern of a husband. While yes, our partner's should be love us no matter what we look like, there are just some things people don't find attractive. Some men may find large muscles and little body fat on a woman sexy. Others think soft curves and something to hold on to is most attractive. You have to walk a line between feeling comfortable in your own skin and remaining respectful to the wishes of the person you pledged to share the rest of your life with.

    As far as your goals being unrealistic, no I don't think they are. You can achieve anything you put your mind to. You just have to determine if the sacrifices are worth it. That's how life works.

    Best of luck to you! And again, I really hope your husband wasn't being a total douche.

    I'm not sure what he meant because as soon as I put him in his place. He says that thats not how he meant it but never clarified to what he meant exactly.

    And I know what you mean by what our preferences are. However I'm his wife not a candidate for a girlfriend. If he accepted me being 170 with the soft curves and now 246.2 with nasty curves. Then IMO he should accept my very POSITiVE goals. I accept him no matter what and thats unconditional love.

    I'll sacrifice my relationship for my fitness goals. Its the first time in my life that I'm putting me first.. And its about time.

    I know you may disagree and I hope that you don't take this wrong.. But its my opinion.. And thank you for your response.
  • Iguessicandothis
    Iguessicandothis Posts: 2,132 Member
    I absolutely agree that it's your body, and if your choices are healthy, do what makes you feel happy and beautiful!
  • debmom2boyz
    debmom2boyz Posts: 86 Member
    edited April 2016
    I disclosed my goal of bodybuilding once I'm closer to goal weight with my husband the other day..

    And my brother in law laughed at me and said "eww you're gonna look like a man"

    And..

    My hubby looked at me and said "you can't do that" and gave me a disgusted look..

    Made me think, what if my goal is unrealistic? What if I'm in over my head? :(

    A little background, I'm 5'4. 24. And I have a 100 pounds to lose give or take. I may readjust my goals the closer I get.

    I just bought a weight bench with a barbell and weights. I am starting tonight! I have about 100 to lose. You do what you need to do for you! Feel free to add me! I know it can be hard.

    *edit to clarify* I'm going to lift weights for health benefits--not to be a bodybuilder/competitive etc. I have a goal of being a fitness instructor/mentor (aquatic) once I reach and maintain my goal.


  • KeepingUpWithKari
    KeepingUpWithKari Posts: 287 Member
    Thanks everyone for all the positive responses.
  • kimdawnhayden
    kimdawnhayden Posts: 298 Member
    When I lifted really heavy. I could deadlift more than my body weight. I was 5"4", 135 #'s, and a size 4. There was nothing gross about it. I had muscle, but I still looked very feminine. Lift heavy, eat right and you will get good results. You won't get that manly look unless you do steroids. If you can find an older book called "New Rules of Lifting" or "New Rules of Lifting for Women" by Alywn Cosgrove, they are great resources. The first one they put out was geared towards men, but so many women did the program and got great results they put out the second one. The one for women will clearly lay out what you need to do and eat to get the results you want. I've done both and they are awesome. Good luck!
  • saragd012
    saragd012 Posts: 693 Member
    You will NOT look like a man, even lifting heavy weights is unlikely to cause you to "bulk" (unless you are taking supplements/estrogen-blockers). Personally I bust my *kitten* trying to build more muscle and its been slooooow progress, you've got this, I dont think your plan sounds unreasonable at all.
  • lesleyloo7879
    lesleyloo7879 Posts: 439 Member
    Women + Bodybuilding = One Hot body that belongs to a strong beautiful woman!!!!! Tell the BIL to shove it (does he lift?) You do your thing and be your best!!!!!
  • TheBigFb
    TheBigFb Posts: 649 Member
    I just think they shouldnt do it. No place for a woman
  • PHS7
    PHS7 Posts: 213 Member
    People who say women should not lift have never, ever, been around women who lift and look fantastic. Sometimes ignorance is just that. . .ignorance. Go for it, be the best you can be, and blow your husband's mind and tell the brother-in-law to just blow. . .away.
  • RebeccaNaegle
    RebeccaNaegle Posts: 236 Member
    You can do it!! I am doing it! I love the whole journey and LOVE weight lifting/body building. You should consider reading Thinner Leaner Stronger by Mike Matthews. He wrote a book for women who want to lose fat and build muscle. It has worked wonders for me. He gets down to the nitty gritty, dumbs it down for us regular girls, and takes the BS out. You would love it!
  • Jams009
    Jams009 Posts: 345 Member
    _Waffle_ wrote: »
    Just make sure you use light weights so you don't bulk up too much


    It doesn't work like that...


    OP; would you be wanting to compete? Or just look nice? Do you know about the different categories and stuff?
    Physique would be difficult to acquire naturally, but a bikini category body would be possible (with a lot of work).

    Your hubbies reaction could just because he has some misconceptions about what bodybuilding is and thought you were going to turn into a bulging mass monster overnight. That simply isn't possible for women without a tonne of drugs, and a ridiculous amount of training and dedication.




  • shadow2soul
    shadow2soul Posts: 7,692 Member
    Jams009 wrote: »
    _Waffle_ wrote: »
    Just make sure you use light weights so you don't bulk up too much


    It doesn't work like that...




    @Jams009 - I'm pretty sure that's a joke.
  • attyscott10
    attyscott10 Posts: 1 Member
    I commend you on having a goal and pursuing it! Women that train (and possibly compete) are some of the most sexy women out there, IMO; not just because of their physical appearance but because of the drive and commitment they possess. Begin your training process, set incremental goals for yourself, re-assess periodically and just watch the magical transformation occur. You may find that you want to compete or you may just enjoy having that appearance. He will continue to love you, possibly even more from the added confidence (not saying you are not confident now) that comes from such a vast transformation in your physique. Stay Uplifted!
  • branflakes1980
    branflakes1980 Posts: 2,516 Member
    I commend you on having a goal and pursuing it! Women that train (and possibly compete) are some of the most sexy women out there, IMO; not just because of their physical appearance but because of the drive and commitment they possess. Begin your training process, set incremental goals for yourself, re-assess periodically and just watch the magical transformation occur. You may find that you want to compete or you may just enjoy having that appearance. He will continue to love you, possibly even more from the added confidence (not saying you are not confident now) that comes from such a vast transformation in your physique. Stay Uplifted!

    Very strong first post.. For real. :flowerforyou:
  • TheBigFb
    TheBigFb Posts: 649 Member
    Jams009 wrote: »
    TheBigFb wrote: »
    I just think they shouldnt do it. No place for a woman

    Dude...

    Blocking up the gym as well like. Curling in the squat rack or something like that
  • lesleyloo7879
    lesleyloo7879 Posts: 439 Member
    usmcmp wrote: »
    I am a competitive bodybuilder. I compete in natural competitions (I don't use steroids) in women's heavyweight. These two pictures were taken a few weeks apart:
    IMG_20131010_202918_zpsa692fb22.jpg
    20130309_163710_zps6a8f333e.jpg

    I only look big when I flex and I'm super lean. When I'm not flexing I don't look very big. You don't have to compete in the actual bodybuilding category because there are multiple categories you can choose from (these are natural competitors):
    http://www.ngaidaho.com/whats-the-difference-womens-bodybuilding-figure-and-bikini/

    You are like seriously my hero...... this former Squid will get there!!!
  • KeepingUpWithKari
    KeepingUpWithKari Posts: 287 Member
    I commend you on having a goal and pursuing it! Women that train (and possibly compete) are some of the most sexy women out there, IMO; not just because of their physical appearance but because of the drive and commitment they possess. Begin your training process, set incremental goals for yourself, re-assess periodically and just watch the magical transformation occur. You may find that you want to compete or you may just enjoy having that appearance. He will continue to love you, possibly even more from the added confidence (not saying you are not confident now) that comes from such a vast transformation in your physique. Stay Uplifted!

    Thats why I want to get into bodybuilding. Its further than just the appearance. I want it for the strength that you gain in and out. Thank you so much for the VERY positive post.

    I will stay uplifted. :)<3
  • KeepingUpWithKari
    KeepingUpWithKari Posts: 287 Member
    Timshel_ wrote: »
    And my brother in law laughed at me and said "eww you're gonna look like a man"

    My response to guys who says that all women who lift will look like a man is, "you're supposed to be a man and you don't look like that, sooooo..."

    Thanks, I <3 you for this. And will be using it on the next mofo..