Any good jokes?

Options
Amanda_0707
Amanda_0707 Posts: 103 Member
in Chit-Chat
Seriously this Tuesday is a repeat Monday
«134

Replies

  • kevin3676
    kevin3676 Posts: 40 Member
    Options
    Why does a mermaid wear seashells?



    She grew out of her b shells!
    I know, corny lol
  • Amanda_0707
    Amanda_0707 Posts: 103 Member
    Options
    kevin3676 wrote: »
    Why does a mermaid wear seashells?



    She grew out of her b shells!
    I know, corny lol

    Omgahsh i love this joke
  • kevin3676
    kevin3676 Posts: 40 Member
    Options
    Haha nice!
  • kevin3676
    kevin3676 Posts: 40 Member
    Options
    No one else!?
  • Amanda_0707
    Amanda_0707 Posts: 103 Member
    Options
    kevin3676 wrote: »
    No one else!?

    I guess not
  • _incogNEATo_
    _incogNEATo_ Posts: 4,537 Member
    Options
    Knock knock.

    Let's have sex.
  • huntersvonnegut
    huntersvonnegut Posts: 1,177 Member
    Options
    A woman goes up to the counter at the hardware store and asks the clerk where the batteries are. Intending to show the woman where they are he wiggles his finger and says, "Come this way." "The woman says, "If I could come that way I wouldn't need the batteries."
  • huntersvonnegut
    huntersvonnegut Posts: 1,177 Member
    Options
    How many men does it take to tile a bathroom? One, but you have to slice him thin.
  • Amanda_0707
    Amanda_0707 Posts: 103 Member
    Options
    huntersvonnegut wrote: »
    A woman goes up to the counter at the hardware store and asks the clerk where the batteries are. Intending to show the woman where they are he wiggles his finger and says, "Come this way." "The woman says, "If I could come that way I wouldn't need the batteries."

    Hahahah ewww
  • Amanda_0707
    Amanda_0707 Posts: 103 Member
    Options
    _incogNEATo_ wrote: »
    Knock knock.

    Let's have sex.

    Omgahd i laughed so loud just now
  • mweckler
    mweckler Posts: 623 Member
    Options
    Two men walk into a bar... the third one ducks.
  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
    Options
    What did the left saggy boob say to the right saggy boob?


    "We better get some support around here or people will think we're nuts!" :smiley:

    I hope your day gets better.
  • Amanda_0707
    Amanda_0707 Posts: 103 Member
    Options
    littlehearsedriver wrote: »
    What did the left saggy boob say to the right saggy boob?


    "We better get some support around here or people will think we're nuts!" :smiley:

    I hope your day gets better.

  • Amanda_0707
    Amanda_0707 Posts: 103 Member
    Options
    dcgirlie01 wrote: »
    littlehearsedriver wrote: »
    What did the left saggy boob say to the right saggy boob?


    "We better get some support around here or people will think we're nuts!" :smiley:

    I hope your day gets better.

    So funny cant ever forget this
  • _incogNEATo_
    _incogNEATo_ Posts: 4,537 Member
    Options
    dcgirlie01 wrote: »
    _incogNEATo_ wrote: »
    Knock knock.

    Let's have sex.

    Omgahd i laughed so loud just now

    But.... I was not telling a joke.
  • actualbettycrocker
    actualbettycrocker Posts: 195 Member
    Options
    I got one.

    My life. :o
  • swbenbow
    swbenbow Posts: 87 Member
    Options
    Two fish in a tank

    One says to the other ...

    "How do you drive this thing?"
  • martyqueen52
    martyqueen52 Posts: 1,120 Member
    Options
    A cop is behind a vehicle for some time, and notices this person keeps on doing "rolling stops", so he pulls the car over.

    Officer approaches car, asks guy "sir, is there a reason you keep on doing rolling stops at stop signs?" The guy responds "yea man, it's all the same anyhow". They continue to argue the differences for a minute.

    Finally the officer gets irritated when the guy gets aggressive and raises his tone and says, "listen man, it's all the same, I slowed down by the stop sign!!".

    Officer pulls out his baton and starts wailing on the guy. The guy goes "WTF man stop!!!". Officer responds with... "Are you sure you want me to stop... or slow down!?"

    Thought this was a riot when I heard it, being a LEO.

Categories