People who mean well but actually don't
tamaraworrall
Posts: 166 Member
Does anyone else get annoyed with friends and family who think they mean well with advice but it actually puts your defenses up and has the reverse effect?
I love how I look and I enjoy what I eat and trying to up my calories and eat more which is a work in progress.
But one friend keeps telling me to put weight on to a size 10 etc etc.
I love how I look and I enjoy what I eat and trying to up my calories and eat more which is a work in progress.
But one friend keeps telling me to put weight on to a size 10 etc etc.
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Replies
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People will always have an opinion which is usually rooted within their own insecurities. Perhaps your friend wishes she shared your motivation? If you're happy and healthy then keep on trucking!2
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Mine is coworkers. Some have snide remarks like "oh, are you trying to lose weight" after I had lost considerable amount that was visible to everyone else. They also bring the constant pastries, home baked sweet breads and cookies, and FINALLY after a year and a half of saying "no thanks, I don't want to eat that"", they have stopped trying to get me to take just one it won't hurt".
My biggest peeve is facebook friends that are trying to give others advice and it's about wraps, pills and gimmicks. If I could reach through the computer and slap some DA I would enjoy it thoroughly!!10 -
I think it depends...if someone is genuinely underweight for instance they do mean well. And liking how we look isn't necessarily an indicator of being at a healthy weight or not.
That said, for some of those who are use to seeing us a lot heavier they may just need to time to adjust to a slimmer us. I don't think everyone's comments are rooted with their own insecurities, some concerns may well be justified or just a case of getting use to the slimmer version.
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OP based on your avatar, and assuming your diary is even half accurate, I would not dismish your friends concern and would seek professional help. Good luck.9
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Your friends may be telling you the truth.1
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They may love you and be concerned. But it IS your body.0
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OP based on your avatar, and assuming your diary is even half accurate, I would not dismish your friends concern and would seek professional help. Good luck.
I agree with this. 900 calories is way too much of a deficit. And you imply that you are trying to put on some weight, which means, no matter what your height, you should be eating a lot more. Your friends are probably worried about your health. If you are in the UK, a size 10 is fairly slim, so it's not like your friend is advocating an outrageous size. Being severely underweight and chronically under-eating causes a ton of serious long-term damage to your body, including brain damage. You should speak to a nutritionist and a therapist who specializes in disordered eating.2 -
tamaraworrall wrote: »Does anyone else get annoyed with friends and family who think they mean well with advice but it actually puts your defenses up and has the reverse effect?
I love how I look and I enjoy what I eat and trying to up my calories and eat more which is a work in progress.
But one friend keeps telling me to put weight on to a size 10 etc etc.
Perhaps you could cut back on all those different types of cardio you do in a day?0 -
I am cutting back on cardio but I enjoy what I do and what I eat plus the exercise allows me to have more food if I want to.
I'm listening to my body and I'm perfectly healthy .my face was thin when I was a few stone heavier but I'm the right weight for my height and I'm focusing on maintaining and upping calories now0 -
OP seek professional help.-1
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To be fair, the exercise calories are very overestimated, but even so there's no need for that level of exercise on 1500 cals.
saying 'exercise allows me to eat more' is a massive red flag in this situation.4 -
I'm eating loads,I eat healthy,I exercise and going from what I used to be like is a big change .
I enjoy my food and I'm working on the next stage of my journey .
I'm the correct weight for my height as well.1 -
tamaraworrall wrote: »I'm eating loads,I eat healthy,I exercise and going from what I used to be like is a big change .
I enjoy my food and I'm working on the next stage of my journey .
I'm the correct weight for my height as well.
You're not eating 'loads' by any stretch of the imagination.1 -
I just looked at your diary, you are not eating loads of food. You are on a slippery slope and I think your friends have real concerns.4
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TavistockToad wrote: »tamaraworrall wrote: »I'm eating loads,I eat healthy,I exercise and going from what I used to be like is a big change .
I enjoy my food and I'm working on the next stage of my journey .
I'm the correct weight for my height as well.
You're not eating 'loads' by any stretch of the imagination.
Agree.3 -
It's one friend and she said the same to me when i was 3 stone heavier.i appreciate the advice thank you0
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You said friends and family.0
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tamaraworrall wrote: »It's one friend and she said the same to me when i was 3 stone heavier.i appreciate the advice thank you
But now it sounds like she's right.0 -
I mistyped as was in a rush writing .the joys of kids ha0
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tamaraworrall wrote: »I mistyped as was in a rush writing .the joys of kids ha
What did you mean to type instead of 'friends and family'?
It's scary admitting you need help OP, but you need to get healthy.1 -
Diary is now private.
OP, maybe some quality time with your concerned loved ones could be helpful. Sometimes they see things in us we're not willing to admit.
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I've not made my diary private so I'm a bit confused as to how that's happened.i spend lots of time with my family and friends .I just meant to put friend0
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OP--I never say this, but I'm worried too. If you're logging correctly you're below 1000 cals alot of days. Your picture shows this also. Please see a professional ASAP. If they say you are healthy, excuse my concern, if not, you might just save your life.1
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I don't log everything though like most people do0
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tamaraworrall wrote: »I don't log everything though like most people do
Would you mind posting your stats?0 -
tamaraworrall wrote: »I am cutting back on cardio but I enjoy what I do and what I eat plus the exercise allows me to have more food if I want to.
I'm listening to my body and I'm perfectly healthy .my face was thin when I was a few stone heavier but I'm the right weight for my height and I'm focusing on maintaining and upping calories now
I usually do not post any comments in this kind of postings but I suggest that you double check the calories burned listed in your exercise diary. There is no way to burn 300 calories in a 60 minutes Pilates class or burn 1000 calories doing Zumba. No way Jose. You are actually kidding yourself!
If you are exercising to be able to eat more, you are not doing that either, so what is going on? If I were your friend, I would be worried about you too.1 -
That's what I googled for them when I first started the classes .
I'm 5 foot 3 and a half and 8 stone and 1 lbs as of last Wednesday .
I never eat my exercise calories back anyway0 -
You need to eat your calories back0
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tamaraworrall wrote: »That's what I googled for them when I first started the classes .
I'm 5 foot 3 and a half and 8 stone and 1 lbs as of last Wednesday .
I never eat my exercise calories back anyway
You claim you exercise to be able to eat more but now you say you don't eat any exercise cals back?0
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