So this guy stares at me at gym....

Sheks41191
Sheks41191 Posts: 90 Member
edited December 1 in Chit-Chat
I can't believe I am actually posting this :|

This is probably going to draw laughs but i'm socially awkward and suffer anxiety in social situations sometimes.

I have been going to the gym since January, since I started I have lost 20+ pounds. I mention that because I think as I'm becoming more confident it's now plausible for me to believe someone may be interested in me.

Within the past week, I've noticed this guy staring at me. I can't figure out why?

I was doing sprints and could see him obviously staring at me while I rested between sets. His friend got on the treadmill close to mine, he came over and they stood behind me (couldn't tell if he was looking at me then - :D) so awkward.

Two things:

A. Why is he looking at me?

B. I think I like him (no I'm not approaching him), any way to get him to come to me - if the conclusion we come to is that he might like me.

T.I.A
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Replies

  • sparklyglitterbomb
    sparklyglitterbomb Posts: 458 Member
    edited April 2016
    He may think you're interesting... and maybe smile at him once in a while, might give him the signal you're open to talking to him. :)
  • Keladelphia
    Keladelphia Posts: 820 Member
    A.) If he and his friend came behind you as you're running on the treadmill it's probably because he's staring at datAs$

    B.) You could fake struggle or something in hopes that captain superman comes over and saves the day. My personal approach however would just be to walk by make eye contact and say "hey hows it going" with a genuine smile as you walk by. I wouldn't really call this approaching him but it could open up the window to chat if that's what he is looking to do.
  • Big_YEET
    Big_YEET Posts: 152 Member
    90% of the time when a guy looks at you for longer than 5 seconds it's because he finds you attractive. Next time he does it, just look back at him, catch his eye and smile.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Sheks41191 wrote: »
    A. Why is he looking at me?

    You're really attractive.

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  • MsAmandaNJ
    MsAmandaNJ Posts: 1,248 Member
    Give him a smile or a little "come on over" wave. He might be trying to muster up the courage to talk to you, letting him know you're open to that might be all he needs to approach.
  • synchkat
    synchkat Posts: 37,368 Member
    Hello woman you are super pretty no wonder he's staring at you he's probably tying to figure out if he has a chance should he approach you.

    Give a smile and a little wave to him. Or if you walk by him smile and say hi.

    Guys stare. I've got a guy at the rink recently who stands at the window staring but I've decided it's cause I'm a beautiful skater and he's checking out my skills
  • dym123
    dym123 Posts: 1,670 Member
    Say "Hi"
  • yusaku02
    yusaku02 Posts: 3,472 Member
    synchkat wrote: »
    Guys stare. I've got a guy at the rink recently who stands at the window staring but I've decided it's cause I'm a beautiful skater and he's checking out my skills
    Honestly it could be something like this. If I'm watching someone in the gym it's likely because I'm looking at their deadlift/squat form. Sometimes if I see someone doing an unusual exercise I'll watch and figure out which muscle groups they're hitting and if it's something I would want to try.

    Either way, if you like him too then catch his eye and smile. He's probably just as terrified of approaching you as you are of him, so make it easy for him. You could ask him to spot you for an exercise too.
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  • glassyo
    glassyo Posts: 7,760 Member
    I'm glad I don't get stared it. It's starting to sound kinda creepy. :p

    But yeah, OP, smile at the guy to encourage him to make the first move since you don't want to be the one to do it.

  • Sheks41191
    Sheks41191 Posts: 90 Member
    Thanks everyone.... I think this is just my social anxiety making itself known. I'll try give him a smile and see what happens. Knowing me it'll look like a grimace lmao :s:s:s:s
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  • xmichaelyx
    xmichaelyx Posts: 883 Member
    All I ever wanted at the gym was to be left alone. Things like this are why I built a home gym.
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
    Sheks41191 wrote: »
    Thanks everyone.... I think this is just my social anxiety making itself known. I'll try give him a smile and see what happens. Knowing me it'll look like a grimace lmao :s:s:s:s

    You are beautiful. Have confidence and give him that smile. Some men don't like rejection and are just as shy. Had I not made it known that I was interested in my husband we would have never met and been married for 27 yrs.

  • Sheks41191
    Sheks41191 Posts: 90 Member
    xmichaelyx wrote: »
    All I ever wanted at the gym was to be left alone. Things like this are why I built a home gym.

    Note that I did not say, I am stalking someone, this is someone who has been staring at me, only realised since it's been relatively obvious that I may like him.

    This is not a Single White (Black in my case) Female remake
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  • Montepulciano
    Montepulciano Posts: 845 Member
    I am expecting updates..let us know how the smile works! :)
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  • RavenLibra
    RavenLibra Posts: 1,737 Member
    I say... find another gym where you can work out wihtouth the social pressure :)
  • FunbagsMcGee
    FunbagsMcGee Posts: 36 Member
    i said a bang bang bangity bang
  • glassyo
    glassyo Posts: 7,760 Member
    There's absolutely nothing wrong with a woman making the first move. It was the OP who said she didn't want to.
  • saramickeydee
    saramickeydee Posts: 115 Member
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    If he is interested enough he 'll let you know. It's not your job to make the first move so don't. Until he begins to chat with you and extends an invitation to have coffee, don't allow it to occupy your thoughts too much.

    Why can't or shouldn't the woman make the first move? It's 2016.

    Because it makes a 2016 gal look too eager, and consequently, she'll appear vulnerable or, ahem, a tad too easy. It will probably give him psychological leverage within the budding dynamics of their relationship - leverage she'd be wise to reserve for herself until she understands his character and his intentions.

    Meh, I knew this gal once who made the first move...we're married now for going on 11 years...16 years together total...so way back in 2000 this was fine.

    Srsly, what century do you live in?

    18 1/2 years married and I made the first move. 21 years together. So way back in 1995 this was fine.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    glassyo wrote: »
    There's absolutely nothing wrong with a woman making the first move. It was the OP who said she didn't want to.

    I was responding to another poster who said she shouldn't regardless...reading skillzzz
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    If he is interested enough he 'll let you know. It's not your job to make the first move so don't. Until he begins to chat with you and extends an invitation to have coffee, don't allow it to occupy your thoughts too much.

    Why can't or shouldn't the woman make the first move? It's 2016.

    Because it makes a 2016 gal look too eager, and consequently, she'll appear vulnerable or, ahem, a tad too easy. It will probably give him psychological leverage within the budding dynamics of their relationship - leverage she'd be wise to reserve for herself until she understands his character and his intentions.

    Meh, I knew this gal once who made the first move...we're married now for going on 11 years...16 years together total...so way back in 2000 this was fine.

    Srsly, what century do you live in?

    18 1/2 years married and I made the first move. 21 years together. So way back in 1995 this was fine.

    I made the first move in 1986. so I guess it was fine 30 yrs ago too and I was 18 and he was 23 . LOL

This discussion has been closed.