Just a perspective shift, someone here wishes they were as fat as you are!
TheChrissyT
Posts: 263 Member
I was thinking about this while I was vainly admiring my 227lb body this morning. I feel GREAT! I know that the body I have, size 16-18, many women on here are horrified to have. I started at 315 (340 if you count pregnancy weight), snug size 26. I've lost nearly 100lbs and seeing my figure emerging again, having the strength and energy I have, being able to shop in a regular department store, all of these things are so fantastic! It's all about perspective! No matter what size you are today, you should make the decision to love yourself and love your body how it is RIGHT NOW, and then love yourself enough to take care of it and get it where you will feel your most healthy. Just a rambling, pre-coffee thought. It is so much easier to take care of someone you love, than someone you hate.... and someone out there is so excited to only need to lose 100 more lbs, 20 more lbs, 5 more lbs.
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Great outlook!1
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Thank you. I am now a size 16-18 from a size 10. The reaction from friends and family is so negative0
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Thank you. I am now a size 16-18 from a size 10. The reaction from friends and family is so negative
I feel like that was my greatest hurdle in making the changes I needed in my life. I cared SO much about what everyone else thought and felt, and always felt like I was never measuring up. It was so easy to fail then, because I already felt like I was a failure. I didn't even want to try, because I didn't want them to see and celebrate my failure. My self esteem was so low, that I couldn't STAND to look at a picture of myself. I'd look at these special moments in pictures with my babies, and all I could see was a disgusting fat person, not the loving mother that I am having a special moment with the most important people in my life. I didn't wear any jewelry or anything, because I didn't want anyone to think I thought I was pretty, because I knew I wasn't. HOW SAD!! I REALLY had to work hard on rebuilding my self esteem, and the weight loss was a flow on benefit from that. Don't let anyone else decide how you feel about yourself!!
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Congratulations on your success and what a great attitude!2
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Good post. I try to remember this. I cringe the way some people describe themselves at weights that seem bad to them but are the result of hard work and progress for others. I still struggle with liking what I see in the mirror but try to remind myself that I've come a long way.3
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I have 40 lbs to lose and right now I am really not happy with my body. My mother has about 140 to lose and she just rolls her eyes at me because I'm trying lose weight. She said she would kill to only need to lose 40lbs and tries to make me feel bad about not being happy with my body. I am overweight but it's almost like my struggle is trivial to her. Does anyone else who has large amount to lose feel this way about those who have less? I mean I would rather start trying to loose 40 now than wait until I have 140 to lose before doing anything. And I agree with above you have a great attitude.4
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You put it very well. I have thought the same thing as I am losing weight. There was a time when I was at the weight I am now that I was so ashamed of that weight. Now I am happy to be that weight again and feel good about.
I was ashamed when I was 60 pounds less than I am now, 100 pounds less, even 150 pounds less. I will not be ashamed the next time I hit those weights. I will be ecstatic and I will be comfortable in my own skin this time. It is so hard rebuilding self esteem and it is an ongoing process to fight my own negative thoughts.2 -
I agree 100% it is so easy to encourage loved ones and others to love themselves. When it comes to our own self image, we don't see what others see, instead we look for faults. I am a victim of my own mind, as I am sure that many of you are as well. I am trying to find things about my self that I like and focusing on those aspects rather then standing in front of the mirror pulling at my "rolls" and wishing them away. It is a vicious cycle that makes us depressed and feel less beautiful. I spent months dreading the thought of going anywhere because my clothes didn't fit. That someone I know would see how much weight I had gained and one day I realized that I wasn't doing anything but gaining more weight and adding injury to insult. I was 230 lbs at my heaviest. I had lost it once. When I seen 177lbs on the scale I knew I had to do something because I refuse to go back. I'm down 17 already and everyday is a struggle, but I'm a loser and I'm not complaining. Love yourself because love is the answer for every question that matters in this life or the next.
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Someone put in perspective for me once: my weight is someone else's goal weight...enjoy the journey.3
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I have 40 lbs to lose and right now I am really not happy with my body. My mother has about 140 to lose and she just rolls her eyes at me because I'm trying lose weight. She said she would kill to only need to lose 40lbs and tries to make me feel bad about not being happy with my body. I am overweight but it's almost like my struggle is trivial to her. Does anyone else who has large amount to lose feel this way about those who have less? I mean I would rather start trying to loose 40 now than wait until I have 140 to lose before doing anything. And I agree with above you have a great attitude.
I think my only advice for handling situations like that is this: Think about the way that you're talking about your weight around her. Are you talking about the extra weight you have like it's disgusting or it makes you ugly or things like that? Because if so, think about how she must feel about herself with 3.5x as much to lose. She might feel like you think SHE looks gross, even if that's not true!
With that said, it's unfair for your struggle to be minimized. It's hard to lose 140lbs, but it's also hard to lose 40lbs. It requires the exact same effort, lifestyle changes, attitude changes, everything! It's not easy! Separate yourself from that negativity emotionally. How she feels about herself, and even how she feels about how YOU feel about yourself, has nothing to do with you.... it only has to do with her own feelings about her own situation. Take care of yourself FOR YOURSELF, not in spite of anyone else. Celebrate your success and maybe seeing you be positive, working hard, and seeing results will inspire her to take on the same attitude and see changes in her life. If it does, great! If it doesn't, that's not your fault/problem/concern.
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Thanks for sharing!1
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makingmark wrote: »You put it very well. I have thought the same thing as I am losing weight. There was a time when I was at the weight I am now that I was so ashamed of that weight. Now I am happy to be that weight again and feel good about.
I was ashamed when I was 60 pounds less than I am now, 100 pounds less, even 150 pounds less. I will not be ashamed the next time I hit those weights. I will be ecstatic and I will be comfortable in my own skin this time. It is so hard rebuilding self esteem and it is an ongoing process to fight my own negative thoughts.
I know exactly what you're feeling. I had to make the decision to be comfortable in my skin though. It is as easy to hate yourself on the way back down... when if I first started losing weight again, and started realizing that my body would never fully recover from what I had done to it, I was pretty hateful toward myself. My inner thighs are probably going to have loose skin, and probably my lower belly and under arms too. I know I can minimize these things with weight lifting (which I do), but they will still be there. For JUST A MINUTE, I thought, "OMG WHAT IS THE POINT IF I'M STILL GOING TO HATE MY BODY!???" and like I said before, I needed that perspective shift and all of those things matter so much less to me now than feeling great, being strong, and reaching goals.1 -
I am one of those people who has always struggled with self-esteem, even when I was thin. I am always seeking everyone else's approval instead of just being happy with myself. I have just started on this journey to be happy and am down 9.5 lbs from the heaviest I have ever been. I've tried more than once to lose weight, but I tend to give up easily when I don't see results quickly enough. I think I am finally ready to really do it this time. Not just for me, but for my children. I had gestational diabetes with all three and even had to have insulin shots with the last one. I need to take it seriously and get healthy so I don't get diabetes in the future. I need to be here for my children. It is so hard for me to take compliments because I don't believe good things about myself. My husband still tells me I am beautiful and sexy and he wants me. I am ashamed to say that my first instinct when he says these things is to I'm not, but thanks anyway. I need to remember that I am blessed for him to feel that way and I should learn to love myself as I am.3
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It helps me to read your posts and remind myself that I am not alone in this and that I am worth the effort this is going to take. My children are more than worth every lb I can lose to be a better mother. They are worth every bite of ice cream and nachos I don't eat and every sip of Mt. Dew I don't drink. I want to have the energy to run and play with them before they are too old to want to. I want to have family pictures that I am actually in. I want to be the mother that my kids deserve and can be proud of.2
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Yes !! Wonderful way of looking at it. So encouraging I really needed to read many of your comments. Thankful for this app1
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It helps me to read your posts and remind myself that I am not alone in this and that I am worth the effort this is going to take. My children are more than worth every lb I can lose to be a better mother. They are worth every bite of ice cream and nachos I don't eat and every sip of Mt. Dew I don't drink. I want to have the energy to run and play with them before they are too old to want to. I want to have family pictures that I am actually in. I want to be the mother that my kids deserve and can be proud of.
I totally cried reading your posts this morning. Yes, that was the driving factor for my starting all this. You should message me and I can show you some of things that I've found that have really helped me get where I needed to be emotionally to face all the emotions you go through with weight loss. I feels awful to turn away compliments because you honestly do not believe them. I have felt that and I know. I feel so connected to your story, I really hope that you stay with this course and find yourself. I'm going to send you a friend request. If you need someone, I want to be your cheerleader.0 -
Well put! I'm a size 14-16 down from a size 24 (and over 50 lbs down from when I started last November). My family is all overweight and look at me now thinking I'm where I need to be in terms of weight loss, but I still feel I have a ways to go. They scoff when I weigh all of the food I eat at home and look up the nutritional values while out to eat. This is for me, not for them. I'm comfortable. I'm getting healthy and fit, and I feel really good about that.3
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RandiNoelle wrote: »Well put! I'm a size 14-16 down from a size 24 (and over 50 lbs down from when I started last November). My family is all overweight and look at me now thinking I'm where I need to be in terms of weight loss, but I still feel I have a ways to go. They scoff when I weigh all of the food I eat at home and look up the nutritional values while out to eat. This is for me, not for them. I'm comfortable. I'm getting healthy and fit, and I feel really good about that.
You should feel really good about that. It takes so much discipline to be consistent with that. I fail at that all the time. Usually when people are negative about positive things you're doing, it has everything to do with them judging themselves when reminded by your success that they are not doing what they should be. If they were comfortable with themselves, it wouldn't matter to them what size you were or what you ate. Keep going girl!0 -
Great post and message!
I had a moment in my weight loss journey a few years ago when I thought I was looking really good after a 60 pound weight loss and at that time I had a severely morbidly obese co-worker tell me she would just like to be "fat like me" instead of complimenting me in a positive way...and to be honest it derailed me and it only took me looking back in hindsight to try to find the moment that broke my stride towards my goal, to see that was the catilius.
Yes, it's her fault for being rude and insensitive but it's not her fault that that those few words hurt me and broke my confidence, it's mine for obsessing over them and letting them have power over me.
I am happy to report that I am kind and supportive to that co-worker and she's lost over 80 pounds over the last few years and I give her nothing but positive reinforcement with her still long journey to health, because I would never want her to feel the way I did that day...like all my work was for nothing, that I was still fat by others standards.
Women should be each other's biggest supporters, we should build each other up and not break each other down.8 -
I started out at 5'6 230 and now I'm 174 size 8. I feel like I did when I was 230. Dieting is a struggle. I'm feeling like I can't get back on track. ):0
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I hope people who are discouraged and disappointed about losing only 2-10 lbs in a week or two and call themselves disgusting take a look at this thread. Someone out there wants to shake you for being so negative when you are doing great.
I focus on how far I've come and all the positives I've gained.1 -
I love this thread and thank you for the fresh point of view. I wish I could be 16-18 size as right know I'm about 29-22 but I will get there. It's hard work retraining they self.it's almost like being in kindergarten again and learning your ABC's instead how to eat and normal portions and when to stop eating bye, etc etc. just know that each person at their current weight inspires those at higher weights. So paying it forward helps and thank you. Please feel free to add me on as a friend.0
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Meant to type 20-22 size.0
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This was beautiful to read and soooo true. Thank you for posting! We can be so hard on ourselves instead of loving ourselves whilst on this journey.
I'm definitely going to try and be more positive, as this has really put things into perspective this morning!1 -
What an awesome post. I've always felt this way. I started right where you started, and currently right where you are so I can strongly relate, I just couldn't have articulated it as well. I'm happy, and it saddens me when people post threads where they describe themselves as "gross" or "disgusting" or "failure" at weights I would be totally stoked to reach. These people are missing on so much joy and life. It doesn't make their struggles or feelings any less valid for having only a few pounds to lose, but a change in perspective would make things so much easier and less taxing emotionally.3
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Such a wonderful reminder, today and everyday! Congratulations to you for making such great progress and achieving healthy changes. Thank you!1
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TheChrissyT wrote: »I was thinking about this while I was vainly admiring my 227lb body this morning. I feel GREAT! I know that the body I have, size 16-18, many women on here are horrified to have. I started at 315 (340 if you count pregnancy weight), snug size 26. I've lost nearly 100lbs and seeing my figure emerging again, having the strength and energy I have, being able to shop in a regular department store, all of these things are so fantastic! It's all about perspective! No matter what size you are today, you should make the decision to love yourself and love your body how it is RIGHT NOW, and then love yourself enough to take care of it and get it where you will feel your most healthy. Just a rambling, pre-coffee thought. It is so much easier to take care of someone you love, than someone you hate.... and someone out there is so excited to only need to lose 100 more lbs, 20 more lbs, 5 more lbs.
This!!! You sound great. And I want to emulate your attitude
Please add me as a friend... 1 -
terrileighfit13 wrote: »I started out at 5'6 230 and now I'm 174 size 8. I feel like I did when I was 230. Dieting is a struggle. I'm feeling like I can't get back on track. ):
So you can see that the problem isn't your body, it's what you THINK of your body. You should message me and I will send you some ideas and things I did to change my perception of myself. You are beautiful and you're doing great, but the only person that really matters for, is YOU! 0 -
Great post OP! I can tell you are going to be a successful long-term maintainer given you mindset and thought process. Congrats and keep moving forward!0
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greaseisstilltheword wrote: »Someone put in perspective for me once: my weight is someone else's goal weight...enjoy the journey.
So true.0
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