Just a perspective shift, someone here wishes they were as fat as you are!

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TheChrissyT
TheChrissyT Posts: 263 Member
in Motivation and Support
I was thinking about this while I was vainly admiring my 227lb body this morning. I feel GREAT! I know that the body I have, size 16-18, many women on here are horrified to have. I started at 315 (340 if you count pregnancy weight), snug size 26. I've lost nearly 100lbs and seeing my figure emerging again, having the strength and energy I have, being able to shop in a regular department store, all of these things are so fantastic! It's all about perspective! No matter what size you are today, you should make the decision to love yourself and love your body how it is RIGHT NOW, and then love yourself enough to take care of it and get it where you will feel your most healthy. Just a rambling, pre-coffee thought. It is so much easier to take care of someone you love, than someone you hate.... and someone out there is so excited to only need to lose 100 more lbs, 20 more lbs, 5 more lbs.
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Replies

  • capaul42
    capaul42 Posts: 1,390 Member
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    Great outlook!
  • okungbowa
    okungbowa Posts: 47 Member
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    Thank you. I am now a size 16-18 from a size 10. The reaction from friends and family is so negative
  • shrcpr
    shrcpr Posts: 885 Member
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    Congratulations on your success and what a great attitude!
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    Good post. I try to remember this. I cringe the way some people describe themselves at weights that seem bad to them but are the result of hard work and progress for others. I still struggle with liking what I see in the mirror but try to remind myself that I've come a long way.
  • aprilkorn
    aprilkorn Posts: 26 Member
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    I have 40 lbs to lose and right now I am really not happy with my body. My mother has about 140 to lose and she just rolls her eyes at me because I'm trying lose weight. She said she would kill to only need to lose 40lbs and tries to make me feel bad about not being happy with my body. I am overweight but it's almost like my struggle is trivial to her. Does anyone else who has large amount to lose feel this way about those who have less? I mean I would rather start trying to loose 40 now than wait until I have 140 to lose before doing anything. And I agree with above you have a great attitude.
  • upoffthemat
    upoffthemat Posts: 679 Member
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    You put it very well. I have thought the same thing as I am losing weight. There was a time when I was at the weight I am now that I was so ashamed of that weight. Now I am happy to be that weight again and feel good about.
    I was ashamed when I was 60 pounds less than I am now, 100 pounds less, even 150 pounds less. I will not be ashamed the next time I hit those weights. I will be ecstatic and I will be comfortable in my own skin this time. It is so hard rebuilding self esteem and it is an ongoing process to fight my own negative thoughts.
  • mandyloose123
    mandyloose123 Posts: 21 Member
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    I agree 100% it is so easy to encourage loved ones and others to love themselves. When it comes to our own self image, we don't see what others see, instead we look for faults. I am a victim of my own mind, as I am sure that many of you are as well. I am trying to find things about my self that I like and focusing on those aspects rather then standing in front of the mirror pulling at my "rolls" and wishing them away. It is a vicious cycle that makes us depressed and feel less beautiful. I spent months dreading the thought of going anywhere because my clothes didn't fit. That someone I know would see how much weight I had gained and one day I realized that I wasn't doing anything but gaining more weight and adding injury to insult. I was 230 lbs at my heaviest. I had lost it once. When I seen 177lbs on the scale I knew I had to do something because I refuse to go back. I'm down 17 already and everyday is a struggle, but I'm a loser and I'm not complaining. Love yourself because love is the answer for every question that matters in this life or the next.
  • greaseisstilltheword
    greaseisstilltheword Posts: 15 Member
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    Someone put in perspective for me once: my weight is someone else's goal weight...enjoy the journey.
  • TheChrissyT
    TheChrissyT Posts: 263 Member
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    aprilkorn wrote: »
    I have 40 lbs to lose and right now I am really not happy with my body. My mother has about 140 to lose and she just rolls her eyes at me because I'm trying lose weight. She said she would kill to only need to lose 40lbs and tries to make me feel bad about not being happy with my body. I am overweight but it's almost like my struggle is trivial to her. Does anyone else who has large amount to lose feel this way about those who have less? I mean I would rather start trying to loose 40 now than wait until I have 140 to lose before doing anything. And I agree with above you have a great attitude.

    I think my only advice for handling situations like that is this: Think about the way that you're talking about your weight around her. Are you talking about the extra weight you have like it's disgusting or it makes you ugly or things like that? Because if so, think about how she must feel about herself with 3.5x as much to lose. She might feel like you think SHE looks gross, even if that's not true!

    With that said, it's unfair for your struggle to be minimized. It's hard to lose 140lbs, but it's also hard to lose 40lbs. It requires the exact same effort, lifestyle changes, attitude changes, everything! It's not easy! Separate yourself from that negativity emotionally. How she feels about herself, and even how she feels about how YOU feel about yourself, has nothing to do with you.... it only has to do with her own feelings about her own situation. Take care of yourself FOR YOURSELF, not in spite of anyone else. Celebrate your success and maybe seeing you be positive, working hard, and seeing results will inspire her to take on the same attitude and see changes in her life. If it does, great! If it doesn't, that's not your fault/problem/concern. <3
  • MermaidAmanda10
    MermaidAmanda10 Posts: 63 Member
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    Thanks for sharing!
  • TheChrissyT
    TheChrissyT Posts: 263 Member
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    makingmark wrote: »
    You put it very well. I have thought the same thing as I am losing weight. There was a time when I was at the weight I am now that I was so ashamed of that weight. Now I am happy to be that weight again and feel good about.
    I was ashamed when I was 60 pounds less than I am now, 100 pounds less, even 150 pounds less. I will not be ashamed the next time I hit those weights. I will be ecstatic and I will be comfortable in my own skin this time. It is so hard rebuilding self esteem and it is an ongoing process to fight my own negative thoughts.

    I know exactly what you're feeling. I had to make the decision to be comfortable in my skin though. It is as easy to hate yourself on the way back down... when if I first started losing weight again, and started realizing that my body would never fully recover from what I had done to it, I was pretty hateful toward myself. My inner thighs are probably going to have loose skin, and probably my lower belly and under arms too. I know I can minimize these things with weight lifting (which I do), but they will still be there. For JUST A MINUTE, I thought, "OMG WHAT IS THE POINT IF I'M STILL GOING TO HATE MY BODY!???" and like I said before, I needed that perspective shift and all of those things matter so much less to me now than feeling great, being strong, and reaching goals.
  • 4evrazen
    4evrazen Posts: 6 Member
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    I am one of those people who has always struggled with self-esteem, even when I was thin. I am always seeking everyone else's approval instead of just being happy with myself. I have just started on this journey to be happy and am down 9.5 lbs from the heaviest I have ever been. I've tried more than once to lose weight, but I tend to give up easily when I don't see results quickly enough. I think I am finally ready to really do it this time. Not just for me, but for my children. I had gestational diabetes with all three and even had to have insulin shots with the last one. I need to take it seriously and get healthy so I don't get diabetes in the future. I need to be here for my children. It is so hard for me to take compliments because I don't believe good things about myself. My husband still tells me I am beautiful and sexy and he wants me. I am ashamed to say that my first instinct when he says these things is to I'm not, but thanks anyway. I need to remember that I am blessed for him to feel that way and I should learn to love myself as I am.
  • 4evrazen
    4evrazen Posts: 6 Member
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    It helps me to read your posts and remind myself that I am not alone in this and that I am worth the effort this is going to take. My children are more than worth every lb I can lose to be a better mother. They are worth every bite of ice cream and nachos I don't eat and every sip of Mt. Dew I don't drink. I want to have the energy to run and play with them before they are too old to want to. I want to have family pictures that I am actually in. I want to be the mother that my kids deserve and can be proud of.
  • Missperalta
    Missperalta Posts: 6 Member
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    Yes !! Wonderful way of looking at it. So encouraging I really needed to read many of your comments. Thankful for this app
  • TheChrissyT
    TheChrissyT Posts: 263 Member
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    4evrazen wrote: »
    It helps me to read your posts and remind myself that I am not alone in this and that I am worth the effort this is going to take. My children are more than worth every lb I can lose to be a better mother. They are worth every bite of ice cream and nachos I don't eat and every sip of Mt. Dew I don't drink. I want to have the energy to run and play with them before they are too old to want to. I want to have family pictures that I am actually in. I want to be the mother that my kids deserve and can be proud of.

    I totally cried reading your posts this morning. Yes, that was the driving factor for my starting all this. You should message me and I can show you some of things that I've found that have really helped me get where I needed to be emotionally to face all the emotions you go through with weight loss. I feels awful to turn away compliments because you honestly do not believe them. I have felt that and I know. I feel so connected to your story, I really hope that you stay with this course and find yourself. I'm going to send you a friend request. If you need someone, I want to be your cheerleader.
  • RandiNoelle
    RandiNoelle Posts: 374 Member
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    Well put! I'm a size 14-16 down from a size 24 (and over 50 lbs down from when I started last November). My family is all overweight and look at me now thinking I'm where I need to be in terms of weight loss, but I still feel I have a ways to go. They scoff when I weigh all of the food I eat at home and look up the nutritional values while out to eat. This is for me, not for them. I'm comfortable. I'm getting healthy and fit, and I feel really good about that.
  • TheChrissyT
    TheChrissyT Posts: 263 Member
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    RandiNoelle wrote: »
    Well put! I'm a size 14-16 down from a size 24 (and over 50 lbs down from when I started last November). My family is all overweight and look at me now thinking I'm where I need to be in terms of weight loss, but I still feel I have a ways to go. They scoff when I weigh all of the food I eat at home and look up the nutritional values while out to eat. This is for me, not for them. I'm comfortable. I'm getting healthy and fit, and I feel really good about that.

    You should feel really good about that. It takes so much discipline to be consistent with that. I fail at that all the time. Usually when people are negative about positive things you're doing, it has everything to do with them judging themselves when reminded by your success that they are not doing what they should be. If they were comfortable with themselves, it wouldn't matter to them what size you were or what you ate. Keep going girl!
  • terrileighfit13
    terrileighfit13 Posts: 3 Member
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    I started out at 5'6 230 and now I'm 174 size 8. I feel like I did when I was 230. Dieting is a struggle. I'm feeling like I can't get back on track. ):

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